I just wanted to quickly drop in and say hello. I was having a pretty rough week last week and was coccooning myself at home with the furbabies. And it's taken almost all of this week to catch up. So I'll be brief, and please just because I don't mention your name, please don't think that I don't think of you, I do, and hope like anything that you'll soon be getting your bfp's.
Gigi - the pressie for your mum sounds great - I love the idea of the mushrooms, and especially the more gourmet variety. You know what? You do seem to have some of your mojo back - it just shines out so brilliantly from your post. It just makes me so happy to see.
Samcougar - CONGRATULATIONS GIRL. I am soo soo excited and happy for you. Seems the "C's" still have it.... I hope to see you in another thread soon? Don't worry if it takes you a while to gather up the courage... it took me ages.... and then took even longer to feel I could loosen the ties from this thread. And good work on your intuition about not having your x ray but hope your ankle isn't giving you too much worry.
Chez - thankyou so much for asking about the fur babies. #2 has recovered really well and is now on twice daily tablets for hyperthyroidism until his next check up on 3 July. He will have some blood tests taken then to see how his thyroid levels are, see if his weight loss has stabilised and if he has any other conditions that the hyperthyroidism might be masking. If not, then 2 weeks off the tablets and he'll have his radioactive treatment. I am not looking forward to being without him for 3 weeks, but the treatment is 95%curative and he is only 7 and I am expecting him to have a long and indulged life. He's good with the tablets - he doesn't like it, but he tolerates it. Makes our job a little easier.
Teni/Crumpet - I don't know why but I don't get those feelings of "this shouldn't be like this and I should be holding my babies" that often or too intensely. I do get them from time to time, and just try and find my way through. I wonder if those feelings are something we'll have lifelong, maybe not with as much frequency as now? I think so, from talking with women my mothers age and older who've experienced loss. There are special days, where it all comes flooding back, as if they were right there again, and sometimes even on unexpected days. I just accept for me there are all sorts of days - and I just try to be in the moment with each day, no matter what it is. If I am feeling a particular way, there's a reason for it and I need to honour it, even if I can't work out why or it takes me by surprise or I don't really want to feel that way.
I don't know, it's just so tough and hard and unfair. I just wish I had more than words to help you through, but that's all I have, and they're pretty cumbersome and ineffective. I suppose I really wanted to say, I am so so sorry for your pain and heartache and I wish I could make it better for you. Teni - as you can probably tell from what Crumpet said, the next part of the journey ( and you will get there), as much as you want it, is tough and at times lonely, and loss makes it more lonely and frightening.
Chris W - hope you are all ok now after the wasp attack!
Susie Q - how are you doing? A bit better?
Powelly - hiya - the waiting is so frustrating. Avoid the wine - you can do it. Hope you get something happening soon, but in my heart of hearts, hoping for a beefer (bfp).
Cmeggles - have I seen you post somewhere else or I am just losing my mind? Hmmm... losing my mind is likely. LOL.
Sorry if I have missed anyone else. All good here. Having some non serious but irritating reactions to some medication at the mo - very severe insomnia - lucky to get even 2 hours last night, and no nanna naps for me yesterday or today, despite being tired, quite thirsty and to boot - I look like an old wino, very rosy cheeks and nose and flushed. They should pass quickly as I had the last dose this morning, and some minor GI upset. Hopefully by tomorrow arvo, these reactions will be a distant memory! At least the fur baby's keep me in good company... have a safe and happy weekend. I am looking forward as always to having DH around. Saturday's are my fav day now, as I can "usually" sleep in and snuggle. I've never been a person to sleep in, so I am trying to make the most of it.
Hey Dory, YEp mojo is back in the building yesterday and today...it is great to feel good. My chiro appointment was a treat and really helped the process. I have faith it will keep going. I know things can be cyclical but i am ust concentrating on being happy and enjoying things...laughing again lots. Even if i have to force it out...make you feel better everytime.
Good to you here you are resting up and enjoying a sat sleep in with hubby. I am a big sleeper in erer! Love it.
I hope the reactions are walking out the door and you feel better soon.
Have you seen your bubba lately? Hope all is going well.
Chez – Happy to have amused! I have to say that DH was great once he realized what was happening, but he was just a tad slow on the initial uptake. Sorry your FS is going away for so long, but a trip to Sydney sounds great. Who knows…. maybe you won’t need the FS….
Tenibear – hope AF has gone and cleared the way for some serious BDing!
Angelic – good to hear from you (when you can sneak on!) Hope you are doing well. Are you still TTC?
Cmeglles – Thanks for the encouragement. Hope that you’re able to start relaxing some and enjoy your pg.
Dory – Glad that your side effects will pass soon, they sound awful! Thanks for asking after me. I had to take prednisone for over a week, but the swelling and hives are finally gone. At least I don’t have to mow the lawn ever again!
Powelly – Hope AF stays away and you get a BFP!
Gigi – Hope your sleep pattern gets back to normal, I know what a pain that can be. BTW - love the idea of a mushroom kit for your mom’s Bday. That’s the kind of gift I love to get.
Samcougar – I just can’t say it enough – WAY TO GO GIRL!!!!!! Are you having any symptoms yet? I have everything crossed for a H&H pregnancy for you.
Hi also to SusieQ, Crumpet, CharliB, Hope, Lemonade, and anyone else I may have missed. Hope you are all doing well.
AFM – AF due today….
No AF symptoms….no pg symptoms….and a BFN this morning (sigh).
I have composed a Haiku for my naughty HPT….
Horrid little line.
Solitary in stark white.
Why do you mock me?
Obviously I just don’t have enough to keep me busy!!! I guess it’s not over until the red lady sings. I’ll probably test again on Monday if she doesn’t show up by then.
And yes, AF has packed her bags and buggered off again I also asked DH if he was alright with DTD every second day, and he was fine with it ( he thought it was a compromise and I really wanted it daily!) We've "practised" two nights in a row and if I have a similar cycle as the last one, I'll be Oing on or near his birthday He can't turn me down for "special birthday sex"
ChrisW, we are on the same timeframe! My AF is due today as well and I honestly feel as if it's coming, had cramps for the last three days which I usually don't get until it arrives. Every time I go to the loo I think, this will be it, but NO! No other symptoms apart from big boobs but that could mean anything. I got a BFN yesterday so will test again tomorrow. The waiting game sucks. I just want SOMETHING to happen! Good luck
Chris and Powelly that makes 3 of us then. I am on day 31 or is it 32.. but no lines at all and a tiny bit of spotting dark colour (old) but that's it. No other signs of being pg or AF.
Chris I am quitting TTC so I will only pop in here every now and again. I figure at my age now it just is not going to happen and I'll end my child bearing years on a m/c of identical twins back in April.
I am grateful for the children I do have and I love being a mum. I will forever miss my sweet Annabelle and all she could have been.
Big hugs to you all and may you all hold rainbow babies before too much longer.
Thank you for the friendship and support during my stay here.
hugs
Jude
Oh wow so much happening.
Firstly,
Chris and Teni, you crack me up- the pair of you.
Jude- I send you off with a big hug. It was a pleasure knowing you and I do hope you get a surprise oneday if that is your dream. Until then, wonderful mumma I hope you enjoy life. I will think of you and your angel DD as she is born the same month as mine, not the same year. I wish you every happiness and I thank you so very much for being a part of our little group. THe group no one wants to be part of. Take care my friend. xoxo
Chris- I hope mum will like it. She will i think, it is her thing! Loved the Haiku thingy...clever and funny. We all need that. xoxo I hope it is wrong though. Fingers crossed.
Teni- Good Luck and sounds like some fun ahead. xoxo
Powelly- My fingers are crossed for you that the hormones are on the rise. I hope this month proves a surprise for you hun. Good luck.
AFM- CD22 and my creative mind is going MAD with ideas for different things. Now have to capture them and put them on paper or do something about them. My dreams are going right off the scale right now, can hardly keep up.
I am doing well, staying busy. Looking great with my new hair! LOL and staying our of mischeif. Feeling quite my peppy self actuall which is nice.
Better go xoxox
Oh...today nearly took a bad turn but we saved it. Went to a market and found it was all baby and kids stuff. I thought it was going to be artsy and crafty. OMG there were bugaboos up my heels, babies crying, children running and bellies just staring at me. It just took me by surprise and i was really proud of myself, i decided to pull the pin and go anohter time. It was a beautiful market but i felt like a deer in headlights with no where to turn. We were meant to be meeting people there but luckily they were running late and we cancelled on them. Too big for today and too my by surprise. It is nice to recognise and pull out early when you can...save yourself and keep going. Phew! LOL Big thing for me today and I am proud of me!
xoxox
Hey lovely ladies! Well nothing to report on this end except that I'm LOSING patience so fast and am confused as to what's going on with me. I've had bad cramps on and off for almost 4 days, have the tears and tantrums happening and yet no period. As of yesterday morning a BFN yet again. Am I over thinking and can that really make your periods late? It's driving me batty and it's only my FIRST month! haha
Powelly- Sure hun, it is only the first month but this has been a long time coming and a lot has happened since your first bub. You are 10 times wiser to life now babe. I think we all lose a little bit of the patience, innocence and forgiveness we used to have. I can't speak for you babe, but for me this is the case. I am doing ok at this point but I am supposed to really, there is nothing i can do on CD23. When you are late and waiting...a whole new story really. Especially feeling all sorts of symptoms. Hang in there sweety and I hope you get good results soon.
It may or really may not help but a cousin of mine didn't get a BFP result until a week after she was due. Sometimes we ov late and that can change it all around as you know. Do you know when you Ov? What DPO are you atm. Thinking of you. xoxox
AFM- Just went to a really yummy bakery for breaky/lunch and ate ourselves silly on sourdough, olive oil and balsamic...oh so good. And a wheat free polenta and pear friand type thingy...OHHHHHhhhh so good. It is ecstacy in a cup cake wrapper really.
We are off to Train tonight and really looking forward to some live music and a bit of a boogy. Music is such a healing thing.
Sneezing like a crazy woamn today and sinuses are playing up. I hope whatever is trying to move in stays well away. i am sick of being sick and dont' have time for that cr*p.
So off to pull up some tights, throw on a skirt or maybe some jeans and go kick my heals up for the night. xoxo
Thanks Gigi1. Argh, you hit the nail on the head. It's super frustrating and I have so many thoughts and feelings going on and I'm pretty sure it's all normal but it's so hard. My son was diagnosed with croup this afternoon and I haven't slept more than two hours since yesterday so am pretty tired and emotional. I'm not sure when I O'd but from memory, I always ovulated a week after the usual O time, so I am guessing around the 8th or 9th so that would make me around 12DPO now. I have cried all day so something hormonal is happenening.
I'm super excited one minute and then super scared the next and I knew it would be that way but I had hoped it wouldn't be as bad as this. I'm sure after a sleep tonight (fingers crossed) I'll be a bit clearer tomorrow. I just want to know one way or another, as I'm sure we all do in here. Big hugs and thanks for the support!
Ok hun, this is good. A couple more days and you should know either way. Thinking of you and hold on. I have a feeling I will be in your shoes very soon. It is pretty amazing how overnight we can either be as right as rain...or ready to jump off the balcony. Arghhh. You are so right though...one moment excitement and the very next...nerves and fright like never before. Hmmm, we girls are pretty strong to handle all this really. I have no idea how sometimes.
xoxoxohugs and enjoy that sleep. Hope your little boy feels better quickly.
Chris - your haiku is awesome. Can't wait for another one....
Teni - Ha. Good ole ScottyDuck is stepping up to the plate again. Good on him..... enjoy the hanky panky.....
Powelly - oh hun, hope your little one recovers quickly from croup and you get to have some sleep. Sleep deprivation and an ill child, make EVERYTHING harder - just go gently.
Gigi - well done on leaving the markets - that would have been way too intense for me. I so am proud of you. How was Train? And you had me salivating with the sourdough. My DH is really into making his own sourdough starter and sourdough at the moment. I reckon the first one he made was the best, but since then he has tried lots of more artisan type breads rather than just plain. I might have to ask him nicely to bake a plain one.
Angelic - Oh blossom, I hope that the decision you've made brings you some peace. It's an exceptionally hard decision to come to and you have all my love for your journey ahead, whatever that may hold, and sincere thanks for your friendship during your time on BB. Holding your angels close. Best wishes my sweet.
AFM - all good here. Over some of the more annoying reactions to the medication. Woot woot. Looking forward to a quiet week. Take care.
Last edited by dory; June 21st, 2010 at 02:01 PM.
: additions
Gigi1 - Thanks so much for the lovely posts. I'll try and hang in there, don't have much choice do we really! haha
Jude - It must have been a heartbreaking decision to stop TTC and I wish you nothing but happiness and love as you move onwards. You just never know, so many who stop trying end up "falling". Good luck!
ChrisW - How did you go? Did you POAS today? I did and got another painful BFN!
Dory - Glad you are over your reaction to the meds. Must have been nasty. Hope you are feeling much better!
ASM - Still NOTHING! No periods, BFN this morning and still crampy! I have never been late for AF before so have come to the assumption that my overthinking has caused the delay. I'm sure she'll show her ugly face when I least expect it! My DS is now on steroids for his croup and has responded really quick thankfully so he's on the mend and giving me plenty of cuddles. Not sure who needs them more at the moment :-)
TTC after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth #2 2010
I just looked back over my last chart, and wouldn't you know it? EWCM exactly 14 days before AF arrived. With all my fluctuating symptoms, right in the middle of it was actual ovulation signs. Grrrr! Oh well, at least now I'll know to definitely jump Scott when I need to
Powelly. Grrrrr, I am so sorry hun. Hugs and thinking of you. Glad you know either way and Glad your little boy is on the mend. Little cuddles sound like the best medicine. Take care hun xoxo
Dory, Train was great. The band before was Ryan Messing and the Few...they were awesome and will definitely get their cd. We had a good boogie. Caught a guitar pick they threw into the crowd and gave it to a man standing next to me. He really impressed me and made my night. He was about my dads ages and knew all the words, boogied away all night and it was a joy to be near him. I thought it might mean more to him so he got to take it home. A very good night. Glad to be doing that again. I loooove Live music. Must ahve been a groupy in another life. That feeling of the bass and drums going through your body and vibrating your chest and nostrils....the BEST feeling ever.
AFM- as you can see re above...I am doing my best to drive myself to distraction! We even took a trip up the coast last night to stay with Mum and Dad last night. World wind trip but their life is about to take a big turn and we wanted to support them...and get away. Dad is having to look for work. He is a Civil Project Manager and his contracts are coming to an end. If anyone know anyone....let me know. They are looking at moving interstate or fly in -fly out. A big adventure is on the cards.
CD 25 and finding today a real challenge. It seems to be going verrrrrrry slow all of a sudden. Arghhhhh, give me strength. DH woke in the middle of the night last night and said to me, I am disappointed we are not pg this month. I am thinking...you are jumping the gun a bit hun. We have to get to the end of the month yet and test. I am not sure if that is his feelings or if he is protecting himself like we all do every month. Time will tell.
My belly is feeling a little heavy like before AF but I have hope. Some moments every now and then I want to give up. Sometimes it is all too much. xoxo
When is AF due? Hang in there. I forgot how much the tww sucked! It's torture. And I feel for you and your DH. For us after our loss we were lucky enough to conceive first try (and we weren't really 100% ready and didn't think it would happen that fast - when I got the BFP I had a massive panic attack!!!). I can see from your signature that you suffered a devastating loss and I know it's so hard when you so want to start the jouney again to get that special bundle in your arms. I'm proof that it DOES happen and I know it will happen for you too. You never know, it may have already happened this month.
I know that none of this helps, but just wanted to say don't give up, stay strong and we are all here for you as you take this journey. Sometimes it helps to visualise the end result, it certainly helped me.
I also asked DH if he was alright with DTD every second day, and he was fine with it (
he thought it was a compromise and I really wanted it daily!) We've "practised" two nights in a row 
He can't turn me down for "special birthday sex" 
With all my fluctuating symptoms, right in the middle of it was actual ovulation signs. Grrrr! Oh well, at least now I'll know to definitely jump Scott when I need to 
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