CeCe- i am so sorry for your loss of your precious Eli. i wish no one ever had to feel the pain of loosing a baby. i too felt that sinking feeling where one knows that the world is dropping away and that nothing will ever be the same again when they couldn't find Yeti's heartbeat. i am glad you have found bb, the folks here have made such a positive difference in my life these last five months. also knowing what may have caused Eli's death may be of some comfort -- or at least of some sense of control. please take good care of yourself on this painful rollercoaster, and join in whenever it makes you feel better. xxoom