Trying to Conceive after Still Birth/ Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage ~ December 2008

Hi Girls

I have been away from the computer during the festive season and this is my first peek since the 23rd or something. What a ****ty time of year it is for all of us. So may tears over the last few days but thankfully I have DS who was so excited about xmas that it was a healthy distraction for all of us. I asked DH as we lay in bed on xmas night how he had felt during the day and he said at one point he was swimming in the pool and as he came up he hear a voice call out 'daddy'. Our son wasn't with him so it wasn't him. He said he just knew it was our little girl and he felt like his heart would explode. He made a lovely toast at lunchtime expressing gratitude for having our son with us and rememberance of the fact we don't have our daughter. It was very emotional but in a good way because everyone was sensitive enough to share in our mixed emotions. unlike a lot of you we are blessed with really supportive family who for the most part miss our little girl almost as much as we do.

On another note I have been wanting to share an experience I had just before xmas. I went to see a psychic. I have been thinking about it for awhile and finally did it. It was quite amazing. She was so spot on with what she said and picked up on some really specific stuff without any input from me at all. I wasn't a skeptic or anything but I am a pretty suspicious person by nature. I wont' bore you all with the details but she did ask me at one point how many children I had because up until this point she had only mentioned my son. I wasn't sure how to answer and just as I said 1 she said I can see a little girl who keeps popping up. I explained that my daughter had died earlier in the year and she was adamant that it wasn't Charlie but another girl. She said the baby was linked to September 2009 either a BFP or a birth. If it is a birth then I can be expecting a BFP sometime in the next month!! She was adamant that the pregnancy would go fine and I wouldn't have any trouble.

She also has the ability to channel spirits but she said the rules of her gift don't allow her to channel babies under 18mths - 2years. I was a bit disappointed but she said my Grandma had popped in to say that a baby was being sent to me with an enormous amount of love and that Charlie would be one of this babies guides and this baby was meant for great things.

I don't know how much of it to believe but I guess as I am feeling so nervous about being PG again it was nice to get some reassurance. Even if it is a bit trippy.

Has anyone else had any psychic experiences since losing their babies. I would be really interested to hear about them.

Anyway, sorry for no personals but hugs to you all for braving the storm that is xmas and what a year 2009 is going to be. Remember, we're not leaving anyone behind (me speaking as troop leader in the trenches... I think I even have an american accent and there is some dramatic music playing in the background!!!)

love
Paula

Hi girls

Oh Laney, sorry if this is too forward but what your sister said was just awful and very hurtful :hug: I am so sorry you had to leave early and that this Xmas ended on a sour note with your family. I just can't believe nobody understands how fragile we all are - we didn't break the heel on our favourite pair of shoes for God's sake, we lost babies!

Theresa, I'm glad you're feeling a little stronger today and you're right, this time is hell - worse than hell actually.

Tildy, glad your Xmas went well.

Sue, glad the BD went smoothly! Bet your DH is the happiest man on earth right now :D How exciting getting all those kicks. It must be so wonderfully reassuring.

Lan, sounds like you had a rough day also. Are you close to testing?

Rozzie, good for you for doing what you and DH want. I wish I had the courage to do the same. I have really learnt alot about my family since losing Sebastian - they are cowards.

Beata, how nice of your DFs SIL to ask how you were, sometimes it's the people you least expect. Sorry you have been having issues with your mum. I hope you can get your relationship back on track and that she learns to respect your feelings. Thanks for the tip on the book, I will try and find it.

Hi Jo. Glad you had an ok day and are in a nice room now. Hold on nice and tight cervix!

Paula, what a wonderful toast DH made, especially to include your little girl. He is a gem. I am so very pleased your family is supportive and doesn't shy away from talking about Charlie. Your clairvoyant visit sounds very promising! Here is to a BFP for you next month!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Girls, I am certain the new year will welcome healthy and happy babies for our pg ladies, and BFPs for all of us TTC. Again, I am so very sorry to all of you that have suffered over the Xmas period. It's nearly over....... :grouphug:

Lots of love

Humph! Yes, while on holidays with my family DH and I found ourselves to be the default babysitters for my brother and sister's children. Just by the fact that we don't have any of our own to occupy ourselves with, and we're kind of fun (well, DH is, I was being a cow), the kids just stuck around us and their parents knicked off whenever they could. Boooo hissss!

But you're right Beata, 2008 wasn't all bad. We did all get to be mothers even if we had to learn the hardest feeling that can come with it.

My new year resolution is to TRY to not impose my feelings on everyone else, accept that no one will feel Hamish's loss the way I do (except you guys), and to open my heart to love another child.

I am now CD25. My BBs are kind of swelling and feel heavier. I remember with Hamish I noticed they got more veiny before I tested so of course I've been peering hard at them to see if there are veins. There aren't really but they do feel heavy. A sign? A sign? Hee.

Laney, I forgot to wish you happy birthday. 27 is my favourite age. My birthday wish for you is to simply be able to bring an earth baby home.

I'm back at work today and procrastinating hard.

yay for sore BB's Lan (he he). Can't you get one of those early tests. Oooooh how exciting. I can't wait to hear about your BfP.

I announced to DH that I am 2 days PG today... AF arrived 2 days ago so even though I have not conceived yet I am already counting how many days PG I am!!! Does that make me a freak. I'm pretty sure it does, but its probably not the first symptom of freakyness I've had so not a real worry I guess. I figured I would follow the 'fake it till you make it' strategy!!

Lan I have my fingers crossed so hard for you.....

Mrs Robbo - You are definately not a freak and it is really good to have positive vibes around you. I really do believe in psychics - even though there is good ones and also bad ones. Hopefully you had a good one and all of it comes true - here is to a BFP this month.....

Well I am also at work, though probably only for today. Catching up with work and then I won't be coming back until the 5 Jan.... yippee

Though on the roads today in Adelaide it was soooooo quiet, I got to work in record time and felt like I was the only one going to work.

xxx Sue xxx

Paula, I forgot to say that I've been debating with myself whether to go and get a reading too. But then I concluded that if there is more bad news, I can't handle it, so I haven't.

I choose to believe your psychic so let me be the first to extend my congratulations to you on your 2 day old second daughter :-)

"Fake it till you make it" is a fantastic mantra, I'll join you! Wooh!

Sue, thank you for crossing your fingers for me, with Lily in your belly (can we start calling her that now?), I believe your finger crossing is very powerful :-)

Ready for a nap now. zzzzz

Lan - definately use Lily.

I love feeling her and rubbing my belly and call her by her name ....

xxx Sue xxx

Lan, that's rough that you were the default babysitters... a bit of sensitivity never goes astray but we can't choose family. I'm hoping your boobs get nice and sore and you and Paula are due in the same month.

The third trimester has hit me like a ton of bricks, even if it's not meant to start for another week or two. My lower back hurts, my feet hurt and I have indigestion for the first time in my life, it kept me awake last night and was gross. But I love it all still, and don't complain (except for that just then). Adding to Sue's thread about people saying 'just wait until' I'm the same, I'm not worried about pain or discomfort or getting fat (and I really am getting fat!) or even the pain of labour, all that matters is that the baby comes safely, and I think unless you have had trouble having babies you can't understand it. I know first time round I was worried about labour etc.

Paula, I went to a psychic once with a friend, and both our psychics were way off... but it was a psychic convention and I think it was pretty crude. I have heard some amazing stories though of people I know and what they were told so I remain open minded because even though I'm a sceptical person I accept there are many things we don't know or fully understand in this world.

I'm a little sad too to be saying goodbye to 2008... I don't feel I can celebrate the new year. DH's friend invited us over for NYE and I said I just don't feel up to it so it will be just the two of us. Celebrating feels like we're glad 2008 is over, and like you said Lan it was a painful but amazing year, and also I don't want to act like 2009 will make everything better because it's just more time passing and we never know what's around the corner. Also I'm not looking forward to going back to work in a week... but then I have a scan next Wednesday so I both look forward to and dread next week, can't win!!!

Love Rozzie

Paula, that's spooky ( good spooky ! ) about the psychic saying she can see a girl in 2009...all you have to do is wait and see, and when it happens you know she can really see into the future and you can go and see her again ! Fingers crossed for 2009 hey ? I think there are good psychics, and really crappy ones when they try to prod you for info.
I went to see a psychic 4 weeks ago ( I see only 2 women, alternating, about every 2 years or so ) and this one straight away told me I had a miscarriage recently..I almost fell off my chair. She said to get rid of that fibroid ( which I am in 3 weeks ) and said she can see another baby in 2009/2010. Here's hoping...;)

Lan, sore boobies, yey !! Hope they stay sore ( not that's very pleasant, but it's good ! ) and you get a BFP soon :crossfingers:

Sue, you poor thing, my friend had to go to work for one day today ( we're both back on 12/01 ) and she called me today and she was suicidal ! Poor thing...it's horrible going back even for a few hours when you're on holidays..

Rozzie, I know what you mean about being sore and tired in your 3rd trimested, I never made it that far, but my next pregnancy ( I hope... ) I'll be saying, bring it on ! Don't care how uncomfortable I am, the bub will be so worth it.

Diana, I'm working on my mum, but sometimes it's like teaching a child about life..IUKWIM. You'd think she'd be more understanding, since she's had 2 kids of her own ! I hope you get that book, it's beautiful.

Jo, yay for the bigger room ! Good luck for your next u/s :goodluck:.

Big hello & hugs to the rest of you loverly girls.

Love
Beata xxx

Yay for 3rd trimester troubles Rozzie. I can't believe it is only days away for you. I remember getting heartburn for the very first time when I was PG with Ethan and it completely freaked me out. It took me awhile to realise what it actually was!!

No matter what is said about 2008 it has certainly been eventful for all the right and wrong reasons. I am choosing to use NYE to express gratitude. Rather than celebrating the end of 2008 or the beginning of 2009 I have decided to just use the time to reflect on everything I am grateful for in my life. Which in spite of the horrors of this year is quite a lot.

I hope you can all find something to smile about on NYE and that 2009 brings us all our long awaited earth babies.

Paula
xoxo

Beata, our posts crossed over. Lets hope your psychic is right about the new bub on the way and that its 2009 rather than 2010.

Fingers crossed!!

Thanks Paula, fingers crossed for us both hun, I think we both ( and all the other girls TTC ) deserve a beautiful and healthy bub in our life soon...

Beata xxx

Hi everyone

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their kind words during this difficult time. I am really struggling with it all and have not been coping too well. I have never experienced such turmoil and heartache. Sorry for the lack of personals but I just don't have the energy right now.

Thanks again everyone - your support has gotten me through this Christmas period. xxx

Hi Theresa,

Oh hun, I just want to give you a huge hug :hug:and tell you I wish I could make this heartache go away...It's just so awful to miss your little boy, he should be here. I often wonder about Joshua and what stage he'd be at, and how big he'd be now. My gut feeling is that if I was still pregnant, he would be born late Dec early Jan as my firbroid was taking a bit of room down there..Yet, there is no baby to hold and I feel really empty inside. I have Joshua's little place in my house, and he's surrounded by every angel I could find, I bought him 'Baby's First Christams' snow ball , a fireplace thingy that lights up and has a baby's christmas stocking hanging on it, and a rocking horse with a little teddy with a santa's hat on it, I have 2 photo's of Joshua and my last purchase this christams was a musical snow dome that plays twinkle, twinkle little star. Phew....the list goes on ! It makes me feel good buying little things for him ( you don't want to know what I bought for the christams tree ...) and although my DF thinks I'm going mad sometimes, I don't care. I feel good doing it, and I feel close to my little angel. I also have conversations with him in my head and then when I go to bed I talk to him and say a little prayer for him and ask my relatives to look after him until I get there, and again, I feel so close to him.

So, acknowledge your beautiful son as much as you can, because even though he never opened his eyes here on earth like Joshua, he was very much here and he is very real. One day when it's our time to go, we will be reunited with our little boys and we can give them these huge hugs and kisses and we'll never have to be apart again.

I'm sending you lots of love and suport and strength Theresa, I truly hope your suffering gets less and less each day, and you are at peace.

Love always

Beata xxx

Hi all,

Well I had an Ob appointment today and I got to hear bubs kicking away and a nice strong heartbeat. We also went through the morphology scan and the Ob was saying everything was good.

Oh and I found out today that the placenta is sitting at the front of my stomach and thats the reason I cant feel bubs all the time and only when I lay on my side and bub is on its side that I feel her.

I will have to wait a little longer to get movements all the time!!! bugger.

Rozzie - I also have a few little/dont care issues as well. My hips at night are a killer and I am getting indigestion as well - and I am only in my 2nd trimester!!! I spoke to the Ob this morning about the hips and he just said "wait a bit longer and it will get worse!!!).

Beata - what do you have to go through when you have your fibroids removed????

Zachary's Mum - I am so sorry you are going through a rough time. It is so understandable and I am glad that if we helped a little, thats what this website is all about. :hug: to you....

:hello: to everybody else.

xxx Sue xxx







xxx Sue xxx

Hi Sue,

I'm so glad everything is looking good, yey ! Too bad about the hips hurting, I'm guessing only, is it because everything there is stretching slowly ?? If that's the case, you poor thing... But, just think about the end result, a beautiful baby girl and it will all be so worth it. You can do it !!!!

Re my operation, the fibroid is going to be removed with an operation called myomectomy where they'll go into the uterus like a c cection and remove the big lump. Then they'll stich it up and I'll have to wait about 3 months ( so the uterus is healed ) to do another cycle of IVF . I'll be off work for 6 weeks ( yey !! ). I have one blast bub on ice...I'm praying this one latches on like Joshua did....The doctor told me with my next pregnancy, I'll probably have a c section at 38 weeks as there is a risk of the uterus bursting if I attempt a vaginal delivery. Bugger, I would have loved to experience it again with a full term baby, but at the end of the day, a healthy and happy baby is all that counts.

Big hugs

Beata xxx

Hi Beata,

Well I wish you all the best for your operation and definately 2009 will be your year to conceive a little bubs. I will have all my fingers and toes crossed for you.

I have been down the IVF track, its can be quite daunting isnt it. We were successful first time as well, but unfortunately and this is my gut feeling and I know I am right..... I am on a drug called metformin for insulin resistance and my Ob (not the one I have now) told me to stop taking it at around 9 weeks, which I did trusting him, unfortunately my little bubs stopped growing at that stage and I MC @ 12 weeks.

I also had a little frostie, but unfortunately it didnt come out of the unfreezing stage, but I got pregnant that month naturally.

So we call our little girl our miracle.....

xxx Sue xxx

Oh Sue, she definitely is a little miracle. I'm sorry you've lost your litlle bub at 12 weeks, that terrible doctor ! You know what they say about gut feelings, they're hardly ever wrong.
The irony in my IVF journey is that initially we've had to do it because when my DF was still married to his ex wife, he had a versectomy 10 years ago ( she had lupis and they almost lost their son - he was born at 32 weeks ) so when we decided to have kids he had the reversal done, but it wasn't succesful and the sperm count was almost zero.
So we did one cycle of IVF and I got pregnant the first time, but then my fibroid palyed up and I lost Joshua because of it. My doctor ( which I never balmed, as I know from reading heaps of material on fibroids, they rarely cause a problem ) was as shocked as me at what happened. I also think ( and this is MY gut feeling ) that the IVF drugs made the fibroid very angry and it grew so big in the end that it's blood supply got cut off and it started to degenerate, sending my poor uterus into spasms ( then contractions ). I think every woman is different, and women react differently to certain things, and obviously my pregnancy hormones and the IVF drugs just made the fibroid play up.
I will feel so much better once it's removed, although I always pray that we get pregnant naturally, by some miracle. Hey, they do happen, look at you !

Thanks so much for your well wishes hun.

Love and hugs

Beata xxx

Beata, I always think of Lily (Sue's miracle girl) whenever I need some hope. I was reading our old post the other day and saw the one where Sue said that she just lost frostie and we were all so down for her but then she and her DH got preggers all by themselves. I hope your operation goes smoothly (it's a big and scary one!!) and that you'll get a BFP as soon as your body has recovered.

Theresa, I'm sorry you are missing your boy so much. You have every right to and I don't know what to do to make you feel better. Only that I understand your pain and wish with all my might that Zachary is holding you tight when you need him the most.

Everybody, I've finally heard from Jo (Madison's mum, not Luke's mum). Sounds like she had the same crappy December we all did.

Rozzie, how big are you? All over big or just tummy big. I hope I'll get to see you again before you have your bub so I can see you in full bloom. I told David that you're one week away from entering 3rd tri and he dedicated a song on Guitar Hero to you and Alec and bubs :-) To think that when we saw you, I think you were just 14wks.

Sue did you get to see Lily or just listen? I'm currently reading Francesca Naish's 'The Natural Way to a Better Pregnancy and she's totally against ultrasounds which has put me into a bother as I was planning to totally assault the ultrasound machine like Katie did to keep my sanity when I finally get my BFP. How to balance being an earth mother hippy type with being programmed as a freaked out paranoid mother type?

Speaking of BFP's, I'm going to buy a pee stick on Fri which will be CD29 and test on Sun if AF doesn't show her face. BB's are still big and feeling very tired today. More signs? Please?

Everyone else must be on holidays. I want to hear from Helen, see if her naughty bub has kicked up more of a storm.

Hugs to everyone.

Lan, thanks hun, I'm looking forward to getting that fibroid out but pooing myself at the same time about the pain and recovery !!!! But you know what they say, no pain no gain !

So glad to hear you BB's are still heavy..good sign I think. I can't believe I won't be able to check on how you went until I come back from my holiday next week ! Fingers crossed hun, I hope AF stays well away..GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wishing you millions and trillions sticky vibes :)

Love
Beata xxx

Lan -- now I'm all excited and nervous for the weekend! I really hope AF stays away and that we get a long-awaited and well-deserved BFP in here. It's been a while!

So is Jo (relatively) ok? It's nice to hear she's still among the living! Did you tell her we were all asking after her?

Beata -- my SIL had 4 miscarriages in a row because of fibroids. I do not believe she had one big one like you have, but rather lots and lots of them. Every one of her miscarriages was in week 12. But after she changed doctors and they gave her a good work-up, removed the fibroids and put her on aspirin to keep them from growing back, she had her little girl that is 3 years old now. So I have no reason to expect anything less for you!

Sue -- figures that your placenta would be in the front so that you don't get as many kicks as you'd like! But it's nice with a great scan -- I haven't had one for 7 weeks now I just realized, so I'm hoping I get one when I next see the high risk OB in week 30.

Theresa -- I know what you mean about never having experienced this kind of turmoil. I know you feel like you're not coping well, but I don't believe you're coping any less heroically than a person in your situation can be expected to. I have my "light at the end of the tunnel" coming in April, but I'm starting to cry more and more every day, sometimes sinking back into that same black pit that I thought I'd crawled my way out of. It's not fun to feel "broken," but I really think that you're not handling it any worse than you should. I know it's maybe both comforting and depressing to hear me say that your despair is normal and might last a while... but the important thing is that you don't feel like a failure for not being chipper and happy.

Paula -- now you're 3 days pregnant! :D

Rozzie -- I'm sort of waiting for the third trimester to hit like a ton of bricks. I've been having lots of tiny little issues, but no major ones, except for this constant bull**** with my sinuses. I have a bit of hip pain, a bit of shortness of breath when I go up the stairs, etc... tiny, almost unnoticeable quibbles that merely serve to remind me that Kebab is in there. My belly certainly doesn't remind me, as it still hasn't gotten big enough to make a noticeable difference! I'm sort of like "What, I used to weigh 115 kg, and this is all you've got? Bring it on!" :D

I've been going to a chiropractor for the hip pain and it's really gotten a lot better -- but typical! I'm in for some major hurt later tonight, as I fell on the stairs this morning when I got up to let the cats out! I bounced down 3 or 4 of them on my butt, and DH came SPEEDING from the bedroom. He said "I was just lying in bed thinking that I should probably be letting the cats out because you might be tired and clumsy and fall down on your stomach and something will happen to Kebab, and right then I heard you fall!" So I'm banned from cat duty from now on! But everything seems good -- it's been 5 hours and nothing hurts, nothing is bleeding or leaking, and Kebab is kicking away... sheesh!

DH and I are in an interesting situation before New Year's... our closest friends seem to be splitting up after 8+ years together, and the female half of the couple seems to have been in the hospital after a suicide attempt. So we're quite full up trying to figure out our best course of action in order to be supportive and fair but not pushy or too self-sacrificing. I know I can't fix her, but I hope that I can offer her a hand to hold or a person to sit next to and drink coffee, which is what I would have wished for my friends to do after losing Beiron but I didn't really get much of.

Hi lovely ladies. I am sorry I have not been around the past week or so. We are in Brisbane with my family for Christmas. I know that this Christmas and New Year period are very difficult and bring along with it many difficult emotions. I hope you are all okay and just allow yourself plenty of time alone if that is what you need. Don't make yourself be sociable if you think it will be too upsetting. I hope 2009 is kinder to all of you.

:grouphug:

Hi Tildy,

Glad to hear you're going well ( apart from that fall on the stairs !!!! naughty girl, stay away from stairs they're evil ! he he he ). You know when you said you're hardly showing at the moment, well, when I was 3 months pregnant my belly was the size of a 6 month pregnancy because of the IVF drugs and the massive fibroid. At work, I didn't want people to find out until I had my 12 week scan, but they suspected I was pregnant and the rumours were flying high. It was awful to dodge them.

I suspect your SIL kept having miscarriages because if she had that many small fibroids they probably prevented the embyos from sticking properly in the wall. I have read and heard of so many women with fibroids ( some of the fibroids a decent size ! ) that have successfuly gone on to get pregnant and carry to full term. In some cases the 3 to 5 cm fibroids just disappeared with the pregnancy progressing ! How's that ! Didn't happen to me though, my fibroid just went crazy. I know if my doctor thought it was going to behave like it did, he would have removed it ( while it was still a respecable size of about 8 x 7 cm - now it's 11 x 11 cm ) before I attempeted to get pregnant. The fibroid's blood supply got cut off and is now dead, around the time Joshua was born, so I guess that was his mission here on earth, becuase had he not been in my belly, the fibroid would have been growing still.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends splitting up. I think the best thing you can do is just be there for your friend as she'll probably need a shoulder to cry on. It is a shame you didn't have that support when you lost Beiron, that's why we surround ourselves with our closest friends, counting on them to be there if tragedy stikes.

Sending you big hugs and good luck in your next scan ! Go little Kebab !

Hi Katie, just saw your post. Hope you're going OK with your bub :D.

Love

Beata xxx

Sulking! Couldn't help myself and bought a pee stick and peed and got a big fat BFN. I really expected two lines to show up. Boo hoo. It's CD27 today. Shouldn't it be positive by now if there's anybody in my belly?

Hello everybody, just a really quick one, I feel like my feet haven't hit the floor lately! I think all is ok on my end, and I have to say Lan that my naughty little baby hasn't put much of a show on at all, even had about 3 days of nothing! It is just so different to the boys, once they started to move there wasn't any stopping them, but this one is just trying to test my sanity I think. Scan on Tuesday, BRING IT ON!!!!

Lan - Do remember when I was testing and nothing was coming up and then only the slightest of slightest line for like over a week after AF due??? You kept telling me to be patient, well I am now telling you the same thing! Katie was the same I think, didn't get her BFP until after AF, and just look at our gorgeous little mascot! Here's hoping that BFP is still coming.

Theresa - I have only hugs for you, don't feel like you 'have' to be strong, it is sadly going to take a lot of hurt before you start to live life without Zachary in your arms, but he will ALWAYS be in your heart and soul.
Laney - I can't believe your sister was so incensitive, I wanted to smack her for you! Hugs to you too.

Hi to everyone else I really need to get myself moving again, we have a party at neighbours place tonight, so at least I can come home whenever I want to. Happy New Year to all!

Lan, Lan , patience dear ! It might be too soon to know, please be patient. Still have my fingers and toes crossed for you, I know you'll by eyeing off another pregnancy stick soon....Put it down !!!!!

Helen, all the best for your scan on tuesday ! You know, now the bubs will be very busy in there since you're wishing for more action !

To all you lovely girls, I wish you a happy, healthy and peaceful 2009, may it bring you all you've hoped for and more, may it bring little bubs to all TTC and may all the girls with little bubs in their bellies have good labours and healthy bubs in 2009 !

Bring on 2009 !!!!

Lots of love and hugs to all,

Beata xxx

it

Hi all,

Lan - remember I was the same. Got the faintest of faintest lines on the day my period was due. I really had to squint to see it..... and when I went to the Dr's the next day, it was also very very light and even she wasnt quite sure. So you never know!!!!!

I also wanted to wish everyone a very safe NYE. 2009 is going to be a fantastic year for all. Bring it on...

xxx Sue xxx

Hi girls,

Happy New Year 2009 :birthday2:!! How is everyone today ? What did you all end up doing last nite ??? I ended up going to a friend's house for a wee party ( the last 3 years have been spent in the city for the fireworks ) and the buggers got me drunk :sick:( I was supposed to drive back home ), and then they brought out the singstar and I ended up belting out god knows how many songs, and this morning my throat is so sore...I'm supposed to pack for my holiday today as we leave tomorrow, and I just want to stay in bed :o

Hey Sue, I just realised Lily's due date is 10 May, if she's on time we'll only be a day apart in birthdays ( mine's on 9th May ) ! Taureans rule !!!!!!

Love and hugs to all, going back to bed...

Beata xxx

Beata you drunk skunk! Haha. Glad you had a good time. You so read my mind about having another go on the pee stick because of course I bought a packet of two but because you told me so fiercely, I won't touch it until maybe Sunday. Hee.

Helen and Sue, I was actually going through the archives trying to find out if any of you guys had BFN's the cycle you were actually pregnant. I saw the one where you finally got a faint BFP Helen and felt sorry for myself because at least you got a faint line. But I feel better now that you've reminded me that the faint line wasn't even until a week after AF was due.

Hey Helen, I bet you've got a little girl in there since everything this time is so different from both the boys. Maybe your placenta's at the front like Sue's?

Sue, your ticker really is on steroids. It's like Katie's was - just zip zip zip. I hope I get one of those too!

Happy new year, my friends!

Lan, I knew by the time you'd read my message not to open another pee stick, you would be tearing one open anyway ( that's because I'd be doing exactly the same he he, I have no patience at the best of times - and the excitement would be just too much for me ). Just so you're not disappointed at a negative reading, waiting those extra few days is worth wile...Can't believe I won't be here to hear how you went....! ( I wonder is there's an internet cafe in Lorne ??? must investigate ). Otherwise I'll be off for 7 days, that's gonna kill me !

Good luck huni, I have nothing else left to cross for you .....all 20 fingers and toes crossed already ! xxxxx

Hi all,

Happy New Year.

Hoping that 2009 is going to be all that we dreamed of.

Lan - still have my fingers crossed for you - please please wait those extra days. I will be waiting to hear fantastic news.....

Beata - have a good trip away. Relax and enjoy it.

A big hello to everyone else.... xxx


xxx Sue xxx

:angry::crying::wall:

AF arrived.

It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair.

My only consolation is that Paula is only on CD4 so we're three days apart on this cycle.

I threw a giant wobbly this afternoon. You know, the same thing we've all cried about. I've been pregnant twice, I was more than half way through my last pregnancy, and yet here I am waiting for the next cycle to fall pregnant.

:angry::crying::wall:

:comfort: Lan - I have been watching you closely. I am sorry... :hug:
Try and think it's only 12 days until you start trying again... Big hugs darling woman... :hug:

Oh Lan, I am so sorry sweetheart :cry:

Big :hug: for you.

I know how you feel!!! hoping each cycle is the one.

If you need to do a wobbly - you do it!!! Sometimes it is what we need to do so we can focus on the next cycle.

I will be praying :pray: that next cycle is the one.....


xxx Sue xxx

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry...that bloody AF !!!!! I know it's so disappointing, :noaf: next time !!

Sending you huge hugs hun, now I've got 10 fingers and 10 toes crossed for you for the next cycle. I know it will happen for you, please stay positive :pray:

Love and big hugs and massive amounts of babydust coming your way....

Beata xxx

Hi Sue, thanks hon, I'll definitely aim to have a very relaxed holiday. Don't know about the weather though, it's a bit like winter ATM ! What are you sending to us from Adelaide ? We always get your weather eventually...Hope you're plodding along nicely and that you hips are not giving you too much trouble :).

Speak to you in 7 days, unless I can locate an internet cafe somewhere..... he he

Love
Beata xxx

Hi all, it's pretty quiet in here isn't it? Just wait till Jo gets back on and writes an essay! She is always good at filling up the space!
Lan - I'm sorry hun, but I have to say I think you and Paula are going to jam this month together! So we should have at least 2 bubs due in October!
beata - Have fun while you are away, where are you going? Hope you can snag a IT cafe! It is stinking hot in Brisbane (although today is nice), send us some of that winter.
Theresa - How are you going with Zachary today? I hope he is holding you tight.
Sue - Bugger about the hips, I get a bit of SPD, which is starting to bite me if I move the wrong way.
Katie - How was Anna's first Xmas?
TM & Stickybaby - How are you guys going? Big hugs to you both.
Hi to everyone.

Thank you for your calming words. I think I've almost recovered from the disappointment and like Flowerchild said, only a week and bit till it's action stations again.DH wants to know how come he tells me exactly the same things as you guys but gets in trouble for it whereas when you guys say the same thing, I think you're great. Ha ha.

Really really Helen? You've got a feeling for Paula and I for this cycle? Cos you know I knew for sure that you'd get pregnant in September and I was right. So I'm going to cling onto your words now :-)

I don't know how my egg didn't manage to meet a single sperm though. We BD'd everyday from when the fertile CM showed up. DH thinks he must've been running on empty and thinks every second day is better. He also wants to know why we have to follow dates. Because I'm a control freak, that's why :-)

Oh Tildy, I forgot to answer your question about Jo. She didn't sound too OK and I haven't heard from her since so she's likely to be in quietly going mental but still chugging along mode - we're all pretty good at that.

I'm cold Helen, you can have some of Sydney's cold wind.

Oh Lan, :hug: for this month not being the one. I remember all of 2007 where I got month after month of BFNs, it is so disappointing. But on the plus side it sounds like your cycle is all in check and good to go for this coming month. I read an article that said despite popular opinion successful fertilisation and implantation is a tricky process and first time success is less common that most think. So your perfect month is on its way.

I have to go back to work on Monday :( but scan on Wednesday so that's good, I really need reassurance that the blood flow has remained good after stopping clexane.


I hope Jo is ok... this time is so hard for people who've had such painful loss.

Love Rozzie

Hi girls,

Well it has been a big couple of days.

DH and I went out and purchased all the baby stuff!!!!

I must admit, I was really really scared about it, as it is such a big move, but we had some time off together and not sure if we will get that again for a while (as DH is a boilermaker and works a lot of weekends etc).

So we ordered pram, car seat, cot, change table and wow spent a lot of money!!!

Katie - thought of you this Christmas and how it would have been great celebrating it with Anna, but a little sad also.

Rozzie - good luck for your scan on Wednesday. I am also back to work on Monday - gees its going to be hard.

Lan I hope so much this cycle will be it - Paula and you are going to have so much fun trying and announcement will be so sweet - can't wait.

Helen - I am sure your ticker is going quicker than mine!!!! How are you going??? When do you go to your 20 week scan??? You poor thing with the hot weather in Brisbane, Adelaide has been fantastic weather. But looks like we are warming up though.

To everyone else - xxxxxx

xxx Sue xxx