Firstly I want to thank you all for being so understanding. I know I was pretty negative yesterday, but I think it is just a "protective" act.
and also want to thank you all for your positive thoughts, I really do appreciate it.
Well, went to the Dr's yesterday and it took me a while to get around to telling her. I was going on about progesterone and the spotting etc etc and then I suddenly burst out that I did a test and got a light positive.
Well she also wanted to do a test and again it was lighter than normal (but darker than mine which was done in the morning and yesterday I drank 2 ltrs of water), though she did mention that I am only just 4 weeks and that could be the reason and depending on when the embryo implanted.
So she is checking for viability, I had a blood test done yesterday at 4pm and on Wednesday I have to go and have another blood test at 4pm.
Yesterday night I started feeling some cramps etc, and bb's are feeling a bit sore, so hopefully these are good signs.
Sue, I'm reeeaaallly hoping this baby sticks for you. I don't see why not though, all your signs and symptoms sound good to me so far. A word of warning from me though, charting after a BFP can do your head in- I did it for ages and would worry when I thought it wasn't high enough that my progesterone was low. It was actually a ridiculous high of 202 at 7 weeks so you just can't tell.
It's hard to know when to celebrate isn't it? But still, YAY!!! I hope the blood tests come back with great numbers.
Sue - I won't say congratulations just yet as I can sense you are keeping this lowkey (understandable), but I will send you massive amounts of positive and sticky vibes! I think your symptoms sound good. I know I have told everyone this a million times...but I did not test until 4-5 days after AF was late, and I got a BFN. I tested in the afternoon (at work go figure) with weak urine but even still the BFN was a shock. I then tested the next morning and got a very faint positive, same again the morning after. So a whole week after AF was due I went to the GP and she did a test, once again in the afternoon, and she got a faint positive. She took a blood test and told me that if I felt anxious over the weekend, to do another test to see if it was a stronger positive. So I went off and bought a different test (Discover Onestep) and the next morning woke at 5:30 and tested and got a really strong BFP. So I was 1 whole week past AF until I got a strong result. Plus on the day AF was due I had a temp drop like you, and then the temp continued to rise again. The fact that your temp is still way above the coverline is a good sign. Like you I also had the cramping and I assumed it meant AF was on its way, and now look at me 30 weeks later! So there you have it. Big hugs and hang in there. It would be lovely to get another BFP in here. We have been very lucky of late with the TTC mob.
Sue that is so exciting. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to stay positive but try and enjoy your BFP. i'm not quite up with all the BB thingies but i'm sending you sticky dust or whatever it is that you send people when they get a BFP Please keep us posted with the progress!
hey girls,
again sorry i have been MIA for the last few days. Have been lurking but my mind has been a bit all over the place again and i had a sook at mum and dads this morning (unintentionally). So then my poor dad got a bit upset and worried and i thought i need to get on here again and have a read. (re:silent support!)
First tho, you guys are really quite wonderful, thank-you for your thoughts for Friday, it turned out for those not in MELB to be a beautiful morning. I had a horrid previous 24 hours. we had asked to have her at home the night before and the morning they bought her i was a mess. Her coffin was so perfect and small and i was heartbroken to see our child there whne i opened it. Although i really struggled it was good for me to be able to see her and say goodbye on my own. I am really grateful for that extra time with her. When i first woke and even when we first got to the cemetary we could see some fog in the rose gardens but by the time we were ready to start the sun just came out for us which really made things sit a little better for me. I really needed it to be a nice day for her, it was a small strange comfort to me after watching the weather obsessively all week leading up. Judy who took the service was so wonderful and gentle in her words again and just goes above and beyond her job! We feel very blessed to have stumbled across her as her approach is so, so personal. She even bought a pamphlet for Dan about male grieving as she was'nt sure how he was dealing with everything. The kids released love heart balloons with roses attached, the pink one took off into the sky (i saw it as a sign due to the colour) but the white one hung around. My dad had a fiddle and then soon enough it was off as well. My step mum (in law) did'nt come as she had worked the night before and wanted to sleep as she was tired. We are most likely having to go over to there place this weekend for fathers day but to be honest i really don't feel i can deal with her. (Yes Katie, the hurt from it has finally stepped in!) It will be the first time i have seen her since Madison died and i'm not sure i can deal with that or her attempt at being supportive, sorry, that i will get!I do feel blessed that i could buy Madison an outfit and dress her like a mum does and get to place our book and a toy for her. (with Jack and madison i made a small scrapbook with photos of them with us and messages written from dan and i and pictures from the kids for them to be cremated with. I also have a snap heart necklaces and wear the half from each of theirs that they wore, around my neck) Dan and Josh took her over to the crematorium as we wanted to and did last time. We just doid'nt want anyone else to be the ones to do it. Josh really wanted to be a part of helping this time so it was touching to see Dan and our 2 kids (em had to tag along) take their sister over and say a final goodbye.
But i still cannot stop that countdown in my head, every new week, i am saying to myself 26 weeks, she would have been ok now...doing that damn countdown, to what?!!? Its almost a self torture that i continue to make myself go through, clinging on to something that can only exist and live on in my heart now. I have taken this week off work as well. (which is what i got upset about at mums) I have my long service coming up in Oct so want to go back for that but my heart is not there anymore. I really am not phased if i don't go back. Huge words for a workaholic! I have always drowned myself in work whenever something has gone wrong in my life, it has been my way of dealing with things but this time i am still holding that fear of going back and i am not sure why. I almost feel like i am at that waiting for the first day of school again. Its that unknown nervousness. I don't know if it makes sense but there it is...
as for you guys, i am on facebook too so if you see a Jo asking to be your friend its me! (i am in a photo with josh on mine!)
quick personals as i have well and truely taken over this posting!!!
sue - congrats to you, i am keeping fingers and toes crossed for a sticky bubs! It really is wonderful news!!! Try and be positive, i just read an article oin the wekend about fertility etc and although easier said than done sometimes, it rang true how far it can go for us!!
hgirs -try facebook, its easy and trust me i am clueless when it comes to things like that! hope you are going ok!!!
mrs robbo - please pack me in your suitcase, i would love a holiday to relax(although not so romantic for you and DH!lol!) and get some sun. Dunk Island is suposed to be beautiful!!!!!!We are still talking about one and will probably get over to Cook islands (we love it there) or fiji early next year. It will be great for you guys to do so if i don't get a chance to say right before you go - HAVE A GREAT TIME!!! (for me....!lol!) I also read your post about the parvo virus, i was tested for this in preg as my daughter got it, (from child care!!) when I see my OB next i will ask him if he ever got the results as i saw my GP but asked that the results get sent to my OB instead. I got told by my GP that it is'nt cosidered a problem but then that week in one of those weekly updates you can get sent with your bubs development etc it had a part about that. So of course it had that it is a problem in pregnancy and had different reasons for why it is so bad at the beg and the middle. i thought i would always wait to see my OB again as our GP was'nt concerned but then that appointment did'nt end up happening...
Hammi - how are you going? your statement about this site -i could have written it. So strange, but wonderful, how we are so bonded yet have never met? I am always thinking about people in here and have now found myself talking to my mum about how some of you are going even tho she has NO idea about this site or who any of you are!You are sounding so much more positive in every way of late - it does sound like you are getting to a good place!!!
tildy - i have said it before-you have amzing strength. I would be in a collapsed heap if i had to deal with what you have, and yet you continue to fight and believe and step forward!! I am so happy this bubs of yours is sharing your fighting spirit and it all seems to be false alarms!
rozzie and danek - hope you are well also and are on the way up too!
far too long a post! this is what happens when you lurk and don't post enough! Hope you grabbed a coffee (or water for those preg girls!) and got in a comfy chair for this one!
x jo
good to hear from you and I'm glad Maddison's service was how you wanted. Every week I did the 'how many weeks would I be' countdown, like you I knew it was pointless and painful, but couldn't help it.
I'm glad you have another week off, i hope when you do go back it's when you feel ready.
I also tell people about what's happening to you girls. I remember when I told my husband about Maddison he was so devastated, even though he didn't know you. Shared pain is so powerful.
Anyway, to you, there's not much you can do but take one day at a time right now, but know that we're all here for you.
Hi Jo, I am so pleased Friday went beautifully for you. I agree with the others, you are an amazing Mum. I wish I had thought of the heart necklace idea, what a wonderful way to keep your connection with your angel babies strong and close to your heart. Please take good care of yourself at this time, just do whatever you think you can handle. People will understand and if they don't then they're not worth worrying about.
Registered User
Please keep us posted with the progress!
I do feel blessed that i could buy Madison an outfit and dress her like a mum does and get to place our book and a toy for her. (with Jack and madison i made a small scrapbook with photos of them with us and messages written from dan and i and pictures from the kids for them to be cremated with. I also have a snap heart necklaces and wear the half from each of theirs that they wore, around my neck) Dan and Josh took her over to the crematorium as we wanted to and did last time. We just doid'nt want anyone else to be the ones to do it. Josh really wanted to be a part of helping this time so it was touching to see Dan and our 2 kids (em had to tag along) take their sister over and say a final goodbye.
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