Trying to Conceive after Stillbirth/Recurrent Miscarriage/Late Loss

i'm back -now i have time to acknowledge the rest of you! only just made it in time for swimming lessons -oops!!!
lan - we know about my little hiatus from here during Dec so I understand what you mean about feeling like you need a break from TTC talk/thinking/living it! Until people are in our positions I honestly don't think they can truly understand how consuming it is for us. And just when we think we are "above" some of the grief it bloody knocks us for a six again! We are here for you, you have my number, sms or call if you need to anytime! sending you the biggest hug i can muster!!!
:hug:
syran -i second the sick leave! WOW!! i got to use mine while i was off with josh and it was great that they let me use it for something preg related, so i am happy you have that option too. relax a bit more and enjoy that gorgeous bubs growing in there!
cindee -wishing you loads of luck for your ultrasound in 3 weeks, hope the weeks fly by for you! at least you have a OB that you have some confidence in and feel better about their care -its half the battle for us all!
paula - and your posts continue to ake me smile - i'm not sure if you realise how funny you are, even when i am sure you are trying not to be!oops! maybe i have put the pressure on - good luck with the last exam!!
hi to everyone else! i have had such a full on day today that i don't know how i got through it with this heat! it does'nt seem as bad as they predicted tho!! ;)
xxx

:dance:

Yay Theresa, first 2009 BFP!!! But I have to say I just knew it already, being a week late.

Lots happening, so much to catch up on.

Firstly Lan, if I catch you before you have a break, I'm so sorry you're feeling this. I can relate, when I had my little meltdown before Christmas it really dawned on me that DH and I were in different places with our grief now... I really thought we were in sync but I suppose it was unrealistic to assume it would stay that way, people deal with such pain so differently. It's hard to accept but try not to feel too bad, it's natural and as the other girls say most of us have had similar experiences with partners. Big hugs, always here for you.

Cindee, hope 27 weeks flies by for you!! what gestation were Hope and Precious?? Losing your son because of a doctor's incompetance must have been so difficult, you're a big woman to be able to deal with that

Sue, after working at your work so long I would sooooo be using up some of that sick leave!!! It's super hot here too, not liking it at all!!

Teagz, sorry to hear DF is sick of the baby talk, it's hard when it's the only thing on your mind. I'm afraid I don't have any advice, DH was into it as much as I...

Paula, good luck with the exams, is it the Queensland supreme court you will work for?

Big hugs to all the other triers, and good luck with the BD and IVF!!!

I have pretty much recovered from my bout of stomach whatever it was... it was so nasty though. I didn't feel better till sunday, just in time for work, yay!!

Today someone asked me how long I had left, then said 'is it just one? Going to be a big baby!" I didn't quite know what to say, especially as he outranked me, if he didn't I may have gone off... I really didn't think I was that big!!! Although I weighed myself on the weekend... 11 kilos so far!!! plus the extra few left over from the first pregnancy, I'm about 15 kilos heavier than my normal weight and still gaining. I was a bit shocked because I don't feel that big, oh well!!! Baby's getting everything it needs for sure :)

My Mum is visiting and asked the inevitable 'when are you going to tell your brother and sister about the pregnancy?' so I relented and said I'd email them... don't quite know what to say... but I did email a good friend from work to tell him so that's a big step. It's a similar thing to buying baby stuff, it's like going out on a limb... speaking of which I got a heap of second hand baby clothes and blankets very cheap so that was a big step!!

Tomorrow we have a VBAC info session at the hospital, I hope they don't ask for our stories. Afterwards I'm considering going with Mum to look at more baby stuff. What a significant week!! I realised if they decide I need a C section it could be as early as 37 weeks, which is very close indeed!!!! I cannot wait to meet he/she (though I feel it's a he)!

Love Rozzie

Thank you girls for all your excitement! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes and thank my lucky stars that I found such wonderful friends on this forum.

I went to my GP this avo and she did another HPT which showed another BFP. I will have the blood test results tomorrow!!! At this stage it is estimated I am about 4 weeks pg. Estimated due date at this stage is 18 Sept!!!

I know this is going to be an amazing year for all of us!! You girls have to follow my lead so we can chat through each others pregnancies.

I am so excited but also a little nervous. Next step is to make an appointment with the OB.

Rozzie - Some people just have no clue!I think they try to be funny - and it never is! I can't wait to hear your good news - and I think it is a boy too!

Sue - WOW!! I wish I had that much leave!

Everyone else - thanks again for your congratulations!! I am still in a bit of shock but it will sink in I am sure :D

You go girl. Ticker already... i loooooooooove it!

oh I almost forgot... I was on the train yesterday and accidently found myself sitting in the pregnant lady/cripple seat. The train wasn't busy so I didn't need to get out and in the spirit of the whole 'fake it till you make it' strategy I decided being 17 days PG I had every right to be sitting there.

I think I am going a little loooooooopy, but having a blast doing it!

Hi everyone - just wanted to send a big hug to Lan. I hope you are doing ok. I have emailed you through Facebook.

Theresa - not even sure if I have welcomed you but a huge congratulations on your BFP! I love seseing those three letters appear in this thread. May you have a happy and healthy 40 weeks with a bundle of baby love to take home.

Hi to the new ladies - I have been very lax and not welcomed everyone. As you are already aware this is a special place filled with special women - you will find understanding and hope here.

Sorry I haven't been around much. Going on holidays meant I didn't have time on the computer. I think of you all and am following your pregnancies and TTC journeys even when I don't post. Anna is doing well - I will have her weighed again tomorrow so hoping for a healthy gain. My mother's group start tomorrow so I am hoping there are some nice women in it - I think it is a big group of around 20.

Hi Girls,

Wow, being back at work really sucks, I find it hard to catch up on everyone's posts after a whole day !

Teagz, I'm sorry you feel so sad ATM. I hope things improve soon, big hugs.

Lan, don't be so down hun, I wish I could give you a huge hug right now. Please don't hide away, we'll make you smile here ( we'll try anyway ! ) Sometimes things just seem so hard and hopeless, and it's hard to stay positive, I know. Sending you a big hug hun.

Paula, congrats on sailing thru your exams, you poor thing your eyes must be popping out of your head ! You make me laugh with your comments on your bulging belly...

Tildy, great news on little Kebab and your glucose test ! Go girl !

Jo76, good luck with the psychic, can't wait to hear what she says.

Diana, did you say AF come already ?

Cindy good luck in 3 weeks for your next scan, looks like things are on track.

Sue, OMG 936 hours of sick pay....the most days I've ever had was 25 ( thats 200 hours ) shame on me !!

Rozzie, I'm so glad you're feeling better hun. Must be a heavy baby in there ! I would have decked that guy for his comment....

Theresa, it will take a few days ( maybe weeks ) to come off that high. You must be just over the moon ! The pressure is off !

Jo, are you home yet ?

Hi Megan, Laney, Katie & Dee81 hope you're all well.

Love

Beata xxx

Hi everyone

Beata, nope not me, I'm 23 days pregnant today! I have long cycles so AF is not due for another 12 days or so but I have told her to stay away for the next 10 months. Lets hope she bloody listens this time.

Actually, the clinic rang today to tell me they forgot my blood sample in the fridge yesterday and it did not go to the lab :rolleyes: So no synarel sniffing for me today, maybe I'll start tomorrow if I ever get these results.

Sorry for the lack of persies, I have a huge headache and am going to have an early night.

Lan if you're watching, I miss you already. Be strong :hug:

Catch up with you all tomorrow. Hope everyone is ok.

Hi Diana hun, I think I'm going bonkers....I thought I read that you had your AF, and I thought, that's strange she normally has long cycles ! I think I'm starting to hallucinate..today I woke up with tummy cramps and have gone to the toilet like 20 times ( sorry TMI ) so eventhough I'm trying hard to keep a cool head about tomorrow, my body is thinking something else. I'm staying home today, don't want to be thinking if I'm gonna make it to the toilet or not.

That's a bugger about the blood sample ! Did you get yourself ready for the first spray ( hence the headache ? )?? You poor thing, you mentally prepare yourself for something, and then it's change of plans. Well, lets hope the AF doesn't arrive and the lab sample comes back with a BFP so you don't have to do anything else ! Wouldn't that be good ?!..Hope you're feeling better today hun, no more headache !

Love
Beata xxx

Good morning ladies!
Well I scared myself for no good reason yesterday, and then spent 3 hours at the hospital waiting to be checked out. I had been feeling a little pressure all day (looking back I think it was just constipation!) but then I went to the corner store and and the way back I could feel scratching in there, which completely freaked my out! So hence thought all of the worst scenarios immediately, rang the hospital and they said to come in but don't hurry they were very busy. So had tea and went in by this time I had calmed down enough to think I was being silly, but got checked over anyway, she said it looks like the ends of the suture have maybe come unfolded and that is why I felt the scratching, but knot and stitch all in place, YAY! I think I knew deep down that there wasn't a problem, but would have never forgiven myself if I'd let it ride and something was wrong. I was really looking forward to Corey going to daycare today so I could just rest, but he has woken up sick and is super clingy, so we might have to sit on the couch together, down side is I'll have to watch Wiggles, Bob, etc over and over!
Hope everyone else is well, and I am still super excited about Theresa!

Helen, oh thank God all is ok, gave me such a fright until I got to the end of your message. Enjoy your couch day with Corey and I hope he gets well soon.

Beata, best of luck for tomorrow! I know you are extremely nervous but I am actually very excited for you as this means "goodbye fibroid, hello baby"! I wish with all my heart the procedure goes fabulously and recovery time is super quick. I hope you get a chance to log on and tell us how you are doing. I will be waiting anxiously for some news. BIG BIG hugs and my thoughts and deepest prayers are with you.

I got my CD22 blood test result today and it showed I have NOT even ovulated yet. MENTAL MENTAL MENTAL cycle. Another jab on Tuesday to retest. More headaches....

Hello to all my lovely BB friends.

Helen, oh thank God all is ok, gave me such a fright until I got to the end of your message. Enjoy your couch day with Corey and I hope he gets well soon.

Beata, best of luck for tomorrow! I know you are extremely nervous but I am actually very excited for you as this means "goodbye fibroid, hello baby"! I wish with all my heart the procedure goes fabulously and recovery time is super quick. I hope you get a chance to log on and tell us how you are doing. I will be waiting anxiously for some news. BIG BIG hugs and my thoughts and deepest prayers are with you.

I got my CD22 blood test result today and it showed I have NOT even ovulated yet. MENTAL MENTAL MENTAL cycle. Another jab on Tuesday to retest. More headaches....

Hello to all my lovely BB friends.

hello girls well i'm not going to try and catch up on everything that has happened in the last couple of days. good luck beata for 2morrow. been buggered a bit first week of work nearly over will catch up more on the weekend with you all.big hugs

Don't you hate it when BB is down! Just wanted to wish Beata good luck too! I agree with Diana!

OMG! This is how hopelessly addicted I am to this site. Ive been trying ALL DAY and it's been saying the sites down... When it actually ended up working I literally cried out with relief :redface: I bet you boots now that I write my speel the site will crash again. Ugh! But anyway... :lol:
I hate AF. She's a constant reminder of a horrible thing and I feel completely alone and helpless through it at the moment because DF is up to that "accepting and moving on" stage of grieving and being all excited about being able to try again shortly, and I'm not, I'm still bawling like I child who's had their security blanket taken away, sobbing for wanting my baby back and how unfair it is that he was taken away in the first place.

The last couple of days I've become completely fascinated with DF sisters, one has three children (she is 23), the other has one (she is 19). It blows my mind that they can just have babies. They just have them. Their pregnancy's are uneventful, they are calm pregnant woman, and at the end they produce gorgeous, perfect little babies that they get to take home and dote over. Their bodies do exactly what they're meant to do, they breast feed perfectly, everything. It fascinates the absolute bajeezez out of me that they can do it first shot, and I couldn't. I feel like a horrible Mum already. I can't even put into words how much of a wow factor it's having on me at the moment.. My head is almost about to pop over it^^;

Persies!

Theresa! Why haven't we had anymore gushing from you? Are you feeling sick yet? ;) You're going to be on a high for aaages, I don't think you'll believe it til you start showing. Ooh you'll have to show us belly photos! I can't wait! XD

dd, sorry you're having a bit of a hard time with your mental cycle still. You're in a fairly monitored sort of environment now so just stay confident that they know what they're doing and they'll sort everything out for you and you'll be screaming a BFP soon! :)

hgirs, better to be safe than sorry! I think I would have done exactly the same thing, except when they said not to hurry because they were busy I would have told them where to stick it, and that I was coming in NOW. Hope you had fun with the Wiggles and Bob :lol: How cute.

beata, Sounds like that bug thing is going around australia atm. DF came home yesterday from work with it and has been told strictly no sharing!! :D

Aah, well I feel calmer now. Thank goodness it's Thursday, bring on the weekend!

xx

Oh Helen, thank God all is OK !! you gave me a bit of a fright. Hope the stitches stay where they should for the rest of the pregnancy ! You have the nerves of steel, I would have been camped out at that hospital, busy or not !! LOL

Diana, you are awesome, you aways make me smile and make me feel like all will be OK. Thanks hun, I really appreciate it.
What's with the O ? Naughty O, it needs a kick up the bum. I am positive all will be OK soon, and you can get down to the real business. Keep positive too hun, I know they'll get to the bottom of it very soon :)

Thanks Dee, you are such a darling to wish me well when you you're yourself are feeling so buggered ! I know coming back to work for you would have been pretty depressing and draining, so big hug to you hun. It wasn't easy for me either, but after I survived the first couple of days, I was OK.

AFM, I just couldn't get on BB all this morning, the website was down I think...just my luck as I was home ready to type my fingers out to distract myself ! Now off to my osteo appointment, then going shopping to get my nighty and big nickers ( so they don't sit on my stiches, I don't know where I read this, been googling myself silly today ).

Big hello and hugs to every one else, will catch up soon.

Love
Beata xxoo

good luck with the op Beata, I'm sure all will go well and you'll be ttcing with the rest of us in no time!!

Helen: THANK GOD, I can just imagine your heart racing as you were headed to the shops etc and then waiting to go to hospital for check up. At least you could go and get reassured. I remember when Tildy had a scare early on and got such grief about not being able to get checked out until an official appointment or something. As you said, much better to get checked out and it be nothing than do nothing and it be something.

Teagz: I must admit I still struggle with people who go and have normal pregnancies and have no concept of losing babies to miscarriage or stillbirth. Even though that was me a few years ago after I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy with my son which was my first. I was only saying to DH last night, sometimes having this group who are so in tune with how it feels it seems like everyone should be so aware but unfortunately they are not. Or maybe it is actually fortunate because it means that less women have to go through what we do. As long as your DF's sisters love their kids and appreciate them being happy and healthy then try and use them to visualise how your next pregnancy will go. Safe and sound with no hiccups in sight!!

Diana: I can't believe you haven't O'd. What is going on. Tell them we all demand answers and they better get them quick or they will have a group of angry women hunting them down and ripping them into gear!

Dee: great to hear from you. HOpe you are feeling well and rested up soon.

Lan: I agree with Diana, we miss you in here!!

Hi ladies

Just wanted to wish Beata GOOD LUCK for tomorrow! I'm sure it will go fine and hope you find those granny undies at the shops :lol:

And Helen, what a scare for you! I have never felt my stitch at all but I have heard it isn't unusual - good to hear they checked you out and all looks okay. And oh boy I know all about that panic about constipation pain vs something more sinister!! Drives me nuts.

Diana - bummer that ov still hasn't happened. Very annoying. But at least you have those IVF plans in place now so that is a step forward, no matter what happens with this cycle.

Teagz - sorry to hear you are feeling so down. Remember though babes that you only lost your angel such a short time ago; it is perfectly normal for you to still be struggling through the fog of grief and you will find that you and DH might be in different places as you go and it isn't a bad thing. My brother rang me today and we were chatting about his and his girlfriends preg (they are due the same day as us with their first) and when I hung up I found myself feeling really resentful towards my SIL for a little bit. Just because she can live normally, and seemingly without a worry at all, while I have to lie here restricted to the lounge/bed in a bid to get this preg to the end. It really isn't fair. But I love her and my brother and of course would not wish this on them - just a moment of feeling sorry for myself I guess.

I have my next scan tomorrow morning, so hopefully it will show all is stable and I can continue at home. I was a bit naughty today and brought in the washing but I was only out the back for a short time and the basket was light so I can't imagine it would have done any harm. Hopefully anyway!

Big hi to everyone I missed, and I know there are a few of you, sorry xx