TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 08

[Katiegirl]

Okay going out on a limb here - and this is embarrassing....but one of my songs that makes me think of my baby and what has happened - is The Dance by Garth Brooks. I am not a Country fan but I lived in the US for a year when I was 18 and a lot of my friends like Garth. Even though I wasn't really into it, I did love this song. And now it really has great meaning to me. It is all about accepting that in order to avoid pain (break up etc) you would have had to miss the great moments. There is another one called Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye by Chantal Kreviazuk. I love sad songs.

I have a distince feeling AF is on its way - I just wish it would hurry up. Today is CD28.

Angel Babies - I am glad you feel you are doing some positive things - certainly sounds like you are getting a good programme happening. What herbs are you taking?

[Baby Angels]

I think I m going to put in an obvious one here. Fly by Celine Dion. But the words are just "made" for our babies.

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this memory bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

Other than that I have put quite few poems on the angelbabies web site. They are ones that have helped me during my hours and hours of searching the internet.... i suppose searching for an answer I never found. BUT I did find some beautiful poems.

I will share this one with you.... I wrote this myself.


Cameron Azrael & Krystal Sariel

We?ll never get to hold you,
Or look upon your face.
We?ll never get to show you,
Our love through our embrace.

We?ll never have the feeling,
Of you calling out to us.
We?ll never know the feeling,
Of you looking up to us.

Why you were taken away from us ,
We?ll never really know.
We look around for a sign,
As to why you weren?t to grow.

There is nothing we can do right now
Our minds are an absolute mess.
There is confusion, sadness, sorry,
And anger I must confess.

Our tears can not bring you back,
Back into our world.
You are gone from us on this plain
We?ll meet again I know.

So until that time I ll say to you,
And you must listen to your mummy.
Watch out for us when we come one day,
Your mummy and your daddy.

That one I wrote, the others on the site i DID NOT write but they are beautiful. I still read them with a tear as I remember my babies.

I have to say. Most days I am at the stage where I can remember them without the aganising pain. It was a month ago yesterday and then a month ago today. I miss them I still get sad but but the anger has softened the deep breathtaking pain has weakened.

There is a bereavement site over in the US. I contacted them a few weeks ago and they made bracelets for my babies. They arrived yesterday. It has their Birthstones on them, the names I gave them along with some pearls, crystals and charms. They arent real gold and they arent high quality that will last if I wore them every day but its comforting wearing them at the moment.

It is still a rollercoaster, up one minuted down the next..... but overall I have more up now...... thank god!