The fact that I guess I do really belong here.

A little of my story - we've been TTC for 2 years and 3 months. It is depressing when you see it set out like that. We've been going through IVF treatment for a year now, for both male and female factor infertility.

During this time we've had three miscarriages. One at just before 9 weeks, two at just on 4 weeks.

It appears that I have an odd body. I have a rheumatoid arthritis condition that is still unidentified 5 years on. I'm beginning to think of it as a case of my body just goes nuts and has an extremely exaggerated response any time there's inflammation present.

The testing I've been through doesn't really indicate much. A possible excess of NK cells. The lady I've been seeing for acupuncture and traditional chinese medicine has come to think of me as a borderline case. And the last round of testing showed exactly what she predicted - levels all within normal range, but my lupus anticoagulant tests came back only barely within the normal range.

If it were up to my acupuncture lady, considering my past history and the way my body responds to things, I'd be on clexane as part of my IVF protocol now. Unfortunately, it's impossible to find a specialist who will consider the whole picture and agree to the clexane. Even Dr S just says that I'm within normal limits and there's no need for it. They only look at the numbers and the ranges that are declared ok.

I'm already on prednisone to deal with the possible NK cell problem. I need it to keep my arthritis pain under control as well. My acupuncture lady is suggesting low dose aspirin for what looks to be a borderline lupus anticoagulant problem. Again, none of my specialists would agree that there's any need for me to be on aspirin (just like the clexane), but at least aspirin is something that I can obtain over the counter without a prescription.

It's a hard decision. On one hand you want to be able to trust your specialists to make the right decisions and recommend the right treatment for you. But on the other hand, I am the one that knows my body, knows the way it responds, and the acupuncture lady is the only one that seems to think of me as an entire body system. The fertility specialists seem to only want to think of my reproductive organs, and my rheumatologist seems to only want to think of things that directly impact joint pain. Western medicine doesn't seem to want to think about borderline states and that different numbers may mean different things for different people.

BW