I tried to post last night and I'd written quite a lot too... shame it didn't work.
Sorry to keep you all wondering how I am... well the answer in short isn't very positive sorry.

I am fine in myself generally, although very spotty and hormonal which is irratating the bjeez out of me. I took myself riding yesterday to try and take my mind off of things, I cantered up and down the beach and blew away some cobwebs. I think its the only thing which actually takes my mind off things at this time.

Last night I had this horrid dream though, I had a baby and it was TINY... I mean tiny and I knew it wouldn't survive, I woke up feeling quite depressed and ill. I am about to go and get a bath, even though its mid afternoon and try to 'boost myself up a bit'.

I am convinced I have had yet another chem preg and quite frankly I'm ready to throw the towel in.