why so hard for us when unfit parents keep popping them out?

[ciara.e]

I'm just having a 'poor me' day today. Wanted to vent to all you ladies who i'm sure will understand where i'm coming from, at least i hope.

I've just been talking to an old 'acquaintance' after not seeing her for many years. She was never 'all there' IYKWIM. She was telling me that she had 2 baby boys, and then was found to be an unfit parent so they were taken from her and she's only allowed one 1hr supervised visit per fortnight with these two boys. Then, she fell pregnant again and had her 3rd boy, only to lose him too. I don't know if she meant to come across this way, but she almost seemed proud of herself! And I'm absolutely shattered! I can't even express how utterly devastated that makes me feel. i mean, here we are wanting for a child... all of us ladies on this forum... obviously we would make great parents or we wouldn't be here, right? And yet it's so difficult for us. I'm just shattered. perhaps i'm just being overly emotional after my loss only a week ago, but that's my 3rd baby this year, lost, and she's sitting here thinking its humourous or something that her kids are being taken from her!

Fark this just makes me so mad! I got a christmas present from a lovely lady from my church yesterday. She got my daughter a barbie doll and pram, and she also gave me a gorgeous pair of newborn bonds booties. I obviously haven't told everyone about my loss... and that's so hard to cope with! Then to end the day with this 'catch up' with the old acquaintance... I can tell you that she's never welcome to speak to me again. Otherwise i'm afraid i'll be too harsh with her.

Aargh... thanks for letting me vent all of this frustration! I really need to get this out!

Do you think i'm overreacting?

[blessedatlast]

I know how you feel.. I have asked this question so many times over and over.. I also hate when people say we lost our babies cos 'things happen for a reason' or 'We all have lessons to learn'.. I often wonder why babies would be given abusive parents instead of me as their mummy or what lesson those poor kids have to learn.. I am feeling a bit poor me over the last couple of days too.. Life is just unfair, simple as that!

[nicjay]

No I don't think you are over reacting at all I had many of the same thoughts over my 2 years TTC our 2nd child and after my miscarriages. You are totally normal!

Take care of yourself, especially over Xmas. It is a hard time of year

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Just wanting to send some heartfelt
I am sorry you are going through this hard time.
for a sticky bubba soon.

[ciara.e]

.....people say we lost our babies cos 'things happen for a reason' or 'We all have lessons to learn'.......

That's just ridiculous isn't it. I hate hearing that too. I'm like.. are you kidding? If anyone has a lesson to learn out of this, it's those terrible people who keep having their kids taken from them! Obviously, THEY are the ones who need to learn a lesson.. otherwise they'd still have their kids. GRRR

Thanks MegsMum for your support here. Maybe it is just a bit amplified with the christmas emotions etc. I don't know. But I hope that you have a successful ttc journey. Perhaps we'll all get a great new years pressie... a BFP! Would be such a great way to begin the new year.

Dragoncookie - thanks for your support. Hugs well and truly received! Sometimes I think that's all we really need isn't it?

[*Beema*]

Oh Hun, that must have been so difficult to listen to, a child is something to be cherished, protected and loved, I feel sad that the 3 Boy's mother doesn't seem to understand the effect that she is having on these three little people. A life long impact.

And as you have just had another loss, it would be even harder to understand how a mother can seeminly be so blazae about her children. I probably wouldn't have been able to bite my tongue

You are not over reacting at all I that 2010 brings you a sticky bubba, showering you with inkdust:

[ciara.e]

Beema - you're right. She is having a life-long impact on these kids. Sad to say though, some kids are better off away from their parents to save on the severity of the impact. Grrr.

Thanks so much for your response and for your support. Fingers crossed hey.

All the best this christmas

[Inanna]

I know how hard it is to hear these things some times. People will still have babies without effort and people will lose babies without any fault of their own.

We can't measure ourselves up against that and say: "why does she have one when I don't"... For we all have a different path in this life time.

Try not to think of it that way - the woman with the 3 children taken away - she has different painful paths that her life is taking her on. Our different pains cannot be meausred against anothers.

I hope Ciara that you have your Earth baby soon - and that the new year brings joy and healing.

[ciara.e]

Thanks Inanna. You're right, I normally try to see things in that light also. i guess it's just so easy to become all consumed in your emotions or pain. Thanks so much for your kind words. You always know the right things to say!!!

Merry Christmas to all