TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth

[Chez67]

Hi everyone

I don't know where the past week has gone too but I have been thinking of you all and sending lots of positive vibes your way!

Dee, I'm so sorry that your DH has found someone else. How are you coping with being in such a small town? I really hope you have the support you need right now, take care and know we're thinking of you. And I would be really pleased if you kept posting in this thread. We're all here for support, so lean on us!

Megan, I'm glad that you have felt some benefit from your AP sessions. What you said definitely did resonate with me, I will explain more after persies. Heres hoping that this will work for you soon.

Teagz, thanks for dropping in and checking on us. Hope your doing well. Thinking of you.

Beata, wow - three weeks until transfer! That's so close. I wish you lot of luck and sticky vibes. Take good care of yourself, just in case you get twins or more!

Diana, I'm really pleased that the bleeding has almost finished. What a scare! Sounds like you are in good hands with your ob though, so try to relax and regain your strength. Take care.

Jo, thanks for your good wishes and keeping an eye on us. It's nice to hear from you.

Bec, it's amazing how long it can take to get organised to get some milk isn't it? Well done for getting through your friend's farewell. That must have been very challenging for you, so you need to be kind to yourself that you got through it. I see the two women at work with their growing bellies and I want to say something to them, to enjoy it now and everyday, because you never know what is around the corner. But I don't. I think they will think I am crazy, or I might upset them. So I just smile and say hello and pretend that I don't notice they're pg. It's easier that way, for me and for them.

AFM, well no sign of AF yet. My TCM has been madly researching. She has even been looking at the western medicine side of things. She has found quite a bit of research that says my system has essentially shut down because the link between the hypothalumus and the pituatary gland is not working. These parts of the brain control our hormones and without them I won't ovualte or have a period. So I had an intensive session of needles yesterday morning and am on a new set of herbs. This is apparently text book of someone who has had a pg loss and she believes she can get me sorted out so that I can start having a regular cycle again. A lot of it is brought about because of the physical and emotional trauma that I have been through, so the herbs are working on rebuilding my blood (and uterine lining), healing my heart and boosting the kidney yin. Which brings me to what Megan and Beata have been discussing...

Yes the kidneys are definitely important. Your AP should be able to feel your kidney pulse and your heart pulse. Not sure how they are differentiated. When I first started AP my kidney pulse was weak. I found that by reducing stress and increasing my exercise, my kidney pulse improved. That was when I fell pg. Now my kidney pulse is 'substantial' but my heart pulse is weak, most likely from the trauma and grief. So now I am working on mending that.

Take care all and will try to get back more regularly,
xo

[helle]

Chez, I'm so glad you have found the benifits of those yummy herbs! I quite often go to my naturopath over my Dr if I'm sick, i find I respond to natural medication ALOT better.
I know what you mean about those pregnant ladies. I let slip once... and yeah, you get that "your crazy" look.

Beata, not long noooow! *dances along the sidelines doned in a cheerleaders outfit. The warm kind because it's freezing here atm!* I can't wait.

He lets her fluff around.

Mummabec, Does your DD have DH wrapped around her little finger? I think of DF with a bubby girl and it's laughable. He'd be a total pushover, 6"3' of absolute man goo! All his little neice has to do is put her arms up for a cuddle and he goes to mush - and she knows it too, he's her "favourite" at the moment.

[mummabec]

Hi all,

Teagz, yes she has very much got DH wrapped around her little finger. He is hopeless but in a sweet way. When she's fluffing around when it's time to leave or do something, he's ridiculously patient with her. He never wants to hurt her feelings and I often catch him noticing something cute she's doing and putting his tongue at the side of his mouth like he does when he thinks something's cute. I doubt he knows he's doing it but now she's 3 1/2 and he's still gush.

Cheryl, sounds like your TCM is really on your side cheering for you and trying to work out what's best for you. That's great. Hope it works really soon for you.

Berry, hope the AP went well again.

Beata, that's so exciting. Will be transfer time before you know it!

Dee, of course you should still be here if you find support here. This is the time to gather around all the support you can get.

Diana, hope you are going better.

AFM, AF did come. No big surprise there but always disappointing none the less. In some ways I feel like this time TTC has joined on to the time spent TTC with Luca. Of course I had my precious boy in the meantime, but I guess it hasn't really been that long since we were last TTC. He was conceived last May.
Not much else to report. Still heartbroken. I bought four books on grief online the other day. Looking forward to them arriving - everything helps a little big. We're going to Mackay for a week on monday though

xx bec.

[Berry1]

Bec, sorry that AF arrived I know what you mean about the ttc time 'joining up', it has now been 15-months since I first started ttc and that can be quite depressing, I know I had a beautiful girl in the middle there, its just not something I ever expected, I thought I'd have a baby by now. The books sound good, whatever helps you grieve is a good thing and I think will assist in helping your body to heal as well, as I believe we are body, mind & spirit and you do need all three to be healthy & in harmony. Have a wonderful time in Mackay

Cheryl, it sounds like your TCM is really doing all she/he can to help find a solution for you. I really hope that intensive needle session helps and you get AF soon. I've never heard of the 'kidney' pulse. My TCM talks about the 'kidney' system as you know not just the organ, but never about the pulse. She talks about needing to get my foundation stronger. You are in my thoughts & prayers hun, I really pray that your body gets back to 'normal' soon. Hang in there and try to be at peace about it in your mind. You WILL get there, our bodies are very complex and pregnancy takes a big toll on them, so it will just take a little bit of time to heal, not to mention the emotional side

Dee, I hope you are doing ok and are getting lots of support.

Hi Teagz, I hope you are well. How far are you now, Its difficult to keep up without seeing your ticker. Are you in the 2nd trimester yet? I hope to catch you up really soon

Beata, it must be about 2-weeks now? We will all be counting down with you and sending strong baby & sticky vibes your way. I hope you are feeling good.

Diana, I hope you are doing ok now hun. Let us know how you are when your back on your feet and able to post.

AFM, I'm now in the TWW, I was getting a bit worried as my chart wasn't that clear this month, but all looks well now. I think this is going to be a difficult TWW for me, this is going to sound a bit weird but I have had a feeling about this month, or having a baby in March, its been on the brain for a loooong time now, so I'll know either way soon, so it will be a relief in a way even if its a BFN as I can stop thinking about it and let things just happen, difficult to explain without going into a long story, but hopefully that makes a little bit of sense? - LOL. I also have another AP session on Monday to help any little embies attach, so fingers crossed.

Babydust to all and have a lovely weekend.

[Chez67]

Berry - sending you lots of for this cycle. You never know about premonitions. I was just reading a post in a TTC journal about exactly that and how it was true for one BBer at least. Lots of luck hun

Bec- I'm from Mackay... how weird. Hope you enjoy the visit. It's been 8 months since I was there last to look after my mum when she had a heart attack - she's doing fine now thank goodness! Enjoy your holiday and the warmer weather.

Hi Teagz - hope you're doing well. I 'm with Berry - I have lost track of where you're at.

to everyone else.

AFM, having a reasonably quiet day today. Went out for dinner last night to a new restaurant. Very yummy - had a main and a dessert (tarte tartin - I couldn't resist - it's my favourite) so was feeling very content when I got home Did the usual Saturday morning things, Farmer's Market, brekkie, visit Ryan with flowers, and then to the fishmongers. Healthy eating plan is going pretty well, though I don't think I've lost any weight but then it's only been a week. Am cooking roast chicken for dinner so I'd better get moving.

Take care all and keep warm - brrrr!
xo

[Miss.B]

Hi Girls,

Cheryl, I wish that lazy AF would show up already to get the show started!! I can imagine how annoying it is for you. It's like it's holding up everything. But, it will come when your body is on the mend again, and then you might wish it didn't come ha ha. I'm sure you'll know what I mean if you have horrible crampy AFs like me! No seriously, I really hope it comes sooner than later for you hun, and you'll get your BFP soon sweetie .

Megan, lots of sticky vibes and baby dust coming your way hun!!! Lets hope your eggie caught a sticky swimmer he he . When will you test? So hoping with all your AP visits and herbies this is your month hun, you deserve it so much

Bec, so sorry AF showed herself . I really hope the next cycle is yours hun .
I know what you mean about the books on grieving/child loss, I have read so many and they have really helped me along my journey. I have another couple to read.... I think I've bought 10 or something like that! I was so obsessed at one stage and spent hundreds of dollars. So I really hope they help you too hun.

Diana, I hope you'll be home soon. Please let us know how you're going hun!

Dee, I'm always thinking about you and hope you're holding up OK hun

AFM, I am still in my 2WW. My AF is due tomorrow. I have been getting AF symptoms for about a week now. But it was really strange, as just after I O'd on day CD 16/17, I had a lot of strange stabbing pains down there and I was quite crampy around 6 dpo.
My BBs were already sore, but then again 6 days or so after O, it's about a week before AF is due. So I didn't know if these were AF symptoms or I was by some miracle UTD. Like I've said before, I usually DTD around day 13, 14 and 15, so every month I was missing day 16/17 completely. So this time we were like little rabbits when O was detected, so I thought, maybe??????? Anyway, yesterday I had the stangest thing happen. I was in the shower, and washing BBs and then I noticed my nippies (sorry TMI!) had little white spots on them so I squeezed them gently and this semi clear/ whitish liquid came out . WTF????? I was then speaking to a friend and she said she read somewhere that leaky nippies are either a sign of pg (not likely and you don't get them until the 3rd trimester usually) OR they can leak some weeks after a loss. But it's been 9 months now!! Helloooooooo!!! Don't know what that was about....
Well, if AF arrives tomorrow, I will have to call the IVF nurse and then test for O, and then hopefully 5 days later I will have my FET!!!! So excited now. I hope and pray my little snow bubbie is a little fighter and a little toughie .

Well, sorry for all this blabbering, I think I am going to cook some din din now.

Big hugs and hello to all my other lovely friends and I hope everyone has a good week.

B xxx

[AngelLukesmum]

Stalking you Beata...any sign of AF??

[Berry1]

Beata, I hope AF didn't show up today and that you have a little bubba in there. Praying that AF doesn't show . At least you have the transfer coming up very quickly in case she does.

[Miss.B]

Hi girls,

Thanks for checking up on me! AF still hasn't shown, today is day 29. I am however displaying signs of disturbing aggression and violent tenderncies which usually means AF is on her way very soon. I seriously have been so horrible today at work (my poor work mates!). I woke up in a crappy mood & now I've cracked it with my DF (for no apparent reason). I'd say it will come tomorrow but it's very odd for me to have a long cycle like this. I think I've only had a 30 or 31 day cycle once in my 39 years. I'm either UTD (doubt it very much) or I'm subconciously stressed about my FET and the AF is just late. I'll let you know tomorrow if it decides to show. If I'm not UTD, I wish it would hurry up as I'd like to get this cycle going!!!

Oh, and I have a blocked ear, one of my friends at work is sick ATM so I'm praying I didn't catch his cold.....

Hope everyone is well , big hugs to all & I'll do more persies later.

B xxx

[Chez67]

So Beata, what's happening? Did AF arrive yet? When I fell pg I was really cranky and moody towards the end of my cycle, so I didn't even begin to expect that was I UTD, so you never know... And I have no idea what was going on with the liquid that you discovered in the shower. That didn't happen to me after I lost Ryan, just very sore BBs that eventually went, not in size though which isn't such a good thing...

If AF has arrived, at least you know you are one step closer to your FET. Either way, it's good news.

No update from me, just waiting, waiting, waiting....

[Miss.B]

Hi Cheryl,

Still no AF hun, although I have a pretty big headache ATM which usualy is a sure sign of AF on her merry way I got a bit crampy this afternoon, but still no sign of it. I bet it will turn up in the middle of the night which is usually the case! Yeah, the leaky nippies were very stange indeed. Before I left the hospital after I lost Joshua, they gave me some tablets to take to stop the milk from coming. My BB were slightly bigger when I was pg but they were never really sore or anything like that. So I thought maybe the leaking was a delayed reaction from my loss maybe? Dunno hun, just can't explain it.
I really hope AF decides to show up soon for you hun, I truly hope and pray for a little miracle for you very soon

Hi to everyone else, will catch up with you all soon..

Big hugs

B xxx

[Aries]

Hi ladies

Do you mind if I join your thread?
I am waiting patiently for AF to arrive so that my darling hubby and I can try again. Its seven weeks today since since I gave birth to my precious angel Alexander and hubby and I have decided that if its going to take a while again (4 years last time) then there is no time like the present.
This is the one time I do want AF to arrive, ironic isnt it!!

Best wishes to you all

[Miss.B]

Hi Aries,

Welcome to our little thread!

Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss hun. I know what a heart breaking and life changing experience it is. Please know that you have found a very supportive and caring bunch of ladies here!! We are always here to talk, listen, and support each other.

I wish you the very best in your TTC journey here hun, and I hope with all my heart that you can give your beautiful little angel Alexander a little brother or sister soon. He will be so proud!!

All my love & big hugs

Beata xxx

[Berry1]

Hi Aries, of course you are welcome to join us, I am very sorry that you lost your son Alexander, a tragic event, particuarly since it took you 4-yrs to conceive . I pray that it happens very quickly for you this time and you have a beautiful bubba in your arms in no time . I know what you mean about wanting AF to come, hopefully for the last time in a long while .

Beata, I'm really praying that AF doesn't show up & you are in fact up the duff, but I am at least happy that your FET is booked in. Praying for your beautiful bubba to show up one way or another very soon

Cheryl, I hope AF shows up for you really soon. How is the eating plan going? I hope it is at least making you feel much better. I could do with a detox, I have eaten so much chocolate lately, I just loooooove it

AFM, in the TWW. I am having a week off next week so will be testing on my holiday or AF will arrive. Was hoping to at least enjoy some wine if AF arrives, which won't be until half-way through, kind of annoying I really hope it doesn't arrive at all, but if it does would like to enjoy a nice wine or two. I am starting to think that it is just never going to happen, I am sure it will, but I just can't believe that it will, if that makes any sense whatsoever - lol. I know I had/have my feeling about this month, but it still feels so unlikely.

Beata, I forgot to say that I am not taking the herbs anymore. Decided to stop once I went to the TCM. She is happy to just do AP at the moment, and wasn't concerned about the length of my LP. If I don't conceive this month, I will chat to her about herbs again next month.

Diana, I hope you are doing ok hun.

Hi to Bec.

to all.

[Miss.B]

Megan, I really AF stays away for you hun! And have a few glasses of wine anyway, even if you're UTD it won't matter so early on. I hope you enjoy your holiday and come back to tell us your exciting news! And never think it won't happen hun, because it will and you know it. You're on the right track with AP so it's now just a matter of time. And you did have a good feeling about this cycle, so stick with it and don't let any negative thoughts enter your wee head!!

Well, AF is still not here but today being 2 days late, I got a fancy clear blue digital HPT and again it's a BFN. I rang the IVF clinic and the nurse said that it could be a bit of stress and anxiety before the cycle and because of that, AF can be late.
She said it if doesn't arrive by Monday, we'll have to do a BT to find out what is going on. It's so frasturating as I know I'm not pg, but no AF either! This has never happened to me before I think my body is subconsiously stressed and hence AF is staying away. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! I hate all this waiting!

Love to all

[Berry1]

Thanks for the encouragement Beata, I am feeling particularly stressed this month, I keep thinking that if it doesn't happen this month I just can't keep doing this Re: the alcohol thing, what is the reco on that? I wasn't sure when it could get to the fetus if pg, so didn't want to take the risk. If anyone has any facts on this it would be great to know. It is my wedding anniverary on Friday, 10-years & I would love a champagne but again, no risking taking here.

Beata, I hope AF shows up really soon if your not pg, so you can start focussing on the transfer. Have you thought of AP to get things going? I found one session really helped with my CM, so you never know. If there is someone (AP) close to you, it may be worth trying. If you are pg, the AP won't do any harm from my understanding. for you hun to get through this, your almost there. I can't believe how long you have been waiting, just around the corner now, you so deserve your bubba to come along really soon

[Miss.B]

Hi hun, they say it's probalby better to say off the ciggies and drinkies if you're TTC, but then again how many women get pg slightly intoxicated? Much more fun hey? lol.
Seriously, I don't think having a glass of bubbly is going to harm your bubbie even if you get your BFP this month (I so hope so!!!!!). I'm sure many women drink and even smoke right up until they find out they're pg and then stop.. I know of a girl who went to her sister's birthday and got absolutely blind, and then she discovered she was 4 months pg!! OMG.

Congrats on your 10th wedding anniversary sweetie!! I hope you have a fabulous time and a romantic get away! Have that glass of bubbly hun, it is a big occasion and a very special one at that, I'm sure it won't affect anything !

If AF doesn't arrive by Friday, I will go and see that AP my FS recommended. Good idea hun, thanks!!

[Berry1]

Thanks Beata, I don't smoke, so thats one less thing to worry about, thank goodness - lol. I guess one drink is unlikely to matter. I'll see how I feel. We will still be on holiday when AF is due, so if that happens I'll be enjoying plenty of wines I can assure you

Re; the girl who was 4-months pg & got blind before she knew, I am sure that is very common, I have heard of many women who have done a similar thing. I know of a girl that complained of pains & said she was going to the doctor,turned out she was in labour and didn't even know she was pg, hrs later delivered a 7 something pound healthy boy - I'm sure she must have had plently of drinks during that 9-mths and never knew she was pg. Imagine that phone call to your partner!!! - lol. I would love to wake up one day 9-mth pg and never knew that it all happened - no stress, just a little surprise - ahh bliss

Weekend is just around the corner. to all.