TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ July 07

[pash]

Satya I guess we don't want to make the decision to come home an emotional one. And our plan had always been to come back pregnant, so if we went back now, I think we might feel like total abysmal failures once we got back, IYKWIM. Wow, I knew IVF was expensive, but I didn't realise how much! I hope it is cheaper for you too! BTW on Thu, I had the pregnant lady & 4 ppl all standing round my desk chatting about pg & giving birth. I was very proud of myself for not being angry (none of them know) & bitter. Also, I realised that everyone else has good stories, now, from BB, I know so many sad stories. Anyway, sounds like you've got loads of delish BD coming your way, hope you catch the egg!
treelo Have your belly pains stopped? Glad you spoke to DH about BD again. Its good to know his real reasons. My DH is unsure about TTC and wants to wait for a couple of months, and he's nervous about breaking/infecting something inside me. He also hates being thought of as a sperm dispenser and thinks timing sex takes the romance/passion out of baby making. Oh, and I named my bubs too & hoped that as they grew up, those names would be nick names. Let us know how you go on Mon.
TTBP How frustrating. When in Aug is your FS appt? Are there drugs that help with ovulation? I hope you feel more +ve.
Lee You're right, I have an interview on Mon, without even sending out my cv, so I guess thats a +ve. Hey, did I read you're in Hobart? My in-laws are taswegians (by sea change). If you want to get away, maybe try a weekend away in Bicheno I know a couple of nice places to stay. PS I'm a recent convert to the BLT & streaky bacon too!
LizJessie DH & I told all our friends & family about our first pg at 8wks and the next week we were told there was no heartbeat. It did feel really embarassing, but what really hurt was that a fw 'friends' said that we shouldn't have announced it to everyone. Still don't know whether they didn't want to know, or if they thought it would actually have chnaged the outcome. But this type of thing brings in focus who ur real friends are. I hope you have some good support around you.
Shoegal About the tests, at first they are doing rubella & blood group tests on me, and chromosome tests on both me & DH. I have no idea what tests they will do at the actual appt, but I'll keep you posted. I think the chromosome tests are hilarious, cos I think they are meant to make sure that DH & I aren't brother & sister. Only, I'm Indian, and DH is a white first-fleeter! Our parents have really been lying to us if we do turn out to be related! Good luck with the HPT tomorrow, I look forward to some good news!
SweetPetite I am so glad that u feel better. How was the weekend with the fam?
BritKane I'm glad to hear that you and DP are talking things through. M/c & ttc is a tough thing for a relationship to go thru.
Diane awww I'm sorry you were a bit down after your friends visit. It is hard when you feel sad at times when you don't want to feel sad. I hope you get a BFP on Wed, at least there has been no sign of AF so far
Leyla lol "I'm in London Still" can get me boohooing at the best of times! Sounds promising, I bet your MIA time has been used for some quality BD-ing. What's ur testing strategy?
Faith Welcome. My gyn said that the first couple of AFs can be heavier/lighter than usual, and that is normal.
2mums Its scary how little the docs actually know. I have heard so many times that the most common reason for m/c is chromosomal abnormalities or that if you see a heartbeat at the scan, that you have a +90% chance of going to term. But then you read about ppl where it hasn't gone that way, or are one of those ppl, and you wonder whether the stats the docs feed you are just BS. Sometimes I find the bad luck explanation really hard to take. There has to be a scientific reason things don't work, and the docs just don't know. Sorry about the rant, hope things are going well for you both.
Penny Its good that you can be so philosophical about your loss (rather than a cranky b1tch trying to blame the docs, like moi *sheepish-grin*).

Everyone I have a question that's been going round my head for the last couple of days. Which is better, to not fall pg at all (say over the last few months), or to fall pg & m/c? What do you think?

I chucked a huge hissy fit at the hospital blood clinic on Wed I had gone to the hospital clinic in the morning to get my HCG test (had to wait an hour). Then went to the GP, who only knew how to organise the rubella & blood grp test, but DH & I also needed chromosome tests. So I went to the local clinic who did the tests and said they could do the chromosome test too. Went back to the GP who had figured out how to order the chromosome test. Went back to the local clinic, where a different person said that they couldn't do the test, we had to go to the hospital. So DH & I went to the hospital, where we waited, and then were told that the GP had filled out the wrong form!!! ARRRRRRGGGH! I lost it! After tears and a tantrum, they did the test anyway. I felt a bit ashamed afterwards though.

Anyway, have only the HCG results back, and its not good. My HCG levels have gone up a tiny bit from last week. They still think the twins weren't molar, but don't know why my HCg isn't dropping. SO I'm having another scan on Wed. I am so over all this

But aside from that things are good. Had my first Brick Lane curry with a couple of friends on Thu night. The curry was awful, but it was good to have a night with friends after a bit of bad news. And I have a job interview on Mon!

[satya]

Hi everyone,

Twomums - sorry that it wasn't your month again this month. It really does get harder the longer you have to keep TTCing. I've had 10 years of unsuccessful TTCing now (only about 18 months of it so far with my new partner) so I've got a lot better at handling it, but I remember how bad I used to be in the early years. I expect I'll end up very down again soon if I'm not successful on my own and have to have IVF.

Susan - glad things are on the mend. Good luck with it all.

Sharon - Hope your AF has left the building. Fingers crossed for you this cycle.

I'm now 3DPO CD16 and am waiting for all the stupid fake symptoms I get to start as they usually start at 3DPO. I guess I should start calling them post O symptoms as that's what they must be.

Treelo - Disagreements about BDing are very common after m/c and with long term TTC so don't stress too much about it.

LizJessie - some people say that TTCing straight after a m/c can increase your chances of another m/c so maybe it is a good idea to wait. The other problem with TTCing straight away is that if you do have another m/c you will probably not handle it as well as you would have if you had waited until you were both ready to try again.

Penny - I think you are supposed to have at least 3 hours straight sleep before temping to get an accurate temp so that could be causing your fluctuations.

Pash - You did well to get thru all that pg talk unscathed. Your question is a hard one. On one hand I think having only had two pregnancies & subsequent m/c in 10+ years has made things easier for me than if I'd had a dozen or so m/c in that time. On the other it may have actually made it harder as I find it hard to imagine I'm ever going to pregnant again as it just takes so long for me to conceive and I'm running out of time. At least if I got pregnant every few months I would think well one of these pregnancies will eventually work. That's weird about your HCG level. I hope the scan shows something that will explain that level.