Trying to Conceive after Still Birth/ Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage ~ December 2008

Yay Helen, congrats on the scan and your superlong cervix!!

Laney... where are you. Are you ok. I am starting to worry about you. Please let us know you're ok!

Diana: 15 days PG wooooohoooooooooo. I am busy trying to work out the whole CM thing. Not very good at it. Always in too much of a rush when I go to the loo!! I am either ovulating today/tomorrow or in about a weeks time.

DH and I are deciding whether to BD tonight (CD9). I did the ttc for a girl thing with Charlie and it worked and we are deciding whether to do that again this time round. Of course we don't care if we get a girl or boy as long as its healthy. I truly mean that, but is it completely uncaring of me to say it would be nice to have a girl so we have one of each. I feel morally challenged by this dilema. I know last time we decided to 'try for a girl' for one cycle and if we didn't get a BFP then next cycle we would just go hell for leather. I was thinking of approaching it the same way this time round but feel a bit guilty for doing anything that suggests we would not love to have a little boy as much as we would love a little girl which of course is not the case.

I'm seeking input from you guys... am i being a complete cow or what!!

Paula, I don't think so, we all know how much our precious baby's are wanted, I can't see anything wrong with you giving it a go to get a little girl. In the end though it's out of our control! I forgot to say that my placenta is attached to the back and low lying at this stage (hoping it moves up), but bub is facing my back which is probably why I haven't felt a load of movement. The boys were both breech from the 18wk scan onwards, but this one is transverse with the head lower, so I am crossing my fingers this time I will have a head down baby! I know it is still very early but I am really hoping.
It's so quiet in here that I am getting really nervous for Laney, please please come on and tell us about your scan, big hugs.

Helen - I am so happy to hear your scan went so well today! And yay for the cervix :clap: I would totally understand you getting nervous sooner than your next scan. I was the one who pushed my ob to let me have my last scan at 21 weeks, only 2 weeks after my morphology one and that was due to how fast things happened last time around and I wanted to check on my cervix at the same gestation as when Luke was lost. So, will your next scan work in to be roughly the same with you? It might help ease your mind if you can time it that way (or a few days before)?

Where is Laney? I am getting worried now. Hope you are just busy being happy and that you can update us soon.

Paula - you are so not being a "cow" debating the gender issue. I know that next time (gosh, if I can bring myself to go through this stress again) we would be hoping for a boy - (a) because it would be nice to have one of each grow up together, and (b) I would hate to think that Luke might be our only son. I can't really explain that too well but hopefully you know what I mean. Of course you will love each child no matter what gender they turn out to be but at the same time I don't think we have to justify our feelings about this just because we have lost a child. Those who haven't get to debate the issue and openly admit to wanting a particular gender and we can too. I think though that we will all (or currently do) cherish our little ones just a little more than those who have never walked in our shoes if that makes sense. Gee hope that hasn't sounded offensive to anyone as I didn't mean it like that :redface:

Theresa I am sorry I didn't congratulate you in my last post on your engagement! So, CONGRATULATIONS!!! What a great start to your year and hopefully the first of much happiness to come your way as the year goes on.

Diana - yay for the 15 days pg. All this talk of doing the deed - can't remember the last time DH and I got jiggy! :lol: We were watching something on tv last night and a sexy scene came on and I looked at DH and said "maybe someday we will get to do that again". Sigh...so you girls TTC, go for it!!

Sending a massive hello to everyone else and sorry to those I missed. I am sitting up to type this which is a change and my back is now killing me. I'll be back tomorrow to let you all know how my u/s goes.

x

theresa- congrats on your engagement i can remember how excited i was when dh and i got engaged.
helen- yahoo for a great scan

afm we are just enjoying dtd without any pressure of ttc at the moment :D. I think poor dh never thought that this time would come again. Still waiting for af to come which will all happen in good time.angellukesmum can totally relate to the one day comment as i bled through most of my pregnancy we never really ever had the chance to dtd. Well i'm looking at going back to work again next week at the moment not sure if i will return to my old job or if it is time for a fresh start somewhere, am looking at maybe getting a less manual job so that when we do start ttc again i wont have to worry about what i can and can't do especially if we have to go down the ivf track again. i guess i will wait and see. big belly rubs to all the pregnant girl and fingers crossed for the girls ttc.

Hi Ladies, sorry that I didn't post lastnight. Thank you for thinking of me. Yesterday was pretty emotional for me and I tried to spend it relaxing. The appt was okay, not great. Our little man was wiggling and kicking through the whole thing (and playing with his little boy parts). It was too difficult for the doctor to really tell me if he was behind in growth or not. Some things measures ahead a few days and some things measured behind a few days. All of the measurements added up to being right around my due date. He has been ahead a few days in most of the recent scans so it does worry me. To me, I see that as he is behind a couple of days in growth, deffinitly not a week like I had feared. My doctor said that he measured perfectly and there is no way at this point to be exact with measurements but it is difficult for me to feel so positive yet. My doctor pretty much yelled at me and said that he is measuring exact with the early and most accurate scan. I have another scan in 2 weeks. That scan will tell us more. I really wanted a clear YES he is growing great but the office scans are not the most accurate. I guess I just have to wait it out and worry a little more.


Jo, I am so glad that you are feeling up to posting. I have really missed you in here. I just hope that you and DH are really ready to be pregnant again when it happens for you. I will warn you that the third time is much much harder than the second for me. The depression has hit me pretty hard and a lot of my relationships have suffered. I think you need to spend some time away with just your DH so you can recover from such a difficult time of year.

Hey Girls, I've been lurking for a while and thought it was time I made my presence known! :)

Jo, I was just reading your post about your SIL smoking while she was pg and i completely sympathise with you. It's absolutely heart wrenching when so many people do things they aren't supposed to when they are pregnant and still get away with it, yet others (like all the people here!) do everything by the book and still have their hearts broken. After I had Jayvan I walked out of the hospital and pretty much tripped over a pregnant woman sucking on a fag, If DF wasn't with me I would have took her out I was so furious.
I hope everything has calmed down for your since chrissy, I must say mine wasn't all that flash either ^^;;

Good luck to everyone TTC in 09! I truely hope we're all blessed with precious little christmas presents this year :pink-babydust:

hey guys!
quick early morning post from me as i had to dive on before i left for work.
Laney - i understand the frustration at not having what you want in better confirmation but it does sound like things are ok! So please breath a mini sigh a relief! (and i know you'll continue to hold your breath anyway!!) I agree with the depression part -i am sure it has been a big part of me hitting a wall over christmas. i thought i was just so sad but then one day i was just like this has to be something greater than just being sad -i have never felt anything like it before.
So that is probably part of my nervousness going again -eventhough i want to. Confidence has been shot and all i know now is pregnancy = heartbreak but i will keep you all updated on the decision DFH and I make. Jan is most likely out for TTC anyway as that would (hopefully) result in a 3rd baby born in Oct and honestly it is hard enough with 2 already. But maybe jan conception is a lucky month for us, who knows! I still have AF so its a no go right now anyway. DS has still been talking about us having another baby and where he would sit in the car if i did. I even had to read "where did i come from?" to him and DD the other night in the cubby house and they then wanted to watch a birth video to see for themselves and onto youtube we went. DS was quite disappointed there were no "screams" as i have told him labour hurts but they were quite fascinated all the same. It was an interesting night. But again, still surprised that a baby is on his mind almost as much as it is on mine, esp when we don't talk about TTC in front of them.
Teagz - glad you posted, although i get the lurking thing too! i wanted to rip my brothers girlfriends eyeballs out i was so upset and angry but saying or doing anything would have caused a really ugly situation. And worse, she is a really lovely person otherwise. hope you find us a supportive bunch in here and i second your 2009 wish!!
hammi - sorry AF reared her ugly head!!! january here you come!!!
hgirs -happy your ultrasound went well! and you got some answers!
paula - no your not a cow! we know what you mean!
gotta go girls! am about 15mins behind schedule! oops!
xxjo

Laney, I know you wanted a positive YES but the news is good. I know it must be very hard to remain positive but so far, so good. I'm certain your next scan will go fabulously and then you can relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Got everything crossed for you.

Helen, absolutely fabulous news about your nice long cervix. You must be so relieved.

Paula, I am obsessed with the CM thing but since losing Sebastian, my cycles are so off the planet and I hardly get any CM whereas before Sebastian, my cycles were very regular and CM came in abundance (sorry TMI). I'm soooo confused. I don't think you are a cow at all. We all know you will love your next baby no matter what. Secretly I am hoping for another boy.

Jo, can't wait to hear from you today to see how your cervix is holding up. Now about BD, I'm not sure about the rest of you, but it does become a bit of chore when TTC doesn't it? Or is it just me? I mean I really love "getting jiggy with it" but I just get over it sometimes and want that spontaneity back! Anyone else feel the same?

Hello Teagz.

Jo76, I am sending positive TTC vibes and thoughts your way along with Paula, Lan, Megan, Beata, Theresa, Dee and myself of course! Have I missed anyone?

Hello to all you other lovelies x

I'm going to use up some of your knowledge for a second girls, as I am utterly confused. Get ready for a little bit if TMI,=)

I gave birth to our Bub Jayvan on the 11/12, a week later (18/12) I had to go back to hospital for a D&C as part of the placenta hadn't come away during the birth.
I had a dr's appt on Monday and he said that I should be getting close to having a visit from AF, BUT by me I only ovulated Saturday/Sunday just gone and then Monday I have started having some really light bleeding, varying from bright red to a sort of browny colour. Well, I don't really know what I'm asking now:redface:
I guess basically all I wanted to know is if this was normal, whichI know our cycles can be a bit all over the place. Or if this has happened to anyone else, and if my late ovulation is going to a problem with conceiving again. Pretty much any first hand info I can get my hands on as I'm new to all this and I don't feel very well informed about what's happening with my body at the moment.

Hi ladies,

firstly, Laney your scan sounds just about identical to my 18-19 week one. I have all the screen shots and just looked up all the measurements, some were 4 days behind EDD (and I know when I OV'd) and some were 4 days ahead, leading to up to an 8 day disprecency which is COMPLETELY NORMAL!! The measurements are all based on averages and no baby is the same so variation ahead and behind will happen to most bubs. I can understand you wanting the doc to say 'what a big boy!' and that you'll worry about anything and everything (I know I do), but honestly, it really does sound perfectly normal and fine. Try and relax and know you'll get more reassurance in 2 weeks time.

Welcome Teagz. I agree, some people just don't have their priorities in order when it comes to having babies. I heard other women complaining bitterly about getting cellulite during pregnancy. aaagg.

Paula, don't feel bad about wanting a girl... I will be happy either way though I sort of hope for a boy (even though first time round I really wanted a girl) I think it's natural to have preferences but you know yourself you'll love the baby equally no matter what. Also, if you're interested in OPKs there's a lot of info as to how they work on the net, I found them useful for me as they did pinpoint O and I could correlate them to my chart.

Helen, congrats on the great scan and looong cervix!!!

Lan, I've sometimes thought that if this pregnancy goes perfect I'd like to be one of those women who has only one U/S at 20 weeks and just spends the rest of the pregnancy relaxing and not worrying... but I don't think it's realistic for me, I would just worry too much! I think dating scan, 12 week and 20 week is about the minimum I could do.

Well ladies I've had a nasty couple of days :( On monday night we were making dinner and I started to feel ill very suddenly, couldn't eat much and had to go to bed. Got up the next day and felt worse, vomiting and had a headache. So I went into medical and after ages (I thought everyone was back from holidays but no!) the doc said it was probably just the heat (though I work in AC) and to take the rest of the week off and rest. So i spent pretty much all day in bed yesterday plus a full night's sleep (can't remember when I've had that much sleep!!) but I still feel a bit shaky. Thankfully I had a scan and a MW appt today anyway, so though it was unpleasant to drag myself to the hospital it was good for the reassurance.

The scan was great, bub is getting so big and chubby!!! She said it's growing beautifully, blood flow is still good (big relief), cervix long but she said it's still too early to see the state of the scar, so the birth is still a big question mark. The MW said as long as I can keep fluids down things should be fine.

Funny thing is the head circumference size was 2 weeks 3 days ahead, and last night I dreamt I had a girl by C-section and she had a massive head!!! In average bub is measuring 4 days ahead (though I never change the dates as I know when I O'd) so all is going really well.

Anyway, I'm off to bed again. It's going to be 36 today, I'm so glad we put in evaporative cooling last year, otherwise I think I would have gone to work and just curled up under my desk!!!

Love Rozzie

Teagz, just missed your post. With me my doc told me I'd bleed for a couple of weeks then get AF after 6, well I bleed for almost 6 weeks and got AF after over two months, and conceived on that cycle. I'm usually very regular too, so I think it is dependant entirely on the person and you can only observe and try when you think it's the right time. Things will settle down soon in all probability.

Good luck!

Rozzie, Hmm, my Dr's has said I should have AF shortly and it's only been about 4 weeks since I had Jayvan. After the D&C I only bled for a week. Perhaps his shortly is 2 weeks away still :) I'll just have to show a bit of patiences I guess!
Yeah, I must admit I was one of the people that complained about ms, and how tired I was all the time. I do really feel that I took what I had for granted and I'll regret it forever.
Next time I'm gong to embrace it with both hands and thank my lucky stars. ;)

Dear all,

Firstly Helen - Congratulations on your scan and long cervix..... yippee I am so so happy for you.

Teagz - welcome to this forum. I know of you from the BB May Forum and know of your story. Again I am so sorry for your loss and these girls are absolutely fabulous here and are full of information.

Jo (Lukes Mum) - fingers crossed for a great scan today. Will be thinking of you.

Paula, please dont feel bad about wanting a girl. Secretly we also wanted a girl, though we didnt mind what we are given, but there was a little hope there for a girl.

Laney - I agree with the girls. I think you got a great result from the scan. At the 20 weeks scan, mine was similar. I was looking at the screen and some measurements were a few days behind, but some were a few days ahead. Though they never said anything to me, and they pronounced that everything was within normal range.

Rozzie - keep cool and rest. You poor thing. I must admit, in Adelaide the weather hasnt been too bad, but the hotter weather has hit me as well. Just trying to drink lots and lots of water. Great news about the scan and bubs looking chubbier. I am not sure if I am going to get another scan. I think the Ob is trying to treat me like anybody else and hopefully it will stop me from stressing - goodluck on that one!!!.

Jo76 - :hug: for you. Your kids sound amazing....

Big hello to dd0207.

xxx Sue xxx

Teagz, welcome to our little group, so sorry you have to be here. In regards to your cycle, I don't really think your Dr can give you a timeframe, I was told most people return to a cycle 4-6 wks after, but up to 12 is still considered normal. I got my first period and it was really light at about 10wks, I was getting close to making an appt to check things out as my GP had said she would do some tests if I didn't have them back by 12wks. My next cycle was normal and on the 3rd we fell pregnant again. It is so hard to be patient, but your body will return to normal when it wants too, unfortunately not when we want it too!

Laney - glad your scan was within the 'normal' ranges, we were all starting to get worried for you! At my scan yesterday, I had a bit of a moment too, in the fact that about half of bubs measurements came in close to a week behind and some where in front, some spot on, but it still says that measurements are consistent with dates. I think like Rozzie said all babies are just different and they have to average it out, I know it still doesn't probably help to ease your fears after everything you have been through, but hopefully you will get the more concise answer at your next scan. But it really does look good. Big hugs.

teagz, i had chloe on the 11-11-08 via c/s and didn't really bleed at all after that a little spotting for a couple of days then about 2wks later had light spotting again with red and brown discharge this only lasted a day then again about 2wks later. Today i have got af again so it has been 8 wks roughly for me.

Oh I am so relieved to hear from Laney and Helen.

Laney, I'd want a guarantee engraved in a metal plaque too but what Rozzie said makes things sound a bit more reassuring. Two more weeks then we'll do a dance? Was the scan that clear that you could see him playing with his winkie? Amazing!

Helen, I'm soooooo happy. I was thinking of you last night and was worried because you hadn't posted yesterday but here you are and everything is good. Wheeeee!

Rozzie, one of my friends who is due a few weeks before you told me that she just got her morning sickness back so maybe that's what happened with you? The growth that the baby undergoes from now on is quite massive, isn't it? I LOVE it that you can see the baby's chubbiness. Oh I can't wait for him/her to be born and for me to get a cuddle.

Teagz, I didn't have a D&C but I'm pretty sure I bled for over 4wks then got my period about two weeks later. I'm sorry for the loss of your boy and I hope your body regulates so you can start TTC again soon.

Jo76, no one can blame you for losing confidence in pregnancy after the loss of your two little ones. I hope you will decide to TTC this cycle and I wish that October will bring you another healthy baby. Did you get my SMS? I have a new phone and am a bit spacky with it.

Paula, I see no cowness in you wanting a girl. I didn't know that the timing method actually worked but I hope it does for you! I've always liked little girls then I had Hamish and now I want a boy for sure. Our kids can date :-)

Diana, I'm with you on being over the scheduled TTC-ing activities. DH wants to go with the mood but I'm too much of a control freak to let things be.

Hi everyone... oh, we haven't heard how our girl, Anna Francis, enjoyed her first Christmas yet have we?

Hi girls,

Thought I would check to see if there is a post from Jo and seeing how she went with her u/s.

Though the BB system has been down. Will check later.

xxx Sue xxx

Hi girls

Very frustrating that the system has been down as am very anxious to hear from Jo.

Teagz, sorry for your loss and welcome to our group. I lost my little boy early July and didn't get a proper period until end of August and I had 2 curettes for retained placenta products during that time. My cycle still hasn't regulated completely so don't despair just yet. This is where we learn the fine art of patience I'm afraid. Fingers crossed your cycle gets back to normal soon so you can join us on the TTC journey.

Lan, I'm such a control freak too and because I don't really know when I ovulate, I annoy DH from about day 10 until day 23 or so. I think he must be the only man in the world that is getting sick of having sex!

Rozzie, you poor darling. I hope you're feeling better soon. Pop into the doctor if you still feel lousy :comfort:

Hello to everyone else. Hope you are all doing well.

Hi girls. This is me, about to *****. I'm a bit absent this week. Like Rozzie, I suddenly feel like death warmed over. Funny that Rozzie may be feeling bad from the heat, because my theory about myself is that the sudden cold has been the last straw. We've been hovering around freezing for several weeks now, but Sunday and Monday were suddenly -17 C and windy and even our radiators couldn't keep up so it was chilly in the house. We couldn't avoid going out either. This is on top of continued sinus problems that make me feel like I'm constantly choking, lots of round ligament pain and a sudden burst of symphus pubus pain -- the only thing that doesn't hurt is lying very very still on my left side with carefully arranged pillows -- and then there's plenty of emotional turmoil right about now, for all kinds of reasons. I've been crying so much the last two days that the skin around my eyes is raw from wiping. I spent so much time sleeping yesterday that I think I totalled 6 hours awake, mostly just getting fed and massaged by DH! Today is my first day back at work after the long Xmas vacation, so motivation is, shall we say, low...

Hi ladies
Well I am home! :)
My scan was great - bubs is measuring fine; parts of her a little behind, parts ahead so I think all added up she is probably measuring spot on. The sonographer was lovely and even got us a 4D image of her face - oh my gosh, once I saw that I began crying and it really made me realise just how much all of this is worthwhile. The image was so good and we could see her little nose (I think she has mine) and she had her hand up to her mouth. So cute!
Anyway the most important news was that my cervix has grown - up to 3cm now and still looking great, nice and closed and no funnelling or changes that could be seen when bubs head was butting against it (stay away baby!). So I am allowed home but will still be on mostly bedrest here for a few weeks yet. I see my ob again next Wed and have another scan next Friday to keep an eye on my cervix and make sure home bedrest is working.

Teagz - welcome to the group and sorry to hear of your loss. My first AF arrived about 6 weeks after we had Luke & then my cycles were kind of all over the place after that. Anywhere from 23 days to about 38 days but using OPK's and temping I could verify that I was ovulating so I wasn't too worried about it.

Laney - I am so happy to hear your scan went well and I think it sounds like everything is spot on for now! But I know you wanted to hear something more definite than that - hopefully your next scan can bring you some peace and confidence.

Rozzie - sorry to hear you have been sick. Nothing worse ugh! Great news about your scan though!

I just realised that while I have been typing about 3 or 4 of you have jumped on so I will have a read and post more personals later. I was trying to log on for ages earlier trying to let you all know how I went. Very frustrating! x

Oh Jo! I am so happy your cervix has grown and how wonderful that you were able to go home. I am in tears. Now take it easy and do nothing! Baby girl, stay away from mummy's cervix!! You did so good and WOO HOO to your cervix!

Tildy, you poor darling. So sorry you have been feeling so emotional and I really hope you feel better soon. I am glad DH is spoiling you, you certainly deserve it.

Hi Girls,

Welcome home Jo, glad that things are going really well for you, that's fantastic news :dance:. It must have been so nice to see the 4D image of your little girl, technology is really amazing isn't it. take care of yourself.

Laney, I agree with the girls, it sounds like little one is growing fine, I am sure this will be confirmed at your next scan.

Rozzie, take care of yourself, glad to hear that bubs is getting nice & big, really good news.

Helen, great news on your scan as well - Lots of good news on scans this week. :dance:

Diana, I know what you mean about getting a bit over DTD, we are in for a 10-day marathon - LOL- as I'm getting close to O.

Paula, I completley understand about you wanting a girl, as the others have said, we know what you mean!

Jo76, I can understand you wanting to miss Jan :comfort:.

Teagz, welcome to our group, I am so sorry for your loss, I can understand that you are anxious for AF to come, so was I! I blead for 3 wks, then AF came 2 weeks after that. I also got quite a bit of spotting that first cycle and a bit more on my 2nd. Our bodies do take a while to return to normal. Good luck with TTC this year and take care of yourself.

Someone asked about my blood test timing, we should get the results in about 2-3 wks time. As the likelihood is really really low, we are confident to TTC this month. The geneticist said that people with this 'gene' abnormality usually are in his words 'were not good at school', so I am hoping that doesn't include me or DH - you have to laugh.

Good luck to all the Jan TTCers, fingers crossed. :D

Take care

Thanks for all your advice chickies! Looks like it's all about pateince, which I have about naught of! Good things come to those who wait I guess.

Don't ya hate it when the BB system is down?

I'm still trying to cotton on to what's going on with everyone so sorry for not doing any personals just yet :)

DD0207, I keep telling DF that he'll get sick of sex once we get all our tests back for what went wrong with Jayvan and the all clear from our Dr to start TTC again, he won't have a word of it! :P We'll just have to wait and see!

Laney, Rozzie, Helen, AngelLukesmum - Congrats to all the good scan results.I am keeping fingers and toes crossed for you all.

Tildy Huge :hug: to you. I hope you are feeling better xxx

Thanks again for all the well wishes with my engagement. It is the first time in 5 months that I have felt happy.

Welcome Teagz. Sorry for your loss but the ladies here are wonderful and a great support. You will find comfort and understanding here.

Well AF was due today but has not shown up. I was getting a little excited but then started to get a few cramps this evening. However still no AF so I am still holding on to a little hope.

DF got annoyed with me when I said I would be able to test in a week or so if AF hadn't arrived. He said I was thinking too much about it and it will never happen if I don't relax and not think about it all the time. I was rather hurt and upset by this as he knows all I want is a baby to love and cherish. Maybe he is just as frustrated as I am as every month we go through the same thing with a negative result.

Maybe I am thinking too much but if I don't - we will never get the timing right?!?!? I am so confused - do I or don't I?!?!? I also have a sore throat and have been sneezing all day so I feel a little defalted after such a wonderful surprise at the start of the week.

Anyway - best get off to bed as I have to work tomorrow and I can't yawn all day like I did today :asleep:

Just wanted to P.S. my post to say that I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings by complaining about pregnancy symptoms -- I know that a lot of you might be feeling "I want to have pain in my pelvis, too!" But I think you guys understand me. :)

Theresa, even though I am not much in the mood for personals in general right now, I didn't want to miss congratulating you on your engagement. I know it wasn't the super romantic Hollywood romance film dramatic proposal you got, but trust me -- I would give my left foot to have gotten the proposal that you got! My DH is a lot better at putting his foot in his mouth than at putting his heart on his sleeve.

Speaking of which... I just got home from our first session of couple's counseling. :P That's why I've been a wreck the last two days, anticipating this meeting and going over and over and over what I might say in my head. I weeped a lot more today too of course, both all morning at work and during the session. But it felt quite positive and we got to feel like we're actually doing most things right, even if we are going back and going to work on the stuff we're doing wrong. But when we made the next appointment, trying to work it around midwife and gyn appointments and birthing classes and meetings with the special needs group from the maternity ward and the special "moms and babies" program I'm going to be a part of after the birth and my own grief counselor that I'm still seeing since we lost Beiron and chiropractor appointments... I just laughed and said "I barely stay at work for 4 hours a day lately! I don't have time to be pregnant and depressed!"

Stupid computers stuff! I got on last night and saw that heaps you guys were on and posted and it didn't work. Hisssssssssssss!

Tildy, you're allowed to complain as much as you like. I sympathise but I also get a little snigger thinking "Tildy's super big preggers!". I'm not sniggering about you being upset though. Tildy, the way you lost Beiron was so horrific and still beyond my comprehension so it is no wonder that that you are feeling that loss again and again throughout this pregnancy.

Congrats Jo on your growing cervix. Can you post your little girl's pict up? I'd love to see her little face. Will you be able to write more often from home?

Theresa, sometimes I want to slap people when they say to be relaxed and not think about TTC too much. How? I'd love to just give birth to a healthy baby one day and go "gee, never realised I was even pregnant!" but my every mental faculty is focused on what my body is doing and where I am in my cycle. My DH does say things like yours too. I guess it's their way of dealing with it. Well, fingers crossed for you to get our first BFP of 2009!

Work is such a bore!

Oh Tildy, you have had a rough trot, I didn't realise you were going to couples counseling, good on you! I hope it has helped. Seriously though you sound so busy, take care of you.
Theresa - Your DH sounds just like mine! They really don't understand, most people don't, it is all we think about, it's like telling someone not to breath you'll be OK. I really hope AF doesn't show up for you, the first of our 2009 preggie's!
Jo - I am so glad your home! When the nurse said people in your situation don't go home, I thought what a stupid statement, people do! There is another lady on another site that has just had her baby at 30+wks (still early I know, but) she was hospitalised at 23wks at 3cm dilated, managed to stay stable was allowed out of hospital to Ronald Mcdonald and was hoping to go home at 32wks, but bub came the day after being let out of hosp! My next scan is 1 week before Cooper was born, which is right about when I wanted to have it, I feel like if I can get through the next month and the scan is all good, things will be OK.

Berry, you do have to laugh about what the doctor said. What a strange statistic though. There are millions and millions of uneducated people that have had healthy babies. I am so glad that you and DH are not in that category and you can start TTC. So when does the marathon begin for you?

Teagz, I hope DH doesn't get sick of it. At least one of us has to be in the mood or imagine the flop (literally) in the boudoir. :lol:

Theresa, sounds like most of us get the same lecture from our partners but how can we not think about it when it all comes down to timing??? :wall: It aint gonna happen dear husbands unless we BD when we notice EWCM!! He thinks I'm totally mad so I confuse him with our lingo (which is very amusing) to the point that he just shuts up and goes with it. They are on another planet when it comes to this stuff.
Now as for your AF not showing up - stay away b*tch!!! It would be fabulous to get the first of many BFPs this year! Everything is crossed for you :pray:

Tildy, didn't realise you were going to counseling either. I really hope you get the best from it and your life with DH is blissfully happy and loving and complete when Kebab arrives. We all understand your emotions and please don't think you are being selfish. Life will never be the same for us after the loss of our beautiful angel babies and I am sure we will have many emotional outbursts over the years. As Helen said, take care of yourself and try to slow down a little where possible.

Hi Jo, so how was sleeping in your own comfy bed last night? Just wanted to ask when you were in hospital, were you allowed to get up to go to the loo and shower or was it potty and sponge bath?

Morning to everyone else. Have a lovely day.

Zacharys Mum - When i was preg with Jayvan (before I knew it) I had cramping and thought AF was on it's way and it never showed up. Dr's say the uterus does cramp as it's stretching. I'm crossing everything for you that you'll get a BFP next week!!! :)
A friend of my mums gave me a lecture about "not trying to hard" and to just have fun with each other along the way to TTC, but I know what you mean! When you want a baby so bad it's all you can think about and you can't control it even if you wanted to.
And also congrats on your engagement! Your proposal sounds similar to what DF did to me (in a goofy "I'm nervous as hell" sort of way!)
He had put my engagement ring on top of my mobile phone and rang it, when I went to get up to answer I found the ring on top and walked back out into the lounge room to find him sitting on the couch with a big grin on his face, all he said was "So, will ya?" :P
It was cute and so down to his character I'm glad he didn't do the down on one knee thing :)

DD0207 - You're right.. that could cause some problems! :lol:

This morning I woke up in a bit of a daze and ran my hand over my stomach only to be a bit shocked to discover that it was flat - Which woke me up properly and I thought "well d'er". I would have been 22 weeks pregnant tomorrow and I keep imagining my belly in it's various stages of growth.:redface: I should probably quit the countdown.

ok will see if this pic works. its a bit blurry cause i have had to take a pic of the pic :redface:

http://i456.photobucket.com/albums/q...7/th_24wk2.jpg

thanks for all your wishes. i am typing half propped up so will try and come back later for personals x

Jo, she is gorgeous. It is such a beautiful image, thanks for sharing. She is definitely going to be a knock-out. Tell DH to start getting ready for all those boys that will come knockin' ! Have you chosen a name or is it a secret?

Congrats AngelLukesmum, you guys must be so proud :)
Those 3D scans are unreal, aren't they? I'm definately having one with next bub, even though I have to travel 2.5 hours to get to one!

I have just found out, that it's common for some people to have light spotting when they ovulate... So looks as though AF may still be a couple of weeks away for me yet, bugger it!

Thanks for all your kind words of comfort. At least I know it is a common reaction in men! I was blessed the day I found this website and all you girls. It is funny how total strangers can have such an important impact on your life - in a positive way at that :D

I know I have said it before but I will say it again - you girls have been my tower of strength (as well as DF) through this whole journey and I can't thank you all enough. I can only pray that you all get the BFP's you so deserve and the beautiful babies you all long for. That is my wish for 2009. :bluedust::pink-babydust:

Theresa xxxx

Were there more scans this week? We've had Laney, Helen and Jo with all good results. For some reason I thought that Rozzie's having one too?

Theresa, you are more than welcome. You're right, this site is a lifesaver, specifically, all the wonderful women on this thread.

Nothing new with me. CD9 today. Baby dust for me! And Diana, and Paula... who was the other TTC-er? Megan, right?

Oh Theresa, when do you test????

Hey Ladies

Not happy Jan, I read all your posts at work yesterday but didn't have my login details so I wrote out all my personals to bring home and put in... then stupid idiot forgot to bring home the paper didn't she!!

Anyway, in short congrats on all the great scans, Laney you scared us, Jo I am so glad you are home and your cervix is behaving and Helen what a great result! Did I miss anyone, I'm going off the top of my head...

Teagz: I don't think I've welcome you yet. Congrats on becoming a mother even if it was under the saddest of circumstances. Your love for him shines through in your posts. I really feel like this group has helped me develop a relationship with Charlie because her existence is so validated here where it perhaps isn't elsewhere. Hopefully we can help you grow your relationship with Jayvan so you conitnue to feel a strong connection with him.

This is just a quick post to update on the ttc progress... CD13 today. DH and I were supposed to BD last night but it was a really hot and sticky night and neither of us were in the mood. We are trying to avoid sex for the sake of it and keep at least a little passion going.

Weird though, I haven't had my CD10 temp spike like the last few cycles so now am really not sure when OD is. Its great because I think it means I am finally 100% normal re the progesterone thing and everything because my whole cycle has been so spot on. Bad though because I was predicting OD to be closer to CD16 or 17 so now the whole trying for a girl things is out the door I think! Oh well, probably doesn't work anyway.

I'm not sure who it was but someone was saying that they'd lost a boy and didn't want that to be the only son they had. I kind of feel like that about Charlie. I have my son and an angel daughter and it makes me so sad that it might be the only daughter I get. And then I feel bad because I feel like I'm being ungrateful for having her at all. Wow we really are programmed to be guilty trippers aren't we!!

Gotta run girls. Thinking of you all, all the time and I agree totally with Zach's Mum about you lot... legends!!

love
Paula
xox

Morning girls

It is very quiet in here isn't it?

Theresa, any news... when will you test?

Lan, looks like you will be beginning your BD marathon . It's our month, I know it. Blowing lots of baby dust to you!

Paula, good to hear you're normal :) Sorry but can't really add anything to the charting stuff so am just going to blow lots of baby dust your way too.

I'm on CD 18 today but weird things are happening. I hate not being on meds as my cycle is so whacko without them. Sorry in advance for TMI but have had pinkish spotting for about 5 days now (only when I wipe, again sorry for TMI) and have had no CM at all to date. This happen to anyone before?

I agree too.. you are all amazing, wonderful, beautiful, supportive legends!

Lots of love

Theresa, I agree as well! The last couple of days I've felt a bit down but coming on here and seeing you girls cracking the occassional joke and being so positive lightens my spirit after everything that you's have all been through :) This little community is a life saver!

dd0207, I'm *still* having really light pink bleeding with no CM now. Sat/Sun i had some CM and then bleeding started Monday with a little but now there isn't any CM at all. I've never had this kind of bleed so I'm not entirely sure what's happening either!

MrsRobbo, thanks for the welcome! I am glad I found this little place because it does make you feel like it's ok to aknowledge and love our little angels. Alot of my friends don't understand the full impact of the situation and I get the impression that because I hadn't known Jayvan physically they think I shouldn't be as upset as I am. Thankfully I have an amazing mum and DF otherwise I don't think I could have kept getting out of bed the last month :)

AFM, I'm feeling a bit guilty/hopefull this morning. Last night DF and I got a bit carried away DTD and forgot contraception. Guilty being our Dr said to wait at least for the tests results to come back explaining what happened to Jayvan so they can make sure it wouldn't happen again (although he *DID* say if I got pregnant between now and then it wouldn't be a big deal as I'm going to be monitored closly anyway for my next pregnancy) and I was also asked to atleast wait for my next AF. But, I'm hoping that I may get a little 09 miracle. I'm such a sap XD

Hi everyone

Paula - are you able to include the link to your ff chart in your sig so we can stickybeak as you go? I love looking at charts for some weird reason :redface:

I'm really excited for all your girls TTC and can't wait to see who will announce the first BFP! This will be a big year for all of us I am sure.

I hope that us pg girls chatting pg stuff in here doesn't upset anyone TTC. There is a pg area but it seems none of you chat in there very much which is how I ended up in here. I certainly don't get the feeling anyone minds the mix but I just wanted to put that out there.

Diana - can't help you on the spotting question. I have heard that some women can spot when they ov but 5 days seems to be a bit long for that so not sure what might be going on there. You aren't charting are you? Oh and in answer to your earlier question about my bedrest in hospital, I was allowed to get up to shower and go to the toilet. Now that I am at home I am probably sitting up a little more than before but am trying to avoid walking around too much and I'm trying to lie down as much as I can. I don't want to end up back in hospital!

Hammi I think you are right that Rozzie was also having a scan this week -hope all went well.

Tildy - I hope you are feeling a bit better. Ugh your cold weather sounds nasty. BIG difference to here in Sydney!

Teagz - I found myself counting down the weeks too as time went on after I lost Luke so it isn't an unusual thing. I felt a great sense of relief once Lukes EDD had passed as then I was able to look at other pg women and not think "that should be me". I felt a great sense of grief not only for Luke but also for not being pregnant anymore which was a little unexpected.

Time to lie down again so sending everyone else a big hi - hope you all have a great Friday! x

Hi ladies,

I have been having a nasty week :( After going to the doctor on Tuesday and feeling a bit better on Wednesday, on Wednesday night things got worse and I kept vomiting. We'd seen the midwife on wednesday and she said if I couldn't keep fluids down I'd have to go into hospital. That night I kept throwing up after eating/drinking. When I'd finished Alec would have this look on his face, half concern half sort of parental consternation (looking back now it's kind of funny!!) finally late at night I was able to keep some water down, lucky as I was exhausted and REALLY did not want to get dressed and go to hospital, I just wanted to sleep. Anyway, I haven't been throwing up but I still feel absolutely drained, can't eat much and can't stay on my feet more than a couple of minutes. It must just be a virus, I really hope I'm better by Monday.

I did have a scan, I thought I posted about it already? Baby is now estimated to weigh 1250g, scary!!!

I also hope no-one minds us preggos staying in here. I post in both but I feel like I've known the ladies here longer and also I feel like the TTC journey doesn't end with a BFP, and I hope that when all the TTCers here get theirs they'll continue to share the journey with the rest of us.

I'm afraid I don't have the energy for the personals I'd like to write now, but I just wanted to say to Theresa about the whole 'relax and it will happen' advice... good advice if you can follow it isn't it!!! I always thought that when the time came to try we would just 'see what happens' but it doesn't seem to work that way, especially when you have trouble like we did (tried for almost a year first time before I had endo removed). FF says that there is no evidence that thinking a lot about conceiving actually prevents conception, and that all evidence says that having a good awareness of your fertile time and BD during that time is the best way to get pregnant fast. I know in my first cycle after our loss I was OBSESSED with it, charting, OPKs etc... I was at home with nothing else to do, and used to look up charts similar to mine... maybe I was just bored hehe, anyway I still got pregnant anyway so it didn't affect my fertility luckily!!

I think it might be back to bed with me now, going to be a fun weekend.

Love Rozzie

ok girls, I think my signature has the link to my chart. don't pay too much attention to the CM stuff though, I'm kind of making it up. The temps are accurate but I get confused by the CM. I sit there in the loo staring at it with such intensity trying to figure out if it is watery or eggwhite... to be honest I don't really know the difference. Last night it was a little bit claggy and I was confused and then today I think I'm back to eggwite... it really is a bit too hard for my slow brain to handle!!