TTC after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth #2 2010

[crumpet]

Crumpet - Oh sweetie, I am so sorry your DH is having such a tough time. Men grieve just as hard don't they but show it in different ways and also dealing with the anxiety about this pregnancy must be hard on both of you. Take care of each other. Good luck with the stitch also. Doesn't sound pleasant but then I was surprised how quickly I recovered from D&C's so I hope you will recover from your surgery quickly also.

Now, I know this may seem absolutely unbelievable but my year of hell is continuing. I have the chickenpox at the ripe old age of 35!!! With everything else I have been through it is almost so ridiculous you have to laugh. Somehow DS managed to avoid it (though I imagine I picked it up at some kids class we go to) but he is bound to get it in a couple of weeks. So just as I will get better, he will get it and we will probably be house bound for a month (a fate worse than death with a toddler!!) DH has been awesome and is taking time of work to look after him as it isn't fair to keep him locked up all day with me and also I have been feeling like the hell the past couple of days. I am feeling a bit better now that the worst headache of my life has gone along with the fever but now I am starting to itch. My DH has a list of products an arm long to take to the pharmacy, Calamine lotion, anti-hist, calendula cream. Hopefully the anti-hist will make me so drowsy I won't remember the next week or so!!

The only up-side to this was that when I was pregnant with DD I was always paranoid that I or DS would pick up chicken pox somewhere. At least next pregnancy I won't have to worry. Also, this last D&C seems to have been successful as I haven't had any bleeding. Just have to wait for next period now as there definitely will be no sexy time with me being pox riddled!!!! I really do look like a plague victim from the middle ages.....

thanks hun, he seems a lot better now, might have been a bad 2 weeks i think.....
i had a D&C almost straight after delivering coz my placenta disintegrated due to the infection and i did ok after than so hopefully the stitch is the same, although my OB says he doesnt want me completely asleep, mind u im not telling him i tend to zonk when anything stronger than oanadine forte is in my system!! lol......

wow chicken pox u poor poor thing!! i had it at 14 and it was hell!!!

hope it goes away soon!

[ChrisW]

Hello Ladies!

First and foremost – HAPPY BIRTHDAY TENIBEAR!!! It’s still the 9th here in the states but I think you’re already onto the 10th where you are (or are you onto the 11th and I missed it?). Hope you have (had) a great day. My fingers are still crossed for you for June!! Did you test today? Also big raspberry to your cousin!

Dory – Thanks for the encouragement. I am looking at Dr. Joanne Kwak-Kim at the Chicago School of Medicine (RFU). She worked closely with Dr. Beer during his time in Chicago prior to his starting a private clinic in California. Her philosophies and treatment strategies are comparable to Dr. Beers and it is much closer to us than California. BTW, I read the Beer book you recommended and it is really great. Thanks for the turning me on to that! Hope you, DH, and all the furbabies are doing well.

Crumpet – Glad to hear the results of the scan were normal, even though the journey was eventful! I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that your procedure goes well. I’m also sorry to hear that DH is sad and that it is so hard for you to envision a positive outcome. After so many early losses, the sight of a BFP is enough to make me cry and start the grieving process almost immediately. We must still have some hope, though since we still keep trying. DH and I did much better this last time around in terms of embracing the baby and trying to be happy for every moment we had until we lost our angel. I like the idea of a 3D scan. It gives you a little more to hold on to.

Powelly – I know what you mean about being afraid to fall pregnant. We lost all of ours at 5 weeks so for me, that BFP usually brings fear and dread. I’m afraid to love the baby. I’m afraid not to love the baby. It’s almost like I’m afraid that either wanting it too much or not enough will make me lose the baby. I think Dory and many others here have said it numerous times – one day at a time, be grateful for every moment for however long it lasts. Hopefully I can be as strong for our next BFP.

Gigi – LOL, I’ll have to remember that joke! I do have a great GP and endocrinologist, so I know there are good doctors out there, but I have unfortunately been to some real doozies. Also – props for having the guts to whack your hair. I usually have waist-length hair, but occasionally get fed up and get it cut short. I then instantly regret it (you’re right, it’s way more work than long hair) and start re-growing. I’m glad you still love it.

SusieQ – Hope you are doing OK, hun. Chicken pox?! You’re just having all the fun!

Hi also to CharliB, Hope, Angelic, Chez, Samcougar, Lemonade, Cmegles and anyone else I may have missed. Hope you are all doing well and that we hear from you soon.

AFM – I was being kind to DH last Sat and mowed our backyard – that is until I hit a yellow jacket nest in the ground. Did I mention that I’m allergic to wasp stings? So I’m stung multiple times, racing at top speed from the yard to our kitchen door, and completely freaking out. I’m yelling for DH at the top of my lungs, in excruciating pain, and flinging items at random out of our freezer until I find a suitable cold pack (peas). DH FINALLY makes it downstairs from the office and tells me that I should really tell him what the matter is when I call for him so that he will know whether or not it is an emergency. Now really… the whole screaming incoherently at the top of my lungs didn’t tip you off? I didn’t actually think I was being that subtle. To top it all off, my epi-pen was completely buried in our kitchen junk drawer and when we finally found it…. it was expired by 4 years. Thank God I didn’t need it, although I did swell up pretty spectacularly. I’ve been on steroids for four days now and the swelling has finally just gone down (although I’m still a bit itchy and have some hives). On the bright side, I now have a ready-made excuse for why I can no longer mow the lawn!

Hugs, baby dust, and sticky vibes to everyone! xoxo

[dory]

SusieQ - oh sweetie - I had the chicken pox as an adult too ( 26 I think) and it was awful. I still vividly remember it. The fever and headaches preceding the outbreak of the blisters and then dealing with the physical discomfort of the itching and unsightliness of the blisters. Do everything you can to get some relief and try not to scratch! I hope you don't have them on inside your eyes, nose, throat, lips, private areas..... PINETARSOL worked wonders for me when other products didn't. Hopefully DH doesn't get it. I even got my DH to drive me around at night so I could at least get out of our apartment, and it was dark so not many people could see my pox ridden face. Anyway, feel better soon.... thinking of you. And thanks for stalking me in other threads.... it's really touching. hugs.

ChrisW- OMG - that is so scary and boo hoo to DH for being an idiot about it! Maybe that's just his stress reaction? Are you ok now? Hope you got your epi pen script re filled. Good that you haven't needed it for ages.... Has DH smoked out those wasps? I didn't realise they nested in the ground. I think most wasps here in Oz nest in trees/vines. I am glad you found a clinic much closer to home than Cal. I love Chicago btw, been there a few times and honestly never tire of it. It's cosmopolitan without being too crazy. Of course they have made the most of the lakeside although I can't for the life of me imagine what possesses people to swim in Lake Michigan. I heard the tox levels are quite high of Chicago. It does look so blue and inviting though....admittedly I have never braved Chicago in winter..... but its great in late spring, summer and early autumn. I think the last time I went was summer and it was very much like a summer here but without the oppressive humidity. And I love squirrels and their flambouyant tails.

Hello to everyone else. Hope, Angelic ( busy busy as usual?) Samcougar, Lemonade ( have you had your appointment with your new Dr yet?)

Crumpet - good news girl.

Gigi - how are you feeling?

Cmeggles - hows it going......

Chez - you ok?

Teni hope you had a nice day. What did you do?

Powelly - It's ok to be scared, of everything. I think it's normal after loss.

[crumpet]

Crumpet – Glad to hear the results of the scan were normal, even though the journey was eventful! I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that your procedure goes well. I’m also sorry to hear that DH is sad and that it is so hard for you to envision a positive outcome. After so many early losses, the sight of a BFP is enough to make me cry and start the grieving process almost immediately. We must still have some hope, though since we still keep trying. DH and I did much better this last time around in terms of embracing the baby and trying to be happy for every moment we had until we lost our angel. I like the idea of a 3D scan. It gives you a little more to hold on to.
AFM – I was being kind to DH last Sat and mowed our backyard – that is until I hit a yellow jacket nest in the ground. Did I mention that I’m allergic to wasp stings? So I’m stung multiple times, racing at top speed from the yard to our kitchen door, and completely freaking out. I’m yelling for DH at the top of my lungs, in excruciating pain, and flinging items at random out of our freezer until I find a suitable cold pack (peas). DH FINALLY makes it downstairs from the office and tells me that I should really tell him what the matter is when I call for him so that he will know whether or not it is an emergency. Now really… the whole screaming incoherently at the top of my lungs didn’t tip you off? I didn’t actually think I was being that subtle. To top it all off, my epi-pen was completely buried in our kitchen junk drawer and when we finally found it…. it was expired by 4 years. Thank God I didn’t need it, although I did swell up pretty spectacularly. I’ve been on steroids for four days now and the swelling has finally just gone down (although I’m still a bit itchy and have some hives). On the bright side, I now have a ready-made excuse for why I can no longer mow the lawn!

Hugs, baby dust, and sticky vibes to everyone! xoxo

thanks chris, im hoping when/if we get to 28weeks it will be a nice suprise for DH to see worm in 3D only not just the usual scans.... he says he can see why ppl get them but cant see the point of spending the $$$, to bad if he doesnt know that he is going to one!!! lol....

OMG u poor thing!!! dont worry my DH doesnt react when i yell either, yet if there is a massive bang or something he comes running










HAPPT BIRTHDAY TENI!!!!!!
hope u get everything u wish for this year!!!!

[Gigi1]

Chris...OMG, you poor devil. I bet that hurt like mad. My husband is allergic to bees but not so much that we need aan epi pen. That is crazy business. Do you think hubby felt bad for not coming to the rescue so just blamed it on you??? Men do this sometimes. Boot him up the bum!
Hope you feel better soon.

SuzieQ... Oh dear, what a year you are having. I hope the universe has got it all out of it's system and will start leaving you be ...as of now. That is incredible. I had when i was a bub so i can give you any advice, but it sounds like you have all unders control. Get well soon babe. No scratching! Oh I know ice is good to stop itching so if there is a naughty spot...pack of peas.

Dory, Flu is gone and i don't think i have been into it too much in here...not like my blog, but as far as gloominess and depression, I am doing ok today hun. Actually I was doing really well for the last few days. Hit a bit of a set back today. Visited the family and caught the girls making funny looks to each other about something i said. God it feels like high school and I know i am being a bit sensitive. But it really urks me because you starts the paranoia...they are in cohoots with each other and it is giving me the pits.

Anyhoo, going to have an egg muffin and watch some box to chill out. I won't let them get to me, I am too big a person for that. I am a good person. All i can say is i hope i don't make people feel that way. Silly people.
Right, my 5 mins is up.
xoxoox
CD13 today but no real signs of ov yet...wierd for me. I am usually spot on. I had a few signs in CM earlier on...CD8 but who knows what is happening. xoxo

[TeniBear]

Ah well, I'm not even sure it's the right time to be testing. I just wanted to top off my birthday with a BFP *sigh* No biggie, I'll keep testing every now and then until AF shows up or I get a BFP

Hope everyone's well xox

[Gigi1]

Sorry Teni, hun I hope you have a nice birthday and have all the things you can't have when you are pregas. Happy Birthday sweet and take care. xoxo