Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Recurrent Miscarriage/Late Loss

:dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:

OMG Theresa, I am so happy for you. Oh I wish I had someone to hug right now. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo happy I don't know what to do with myself.

:cheer::cheer::cheer:

I wish you 40 weeks of uneventfulness then a fat screaming baby at the end. Yay!

I'm at home on a self imposed mental health day today. I've been upset since Monday. Am furious at DH for not understanding what I feel (even though I'm not really sure what I feel that's different to usual). Spent all last night crying by myself and hating everything.

Had a talk with DH this morning. Actually, more of a shout and cry at each other. Not a good month. Today is CD14, I kind feel anxious to miss an O day but with my mental state, I don't think any sperms will want to hook up with my egg anyway. So I'm going to cease and desist this month and try not to think about TTC-ing (as if!).

How ironic, I've got my CD on shuffle and it's playing the song we used at Hamish's service. The chorus goes "I'm so hollow. Hollow in my heart. Hollow in my soul. Because I'm so hollow with sorrow..."

So I think I'm going to go underground from BB for a while in a vain attempt to not think babies all the time. Not sure how long I can stay away from you guys for but I feel I should do something.

Diana - raincheck our date this Sat until I'm nicer to talk to?

Love you all.

so here I was catching up on everyone's posts and thinking it was tomorrow that Theresa was POAS and the whole time her BFP was sitting right there down the list!! I am beside myself with excitement. It seems like so long since we have had a BFP in here that its like the first time all over again. Theresa you have started a new trend in here and all us ttc girls are hot on your tail!! Enjoy your day today and send some of your BFP vibes our way pleeeeeeeeeeeease!!

Diana: 22 days PG, you go girl. How awesome if you got a BFP pre IVF. We're on a roll in here now so you never know!

Teagz: First AF is such a confusing time. I can remember how desperate I was just to be PG again straight after I lost Charlie and each AF reminded me that I wasn't. One thing I can say now is that I am still desperate to be PG but having had that bit of time in between has helped me build my confidence about this next pregnancy. I know its a catch 22 but it truly does mean you have at least another month to mend your body and your heart.

Jo: I am so excited re your psychic session. I do hope you get lots of positive news for us. I'm not sure if I mentioned that I went to see 2 psychics. The second one predicted I would have a boy (first one a girl) and then have a 3rd bub which DH and I have absolutely no plans for. She did say though that I am involved in a support group with other women that is really important to me... at least she was right about that!! Make sure you tell us exactly what she says. Will you get a chance to talk to Jack and Madison? If you do, say hi from all of us xox

Tildy: what a superstar mum you are. 29 weeks and flying. Sound like you should be the pin up girl for 29 weekers. I was so thrilled to read your post and hear you sounding so positive and confident. Good on you!

Megan: I know I should know but where are you at with ttc. I feel like I have missed all your updates. Please fill me in. Aren't you around the same time as the rest of us??

Helen, Jo, Diana, Tildy: re the exams. I finished my law degree so am a lawyer, but I need to get admitted to practice in the Supreme Court. I had to do a total of 5 exams and a few other bits and pieces. I have done 4 with 1 more to go tomorrow. Perfect timing so I can relax and start focusing on growing this bambini which is now 3 days old!!

Hi to everyone else. Back to the books for me, but will be using this site to procrastinate throughout the day so please post lots of interesting stuff for me to read!!

Oh Lan, you sound terrible. Please don't leave us. Of course I understand that you need space. How awful that you have to go through such a yucky time. I was only thinking yesterday after I read everyone's post what a good mood it put me in.

I remember not so long ago when I was lurking around here and I used to get on the computer in the wee hours of the morning and read everyone's stories and just cry and cry and cry. It was such an emotional time.

Now I feel like this thread has such a positive vibe about it and is a source of joy rather than sadness. I guess it is easy to forget how quickly we can be brought crashing back to sadness. I often say to people who ask how I'm doing that I never knew how close tears could be to the surface. I hardly ever used to cry and now it doesn't take much at all No matter how happy I am, I am still only a heartbeat away from being an absolute mess.

I think you should go and cry and throw as many tanty's as you want. Know that we all love you beyond belief and will be here for you whenever you need us. We all need to take a break every now and then. As long as you don't go getting any BFP and not telling us!

I'm feeling really good today so I will send you some of my good vibrations (picture me singing that to the Beach Boys tune in my hawaiin outfit sipping on a (non alcoholic in order of me being 17 days PG) margarita.... oooh and give me a nice suntan as well.)

There... done... you are officially good vibrated!

xox

For some reason, I can't get on to page 1 so sorry if I have missed any posts after my previous one this morning.

Paula, best of luck with the last exam tomorrow. I studied Law for a year and felt it wasn't my path at that time - stupid idiot. I totally regret not finishing now but I was young and stupid and just wanted to travel the world, not read books as thick as bricks.

Lan darling, I am really worried about you. I wish I could give you a great big hug but for now you will have to settle for a cyber one :comfort::hug: We will catch up whenever you are ready however I do have broad shoulders in case you change your mind.

We all understand your need for space so take as much time as need but remember we are all here for you if you change your mind within an hour or so.

Unfortunately, just when we see a wee bit of light at the end of the tunnel, someone switches it off. I think we will always go through this roller coaster of emotions until we meet and hug our angel babies again.

Take as much time off as you need, cry and shout and try not to let this process affect your relationship with DH. As we have all discussed before, they are on an entirely different planet when it comes to dealing with this stuff and we will never make them understand how entirely shattered we feel - from both losing our babies to the whole TTC process. I mean lets be honest, they have one job to do and to top it all off, we tell them when to do it!

Please take care of yourself and I am only an email, phone call or website away if you need someone who totally understands how you feel and will have a good cry with you.

Lan :hug: DF and I had a bit of a tantrum at each other last night over similar things. I was up all night bawling my eyes out as well ^^;
Males handle this whole thing alot different to us, and I don't think they'll fully understand what we go through. I think because their roll as parent doesn't kick in until bub is here, where as ours starts as soon as we see a BFP on a pg test.
Last night DF chucked a darky because he's sick of babies being out main topic of interest, and although he say's he understands, he's sick of me crying when on occassions I have no idea what I'm crying for, and he's sick of people in our lives constantly asking how I'm coping, and not asking about him - I don't understand where he's going with that though because he says he's had enough of talking about it anyway!? :shrug:
Just remember there is a little community here that understands almost exactlys what you're going through, if you ever needs us you know where we are! :D

AFM. Work blows & AF is giving me crappy cramps :rolleyes:

:leap: Congratulations Theresa!!!!! :leap:

What a happy happy way to start the thread! May the next 9 months be safe and happy! You deserve this my love... :hug:

Hi Lan,

I totally understand where you are coming from. Remember I wasnt there too long ago myself and saying exactly the same things (though I didnt last to long.....)

Take the time for what you have to do. Though we will miss you heaps and love you lots, you need to do what is best for you.

Remember we are always here with a listening ear and big hugs to give.

xxx Sue xxx

Sue, I'm just curious.. and don't answer if you don't want to! But did you fall pg with Lilly naturally or through IVF?

I am a bit late but........YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For Theresa! My God I do hope you have the most boring uneventful 9 months, I am so excited for you!
Lan - Big hugs for you, I understand about needing some time out, I thought I did too, but just can't seem to stay away!
Sue - What is going on with your ticker? Cause I see you have your first one back, did yours play up too? Mine has disappeared into cyber space, must check it out again.
Hi to all, hoping TM and Stickybaby are doing OK.
Paula - I see FF has changed your chart to reflect what all us 'pros' had to say!

Congrats to theresa for the BFP.. im hoping to see more soon.:bluedust::pink-babydust:

as for my next ultrasound it'll be in 3 weeks when im 27weeks, bit nervous cos, that's the gestation i lost my little boy. but im trying to stay positive. things seem great this time.
children can survive being born early, my second daughter was born at 27 weeks and shes really healthy now....

best wishes to all.
love cindee

Helen, yes my FF chart has updated. I always knew you girls would be right. What a knowledable bunch we are. I'm a bit worried about BD dates though. With all these exams this week there has been no bedroom action. Hopefully 2 days prior will be ok.

Cindee: i'm sure your next scan will go swimmingly and imagine how relieved you'll feel after that. Wow, I didn't know DD was born at 27 weeks. That must have been quite stressful. Can I ask what happened. Was it anything related to Precious and Hope??

miss robbo: my daughter was born early because i got pregnancy induced hypertension(BP) and i got pre-eclampsia on top of that which meant i was a walking time bomb.
i still get hypertension with every pregnancy, I've had my medication upped in the last week,so I'm only hoping that i can last till at least 30-34 weeks then ill be happy. if i make it further it'll be lovely.
i lost my last boy because the doctor i was seeing wasn't watching him close enough and he prescribed the wrong medication. so i have now switched doctors and i have a fabulous lady doctor now who sees me quite regularly. as she seems to know what she is doing. and i have 2 other doctors which i see nearly weekly. so I'm pretty confident that things will be ok. but it still sits in the back of your mind "what if?"

Wow, that's horrible about having such a dodgy doc, especially when the stakes are so high. Sounds like you're in safe hands now though. I'll send lots of positive vibes that you get to feel all the joy and discomfort of being 40wks PG!

Thanks, id better go now my feet are puffing up from the heat. ill have to put them up for a few minutes. talk soon
love cindee:thumbsup:

Hi gorgeous girls,

Teagz, Lily was natural. I went to have a frozen embryo put in and unfortunately little frostie didnt come out of freezing, but I got pregnant naturally that month. So she is my little miracle.

Helen - yes my ticker went haywire as well, so I change it. I loved my ticker, but unfortunately it wasnt updating and disappeared. How are you going???

Cindee - wow 27 weeks. I am so glad you have a much better Dr looking after you now. I had an issue with an Ob as well, sometimes we have to "stand up" to them, as we know our bodies best.

Wow it is hot again in Adelaide. I went to my GP this afternoon and she has given me a letter saying that if I want to reduce my hours it would be beneficial for me and bubs. Yippee so I can now access all the 936 hours of sick leave now....

Have a good day girls.

xxx Sue xxx

936hrs, how does that work, i need to be on that sort of deal!!

hey girls!
tried to write first thing this morning and it would not let me post.:wall:
but congrats to Theresa!!!! we needed this to happen so i am very excited for you! wishing you the most uneventful happy preg for the next 9 months!:dance::clap:
xx jo

Hoooooooooooooray !!!!!!!! :leap:Huge Congratulations Theresa :happyforyou:!! That is the most exciting news I've had for a long time ! I'm so happy for you and Julian, you deserve this baby so much. I hope that you have a very healthy and long pregnancy. I just had this feeling you were pregnant :dance:!!!

Lots of love and huge hugs

Beata xxxx