Happy Birthday GIGI! Hope you had a great day and it's great you managed to feel ok on the day. Make sure you do something special for yourself! Thanks also for the fantastic advice. I was truly petrified of what to expect and your calm words certainly helped me at that very difficult point.
To everyone who has given me their messages of support, THANK YOU! It's been a really rough week and whilst I have come to terms with the miscarriage, I'm now facing a whole new battle with questions like "will this happen again", "will I be able to fall pregnant again", "why did this happen", questions I'm sure we are all too familiar with!
To the newbies, welcome and thanks for sharing your stories. I've shed a lot of tears as I've hovered this week. It's a tough spot to be in but the success stories that come out of this thread should keep us all going! Good luck with your ttc journeys and may they be short.
AFM - I'm doing ok. Physically things are FINALLY starting to slow. The bleeding had been pretty heavy and the cramps really painful. I hate going to the loo for the constant reminder and I will feel so much better when things get back to normal. Emotionally I have gone through the motions. Whilst it has been so sad, part of me is selfishly glad it happened so early, after our last experience. I do get worried that I'll never have another baby and hate that the age gap is ever growing but these things are out of our control and the "control freak" in me hates that.
Anyway, just wanted to touch base. I'll probably be MIA for awhile now until things regulate so not sure when we will TTC. Good luck to all and hope to see some happy stories soon!
Powelly - good to hear from you girl....and don't be worried by your thoughts about sooner rather than later.... we all have to try and make our way through the grief, and in my experience, that thought process is one of the ways. I hope you don't beat yourself up too much with those questions..... there are no answers.... but as you know taking the step to start to tcc takes courage... I have every faith in you.... go gently my friend.
Gigi - I thing swinging is just a part of our everyday reality now..... it's just some days are more obvious than others in the extremes..... hope today the swing was only gentle with a mild whisper of a breeze.....an angels gentle caress on your cheek.
Gigi - Happy Birthday Hun!! I hope your day was overall a good one, even with the occasional spot of teariness.
Powelly – I’m glad things seem to be slowing down. Take what time you need to heal and nurture yourself.
AFM – Thanks to everyone for keeping me in your thoughts. Surgery went really well, but thank God for pain meds! I’m actually due for my next dose now, but am putting it off so I can write to you all with a somewhat clear head.
The surgeon was able to remove the entire fibroid (yay!) I was surprised since they initially thought they would only be able to get at the 30% of the fibroid that was actually in the uterus (if they could find it at all). They also found and removed a polyp in the uterus that didn’t show up on the u/s. I figure they’ll have the pathology back in a few weeks, but I’m not sweating it in the meantime.
Another bit of good news is that my GP said that he was willing to support me 100% with the RI’s treatment and monitoring protocol. That was a huge relief. I’ll also be seeing my new OB/GYN next Monday, so I hope he’ll be open to working with the RI too. I’m actually starting to feel a bit positive about our chances going forward now.
I’ll write more persies later when I’m not so drugged up (speaking of which – I really need to take those meds NOW!)
Yay hun!! So very glad it all went well and the surgeon was able to get the whole fibroid (hate the suckers!!!!! can you tell? ). I think you've got the right attitude sweetie, only forward now, without the obstacles!! When I had my sucker removed I felt sooooo relieved and free. I thought I had a clean slate , my mind was so much more clearer and I was heaps more positive and looking forward to the next go at TTC. Take your drugs hun, and I hope you're back to normal in no time. Big hugs and all the best for your app. on Monday with the new OB.
Grrr...lost a big post yesterday when my internet connection dropped out....don't you hate that.
Gigi - happy belated birthday sweetie! Hope you had a lovely day and were spoilt by those you love. May this next year bring you only good things!!
ChrisW - so pleased to here your surgery went well. It must be a relief - it always is just coming round from the anaestitic lol....hope those meds don't make you too loopy.
Powelly - take care of yourself sweetie and we will be here for you when you decide to TTC again or if you need a vent for whatever reason. I completely understand the age gap thing (sigh) but like you I am learning to let go of those things I can't control.
Kate - what a lovely poem. It did make me cry but just because it resonated with me so much. Welcome to this forum but as with the other newbies hopefully your stay is short.
Crumpet - wow look at that ticker! Hope you are doing well!
Dory - love looking at your ticker too sweetie in the preg thread!! Not long now!
Has anyone heard from CharlieB or Cmeggles. Would love to hear how they are going.
AFM - crazy cycle again. Almost certain I O'd on CD6! Think I am responding too well to AP as seem to O a day or too after treatment. Managed to get one BD in between AF and O so still in the running this month but worried lining won't be thick enough if anything did happen anyway. At least it is the weekend now so having DH around will take my mind off the TWW (who am I kidding!) but I expect to get a little crazy (or should I say crazier) this next week.
WOW, Thank you so much everyone. I had a lovely day. Glad last night is over...love a good party- when it is for someone else. Not that great with crowds these days...a few too many pressures for the old girl. Went well though and good to see everyone. xoxo
Chris- so glad it went well hun. Onwards and upwards...I hear you and totally agree. Rest up hun and will be here waiting to cheer you on.
Powelly- You are welcome hun. Hope you are feeling ok today. It is a rough period. Don;t know if it is your thing hun, but have you read the book SPirit Babies by Walter...M..something. It is wonderful and there are some lovely stories to help reason with these things. Might help with healing. Not everyones cup of tea though. Of course there will be even more questions than before. Sad but true, I hope you find your own answers for them. Even if you have to make a few up. xoxo
Dory- Yep I am a swinger! Today is a good day. I feel the height of my week is over. Got a bit of a little anxiety attack last night with everyone here. I wasn't prepared for a moment of it at all. My brother and mother took my N1 up to put him to sleep. I was completely fine that they use our bed. N2 and N3 were in the spare room and he always sleeps in our bed. Then i suddenly realised that DD's ashes were under my pillow (as they are always) and they were pullng the bed apart. I think I just about flip out of my body. I was out of my comfort zone and felt like our space, and DDs space had been trampled on. Mu was going through our bed side table baskets under the bed to find him a book... Oh dear I felt a little out of control of the situation. ANyway....it all calmed down and I don't know what they thought. I don;t care what they thoguht to be honest, but last night I was not prepared and didn't know what to think at the time. I just went into anxious mode.
All went well.
I also got some wonderful pressies, which weren't meant to but did. I got the game Cranium....AWESOME! AND I got a remote control button for my camera! So spoilt.
Love to all
Thanks Beata, Dory, Crumpet, Chris, Powelly for your lovely words. Yep...here comes a year of good things. Bring it on!
Thank Suzzzz. I have the same wish for you too hun. xoxo TWW, Now, lets see. I wish for you this next week to go slowly for your little womb to catch up a bit to the process underway....then I want Fast fast fast....You hear me Ms Universe! Bring our Suzie a bubba now! Boy or girl is ok...just bring it on.
Suz - positive vibes my sweet... all coming your way.... thanks for checking up on me too. It absolutely blows my mind that those numbers apply to me.
Gigi - I hear you so much. I can feel your emotions about having something very personal invaded. Don't worry about what they thought.... you were just being protective of your DD. People who love you will accept that.
Powelly - still thinking of you.
Chris - good to hear that things went so well and that so far two of your care providers are going to work in collaboration with each other. Yeah. Hope those pain meds are still working and you are recovering well.
Kateo and Ms tess - how are you doing?
AFM had my great nieces christening on sunday. it was nice. but I was struck by an unexpected wave of tears. just glad I was on my way back from the loo at the time. So I remembered and rejoiced the infinite beauty of my angels, had some quiet me time and then on with the show... I was a godmother after all. I suppose I didn't want to spoil it for my nephew and his partner by making it about me, when it was about their little daughter. It was weird being with all those peopl but good to see my Mum, Step dad and Brother... guess I am a bit like Gigi? And I am out of practice, what with being at home mostly on my own with the kitties. Oh excitement plus - only 3 more sleeps til my fur baby comes home from his 3 week sojourn at the vets. I am sooooo excited. I hope he doesn't resent me too much and give me the cold shoulder when he comes home..... but not to worry I will work him into kitty kat contentment! (ie food and cuddles)
). I think you've got the right attitude sweetie, only forward now, without the obstacles!! When I had my sucker removed I felt sooooo relieved and free. I thought I had a clean slate 
, my mind was so much more clearer and I was heaps more positive and looking forward to the next go at TTC. Take your drugs hun, and I hope you're back to normal in no time. Big hugs and all the best for your app. on Monday with the new OB.
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