Hi Noni,
It's just devastating losing a baby half way through a pregnancy. I remember I still felt like something would go wrong even after my 12 week scan. Because I did IVF and also ICSI (they inject the sperm straight into the egg) I always thought the rate of the miscarriage for me was slightly higher than someone going through IVF without the invasive ICSI. After I had my scan at 20 weeks, I actually started to feel more relaxed, and then bang, I went into labour. I started having contractions a good 3 days before I gave birth, except I thought it was the pain from my fibroid (that's what they were treating when I got admitted to hospital to begin with). Then I realised they were contractions and not the pain from the fibroid.
Was your scan at 20 weeks all good? Oh hun, it's so hard not having a reason ATM.
I know this is a sensitive question, but did they do an autopsy on your little boy? I've read somewhere in the many books (I've lost count on how many I've read...) that a miscarriage in the second trimester is very rare (1% of all pregnancies). The books also strongly recommended to investigate a late miscarriage thoroughly. I didn't have to have the autopsy done on Joshua as the doc knew it was the fibroid that caused the miscarriage. One book I read said that sometimes the baby dies days or even weeks before it's actually born (ie the baby died at 16 or 17 weeks but was only born at 20) so it's really important to find out if possibly there was an infection in the womb. Another book said that sometimes the membreanes rapture for some reason, and that's why the baby is born too soon.
Please don't give up looking for the asnwer, as I believe that there is always a reason for everything that happens. When the doctors say they don't know why a miscarriage happened, I think they say this as they just don't know or don't have the knowledge or (I'm sorry to say) couldn't be bothered to really look deep for the reason. But there must be a reason and that's why it's important to explore all avenues. Please ask lots of questions Noni, and get second opinions if you feel like you're not getting any answers. Did you have your own OB from the start or were you going public and didn't have one doctor in particular?
Love B xxx
I Dunno, Beata. I started charting on Monday and that's doing some weird things as well! We'll just wait and see, i'm not going to get my hopes up because last time I did and i was seriously gutted!
I'm glad your holiday was nice, it is always nice to be back though isn't it? Sometimes you feel like you get back and you need a holiday from your holiday
Noni, When I lost Jayvan they say that he had died around 15/16 weeks. It wasn't picked up until I went it for my monthly check up and my Dr wasnt able to find a heart beat. Somehow my body and kept him in and he kept growing (when he was born his measurements were all right for a 17w6d baby) My body just didn't want to let him go, and I had to be induced. All they could tell us from the autopsy was that his internal cavity filled with fluid, but they weren't able to find out what had caused this.
I find it very weird that your Dr thinks you aren't highrisk, especially when you were so far into your pregnancy. For our next pregnancy our Dr is ordering more regular ultrasounds which we need to have in Perth as the equipment is much more detailed than what it is in Bunbury. In a way I'm kind of excited because I love those 3D scans, but then sometimes ignorance is bliss, and I'm not entirely sure what to expect.
Don't apologise for going on and on, this thread is excellent from thinking out loud!
It's good to hear you will O on monday! At least your cycle is back in time, hopefully a little bundle willcome quicly for you! Make use of the Long Weekend we're getting! hehe (I think i read somewhere that you're in perth? if you aren't I apologise!!)
- sheesh can I use anymore exclamation marks? I really do need to cut down...
DD & Dee, Just making sure you still know that I'm hoping with all my might you two get sticky little embies!
Rozzie, well done on your scan! 4 Weeks!! Thats not long at all!
to all you other TTC'ers, and to the other preg mumma's. I'm off to get ready for work. xxx
Hi girls, am soooo busy at work so sorry I don't have time for huge perssies this morning.
Welcome back Beata and I hope you enjoyed your wee get away. Where did you go? What did you do? Work on Monday - yuk... but please try not to get too stressed and just focus on the months ahead. You will only have about 8 or 9 months to go then you be off for a whole year
Teagz, thanks for the good vibes girl. You're a treasure.
Noni
Rozzie, 4 weeks! That's fantastic. Can't wait to be there....
I just have to have a vent as I am so cranky! I got a bill from my old OB yesterday after 8 months! 8 months! It's for 4 visits with him prior to my loss. Do you believe it? Who does he think he is sending me a bill after the way he treated me? I don't know whether to call and abuse, write a nasty "get f***ked, you killed my son" letter or just pay the darn thing and get rid of him from my life forever. I just can't believe his nerve
thanks for the advice ladies, my little was still alive as i was lying there in the hospital with my legs in the air as they were hoping gravity would help keep him in. his heart beat was fine and he was moving around (in distress) it was just terrible. they did do a swab in there to check for infections etc. i go back to the hospitala (king edward) in a few weeks for the results of the autopsy, but we opted to have the basic one...no cutting him up etc. no i wonder if we'll get enough info. so as for infection i don't know. we were public patients so maybe that didn't help either..we're getting our own doctor this time. i have to look for one who will take this serioulsy. any ideas in perth? the 18 week ultrasound was beautifl, nothing odd at all and no uti. it just is what it is. when doctor at the hospital said this only happens in less that 1% of cases, i thougt i was going to go mad. what are the chances ! i had lots of tests with a gp afterwrads and he found no infections in there etc...tahnks for listening and sharingyour thoughts. yep i will make use of the long weekend
Teagz, keep charting hun, hopefully you'll see a pattern there. Yuck for working!! You pooooooooore luv. Hate work, hate hate hate it!!!!!!!! Lucky for you it's friday he he
Diana, OMG!!!!!! I can't believe the nerve of this doctor!! Please give him a call as it might be a misunderstanding. When my OB delivered Joshua he told me there would not be any fees. He also told me that I might get a bill anyway as their system automatically spits out invoices, but to throw it in the bin if I got one. It's a bit odd as it's been 8 months.....something doesn't look right. Call him anyway hun, I'm sure you won't have to pay it. Even when I went for several follow up app. to my OB he didn't charge me a cent.
How are you feeling today beside the ? Thinking of you and praying your little one has stuck well and truly
Dee, I hope & pray your little emmy stuck too How is it going at your end?
Noni, I know it's frasturating when they say what happened to us happens in less than 1% of the cases. I also thought, why was I in the 1%???!!! Although my FS/OB always kept a close eye on the fibroid, he was adamant it wasn't going to be a problem. I was initially angry with him as I thought, why did he take the risk with me???? But the bottom line is, he has seen loads of women go through their pregnancies with larger fibroids with no problems. He proablbly went with his personal experience and his professional opinion, but unfortunately I was in the 1% chance category.
Reading your story brought tears to my eyes, hun. I remember when I was having my contractions, Joshua was kicking away happily and his hb was perfect. I just couldn't believe he was going to be pushed out when he was so happy inside. With my faith in God, I know that he always knew how long he was going to stay here on earth, so that makes me feel more at peace with my loss. I'm just so lucky I got to see him and give him plenty of kisses and cuddles.
Noni, my heart goes out to you, what you went through is the most terrible loss imaginable. I wish that you will hold a healthy, beautiful full term baby in your arms soon .
Beata, thanks for the advice. I won't ring today as I don't want to ruin my weekend. Will call next week sometime.
Dee, how are you feeling? Am interested to hear whether you were able to distinguish progesterone based symptoms from real pg ones when you got your last BFP. So far I only have the really really really sore bbs but that's definately a progesterone symptom. Also, did you POAS or just wait for your blood test? What about you Beata? As you can probably tell, I'm getting a tad anxious
Lan, please let me know how you're going - CD 27 today - you should be getting close to testing! Any symptoms?
You're right, call next week and THEN abuse them. There must be a mistake hun, don't worry one little bit!!
I've read a few things about how it's hard to tell between the progesterone related symptoms and the pg ones. I wasn't getting any (can you believe that????) and then I gave in to temptation & tested 2 days before I was due for my blood test, and guess what????????? I thought I got a BFN!!!!!!! I remember seeing this very very faint line ages after I peed on that evil stick, but I thought I imagined it, it was soooooo faint. So I threw the stick in the bin. I was expecting AF on the thursday and it didn't come, so I thought, it will come on friday.....but still no AF on friday morning. The one thing I also do remember is that I wasn't getting my AF symptoms. Then I had my blood test done on friday (I still had absolutely no symptoms so I thought I wasn't pregnant) and then they told me they would call by 3 pm. For some reason I wasn't nervous as I didn't think it would be positive. The nurse called me at 10.30. I almost dropped off my chair as I didn't feel pregnant. So go figure!!
The point is hun, anything is possible. It would be annoying to be getting the pg symptoms as the gel can give you that. But as you've heard what happened to me, I didn't get any and I got a BFP. Please try and relax, we are all praying very very hard for you and Dee, and I know little embie is a very determined tough little mite!!
Thinking of you sweetie, and sending you big hugs
Ugh, I'm quite possibly the most horrible person ever. A friend of ours is 9 weeks pregnant. I'm pretty sure I turned a bright shade of green when DF told me.
Sweetie, you are not horrible. PERIOD. It's natural to envy and feel the green monster coming out when someone announces their pregnancy (apart, of course, from all of our lovelies here who we can't wait to get their BFP!!!!). It's hard hearing of others getting preggo (with no apparent effort and not having any probs with their pregnancies) when all you can think of is TTC a bub (and you're still not pregnant). Don't worry, when you're UTD you will not feel this way. Big hugs sweets
Hello, it's me. Been having heaps of trouble getting into BB. Stupid system!
Yah, I'm CD27 and actually feel quite premenstrual. Having slight cramps in abs. I fear the witch is coming! I'm OK about it now but when I see her I'll have another fit I'm sure.
What about you Diana? Anything different? I guess you can't tell with all the hormones they've pumped you with. My BB's always swell so that's no indication. Apart from that - nothing!
Lan, I hope the witch stays away for you I remember when I was pg with Jasmine I thought AF was coming for sure, so you never know.
Diana & Dee, still doing lots of prayers for you both . Hold on tight little ones and grow nicely for mummy!
Diana, I agree with Beata ring the OB. When I saw my OB for appointments around the time I lost Jasmine, when my OB saw me out of his office, he would say 'your right' as in don't pay at reception, but then a week or so later I would get an invoice in the mail. I ended up with about 4 of these! I am very sure that it was just the receptionist sending out the bills, not knowing that the OB was happy for me not to pay. I was even charged for going in to fill out a form to be admitted into hospital for the labour! I was so distresssed that at the time I just paid them, but if I got a bill now I would call. So you go for it and call on principal of your situation as well.
Teagz, I second that your not horrible at all, its a very natural reaction. Your turn will come soon hun. Really hoping that you get a wonderful 21st B'day present. Also, you raised an interesting question earlier re: whether to 'act like your pg' when ttc by not drinking, eating certain foods etc. I was wondering what people did as well, so put that question out again. I have been 'acting pg' so no drinking etc, but don't know the facts on this one. I read that you shouldn't drink from 5-days before ttc either but I'm not sure of the facts
Beata, so great to have you back, glad your little holiday was nice. I'm sorry that you hate work so much. I can understand you wanting to stay due to maternity leave, I am actually ready for a move myself, but want to stay for that reason, but at the same time my work environment is fine, so staying doesn't effect my happiness. I say if it is effecting your happiness and emotional wellbeing, its simply not worth it. You never know a move could actually pay you more so potentially equal out to your current salary + maternity leave, you never know
Noni, your story is so sad, it's just not right at all losing a little one like that. I really pray that you get a BFP soon and have a very uneventful 9-months
As for me O is approaching, YAH! so its action stations, I really hope this is it
thanks for your words berry1. i just got a letter in the mail now, they want us to come in next wednesday..i thought it was the 18th but anyway they want us to come meet with the tema of specialist that took our bloods, his and did the post mortem. hubby has a meting 30 minutes from the time so i think i'll have to reschedule. i feel good in a way it will give some sort of closure and in another way i'm pretty scared of what they will say and also going back to that hospital! i hope i can walk away with more of an answer. it's okay though, i guess.
teagz, you're not bad at all.i have an acquaintance (hubby's work mate's wife) that wwe use see now and agian and she is due a day after my boy was due. we were so excited and planning mummy groups etc..i haven't seen her since the week before we lost bub. i just can't stomach it. i don't want to see her belly or her baby for now. i feel bad cos she hasn't done anything wrong and i want her to enjoy it. so you're not bad. i think sensetive people who care about you should understand.you'll be fine hun
Noni, it will be good for you & DH to get some more information on what happened and to, as you said, get closure. Going back to the hospital won't be easy, I can understand that, it can feel quite strange and upsetting, but I really hope the visit give you the answers you deserve. We had an autopsy done for Jasmine and I have the prelimenary results, but the full results are yet to come in. It can be hard. Thinking of you.
Hey sweetie, big hugs hun . I know the frasturation of charting every month, timing the 'deed' and then after all the efforts, AF comes. BUT, you can't stop trying hun, you know it's gonna happen one day (hopefully very very soon) so please don't give up hope.
Even though I new DF count was so low, our FS said it would be extremely hard to get pg naturally. BUT, I still did the charts, the temps and timed everything perfectly in hope of a 'miracle'. I didn't give up hope even though I had a lot more obstacles than you!! (Hmm, maybe I was in denial & prayed to prove him wrong??)
Lan, I'm always hoping, wishing & praying very hard for you to get your BFP soon . You deserve it sooooooo much. Sending you very very sticky vibes for next time and loads of babydust your way
PS This might be a very silly question, but when the temp goes down, does it definitely mean no pg??????
morning girls
firstly diana had no idea i was utd last time, i even did a poas the night before and didn't leave it long enough to register because i was so sure i wasn't pregnant, imagine my shock when i did one the next morning so i could ring the fs and give them the result. i'm the same this time have got no idea every now and then i feel a bit blah and think maybe but i know that it is a combination of all the drugs. we just have to be patient i guess.
Teagz you are anything but a horrible person don't feel bad.
noni i really hope that you get some answers, and just take it one step at a time with going back to the hospital, we all can understand exactly how you feel and will be holding your hand as you go through this.
for the rest of you girls that are just about to o hope you all have fun.
and to all the pregnant mummies gives those belly a rub for all us ttc.
off to play guitar hero with dh one of my new addictions so much fun.
Hi Lan, sorry that your temp is going down it can be quite depressing, I know, but as Beata said you just have to keep trying and it WILL happen for you. I am by NO means a temp expert, but I am a bit surprised that FF put O at CD17 when you just had a small temp increase and the next day it increased more significantly? What do you think? I do hope you get a BFP soon
Dee & Diana, continuing to pray for you both .
Beata, I hope you are feeling well. Please don't dread Monday, but look at it as a sign that you are getting better and ready to ttc again very soon.
AFM, woke up feeling awful this morning. I haven't been sick in so long I can't even remember. Am trying to fight it naturally, as in no drugs. Does anyone know if having the flu can deminish the chance of conceiving due to low immunity etc?
Megan, sorry you're feeling under the weather hun. I so hope and pray that you get a nice sticky egg this cycle, praying very hard for a BFP for you hun!!!!
I didn't think having the flu would diminish your chances of conceiving, so please stay positive and I have everything crossed for you!
Dee and Diana, always praying for you lovelies, not long to go before you both test!!! I pray for a BFP for you both
Jo76, what cycle day are you now? Will you be testing soon? Bring on a sticky one and lots of babydust to you too hun, we want a BFP!!!!
Lan, big hugs hun, still hoping for a good outcome for you this cycle, never lose sight of your dream sweetheart
Nae, what is news with you hun? Also sending some very sticky vibes your way and lots and lots of baby dust
Teagz, only a few more sleeps for you until your big 21st!!!! Yeepee!!!! How is everything with you lovely??
Laney, praying hard everything is well at your end hun, and your little man is doing well
Katie, how have you been hun? What is little Anna up to these days?
Noni, I hope you're having a good weekend and I'm thinking of you hun
AFM, I'm ready to face the music on monday.....Megan, I am seriously thinking of leaving my work as it's been a constant struggle to stay there. I absolutely detest my MD, and he makes life hard for me. Before he became our MD, he was my boss and he was having an affair with a sales rep who I used to report to. This horrible woman used to dump most of her work on me so she didn't have to come in every day, and when she did, she was there for 3 or 4 hours tops (her hours were supposed to be the same as for everybody else). One day I complained to my new boss, and a few months later she was asked to leave (not because of me, she did some bad things at work and the people in the US where our head office is found out) and she left. Ever since then, her boyfriend (my MD) blamed me and has made life hell for me. That was almost two years ago.
When I found out I was preganant, I was over the moon as I planned 12 months of maternity leave (3 paid) and I was going to be outa there. I was then going to look for another job when I was ready to go back to work. Well, I didn't get to go on maternity leave, and it was devastating to go back there this year. Oh well, I'm hoping I get pg soon and I will leave that place for good!!!
Rozzie, Sue, Jo, Tildy, Helen, Theresa & Paula, I'm sending you all big hugs and belly rubs for your bubs, I hope every one is well and taking it easy .
Once again, for all our TTC lovelies, I'm sending bucket loads of babydust and the stickiest of sticky vibes to you girls. We are so overdue for some BFPs in here!!!!! I am now doing a big BFP dance for all of us girls (NOT a good look, but it might work!!! LOL)
Well over and out for me for now, hope everyone is having a great weekend and big hugs to all.
and that's doing some weird things as well! We'll just wait and see, i'm not going to get my hopes up because last time I did and i was seriously gutted!
(I think i read somewhere that you're in perth? if you aren't I apologise!!)
to all you other TTC'ers, and
to the other preg mumma's. I'm off to get ready for work. xxx
I remember when I was pg with Jasmine I thought AF was coming for sure, so you never know.
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