Lady Tess I'm sorry for the loss of your little Matthew.
Are you comfortable with this OB because I'm getting the impression that you are not feeling a strong sense of trust and understanding with him and his staff. Maybe have a think about that, or maybe it's just a case of crossed wires.
A note to you and other parents orphaned by their children - there is no need to explain TTC after losing a child. You conceived your son because you wanted to share you life with another child, to watch them grow, to love them through the changes from baby, to child, to adult. Your son was born, was loved, will always be remembered. But because he passed away you were robbed of the opportunity to be with him as he grew up. It's totally normal to still want those things, even though sadly you will not be able to share those experiences with Matthew.
Hoping this is the month for you