TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ Dec 07/Jan 08

**bettyboop** · January 17th, 2008, 08:27 AM

now i need cake , i have just done a hair cut on a young girl who is 35 weeks preg and is 18 , she only went out with thee babys father for 2 months, i dont meen to offend young people , i so much want a baby in my arms

**ll80** · January 17th, 2008, 08:33 AM

grrrr, does stir you up doesn't it, at that age you just don't appreciate anything as much as when you tick a few more years off the calendar.
Luckily, I always have a good supply of cake and am always willing to share, as long as I get the bigger piece because, quite frankly, I am greedy

..Laura

**tempus moriendi** · January 17th, 2008, 09:08 AM

anthonysmom: LOL!

Leigh26: I'm so sorry for your losses. I"ll keep you in my prayers and sending a big cyberhug

AJC: did you find the maybe baby accurate and in line with temps and cm? I've considered buying one in the past because we chart when we want to TTA, also and wondering if that could be one more tool in our arsenal, LOL! Of course, non of this will be an issue until we actually have another baby, but I'm always looking toward the future...

Angel Babies: never more than a month between end of MC bleed and AF. But we're talking weird cycles with weird temp patterns ie not ovulatory.

Katiegirl: good luck!

bettyboop: pulling for you (as always)

ll80: try not to get too stressed with the move (easier said than done, I know). You want to make yourself good and healthy for next TTC!

**AJC** · January 17th, 2008, 09:46 AM

BBoop - I'm hearing you. It feels like a slap in the face everytime I see a pregnant woman or hear of someone I know who was "on the pill" and fell pregnant. I know what you mean - you don't regrude them having happiness but it just feels so bad inside for you. Hope you get that appointment soon - I don't think they realise that days feel like weeks.

TempusM - hmmmm. Maybe baby didn't work that well for me, it might work better for you. According to the instructions you are supposed to get a full ferning pattern for around 2 days prior to ovulation. I tend to get ferning for longer than that so it's hard for me to pinpoint it to those crucial days. I hardly use mine now, I ocasionally use it for something to do and to feel like I'm getting my money's worth.

Angel babies: Took af 6 weeks to arrive after first d&c and 4 weeks after 2nd d&c. I think anything up to 8 weeks is considered 'normal' - but I don't like to use the word normal when talking about anything to do with ttc because anything is possible.

ll80 - sounds like you have everything planned nicely. DH and I are so glad we had a break this time. We both feel so much better about things now and it certainly bought the romance back in the bedroom that's for sure

Good luck with the moving and don't forget to take time out to spoil yourself so you'll be all relaxed when you ttc again.

KGirl - good luck hope everything works out for ttc at end of Jan. Do you temp? I think temping is the best way to tell if you O or not.

**Leigh26** · January 17th, 2008, 11:47 AM

Angel babies, it took me 12 weeks to get AF after I had my D & C.

TempusM: I've got Maybe Baby and don't rely on it because it always gives me mixed results. I still use it though but also chart my temps and use OPK's.

Im on CD9 and usually ovulate on either CD 13, 14 or 15 so not long to go now until I do. DH will be away from Saturday until next Wednesday so tomorrow night is the 1 and only shot we'll have because he's working tonight as well. Fingers crossed his swimmers will be strong and make it to my egg.

**Baby Angels** · January 17th, 2008, 01:30 PM

I so know what your talking about when you look at your age and goooo.....Hey best hurry up here.... times a tickin. The day I went in and saw what was my first FS he said some magic words to me. Once we do an egg pick up they stay 38. SO I went full steam ahead. Never had anything to do with IVF before, I m in there having all my endo removed, went in to have my polyps removed (other end sorry) then started straight way. Within 4 weeks I have had 2 operations and I m ready to gooo.... Why... cause my eggs get to stay 38. Dont worry about me I m hardly walking cause of the speed its all traveling but i m there raring to go..... I do the cycle and wham.....BFP first go around.... there I am still hardly walk but doing cartwheels..... The whole time DH was there saying hey I think your rushing this a bit why dont we wait a tad so you have time to get over each operation. I m like......NOPE my eggs are going to stay 38...... Unfortunately out of 9 eggs only 2 fertilized and were viable for ICIS. Then of course I lost my angels and here I am thinking ok.... well my damn eggs will just have to be 39. If I wasnt so pushed for time I would have allowed my body to settle a bit. So the later years..... God sounds like I m talking about 60 and 70s.... wow.... Nope... the later years adds extra to the mix and adds to the journey.

As for the 18 year old..... dont be to cranky with her. I was 18 and pregnant. I was on the pill and got pregnant anyway. And she still has to find the love of her life so its her that is loosing. If you can see what I mean. Think of if she was your daughter. She is 18 and the Baby s father is gone. She s pushing chit up hill now. Regardless of all of that..... I m sending you some cyber cake anyway.

**Katiegirl** · January 17th, 2008, 03:22 PM

Thanks for sending me luck.

AJC - I have used natural family planning in the past (to avoid) so am very aware of my cycle, so that is covered. My naturopath now has me taking my temps but it means nothing to me at present. I see her again last week of Jan so hopefully she will explain it all. At the moment my temp is rising and falling each day within a 4-5 point range.

I think I am ovulating - started yesterday - and I am really tempted to TTC...I did tell the naturopath i would wait until the end of month - plus she has me on lots of herbs etc. Do you think being on these herbs could be a problem for TTCing? The main concern is Chaste Tree - it is in the herbal tonic. Does anyone know?

**Baby Angels** · January 18th, 2008, 12:23 AM

Well I did it. I have found one reason after the other why I was to busy or whatever but today I did it. I actually went to the gym. I have been the absolute queen of procrastination with that one.

I was here thinking.... there is not really anything I can do until AF arrives. Then..... as if a voice out of the blue....... yes there is.... you can start getting healthy.

So I actually did. I put my old Gym clothes on, which disturbed me greatly...... because they fit. My 18 year old son couldnt work out why I was disturbed by that. I then told him it meant that my "bubby tummy" was gone and now i m just left with my normal "chubby tummy'

So off I went into the Gym. Found the most a treadmill and walked and walked and walked. Hubby and both my boys were at the gym with me they seemed to one by one end up on the tread mill next to me, probably more so to just keep an eye on me. But for 45 minutes I walked. 3.41km. I would love to say that I worked of heaps of calories but hey I didnt. But it was a start.

So once again.... 1 day at a time. Today it was the gym and 45minutes of walking... who tomorrow may be 45 minute s of walking and a round of weights. By the time AF arrives I could be back in the swing of things and a bit of a gym junkie....... hmmmmm cant quite see that happening.

**nicksterUK** · January 18th, 2008, 03:19 AM

Angel Babies- well done. I know it's hard to pick yourself up and get on with something that you should'nt do when pg, because it means acknowledging that we aren't..anymore. I suddenly decided to get toned up recently and bought myself 2 keep fit DVD's and have been prancing around at home, much to my family's amusement. I couldn't face going to a gym- far too many beautiful people!
Now I can exercise and have a cup of tea and peanut butter on toast all at the same time!! Result!! lol
I also had my hair revamped- (cut much shorter, styled and highlighted REALLY blonde) it's made me feel better about myself, especially going back to work as my colleagues compliment me on my new look which distracts from any awkwardness (mostly)!
One woman blatantly avoided me today- adn i think she must be pregnant as I'm sure she had a bump. We normally get on really well, I do hope it won't create any difficulties- i'm not sure how I feel about other pregnant woman around me yet. Poor BettyBoop, I feel for you... and dread coping with those raw emotions x

**Baby Angels** · January 18th, 2008, 04:11 AM

You are as bad as I am. You prance to your DVD with Peanut Butter and Toast. I decide I m hungry before going to the Gym and hubby and I go in for McDonalds.

Hmmmmmm me thinkin this might not work doing it this way....

As for the woman at work..... I think for some of the people we work with its very uncomfortable for them. Mind you I wasnt really looking at it from their point of view a week ago when I first went back, but now I can see that it would be difficult for them.

Many years ago I was pregnant with my son, who is now 16. My closest friend was also pregnant. Now this friend had tried for years to have a baby. It was an issue with her husbands swimmers. After tests it turned out that it could be fixed but he wasnt prepared to do it..... no idea what it was she never went into to much detail. Anyway it got to her to the degree that it cost them their marriage. A couple of years later there we were..... Her and I both pregnant. At 30 weeks.... I was about 12 weeks myself..... at 30 weeks she was told that her babies lungs and vital organs had stopped growning (this is using up some memory brain cells to recall the details) She was then given the option of delivering then or going the full term. She decided to go the full term.

I obviously could not understand to her degree what she was going through. I do know at the time I was incrediably uncomfortable not knowing what to do or how to act. Now to some degree the shoes are on my feet now and I cant expect other people to know how to react to what has happened. Maybe I should be showing the way for them.

WOW thats very profound of me for 5am. But I suppose it s true. Isnt it amaizing how sometimes you can just be sitting there and have a moment of realization.

Now with that I m off to bed... the alarm goes off in 2 hours for work.

**mollycat** · January 18th, 2008, 05:25 AM

Hi, I've been TTC for about 10 years, I finally fell pg in Oct, but m/c in nov 07 at 8w. af arrived 4 weeks after m/c, then again 4 weeks later (it's as if nothing had happened, just missed a couple of months). I also have PCOS and endo to add to this mix. For some reason I really wanted this month to be "the one", and have been really disappointed ever since AF arrived.

One of my clients is also pg, (I would have been due about 3 weeks after her), and it is really hard watching her belly grow (i see her 3 days a week), she had scans on wed. which went good for her, and I am pleased for her but it makes it hard on me. Just feeling sorry for myself!

I've started off the exercise programme I was doing before I fell pg. lots of walking, eating properly (trying!!!!), and thinking of joining a gym, which if i can fit it in before work, i just might, (i start at 7am and finish at 5.30pm).

nicksteruk - i know what you mean about the hair, i had mine re-done last night, it's now lovely shades of red and pink and about half the length, i think i really needed the cut, my hormones made it all dry and yuck (feels so much better).

**bettyboop** · January 18th, 2008, 06:09 AM

mollycat- hi there , sorry for your loss.
angle babies- well do you
i am now day 85 since D&C,10 dpo i so much want AF to arrive so i can move on, my dh thinks i am so grumpy at the moment , i think it is no AF and my birthday is close, another year older.

**Katiegirl** · January 18th, 2008, 07:01 AM

Hi Mollycat - sorry for your loss. I hope that you are doing okay and getting the support you need.

Hearing you all talk about the gym has reminded me that I said I would start walking each day for min 30 mins....has only happened a couple of times. I really want to lose weight before we fall pregnant again - so I need to start motivating myself.

I know what you all mean about doing things that you wouldn't be able to do pregnant. We were walking the other night, and I tripped and fell hard. I started crying after and explained to DH it was not because of the pain, but because if i fell like that pregnant it would have been scarier. I admitted that as I was falling my thought was 'thank god I am not pregnant and this can't hurt the baby'. It made me realise how front of mind the baby has always been for me.

I hope you are all doing well. It is hard to see women who are at the same stage of pregnancy we should be. I have that situation coming up in a week (friend due 2 weeks after I would have been) and I am worried about seeing her for the first time.

**Baby Angels** · January 18th, 2008, 08:24 AM

Firstly I know what you mean about things being different, I walked through the shopping center and someone came towards me and I automatically put my arm around my stomach to protect my babies........ Its really confronting, not once has it happened where I havent ended up in tears running down and trying to just continue through the shopping center. One day soon I wont try and protect my angel babies that left me 18 Days ago.

Now I do have a question that I m sure I will get a better answer here than anywhere else.

As most of you know I lost my babies on new years. I have been waiting for AF to start my next cycle. While I have been waiting I have been trying to figure out this whole charting thing.

Now If I go by the charting theory.... even though I dont have huge amounts of information, then my BBT has dropped dramatically to 36.1 and have egg white CM..... NOW does that mean........ even though I have recently Miscarried that I am ovulating. The way I understand it on a normal cycle those are the factors for ovulating but is it still that way straight after a miscarriage.

**ll80** · January 18th, 2008, 08:43 AM

I have no idea about charting Angel Babies so can't help you there. I try to stay ignorant as much as possible because I know if I start it would become an obsession.

Betty- I hope you get your af asap so you can move along in your journey.

All this talk of excercise makes me feel guilty lol. Went for a long walk yesterday, mainly because we sold our cars so we didn't have to drive down to Melbourne and have no other choice but to walk lol.
I would like to lose about 5-10kg if I can before start TTC. DP needs to lose a whole lot more just for his health as he is quite round, just hard to get motivated, I am especially lazy and would rather just sit at home and cook and eat good food lol. Unfortunately not very good for the waist line.

..Laura

**tempus moriendi** · January 18th, 2008, 09:48 AM

Just spent more than an hour filling out the health forms for the FS next month. what's got me worried, however, is he will be my primary MD until well into my next preg. but if I don't get preg, how long will he keep me? besides, I don't want to feel pressured to get preg. I'm so ambivalent right now...gonna go slice me some of that cyber cake if there's any left LOL!...

Katiegirl: I'd love to know how you used maybe baby for TTA. didn't you say in another thread that you use NFP? because we do, too. Is it something you can explain over this thread, or did you follow the directions in the package or a boo? I'd really love to know. thanks

Angel Babies: very proud of you for taking positive steps for your health. you go, grrl! *doing that snap in the z formation thingy* PS that was an amazing story about your friend. she sounds incredibly brave.
some women do ovulate right away after MC

mollycat: i'm so sorry for your losses. i'll keep you in my prayers

bettyboop: hang in there!

**Trac73** · January 18th, 2008, 02:34 PM

Hey Everyone

bettyboo - know exactly how you feel about other people being pregnant. I found out last night that someone we know has fallen pregnant with her second child and she isn't happy about it and here we are sitting and waiting for it to happen with us just once. I am really happy for her but just feel a little jealous too.

Katiegirl - i am with you i also want to lose some weight before falling pregnant again but finding it really hard to get motivated. Even though pregnancy is a great motivation it seems to be really hard to get my butt off the couch when i have been at work and have woken a couple of times through the night with my 2 year old.

Hope everyone has a great weekend..have fun and think babies

**Katiegirl** · January 18th, 2008, 04:15 PM

Hi Tempus. I have not used the Maybe Baby. I do practise NFP - so am adept at checking my mucous daily (TMI!!!). We used it at first to prevent conception, so it also made it easier the other way around. I have heard about this Maybe Baby but I do not think I will use it just yet. My naturopath has me taking my temps but I have no idea what is all means. The highest my temp has gotten over a 2 week period is 36.3 and the lowest about 35.9. Is there meant to be a sharp rise at ovulation? I seriously need some education!

To everyone else, I hope you had good Fridays and a great weekend ahead of you.