Powelly, I am so saddened by your news hun, I was really hoping and praying for a good outcome for you. Just please know that I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs my sweet. And please don't feel like you are a burden here, we are all here for you always. Take it easy hun, and as hard as it is now to contemplate another go at TTC, we will all be here for you when you decide to take that step.
Powelly – I’m so sorry about your loss. That's just devastating and this is absolutely the place to let it all out. Sending you a big hug sweetie.
Tess – I’m sorry you find yourself needing to be here, but you will find lots of support and understanding. Hope your stay is a short one.
Gigi – It’s so hard when you have friends with a child the same age as your angel baby. I’m glad you were able to spend time with friends who understand.
SusieQ – LOL on the medicinal use of the big ‘O’. DH has happily volunteered to administer a daily dose!
Hi also to Samcougar, Teni, Hope, Chez, Dory and everyone else.
AFM – Getting ready for surgery this Thursday to remove a small fibroid from my uterus. I’m pretty tired of getting poked, but figure I should do whatever I can to improve my chances. Needless to say we’re taking this month off from TTC.
Also been researching everything I can on uterine blood flow. I purchased a ‘fertility’ yoga/acupressure DVD which is supposed to help with that. I’m terrified of needles, so I’m not sure how I would do at acupuncture (although I’ve heard that works wonders). I am also seeing my GP today to see if he will help with executing and monitoring the protocol that the RI develops over the next few weeks. Unfortunately, my RE has already indicated that he would probably not be comfortable with almost anything the RI comes up with. Thankfully my GP is pretty open-minded. I’m also seeing a new OB/GYN next Monday, so I hope he’ll be open to working with the RI too.
Hi
I thought I might join in here. I lost my daughter Ellen Mary at 41 weeks on 13 Jan this year.
We have been TTC ever since.
Before we got preggas with her we thought always we'd get pg naturally so we didn't stress that much and finally (after 8 yrs of trying on and off) we had her.
Now we are told I am really too old to conceive naturally and that we have unexplained infertility. I guess that basically means the doctors can't work out why we aren't preggas.
We have tried for 5 months and we are going away soon to try and have a short holiday and a break to see if we can conceive naturally again. I am getting acupuncture on Friday.
If this doesn't work we are starting IVF. I am absolutely terrified as I hate the idea of the drugs and intervention. I have to go through with it though as I can't live with myself if I don't try everything.
I feel it was my fault we lost our first baby as it was my job to look after and protect her. I can't let hubby own again by not doing ivf.
How do you cope with the needles and stress of IVF after losing your only child?
Powelly, how are you going hun? Thinking of you sweetie xxxxxx
Chris, GL with your op. on Thursday. How big is your fibroid and is it the only one? Where is is located? Sorry for so many questions, I feel like a fibroid 'queen' having had a massive one removed before I had Cam (it was the reason why I lost Josh), and I've researched for months on the topic.
Mine were three fibroids that grew together into one big one, before I did IVF (which we had to do anyway, the fibroid wasn't the reason why we had to do it) it grew to 14 cm. We still went ahead with the IVF treatment as it was too risky to try to remove the living fibroid, but sadly we lost our pg as the fibroid degenerated (died) in the uterus. Since the fibroid died and there was no blood supply to it anymore and easy to remove, I had the myomectomy op. in Jan last year and then conceived Cam in July through another cycle of IVF.
Hello Kate, I'm glad you decided to join this thread! Sweetie, it is sooooo easy to blame yourself for your loss, after all who else is there to blame when you are the one that carried your precious one? The thing is, we all do our best to protect our little ones, so when things go wrong it's so natural to blame ourselves. I think that when you stop blaming yourself (it took me a long time, and I only stopped eventually as I was getting some councelling which helped) you will get on track emotionally and be ready to face the TTC journey. It is a terrifying one, but taken by so many girls in here, with wonderful results. I really hope your stay here is a short one.
As for IVF, I have been down that path. My DF had a vesectomy done 14 years ogo (he was married before meeting me and has 3 grown children) so when we got together we wanted kids of our own. He had the vesectomy reversal done in 2007, and although the initial prognosis was that the op. went very well, the procedure was unsuccessful in the end. We were told that the longer you leave the reversal the bigger the chance of the reversal failing. So I was absolutely gobsmacked and terrified that we really had no option but to do IVF. I really wanted our children to be conceived naturally, so I really struggled with the thought of doing IVF. Fortunatelly I don't mind needless, and luckily I breezed through the treatment. I ovulate on my own, so the cycle was pretty straight forward, without too much intervention. The needles are sooooooooooooo tiny like a thin hair, that I didn't even feel the injections. The pinching of the skin hurt more!!!!! Anyway, enough of my rambling. I really hope you conceive naturally on your holiday, so hopefully no need for IVF!!!! GL hun.
Kateo - I’m so sorry for the loss of your DD, especially given your struggles TTC. You will find lots of support and understanding here. Like Beata said, you are not to blame for what happened, although I know it can be difficult not to feel like you are. I’m occasionally not on speaking terms with my reproductive organs since they are proving to be a bit useless for anything other than PMS and AF.
I have also been told that I am ‘too old’. Actually, I was told that at 38 (now 42). Since I have managed to get pregnant 3 times in the last year (unassisted), I’m starting to think that’s a bit of a load of cr@p, so don’t let anyone discourage you on that account! Although age is a factor, there is a lot you can do to improve your chances. Have you been to a reproductive endocrinologist or reproductive immunologist to try to determine why you have such difficulty TTC? There is a lot of testing that can be done, if you’re interested. If you can get to an RI, they tend to be more exhaustive in their testing. A good book to check out is ‘Is Your Body Baby Friendly?’ by Dr. Alan Beer. You may want to try this avenue before IVF to see if you can do it on your own, or if nothing else to improve your IVF chances (especially given the cost).
About the IVF, we did that a year and a half after our first loss. I am pretty phobic about needles, but I was able to make myself do the injections. DH gave me the progesterone shots (big needle in the bum). He was terrified of hurting me, but he did a great job and I barely felt it. Try icing the area for about 5 minutes first, then have the shot, then ice afterwards. It cuts down on the discomfort and bruising. The other shots are in the tummy. I ended up doing these myself. I almost threw up out of fear the first time, but I got it done and it got easier as it went along. The tummy needles are very short and very fine. You honestly can’t feel them, but it’s the actual skin breaking that freaks me out. If you don’t have a problem with shots, then it should be a cake walk.
About the stress, I can only suggest that you take time to nurture yourself. Listen to your body and make sure you’re emotionally ready to handle IVF. You may feel like time is running out (I feel like that all the time) but to go into a stressful situation when you’re already stressed out may not be helpful.
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of this, hun, but we’re all here for you.
Beata – Thanks for thinking of me. My fibroid (only one) is 1cm and only about 30% of it protrudes into the uterus – right at the top of the fundus, but not blocking either fallopian tube. The Dr’s not even sure he’ll be able to find it to remove it, but we’ll still try since implantation at that site will most likely not be viable. He doesn’t think this is the reason for my recurrent miscarriages, but removing it will improve our chances. The RI hinted that she thinks my primary problem is autoimmune and poor uterine blood flow, but she can’t say anything definitive until the test results come back. This is my second fibroid removed. The first was just prior to my IVF and was about 2cm. FX my doc can remove this one and that the RI can come up with some treatable reason for why we keep losing our babies.
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