Kateo - I’m so sorry for the loss of your DD, especially given your struggles TTC. You will find lots of support and understanding here. Like Beata said, you are not to blame for what happened, although I know it can be difficult not to feel like you are. I’m occasionally not on speaking terms with my reproductive organs since they are proving to be a bit useless for anything other than PMS and AF.

I have also been told that I am ‘too old’. Actually, I was told that at 38 (now 42). Since I have managed to get pregnant 3 times in the last year (unassisted), I’m starting to think that’s a bit of a load of cr@p, so don’t let anyone discourage you on that account! Although age is a factor, there is a lot you can do to improve your chances. Have you been to a reproductive endocrinologist or reproductive immunologist to try to determine why you have such difficulty TTC? There is a lot of testing that can be done, if you’re interested. If you can get to an RI, they tend to be more exhaustive in their testing. A good book to check out is ‘Is Your Body Baby Friendly?’ by Dr. Alan Beer. You may want to try this avenue before IVF to see if you can do it on your own, or if nothing else to improve your IVF chances (especially given the cost).

About the IVF, we did that a year and a half after our first loss. I am pretty phobic about needles, but I was able to make myself do the injections. DH gave me the progesterone shots (big needle in the bum). He was terrified of hurting me, but he did a great job and I barely felt it. Try icing the area for about 5 minutes first, then have the shot, then ice afterwards. It cuts down on the discomfort and bruising. The other shots are in the tummy. I ended up doing these myself. I almost threw up out of fear the first time, but I got it done and it got easier as it went along. The tummy needles are very short and very fine. You honestly can’t feel them, but it’s the actual skin breaking that freaks me out. If you don’t have a problem with shots, then it should be a cake walk.

About the stress, I can only suggest that you take time to nurture yourself. Listen to your body and make sure you’re emotionally ready to handle IVF. You may feel like time is running out (I feel like that all the time) but to go into a stressful situation when you’re already stressed out may not be helpful.

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all of this, hun, but we’re all here for you.

Beata – Thanks for thinking of me. My fibroid (only one) is 1cm and only about 30% of it protrudes into the uterus – right at the top of the fundus, but not blocking either fallopian tube. The Dr’s not even sure he’ll be able to find it to remove it, but we’ll still try since implantation at that site will most likely not be viable. He doesn’t think this is the reason for my recurrent miscarriages, but removing it will improve our chances. The RI hinted that she thinks my primary problem is autoimmune and poor uterine blood flow, but she can’t say anything definitive until the test results come back. This is my second fibroid removed. The first was just prior to my IVF and was about 2cm. FX my doc can remove this one and that the RI can come up with some treatable reason for why we keep losing our babies.