Hi Jo, our posts must have crossed over. I think xmas is going to be a killer for all of us. Ethan asked what Charlie would get for xmas. I told him we could buy her something nice and he then said 'but mummy, how will we get it up in the sky to her'! Speaking of Ethan, on the weekend DH said we might all go for a bike ride (we didn't as I was too lazy!) and Ethan said 'yeah and baby Charlie can come too, she can fly next to us' he then went on to say 'i think she's saying yes, she would love that'.
btw, what sort of drugs are your in'laws on. they need a serious slapping, especially your MIL. Is there anyway you can take time off work so you guys can go away over xmas. How horrible if you have to spend such a tough day with such hideous people. As far as your emotions go, the good thing with kids is that they are so excited by xmas that it will take a lot to bing them down. If you're a bit sad and explain to them that you are just missing Madison and Jack then I'm sure they will get it. They sound like pretty sensitive kids and obviously miss their brother and sister a lot. The other good thing about kids is that their excitement and happiness is so infectious. I am counting on that getting me through.
Anyway, take care and feel free to slip arsenic in MILs coffee, none of us will tell. If I was there I would do it for you!!
Paula - once again your Ethan has just floored me with the beautiful relationship he has with Charlie. I had tears running down my face when I read your post. It must be such a comfort to hear him talk to freely about your daughter. You have been blessed with 2 beautiful little souls. Thank you for sharing that story, it has made my day.
Jo - your in-laws sound so incredibly challenging. I can't understand how people can be so selfish when they know that people close to them are suffering and in pain. If you want to spend Christmas away from them, then just do it. Your DH can say that this year you want to have a quiet Christmas as it has been a rough 2 years. If they get upset, then so be it! The inability of some people to step outside of themselves and walk in anothers' shoes is just mind blowing. As if your poor DH needed to be pounded with all those questions, especially after his mother has offered zero support to date. I really should consider myself lucky that I have good in-laws! I hope you are doing ok and try not to let their insensitivity get to you. I know that is hard, and I found myself dwelling over some peoples' insensitivity as I think it gave me a place to vent my anger, but it didn't really help me much. Take care and thank you for being so lovely about my pregnancy. I know it must be hard and I really appreciate that you can be so kind as to offer me support. It means so much to me.
Ok, I really need to get back to cleaning. I think I am missing the nesting gene. I seem to have made our place messier than it has been. I feel like I need to clean out every cupboard (big task and one I have put off for 2 years!) but once I get started the job seems to big. Aaghhh. So I need to at least finish some of what I have started. There is stuff lying around everywhere!!! I had myself thinking on Sat that I would go into labour, but now I just put that down to wishful thinking. Pretty sure I have at the least another week or 2 left in me. I am starting to get uncomfortable, but I refuse to complain too much as this is my every wish come true.
Hi to all, sorry for lack of personals. Thank you all for your excitement, it is contagious!
Jo, your in-laws sound awful. Just awful. I would not be spending Christmas with them no matter how bad the repercussions, but then I've never had to deal with irrational family. Can you make something up, like you expect to be in a bad way emotionally and don't want to inflict that on them? It's amazing how your DH could have come from that family.
Paula, your son is so sweet.
Happy TTC to Paula and Lan!!! I'm so looking forward to your BFP announcements.
Hi to Katie, Tildy, Cindee Sue and anyone else forgotten due to a bad case of baby brain.
I'm good, had our friend over last night and it was fun. I told him (I'm showing anyway) and it was fine, he didn't ask any questions about what happened, I think he just didn't know how. I think I'll have to start wearing maternity leave next week I noticed another girl at work started wearing it today, so there will be three of us, and I do not want them to ask me about the pregnancy... I would suggest newly pregnant women are the last ones who want to hear about what happened!! Naivity is bliss. I got an email this morning from a lady I used to work with, she saw in the system I'd just returned from maternity leave and wanted to know what I had, names etc. I really thought I'd gotten to the stage where I could tell someone what happened without getting teary, but no, I still did, and that was only by email!!! Hence why I'm dreading donning the maternity uniform, it will prompt more comments/questions. I had a moment of abject panic over the weekend, thinking what if etc... but managed to calm myself down. I expected to feel more movement by now, it's still very sporadic and light, so I am sooooooo glad I have my doppler to reassure myself that bubs is still ok.
I'm not sleeping well at present, which is odd because I'm so tired. not sure what to do about that.
By the way, has anyone seen that ad for Fernwood with Julia Morris starting a program at about 6 months pregnant? It gives me the irrits, she's doing weights and talking about 'not letting herself go'. Can we at least leave pregnant women's self esteem intact unlike the majority of other women???
Hi everybody, we just had a weekend away camping so I have missed out on all you girls! Well I think my MS is starting to kick in, a little later than normal but it's here! Although I said to my FIL the other day, I couldn't care if I was sick the whole 9 months as long as I get to bring this one home. I have had both my mother and MIL ringing me nearly every day to see if I am OK, it is nice but starting to make a bit batty! I just broached the subject of Xmas with mum as we normally go out to their property, about 4 hours west of Brissy. I have said that I would prefer to stay here, so I think they should all come down here, which was fine. last Xmas I was 7 wks with Cooper, we were towing our camper van and the bloody tow bar snapped! Our camper went off into the side grassed area finally stopping under a tree with hardly a scratch on it! Thank god it didn't go the other way into the traffic. Then at dinner time, I started bleeding A LOT, which settled after about 2 hours, I was sure I had lost him then. So I can sympathize with everyone on the whole XMAS thing, I am not sure I am looking forward to it on some levels either.
Rozzie - It is weird telling people isn't it? I told my sister today, their reaction annoyed me, she was all very bubbly and telling me how I have to 'just think positive'. I am reading way too much into it I know, but it just hit home that she really has no idea about what I have been through. I am seriously thinking about emailing Fernwood and giving them a piece of my mind about that ad! Glad I'm not the only one bothered by it.
Katie - Nesting WOW!!
Paula - I am glad Charlie's EDD went OK and you had a nice time with DH, hugs for the next day though, I sometimes get that horror that just floods me. Ethan is such a special boy.
Tildy - I hope you guys don't get anymore bad news, doesn't the world know you don't need it?? We are a bit concerned as well, we have 2 investment properties that we really struggled with last year, we are seriously thinking about selling one off soon, I just don't need the extra stress, we won't really make a cent but at least it will free up some cash flow. I hope things settle for you.
Sue - The NT is scary, but you are right they have such high false results, but I am sure it will be fine.
Lan - Are you getting excited???
Jo - Your inlaws sound alot like one of my friends, they no longer speak and the sad thing is they haven't seen two of the three children, it amazes me how pride could possibly be more important than children.
Hi to everyone else I have forgotten, I am just about falling asleep and need to go shower, etc.
Bye
Helen -- no matter how people react when they find out that I'm pregnant again, it mostly seems to irritate me. I've had reactions like your sister's -- bubbly and all positive and stuff. I'm sorry, but I just hate bubbly. I'm fully anti-bubble. I get nervous when people are excited and in this case feel even more pressure than normal to be wholly un-like myself and try to bubble back -- and of course, I fail. But when people are all reserved and stuff I get mad, because SOMEONE has to be happy for me if I'm not yet. On Friday we were out at a bar listening to some friends' band play (deja vu AGAIN -- we did the same last time on the same day of the pregnancy!) and THREE pregnant friends/friends' wives were there. All of them came over and congratulated me, and I was just... UGH. Not only do I not know them very well (and I suspect they don't know so much about our miscarriage), but they're all more pregnant than I am, and on the heals of our EDD, that actually just made me angry. I was angry at them for the fact that they're going to have babies before me even though I was "first" and just wanted them to go away and stop talking to me! :P
Rozzie -- Yes, the doppler really is a great thing, I'm glad you wrote about it so that I bought one, too! I haven't felt any movement yet, so I'm glad I can listen to the little heartbeat every night and then remind myself that there's still plenty of time left before Kebab is supposed to be doing sommersaults. I read somewhere that it can take longer before you feel the movements if you're overweight, and though I don't get why that would be, it could mean that I have a while yet before I feel anything definite. I've also been having trouble sleeping despite being very tired, and I remember a similar develop last time. It's sort of hard to get comfortable. MIL said "if you think it's hard to get comfortable NOW!" of course.
Katie -- I started with the nesting already! As far as rearranging furniture and stuff, that is; cleaning has gone seriously down the tubes in our house. DH has, rather than cleaning more given that I'm tired, cleaned less than he usually does because he and I have far too much synnergy there... if I'm slacking then he slacks. But this weekend I sort of had a new wave of energy, and I cleaned and we moved the wardrobes out of our "cat room" (yes, the cats had their own room, while we waited to fill up rooms with kids!) and into our bedroom. I'm so pleased with how it turned out, as it's just lovely to have a "new" bedroom and it's so much nicer to have our clothes right there in our own room! But I know what you mean about messing things up -- after our efforts, the OTHER 3 bedrooms are all in chaos! But, you know, baby steps... toward a baby room!
Mrs Robbo, I have to agree than Ethan seems like a little gem! I have never had kids around me in my life, so I don't have a good radar for what kinds of things they might or might say, but I'm just floored by some of his comments (and by those from Jo's kids about Jack and Madison!).
Jo, I hate to hear that your relationship with DH's family is making things worse for you at a time when you need people who help you make things better. It's always such a tough road to walk with in-laws, because those are the relationships you sort of have the least control over -- you can tell even your own mother to f*** off if you so choose but the in-laws are not yours to discard! I feel very lucky in that sense because I have super in-laws, and DH is lucky that I want less to do with my own family than he does, so he doesn't get thrust into their psychosis too often. The most important thing in other words is that DH supports you when it comes to them, so that if you need to be home alone for Christmas (and it's okay to need that!) then he will take that conversation with them himself and the eventual fall-out. Hmm, you could even make use of a little white lie there -- if she insists that you need to see a counselor, you could say that you took her advice and that the counselor urged you guys to spend Christmas alone!
Hammi - we think about you every day, too!
Sue -- that's a lot of worry you have to handle over the NT scan/amnio etc. questions. I can't think of anything intelligent to say about it, but I wanted to let you know I am sympathetic and hoping for the best, whatever you decide to do!
Jo, You and your DH have the right to be a little selfish this Christmas. You do not need the extra stress on you or your relationship. Just remember that you have both been through a lot and your family will understand. Even if they don't act like it, they do love you and want the best for you. My DH and I decided to have a quiet Christmas at home this year too. Our Families are very important to us but trying to visit everyone would just be too stressful this year.
I am not trying to pressure you into heparin. I know that it is a huge decision and not for everyone. I know that you haven't even talked to you DH about giving pregnancy another try yet. I am just the kind of person that is always thinking two steps ahead. I guess for others as well as for myself. Just remember that the doctors have no idea if heparin would help you or even me. They really don't know everything to test for yet either. It might be the miracle drug that will fix my mystery problem or yours. There really is no way of knowing unless you try it, it is the same with any drugs they give us.
Rozzie, I hate telling people that I am pregnant. I was so excited to tell everyone about Parker. I left work when I was pregnant with Parker, I was ready to stay home with him. I just can't bring myself to start working outside the house again. I don't have to deal with all of the coworkers asking about my pregnancy and having to explain another loss. If I start working again it almost feels like I am giving up hope of bringing home a baby.
Helen, I pretty much hate telling people that I am pregnant just because I don't want to deal with their reactions. I have decided that I don't even want to talk about my losses or pregnancy with my mother. Every time I talk to her she tells me some story she was told about someone else?s loss. She even told her doctor about what has happened to my DH and me. She doesn't even know all of the specifics (which she would get wrong even if she did know them) but she thinks her doctor can give me a diagnosis. She keeps telling me not to give up hope, which makes me so angry for some reason. I yelled at her the other day and asked her if she has ever had to hold her dead baby. I feel bad about it but she wouldn't back off.
Katie, I am glad that you are getting so excited. You might have to get used to the house being a little messier than usual. Once your little one comes home I am sure staying organized is going to be even more difficult.
Hi to all that I missed.
As for me. My hcg level are doing great. The nurse said they more than doubled. She also said that it is most likely just one in there so my dream about twins was just that, a dream. I have my ultrasound next Monday. Exactly a week from right now. I will be 7 weeks and a couple of days so not too much to look at. It will pretty much be to help me calm down a little and for accurate dates.
I found out over the weekend that my sister is pregnant. I was a little upset about how I found out. She didn't even call me to tell me. She posted a ticker on her myspace page. I know that it must be difficult for her to tell me something like that but there are better ways for me to find out. She will be less than a week behind me. I am a little scared about her EDD being so close to mine. What if something doesn't go right with my pregnancy again? I don't think I would ever be able to be near her or the baby. I don't really want to talk to her about it yet because I will be forced to tell her that I am pregnant again. I would rather wait a little while before I tell everyone.
hi!
you guys were busy yesterday!!!I thought i would jump on for a quick read and now if i reply to you all i'll be late!!
just want to say a quick thanks for your support on the in law thing -my FIL is wonderful, it is the MIL and DHs brother and SIL and that are the issue now. i'll write more later as i am gonna get into something long!
take care!
x jo
p/s paula hope you got some answers from your specialist!!!
Thank you all for your excitement, it is contagious!
I noticed another girl at work started wearing it today, so there will be three of us, and I do not want them to ask me about the pregnancy... I would suggest newly pregnant women are the last ones who want to hear about what happened!! Naivity is bliss. I got an email this morning from a lady I used to work with, she saw in the system I'd just returned from maternity leave and wanted to know what I had, names etc. I really thought I'd gotten to the stage where I could tell someone what happened without getting teary, but no, I still did, and that was only by email!!! Hence why I'm dreading donning the maternity uniform, it will prompt more comments/questions. I had a moment of abject panic over the weekend, thinking what if etc... but managed to calm myself down. I expected to feel more movement by now, it's still very sporadic and light, so I am sooooooo glad I have my doppler to reassure myself that bubs is still ok. 
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