Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage October
If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!
My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!
I hope so much that this month is YOUR month.
If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, or provide any constructive feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators:
Fllowerchild
Niliac
Alternately you may contact Kelly (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).
We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...
Katiegirl congrats on being able to get yourself prepared for your little girl, im sure she will be absolutely beautiful.
Hammiill be seeing my Ob on thursday lunchtime so hopefully she'll give me the paperwork for my scans then. ill be 12 weeks on friday.. im just hoping everything is going well.. i feel good now all the queezyness is gone.. tiredness seems to have a hold on me though.. but all seems to be good.. so far.
everyone hope everyone else is well.
im leaving bubydust for everyone for luck
hi everyone!
well safe to say after my intial high of getting the urns we wanted, i came back down and crashed. HARD! In the dark of the night while my Dh was trying to cop a feel, i had tears rolling down my cheeks trying to get to sleep. I had the most interrupted sleep in awhile, so we'll see how i go tonight! I am exhausted and ended up running late this morning!
tildy -have been thinking of you and even after ordering the urns you were the next thought in my mind! Hope that Beirons EDD was ok for you with all that is going on around you right now. I hope you found some time out just for you and him to come together!
katie - i had tears in my eyes over your car seat story and over you washing baby clothes! It is so close now so relax and enjoy these last few precious weeks of selfish baby time in your belly as when she is out your gonna have to fight your DH for her by the sounds!!! it IS wonderful that he is excited and so hands on!how is your mum?
paula -so glad your trip went well Byron is such a beautiful place it would be the perfect place to go under any circumstances! And i am glad it was with a friend you hold close! i too have found out all too sadly who my real friends are!
hammi -yes, my kids got to meet Jack and Madison. they fought over who was going to hold jack and absolutely studied each part of both their bodies. We felt it was important for them to meet their little brother and sister and i really think it has helped them understand even more what has happened. We have photos all together that i am putting in the scrapbook album i said i was going to make. p/s congrats on the house sale! Nice and quick!!!!
laney -i am so glad that you have evrything getting rushed through for you! You will get piece of mind more quickly. i will stick with my same Ob regardless of what monash say this thursday. i can have both. i feel very safe with my Ob as he does know me very well now and i know how hard he would work to help me have an earth baby after being so shocked at me losing Madison. they were wonderful both times after jack and madison, put me right through so no waiting with the preg women. i think you need that comfort level with your doc for sure! A few tears won't hurt him (or you!)!
syran -how are you going with your preg? hope you are still moving along nicely!
anyway -have to finish! gotta pick josh up from school!
hi to all i have missed!
x jo
I am still plotting along. Just awaiting for my first Ob appointment next Tuesday. Just praying all is OK. Havent told anybody (except a couple of girls at work as my support), not even sure about telling others until I have the big 12 weeks scan or after next Tuesday (if all goes ok)..... still tossing it up in the air.
Cindee - good luck Friday at your scan. I look forward to heart your great results.
Jo - I am so glad you found the perfect urns. But sad your crashed down. It is totally understandable though. Hope you have a good sleep tonight.
Katiegirl - How are you feeling???? I was sad to read your story about the carseat and DH. I can't wait until your little girl is in your arms and you are able to give her lots of kisses.
Tildy - thinkin gof you and Beiron's EDD.
Laney - How are you??? How did the blood test results go??? Thinking of you.
Paula - Glad you had a fantastic time at Byron and having your good friend there to support you during Charlie's EDD.
Rozzie - You will know the right time to tell everyone. How exciting feeling kicks though, I can't wait until I have that feeling.
Lan - How are you?? are you feeling all OK???.
Big hello to everyone else and hoping you are all doing well.
Just a reminder my lovelies that tomorrow is rememberance day for all of our angels. For those of you who don;'t know I have done a post HERE to explain.
Hi everyone, won't be a biggie it is my turn to deal with a sick toddler at the moment. Whoever it was that said being a parent is having your heart walk around outside your body was so right! Corey has not eaten a thing in 2 days, drinking plenty which is great, had temps on and off, but today he seems to have turned a corner, thank God. It is horrible to watch when your children are sick and I seem to let little things worry me a lot! On the up side I made an appointment with my gynae, he used to do obstetrics as well, to talk to him about Cooper's autopsy report, just to get a 2nd opinion on the possiblilty of IC, since he knows that area down there! Only thing is I can't get into him until the 6th Nov! I guess there is a lot of waiting ahead of me....
Katie - Like the other girls said, your car seat story was so special, and I am sure there is going to be more emotional rollercoasters headed your way! What I would give to have a baby 'head down', both my boys were breech, but one of the blessings Cooper gave me was the experience to birth naturally, not that there is anything wrong with sections, don't get me wrong!
Tildy - I hope you are doing OK, I have thought about you and little Beiron today.
Laney - Feeling comfortable with your Dr is a HUGE thing, are you feeling a little better?
Jo - I am so glad you got your Urns for Jack and Madison, they sound like a wonderful resting place. I hope you get some rest tonight, men, they seriously are from another bloody planet!
Paula - I hope the coming days will be kind to you too I am glad you got to have a lovely time in Byron.
Lan - Can't remember if I congratulated you on your Sale! Congrats again if I did!
Cindee - Good luck for your scan on Friday, how are your kids?
Hi to everyone else, I really have to go and see to my little man.
Tildy, I have been thinking of you all day and hoping Beiron's EDD has gone as well as it can for you. Did you end up doing anything to acknowledge the day? I have Charlie's this thursday and DH and I think we might go out for dinner and just spend some Qtime together. We also haven't put the sign up for Charlie's Garden so I thought I might do that as well.
Sue, I will have everything crossed for you on Tuesday. I'm sure you'll know when you are speaking to people if it feels right to share your news with them or not. Just go with your gut.
Jo, well done on the urns and I can totally understand you being elated one minute and upset the next. I remember getting Charlie's birth certificate and feeling so proud of her and me and our family. It was kind of like when my son brings home paintings from school. But then the next minute all those good feelings went and I couldn't stop crying.
Cindee, again I'll have everything crossed for thursday and your OB appt. You must feel some relief at being so close to 12 weeks. I know its not the milestone for us as it is for everyone else but it is still a milestone of sorts.
Rozzie, I hope things are going well for you still. Your ticker is progressing very nicely. I can understand the dilema about when to tell people. As I said to Sue, just go with your gut feel when you are talking to people, you'll know what's right.
Lan, how are you feeling about Dec and ttc. I am starting to get nervous and excited and terrified all in one. Part of me can't wait and then the other part keeps coming up with reasons why we should wait until next year. I have fallen PG in Jan for the last 2 yrs so I am not sure if it will be good or bad luck to ttc in Jan. That is why we are thinking Dec as Oct EDD's have not ended well for us with the previous two PG's. Sometimes I wish I didn't try to read so much in to everything. I just keep hoping that Charlie is looking over us and will send us an earth angel when the time is right.
Laney, have you got your results back yet. Please keep us posted. I have everything crossed hoping your levels are up and going well. I am in the same situation as you as far as OB. DH and I decided to stay living in QLD just so we could have the same OB next time. We decided it was better to have someone who knew our history and who was prepared to let us come in for scans every week if that is what we feel we need. I guess there is always a trade off with those benefits against the fact that every time we walk in his office we will be reminded of the past. I don't think those feelings can be avoided though, even if you change doctors you will still be reminded of the past.
Katie, just hugs to you for being such an inspiration to us all. We are all on the countdown with you and can't wait to welcome your baby girl into the world!
As for me, I am sitting here with an unopended envelope which I know contains Charlie's death certificate. Even typing the words makes me feel sick. I never thought I would ever have to look at one of my children's death certificates. I pray to the powers that be that I never have to again either. I don't feel like opening it today. I guess it will still be there tomorrow. Maybe I will open it Thursday on Charlie's EDD. I will already be sad.
Anyway, hugs to all and take good care of yourselves.
There seem to be a lot of bittersweet moments in the air. Jo, I'm happy you got the urns that you wanted, as I fully understand how such things can be so meaningful and important. How cool that the company called you! But of course, it's also not 100% happy, since it's not something you want to have to buy...
And Paula, having Charlie's death certificate and her EDD coming up, I'm sending you some s. The death certificate is a good thing in a sense; it's an acknowledgement on paper that you had a child, acknowledgement that you've suffered a loss... but very tough to have that in your hands as well. Take it easy and take care of yourself.
Katie, it all seems a bit overwhelming almost. All these ltitle activities that both remind you of Nathaniel and prepare you for the miracle that's on her way... yours daily activities seem very "loaded" emotionally. One thing you need to make sure you have ready -- the camera!
Here's wishing Laney, Cindee and Sue luck with upcoming test results and OB appointments, and I'll already start sprinkling some :babydustgirl: :babydustboy: on Lan and Paula and the others who are on their way to TTC. Hope things are good for everyone!
You're all so sweet for thinking of me on Beiron's EDD. Here's a cut and paste from the Preg thread about how it went:
I did okay for Beiron's EDD, sort of! I went to bed at 9pm the night before and still hadn't fallen asleep by 6:30 am, so I shot off an email to my bosses and said there was no chance I was coming to work. DH slept very poorly as well, though that's probably because of my tossing and turning or the moon phase or who knows, if he's the type to be lying and thinking about Beiron's EDD then he hides much more emotion inside than I thought!
So I stayed home from work and managed to sleep only 2 x 2 hours, so by the time DH came home we were both still soooo tired, the kind of tired where you feel sick to your stomach and pretty much CAN'T sleep. So our plan to maybe drive out to Vadstena (pretty medieval town near the big lake here) and have dinner was not really going to happen. Instead, since he'd come home early, I pleaded with him to go with me to the hardware store we'd been meaning to get to to get parts for our free-standing closets. Remodeling and moving those closets is step 1 in the many step process of rearranging our 2nd floor to make the baby's room, so it felt really good to get it done.
Once we'd gotten there and started talking with the hardware guy, DH got a bit more energy. And it helped that the hardware guy was a little flirty and gave me a free chocolate bar, which I gave to DH, so he got a little sugar and caffeine in him, too. So we drove next to the garden store and tried to look for a nice, easy-to-care for plant that we can have in our bedroom and remember Beiron by. We're really, REALLY terrible with plants, so we really asked them about what's easy to take care of and how, because I don't want this plant to die! It will just have to get more care and attention than we've ever given plants before. We settled on a Swiss Cheese plant (Monstrera something). DH's mom has one in her house that she's cared for for 40 years and it's sort of taken over a corner of the living room.
On our way home we bought pizza at the pizzeria near our old apartment and for the rest of the evening we laid in our PJs in front of the TV watching cartoons on DVD. We watched Monster's Inc., and I kept getting misty eyed, because the little dark-haired girl is too sweet and exactly what I'd love to have running around the house in a couple years. That's if my genes beat out DH's Swedish genes! Before we went to sleep I asked DH what he is looking forward to -- something we talked about every night right after losing Beiron, as it helped me calm down and go to sleep -- and I said I was looking forward to seeing what color hair our baby has. It was the first time I'd thought past the birth and forward to the individual that our baby will be. DH said he was looking forward to firsts -- crawls, steps, words -- he'll be on paternity leave from his day job when the first words come, so I bet the kid'll say something about pocket aces or so (DH is a semi-professional poker player, so I assume there will be much playing when he's on leave).
This morning we had our "high risk" OB appt., so the first OB appointment in this pregnancy that was actually planned! Everything looked super, and she seems like a fabulous lady. All my bleeding is likely due to the placenta still being low -- it's about a half centimeter from the cervical os and she says they want it to be 1 cm before they call it "normal". But there's more than plenty of time for it to move up more. But she printed us out a pic from the u/s, and it was so different! The last time we saw Beiron was 13+1, and now I'm 15+5, and you can see Kebab's spine and skull! The kid's got a creepy little smile in there, and the hands are sort of rubbing together like s/he's planning to take over the world. DH joked that I'm breeding skeletor, hehe. We saw the brain from the top as well as she was measuring the head for dates (spot on), and it was all just so cool... We're not quite as far along yet as we were with Beiron, but the "new milestones" are starting now! This doc wants us to book a new time with her in week 28, so she's not just letting me loose, either. Between now and then there are several midwife appts, and my week 19 ultrasound is in 4 weeks.
So that's my story of EDD plus moving on... I have to agree with some other ladies that have said the lead-up to the EDD was tougher than the actual day or after. Of course, I'm brewing a new bubs now, and I don't know how I would have felt if I hadn't been pregnant yet. And I did have the thought a few times yesterday that "I should have a baby now." But it didn't hurt so much. I'll always miss Beiron, but I feel more positive about the future, at least today.
Last edited by Tildy; October 14th, 2008 at 07:35 PM.
hi girls had a bit of a panic attack today i saw a bloody tinge i freaked out, DH had to calm me down. cant wait till thursday so i can see my Ob, i just want to hear my pumpkins heartbeat again it will relax me. havent seen anything since so far but its a worry. i feel ok though... so should be ok i think.
as for the kids they are getting better they all were at school today so i was all by my lonesome today, felt weird lucky DS only goes to preschool one day a week.
Hi Ladies,
I am unsure why the nurse at the office bothered to put stat on the bloods slip. They will have the results fast but that doesn't mean they will ever call me back. They were supposed to call me back yesterday and that never happened. I called early today and left a voice mail. Office hours are almost over today and still no call. I am not too worried about the bloods anyway. I know that I have a positive test and they are getting much darker at home. They really wont be able to tell very much until I go back to get bloods done a second time tomorrow morning. So I guess I wait until tomorrow to find out if my hcg levels are doing what they should. I will keep you posted.
hey!
laney -i can't believe you have had no calls back! i sometimes wonder what is going on with people in the medical profession. If they don't have an answer yet call back and say that, i find it really wrong esp in light of what your tests are for! I hope you get your answers soon but at least have the wonder of your BFPS to soothe you at home!!
cindee - hope you are ok too! there have been a few scares this time round for people but all has been ok so keep positive ok!
tildy - I think the plant idea is wonderful to remember Beiron by. And i was really happy to hear you had a great OB visit -god knows you deserve it after all you have been through this preg! i really hope it lifted you a little and I loved that you shared to convo between you and DH about "what to look forward too.."i think maybe i need to do that more with mine, esp after madison. i think we could use that future hope in our lives and i am glad you are both looking forward in such a way! Your 28 week appoint will be here before you know it! i'll still keep that cyber hug going for now...
paula - i would be the same. remember how i told you guys i got madisons birth certificate. Well, i had also in the tradition of my other kids ordered the pretty commerative one also and for her i chose one that had beautiful pastel colours with a picture of footprints at the bottom. well, i got the cylinder in the mail and the footprints are meant to be put on by ME! Included was a little note of how to do it so you could get it right the first time! So now i have a beautiful certificate at the top but a empty blank space at the bottom where her footprints could have been. I had no idea that we had to do it from what was on the form. So now i wish i had chosen the same one as i had for my other kids and not had that problem! Things just keep on coming for us! Open it when you are ready...you know its there, take your time!
hgirs - sick kids are catching as Em has worms! So we are waiting to go see the doc as the poor thing had a heap of them coming out last night and unfortuneatly are travelling to her girlie bits too which according to my googling is not good in terms of infections etc. So although she (and me) has had hardly any sleep she is quite excited to be at home with me today for all the wrong reasons!!! She has not been sleeping the last few nights and had been off her food too and been as moody as anything! So now last nights discovery explains it all! i hope all is looking up your way! your right, sick kids do tug at your heartstrings! And of course i feel guilty now for being mad at her for her impossible mood swings when it really was'nt her fault at all!!!! and nov 6th - will be just around the corner and i hope it gives you the chance to ask all the questions you need!
syran - i still had'nt told people when i lost Madison at 22 weeks. (i am one of those people that don't show until late, i had just started a tiny barely there bump when she died) all that knew were my parents, my brother and 2 friends. We had planned to tell people after THAT ultrasound. Do it when you want to, i am not sure what i would do next time round, would probably be just a cautious cos thats who i am now. And your first OBs appointment on tues! that is exciting for you!!
rozzie - are you going ok???
hammi - shout out to you!!!
katie - give that belly a rub for me!!!
well, my big appointment at monash is tomorrow. i have a nice early wake up to look forward to! and just thinking about it gives me butterflies...i hope he is as lovely as the other guy! will let you know how i go!
thinking of all our angel babies today!
take care girls!
xx jo
Last edited by jo76; October 15th, 2008 at 09:55 AM.
: spelling was terrible!!!!! typing fingers need to wake up!
Hi Ladies,
Someone from the doctors office finally called me back. My hcg levels are good from Monday. Now I just have to wait for them to let me know if they went up like they should. The really crappy thing is that I am starting to have a reaction to the Lovenox. Just now it starts after 2 months. I am getting hives around the injection sites. They itch like crazy. There wasn't a doctor in the office when I talked to the nurse today so they will call me back tomorrow morning. The nurse thinks that the doctor will most likely keep me on the Lovenox unless the reaction gets worse. If it does I might have to switch to something else. I refuse to stop taking blood thinners.
hey girls!
hgirs - well done on the ticker!i look forward to it moving forward and watching your progress as well as hearing about it!
syran -so glad all is well with you to!!!! i love that bubs was wiggling so much they could'nt measure forr awhile! GREAT signs!!!
laney -glad they got back to you and i hope you get another answer soon about the hives!!If you HAVE to go off it-hopefully there is another a blood thinner option. (not sure whats out there!!)
Well i went to monash this morning and spoke to prof wallace who was wonderful and compassionate and very straight forward about what the future holds for us. he said he has probably dealt with about half a dozen couples in about 8 years that have had healthy kids and then suffer such late losses. he said it normally happens that you have your losses and then BFP that lead to a healthy preg. So i am in the hard category as he said i have all the blood tests i need and they are normal and she was normal except that she was very underweight (although her length was good) so he thinking although testing has'nt shown it, it still may have something to do with the placenta implantation/blood flow/nutrients flow etc. He asked about everything, work, moving house when, where. what, why? Comparing josh and Em pregs to Jack and Madison. So he said he wants me to when we want to try again, go on asprin from mid cycle and then if i get my period, stop until mid cycle again and if/when i fall pregnant to stay on it. He said they would get me in asap (within a week of my BFP) to do an early ultrasound to check heartbeat and then again at 10 weeks to check placenta implantation. Then ongoing ultrasounds as each thing needs to be checked off by them. He said there is alot of different things at different stages of preg that can be monitered by a more specialized ultrasound. He spoke about the heprain (sp?) injections and said that they could be possibly started asap after falling preg. He did'nt say i had to go it but def did'nt rule it out. He said the decision would be made when i went back with a bFP. He said eventhough testing had'nt produced a need for it, it may be better to take as a help/prevention to try and get the outcome we want. He said without ANY positive test results on her, me or the placenta he could'nt even give a ball park figure for success. He said he would like me to be in their care and gave me a number to get directly through to help if i had questions before or after BFP. I would be seeing him which makes me happy as he is as close to as top as you can go with obsterics care in VIC and sits on several health and research boards relating to womens health. Not saying that seeing him would mean a good outcome but i would be in good hands to try. i would still see my OB as he said if the preg was going well i could go to the hospital i had all the others at or if it was high risk i would be in monash. he said he is hopeful because i have had 2 healthy kids but he said he won't say it won't happen again like i had already heard from other medical staff. So now i need to officially have the talk with DH as mum said she really is'nt sure he will want to go back and was surprised to hear i would. She is really worried about the effect it would have on our relationship if we lost another baby. I said i have to have one last try and if it does'nt work out again i could'nt ever go through it all again. But if it did work out then...
so i have lots of thinking and talking....and i am back to being stressed and nervous and completely terrified ! Poor em had to come with me and she asked why i was going to the doc/hospital and i said to see if they kow why madison died and to see if we can have another baby. So i called dad on the way to let him know i was going and i handed her the phone to which she promptly said "mum is having another baby". Dad was on speaker phone and he almost had a heartattack! (he has REALLY felt both losses) When i got back on the phone i said i am not having a baby and he said i thought there was something you had'nt told me and nervously laughed! Then on the way she said "after we pick up our baby..." She was so confused! Did'nt help when we got there preg women and babies were everywhere! And so there is another reason to be careful...
Take care guys! sorry for ANOTHER long one from me!
xxx
Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Late Loss/Recurrant Miscarriage October
I hope you are doing OK, I have thought about you and little Beiron today.
I am glad you got to have a lovely time in Byron.
Bookmarks