I did my first monthly test on Friday. In the afternoon at 4:30pm. STUPID thing to do, as I then had to wait until Monday for the result and spent the whole weekend convincing myself that something was wrong. Which it wasn't.
So, clinic nurse was really nice (I have returned my patient survey since last I spoke to her, don't know if that helps) and said that if we want to start TTC in Japan, then that would be OK, as long as I get two mroe zeroes before then. Two more tests! Yahoo!
hey girls
snugglybean that's great news about zeroes and ttc soon. hope you have a fantastic time in Japan.
cj's mum - how did you go with your scans? all my bits crossed for the all clear for you.
i don't know about you guys but i just constantly feel so sad about the miscarriage, the pmp and the waiting. i'm 35 in february so my clock is ticking so loud i feel like every day that passes is tragically lost forever and bringing me that much closer to risks of complications. maybe i wouldn't mind if i was 25 or 30 and still had lots of safe years, but i was hoping to have the flexibility of even more kids after the next one if we wanted them. sadly my OB didn't seem to understand this at my last visit and basically told me to buck up and she had 4 miscarriages and now has 4 kids blah blah.
anyway sorry to have a whinge i just thought you girls would probably be the only ones who would understand. maybe i'm just premenstrual!
So, I'm back on the TTC wagon! With where I'm at in my cycle, next [last] monthly test would be before anything would show up if I was pg, so we've decided sod it and let's go for it. I could have gone either way on it, but DH was really keen.
How are you ladies going?
my scan went good (my 7 week one) i go for another scan on thursday. my new due sate as of the last scan is now 10th of june 2010. ill update with the news so there is hope. good luck to u ladies, hope ttc this month works for u
Greetings all - I wish it were under better circumstances.
Having had a miscarriage in May, I was devastated to have to have my second pregnancy removed via d&c. I found out last week that it was a partial molar.
DH wants to start ttc as soon as we're allowed to - but keeps stressing no pressure. We've been told that we only need to wait a few normal cycles before we can.
I'm torn between wanting a baby - desperately - and not wanting to put myself through this pain a third time. Any of you lovely ladies how any advice for how you've balanced these two emotions?
No advice on balancing the emotions - I have had plenty of meltdowns along the way, I promise. The wait is a bit of a blessing like that - now that I'm at the end of it, I feel strong enough to face that fear head on. There's so many other things you have to face in that waiting time, like insensitive comments, and holding other people's babies, and pregnancy announcements, and seeing pregnant people smoking/drinking/shooting up... and it was so so so hard at the time. For me I also had to go back to work in a childcare centre. So I really know now how strong I am, and I feel really ready to face the pg journey again.
You can do this. You can, and you'll be OK. Lots of people here for you when you need it
You got that right about the insensitive comments - right after the first miscarriage, a friend who knew we were trying started goading me "you're pregnant already, aren't you?". Right after I found out about losing no 2, there was a comment on my cousins facebook joking that she was going to sell her baby. That's what I find the hardest - the people who have babies, and had a comparitively easy time with the whole process and they just do not realise how lucky they are.
Snugglybean, send a little of that strength this way - I can't get over how amazing you must be.
Cookie - only advice i can give is take one day at a time - a cliche I know but I don't know how else to get through it. I've just passed halfway in my six month wait and it is dragging so badly. But i did recently imagine how it will be when I finally get to hold that perfect new baby in my arms and it made me realise i will appreciate the miracle so much more.
cj's mum - hope all still going well - i guess one good thing about all this is we get to have extra scans and see our babies earlier!
snugglybean - all the best with the ttc and hope the ski trip is/was awesome.
oh yeah and one other good thing about not being pg at Christmas - loads of seafood, ham and bubbly!!
tc
Last edited by tac; December 1st, 2009 at 12:24 PM.
: typos
tac - bottoms up on the bubbly! Have one for me - I have given up already, I'm in the "body is a temple" phase of TTC! SO many people askign me why I've given up coffee, drinking, etc. It's kinda fun because I have told everyone that we definitely can't start trying until after Japan (nobody questions it) so that takes a lot of the pressure off!
cookie - you're just as strong as me, you just can't see it yet
Dealing with other people's "easy" pregnancies has been the absolute worst for me. One girl at work whingeing about the tiniest little niggles, makes me want to go "Uncomfortable? Mate, let me make you feel uncomfortable..."
And another, even though she's been really sick, didn't plan her pg, she found out because I gave her an HPT, at 7 wks, because she couldn't afford one mg:
And DH's cousin, who is due one year from the day we found out we were expecting.
And my friend, who got drunk and slept with another friend, due a month after I would have been.
An ex-colleague, who came into our staffroom (my refuge) and started referring to the baby she was carrying as "the little b i t c h"
I had a good solid cry at every single one. I have cried a LOT. It helps.
I think that exercise helps too; I saw a counsellor who absolutely agreed with me.
My follow-up time falls into three phases:
"Clean-up phase" where I drank heaps of water, heaps of green tea, ate really "freshly" and exercised a lot until my HCG levels got to zero. "Self-destruct phase" where I did a lot of emotional processing. There was a lot of anger in me over the whole thing. I couldn't care for my body anymore - I crashed my bike, I got drunk a few times, I picked fights with people. It was like I wanted to punish my body for betraying me. "Strength phase" where I started to realise what the journey had given me, and I started picking up the pieces to get ready to start again.
I have to admit, I've been going to town on the skinless ****tail frankfurts. Craved them more than anything in October.
Fortunately I don't know anyone who is actually pregnant right now. There is a woman at DHs work who is about 5-6 weeks ahead of where I should have been. She rocks up late every morning "because she's pregnant". And keeps going on about the strange things her body is doing to her. At least I don't have to put up with that!
My hcg on Friday (16 days post d&c) was still over 2000. Maybe someone here knows if that is good/normal/ugly?
Just got back from the u/s to see if there is anything left over. It was a tv scan, as I have a retroverted uterus (cause I'm difficult!). I must have been there for a good 20-30 minutes. Never want to think about ever again after that! Apparently it was a tricky one - being only 3 weeks from my d&c my lining isn't all it could be? Or something. I didn't really begin to understand the technicalities he was going on about! He measured a few things though . Guess I'll have to wait until I can speak to my ob.
Cookie - 2000 is reasonable. It will take a while for the levels to come down. Mine took 50 days, and that is on the quick side. One warning is that your first AF after the d & c is brutal. I heard that from a few people, so thought I was prepared, but I seriously could not have imagined just how heavy it would be. I was getting up in the night to change pads.
So, my levels were
at d&c - 34000
8 days - 811
2 wks - 119
3 wks - 27
4 wks - 11
5 wks - 4.9
6 wks - 3.1
7 wks - 1.5
8 wks - <1.2
Josijo's weren't that different to mine, but both of our were really quick. My DH built a prediction model, because apparently these figures fit exactly on a power curve, which he was super-excited about (nerd )
Psychologically, I really believed I could "flush" the hcg out by drinking heaps of water and drinking green tea. Whether or not that had anything to do with my drop, we'll never know. But it did give me the feeling that I had some power over an issue I felt really out of control over.
I don't know what my hcg was to begin with - which makes it hard to understand. All I know was that at about 6 weeks it was 90-95000ish.
My ob's office called today. They said my u/s looked surprisingly good, and doesn't match up to my hcg findings. They want me to take another blood test. Then she told me the ob wants me to come in tomorrow. So now I'm worried about that. They were insistant that the ob wants me to come in AS WELL AS getting the draw done.
Cookie - it'll be fine. Be thankful that you're getting such quality care that they are squeezing you in. Really, truly, everything will be OK. Thinking of you tomorrow.
Thank you snugglybean! I am thankful for the care I'm getting from my ob. My medical care during and after K.T. left a little bit to be desired. I just wish everything were ok now, I guess. 21 days and counting til KT's edd, and I've got to deal with a 2nd loss, and whatever tomorrow may bring.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!
Thank you!
My scan showed that my uterus is completely empty, which is obviously good, but in a sad way. He's concered that my hcg last week came back so high, but as my levels weren't tested after 6 weeks (which were 95000!), it's highly possible that they got REALLY high, and it's just taking a while to come back down. Had to see the vampire again today, which will show if I've dropped or not - not that I need to tell you guys about that!
He's only willing to talk about the idea that my levels may be dropping slowly, doesn't want to start to unnecessarily paint any other picture for us until he has more information (ie: tomorrow), And then he made 50 million jokes to get our minds off where the nasty thoughts were taking us - I've come away in such a good mood!
I want my numbers back NOW!
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mg:
ever again after that! Apparently it was a tricky one - being only 3 weeks from my d&c my lining isn't all it could be? Or something. I didn't really begin to understand the technicalities he was going on about! He measured a few things though 
. Guess I'll have to wait until I can speak to my ob.
) 
It means they are a third of what they were 6 days prior.
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