I have been reading this forum for weeks lacking the courage and know-how to post. I am 33 years old with two lovely kids (12yo and 2yo) so when I got a BFP this past Feb. everyone just knew I was going to have a wonderful baby in November. Everyone but me. Something in me knew that I wouldn't be so lucky this time. When 12 weeks past with no issues, I finally let myself get excited. My hubby and I bought a few books to prepare our little one for having a baby in the house and started to make plans for our new arrival. On a late Thursday night I woke up in a dead panic for no reason and just knew. I watched the sun rise, made my mom breakfast (she lives with us.. post stroke at 49) and waited until I could call my OB. The nurse thought I was insane to want to come in so I went to the emergency room. They too thought I was out of my tree. Until. Three nurses, two doctors, and 2 dopplers later we were sent to ultrasound. There he was, our little Eli, measuring perfectly 16 weeks along... exactly on the money dates-wise, tiny hands, perfect round head, fingers, toes and no heartbeat.

I was induced for 6 horrible days and never dialated. My OB sent me to a "specialist" to perform a D&E. It would have been a little less traumatic if he had told me the "specialist" performed late abortions for the most part and I would be the only woman there who had an IUFD as they so kindly called it. It was the most dehumanizing experience of my life thus far. A week later I was in the ER again. This time, I had a huge clot in the ovarian vein that grew into my vena cava vein. I have been on coumadin for 6 weeks now and had to fight tooth and nail to get a thrombophillia panel run. I got a copy of the labwork today. It will be 2 weeks until the hematologist can read it for me. I am trying to keep from obcessing about it, but boy is that hard. I just want to thank you all esp. Flowerchild for the posts I have read... I actually used the one post on what tests to demand to base my tirade requesting all the tests be run.

So thats my summer in a nutshell. Can I join in your forum?

CeCe