Hayley I'm sorry for all the grief you've been through the last year. Welcome to this thread, and I hope you leave a smugly happy pg lady yourself It is hard to deal with well meaning but really hurtful "advice". So I totally hear you there.

Kerry I'm in Sydney now, afer a fab stopover in HK. It's a bit cool for this time of year, and I've been up since 3am! But I'm just happy to be with family and friends.

Annabelle :hugs: It just feels so unfair sometimes. But you're a wonderful supportive sister, and your nieces/nephews are lucky to have you for an aunt. As will be your kids when you do have them.

Bettyboop I hope the spotting turns into AF. I totally understand your frustration.

Hello to everyone else.

My HCG levels had dropped to 5, but then last week, went back up to 8. This is bad news for me. I had thought that I was so close to normal, and had counted out the 6 months, after which we could start ttc again. I had gotten so excited, and I guess I had counted my chickens. But now that it's gone up, I wonder whether January holds chemo for me, and and no ttc until 2009.

Sorry for dumping this on this thread, which should be full of hope and cheer. I just feel so down and hopeless. I couldn't sleep v well last night. And just feel like this has taken the shine off the joy of seeing everyone again. I don't want to be unhappy now, but just feel so hopeless. 2009 is so far away and I'll be so much older then.

I know in the past I've been really melodramatic by expecting the worst. But somehow, whenever I get my hopes up, they're dashed.