Hi Noni,
It's just devastating losing a baby half way through a pregnancy. I remember I still felt like something would go wrong even after my 12 week scan. Because I did IVF and also ICSI (they inject the sperm straight into the egg) I always thought the rate of the miscarriage for me was slightly higher than someone going through IVF without the invasive ICSI. After I had my scan at 20 weeks, I actually started to feel more relaxed, and then bang, I went into labour. I started having contractions a good 3 days before I gave birth, except I thought it was the pain from my fibroid (that's what they were treating when I got admitted to hospital to begin with). Then I realised they were contractions and not the pain from the fibroid.
Was your scan at 20 weeks all good? Oh hun, it's so hard not having a reason ATM.
I know this is a sensitive question, but did they do an autopsy on your little boy? I've read somewhere in the many books (I've lost count on how many I've read...) that a miscarriage in the second trimester is very rare (1% of all pregnancies). The books also strongly recommended to investigate a late miscarriage thoroughly. I didn't have to have the autopsy done on Joshua as the doc knew it was the fibroid that caused the miscarriage. One book I read said that sometimes the baby dies days or even weeks before it's actually born (ie the baby died at 16 or 17 weeks but was only born at 20) so it's really important to find out if possibly there was an infection in the womb. Another book said that sometimes the membreanes rapture for some reason, and that's why the baby is born too soon.
Please don't give up looking for the asnwer, as I believe that there is always a reason for everything that happens. When the doctors say they don't know why a miscarriage happened, I think they say this as they just don't know or don't have the knowledge or (I'm sorry to say) couldn't be bothered to really look deep for the reason. But there must be a reason and that's why it's important to explore all avenues. Please ask lots of questions Noni, and get second opinions if you feel like you're not getting any answers. Did you have your own OB from the start or were you going public and didn't have one doctor in particular?
Love B xxx