TTC after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth #2 2010

Gigi - my thoughts are with for the weekend. Quite honestly? I agree - mind blowing that our lives take such a dramatic, heartbreaking and unexpected turn. Hard to actually believe it's been 12 months - so much has changed and yet at the same time it hasn't. I know your DD will guide her sibling to you. Sorry that you are getting pressure to return to work, Blah to them. If you and DH are happy with your decision, then that is the only thing that counts. Enjoy your road trip..... look forward to your exciting tales of adventure when you return.

I think I just got my BFP... Can someone else have a look for me? :o

Here's the linkie to the photo!

TeniBear: Just had a look and it looks like a BFP to me. Congrats Hun. That is awesome news.

A big hello to everyone here. I have been MIA for far too long. I have no idea where everyone is up to, I am terribly sorry. I will try my best to get up to date with everyone.

I just thought I should update everyone. My last cycle I stopped clomid as I am booked in for a laparoscopy just to check to see if everything is in working order. Anyway, yesterday I POAS and got a BFP but didnt believe it so I did another one later that day and than another this morning and yep, they were both BFP also. So I now no longer need that laparoscopy. My Operation appointment has now turned into an appointment with OB at his rooms. I also have an appointment with GP tomorrow so hopefully she will do a BT to see how far along I am.

FX that this one is a sticky one.

All the best to you all and sending lots of baby dust to you all. I will do persies to you all soon.

Teni - that looks positive to me! CONGRATULATIONS hun!!!!! :happyforyou:

Hope - CONGRATULATIONS to you too sweetie! :happyforyou:

Lets hope all this BFP starts to rub off! ;)


Love and hugs to everyone!

:grouphug:

Yaaay Hope :) Congrats to you, then :leap:

Teni, yep, there is definitely a line there!!!! Congratulations hun :leap: you deserve this so much. Here's to a happy, healthy, safe and booooooooooooring next 8 months or so!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So glad I popped in this morning :p

Congrats to you too Hope, wishing you a happy and healthy ans safe pg!!!!

Yay for exciting news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beata xx

DS Joshua 01/10/08 21 weeks, born an angel into heaven, our heart and soul
DS Cameron 16/03/10 safely earthside, the love and light of our lives

CONGRATS TENI!!! That is such awesome news. Does this mean you'll be having a little March baby? YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh YAY!!! I'm so excited for you both!! Congratulations Teni and Hope :happyforyou: :confetti: :confetti: :confetti:

Fingers crossed for some more BFP's in here now!

Sorry Hope! CONGRATS to you too! I don't think we've spoken before. I've been in here for a couple of months. What an exciting month! Fingers crossed for more BFPS!

Hi Powelly: I don't believe we have. I have been MIA for quite some time. Last time i poster here was on the 27th May. Wishing you all the best on your Journey.

Teni: So it turns out that you do have psychic powers after all, you were just a month out. So maybe now you have a new occupation. All the best for this pregnancy. Looks like I'll be seeing you in a new thread.

Samcougar: Congrats on your BFP also. I just went through and read up on everyone and noticed that you had a BFP. That is great news. All the best to you and your pregnancy.

AngelicDragon: I am saddened to hear the you are quitting your TTC journey. All the best to you for whatever new adventures your life will take.

Susie Q: Glad to hear that you are over the Chicken Pox. You poor thing having to deal with that. I have never had chicken pox before so I can only imagine what it is like. Have a great time away in Italy. Hopefully it will turn out to be the trip that you needed.

ChrisW: GL with your appointments. Hope everything goes well.

Gigi: I totally understand about DTD in your parents house. DH doesn't seem to care and can't understand why I turn him down when we are away visiting. My M comes to our house often as she is recovering from Breast Cancer and she lives in a rural town so she comes and stays with us for all her appointments. I don't even like DTD when she is here at our home. Hope your time away at Noosa helped out. GL with catching that egg.

Crumpet: Have you had your stitch done yet or when will you get it done. Can you please fill me in on it (pm if you would like) as I also have to have a stitch done and am really worried about it. I don't really know much about it also. Have you booked in your 3D scan yet for your DH to see bubby? Does he know you are doing that or are you keeping it a surprise?

AFM: I am about to tell the story of getting my BFP so for those of you who will find this too painful to read, stop reading now. I really dont want to upset anyone.
My last cycle started on the 14th of June and pretty much as soon as it stopped I got really bad thrush. The worst I have ever had. The thrush cleared up for a day so DH and I DTD (once) and unfortunately the thrush than returned. I am still battling to get rid of it completely. It's nearly gone but just keeps giving a little niggle. This cycle was our first cycle with no clomid as my OB booked me in to do a lap for this Friday to check that everything was in working order as we hadn't conceived on clomid but was ovulating. I really believed that it was impossible for me to be UTD this cycle cause we only DTD once this cycle and I had thrush all cycle, blah, blah, blah. So I went out on a girls night out (something I don't usually do) and had a bit to drink, I am not usually a drinker. I have had canasten (sp?) tablets, pessaries and cream. On Friday last week I woke up with a cold so got straight into the cold and flu tablets. I had been eating all the stuff that I hadn't eaten in a long time (just in case) like peanuts, processed meats, lots of junk food. Anyway, DH kept saying to me that he thought I was UTD but I didn't think so. I partly thought he just hoped I was so I didn't have to have the lap. So when I woke up on Sunday morning I asked him if he would like me to POAS to make sure. So I went and POAS but came straight back to bed to not even look at the result cause I was 100% sure the test would be BFN. DH got up and looked at the test and said that there was a second line. I didn't know whether to believe him or not so I went and checked and to my surprise there were two lines. I still wasn't convinced saying that he checked it after 10 minutes so I did another test later that day (a digital one this time) and it came flashing up on it nearly straight away "pregnant". Just to be sure I did another test on Monday morning, and yep, it was a BFP also. So on Monday I rang my OB's rooms to cancel the lap and now instead of seeing my OB in the operating theatre on Friday I will be seeing him on Friday in his rooms. I also have a GP appoint today so hopefully she will do a BT so I know exactly how far along I am. So yeah, that is my story. I hope this gives you all a bit of hope also. I really hope that it didn't upset anyone. If you would like I can drop back in from time to time with updates.

Everyone in here has been through what I have been through or worse so I know that you would all understand how I am feeling right now. I am totally over the moon cause of the BFP but at the same time really nervous and scared that it will end the same way as the last two. I really want this bubby to be a sticky one.

I am also worried as I have to have a stitch a bit later on and really don't know what to expect from that. I just don't want anything to go wrong.

Anyway, enough about me now. Wishing everyone gets their BFP real soon. Hope that the recent ones rub off onto everyone here. All the best and I will keep checking up on you all.

Baby Dust to you all.

Hope, you have given me exactly that... hope! I'm pretty sure we missed O this month and only DTD 3 times so I have been feeling pretty bummed. It's nice to know it can happen like that. I'm CD22, moody as all get-up and pretty sure it's not my month :-(

All the best for you and well done! Sometimes not focussing on it works wonders! The nerves are normal and unfortunately expected in our situations, but just be positive and keep those good vibes :-)

Hi ladies

A huge congratulations to TeniBear and Hope! Fantastics news! :leap::dance::confetti:

And Hope thanks for sharing your BFP story. Maybe your DH is psychic just like TeniBear!

Gigi - I hope you are having a relaxing time on your holiday. I understand about your DD should have turned 1 on the weekend; that is something that has been playing on my mind, and upsetting me, these last few weeks as August approaches for us. Keep your chin up hun, don't let that mojo disappear!

Dory - a new toilet! Wow - that is an unusual gift! Hope your furbaby is doing ok. Has he had his b/t done yet? I hope the tablets are working and he doesn't need to have radiation therapy. I hope you don't get any more scares... this little one has to hang on to full term!

Crumpet - thanks for dropping by. I can't believe you are 14 weeks already! You go girl!

ChrisW - I hope you managed to get your cycle sorted out. Sometime I wonder if it would be better to not test and just go with our body's natural rhythms. That is how we fell pg last time. I have no idea when I o'd that cycle, just that we got a BFP.

Powelly - I have my fingers crossed for you that you didn't miss your O this cycle!

SuzieQ - what a bummer about the timing of your best ever EWCM and the chicken pox! I hope your little one gets over it soon. I had it when I was about 22 or so - what a nightmare.

Hi to beata, samcougar, cmeglles, and everyone else.

Sorry for being MIA ladies, I had decided to take a short break from BB while my FS was away. I just needed to clear my head of all things TTC. I even stopped the weekly b/ts while she was away as I just couldn't face the phone calls of more bad news about my levels. DH and I have spent some time talking about ED and what it entails. I have also joined Aussie Egg Donors and posted a few times, but still haven't decided exactly where we are headed next. I guess I am still waiting for our appointment with my FS on Thursday.

I have taken the week off work to just relax. Work was so crazy busy and stressing me out to the max that even though DH couldn't take the time I decided to be indulgent and just have some me time. I spent a few hours with my dear friend who is 38 wks pg. We even went shopping for a few last minute baby things - it was my first journey into the baby dept of BigW for more than 2 years, and I did pretty well being surrounded by babies and pg mums. At her encouragement I had a b/t done this morning so that my FS would have an idea of what was going on (I still haven't had a period since being on Clomid :wall:). I was pleasantly surprised when I got a phone call from the FS's clinic with my b/t results. It looks like I will ovulate in the next day or two, and the nurse advised me that there was a strong chance of multiple pg if we did get a BFP this cycle. That would be the best 'problem' to have as far as I am concerned! So, DH will getting lots of loving from me when he gets home from work tonight! ;)

xx

Hi Ladies,

I don't want anyone to get too excited, but I did an HPT this morning and did see a very faint second line. :o

Going for b/t today and Thursday to confirm. I guess the complete lack of LH really was telling me I'm pg after all. Now regretting all of the vacation drinking. :wall:

I should be excited but I'm having trouble feeling anything but numb since we never seem to get past the 5 week mark. My best guess is that I'm CD26 which means my body ignored the progesterone supplementation and started making eggs even though I hadn't had AF yet. If I can make it to July 24th, then that will be the longest I will have made it in a pregnancy. DH and I will be holding our breath until then. I'm still going to my RI appointment next week since she may still be able to help.

Wish I felt more positive, but honestly I'm just scared to death. Now seriously unhappy that my RE would not agree to put me on low dose prednisone for the ANA when I was diagnosed last month. At least I know the RI will take it seriously. Maybe the folic acid and baby aspirin will be enough. Sorry for being such a downer, but I'm just really scared right now.

Hi ladies,

Cheryl, yay for ovulatiing sweetie!!!! So happy about that hun, and so glad your friend made you call the nurse. I have absolutely everything crossed for you my sweet, I pray that you get your BFP very soon (on this cycle would be sooooooo good, with twins or triplets maybe??? hehehe). Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is your turn now hun!!

Chris, a quiet congrats here......hoping and praying this bub sticks for you!

Hi Gigi sweetie, I hope your DD's EDD last weekend was peaceful and gentle on you. Big hugs hun xxxxxx

Hi to everyone in here!!! Baby dust ans sticky vibes to all!

B xxx

ChrisW- :hug: Congratulations sweetie I really hope this is a sticky bundle, I have everything crossed for you. :stickyvibesgirl:

Hi ChrisW, Also quietly congratulating you. Can you ring your FI and tell them that you got a positive result on a HPT and see if they can get you in a bit earlier or is it this week that you are going anyway. I'm sorry, i know I said I am quietly congratulating you but I am just very excited for you, yay. I know this is way easier said than done, but try not to worry too much and stay positive. I have total faith that this bubby is a sticky one for you.

KUP hun.

OMG teni massive congrats hun!!!! thats exactly what my BFP looked like when i first tested this time round!!!!:dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance :

sorry ive been MIA have just got home from hospital.....
had my stitch done on monday, all went pretty well so it seems, and OB is VERY happy which i figure has to be a good sign!!

hope everyone else is travelling along well...... lets hope there is more BFP's to come!

Hi Crumpet. Glad to hear your stitch went well. Did you have any pain or discomfort from it? Were you under general or local? Hope you don't mind me asking these Q's but I will be having to have this done also and I am so nervous about it. Not too sure when I will have to get this done (what week). I really don't know what to expect. I'm so scared something will go wrong. How far along in your pg are you? I am only about 4 weeks at the moment. I will be seeing my OB on Friday. Thanks in advance for any advice/help you have.

Sorry Crumpet, just realised your ticker says you are 15 wks.

ChrisW - wow! that snuck up on us didn't it? A quiet (but very positive) congratulations from me too hun. I am sending you truck loads of :stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl: that little one snuggles in nice and tight for the next 8 months! I hope you get some good advice from your RI next week. Best of luck hun :hug:

Hope - I haven't had a stitch but I know some other ladies in here have so I hope one of them can answer your questions. Dory I think you had a stitch from memory?

AFM, DH was very keen to follow the nurse's instructions so we have been busy last night and then this morning. But I had the luxury of rolling over and going back to sleep this morning whereas my poor DH had to go to work. Oh well, it looks like I picked a great week to take a break from work! I just hope that there is lots of :fertilise: going on. A BFP is just what I need right now... one, twins or triplets, I'm not fussy!

Oh and I just got my uni results - I got a HD! I calculated I got full marks for the last assessment, which was a take home exam. It's my first HD in this course so I am wrapped. And this was the semester where I wasn't trying for anything more than a pass. Just shows what can happen when I don't obsess over things and try to make them perfect. Now if only I could have the same result with TTC!

Take care all, I'm off to do some baking for DH as a treat!
oxo

Teni - I saw your post in the other thread before this one. Def a BFP in my mind! Again congrats. Awesome.

Hope - congrats on your BFP. I had a cerclage inserted at 14 weeks and its still holding nice and tight. Mine was under general and was day surgery only. I recovered really well and had no adverse affects to the light anaesthetic and had only very mild bleeding and cramping for a few days after. Emotionally and physically I felt so much better and stronger. My Obs says mine will come out at 38 weeks. From memory Crumpet's obs was thinking of doing hers under spinal/epidural and Crumpet was expecting to be in hossy at least overnight.

Crumpet - good work! Hope your are recovering well. Can't wait to hear more details.....

Chez - thanks for asking. The tablets did work well - but we decided to have the radiation treatment as he's a young cat and the treatment is 95% curative. Worth a try. He goes in on Friday morning, after me next obs appointment. Absolutely well done with your HD. You sound so chuffed and so you should be. I wish I could give you your BFP...

Gigi - hope your road trip has been peaceful.

Hiya to everyone else, sorry not too many persies tonight. All good here.

:

---

Hope - congrats on your BFP. I had a cerclage inserted at 14 weeks and its still holding nice and tight. Mine was under general and was day surgery only. I recovered really well and had no adverse affects to the light anaesthetic and had only very mild bleeding and cramping for a few days after. Emotionally and physically I felt so much better and stronger. My Obs says mine will come out at 38 weeks. From memory Crumpet's obs was thinking of doing hers under spinal/epidural and Crumpet was expecting to be in hossy at least overnight.

Crumpet - good work! Hope your are recovering well. Can't wait to hear more details.....

---

yep ur right hun mine was done with spinal and sedation.... and was in hospy over night, was meant to be 2 but i was to uncomfy so got my OB to release me early!

like u i have had light bleeding for 3 days, seems to have stopped over night which im rapt about, i get the odd twinge here and there but nothing im worried about, my OB did say id get achy here ans there.

we are going to take mine out at 37 weeks, OB's choice and im happy with that, im getting to close to xmas if i wait till 38 weeks! lol......

im doing ok recovery wise, bit slow on my feet and my BP is low from the nefedipine but thats ok, ill be off that in a few days..... have a scan next week to check on things and a OB appt to so ill be happy to see worm is going ok and to get a good report from my OB

Dory: Thanks so much for your info on your cerclage. Between what you have shared with me and what Crumpet has shared, I feel I can go in to this with a little more understanding and confidence. If you dont mind me asking, did you have the nefedipine tablets also?

Crumpet: Glad to hear that your bleeding has now stopped. I bet that is a relief lifted off of you. All the best for your scan next week.

AFM: I'm off to see the OB tomorrow. I'm a little excited but at the same time worried. I want to know everything now about how we are going to approach different things but I doubt I will know all that by tomorrow, lol

Hello to everyone else on here.

Hope - I don't remember having nefedipine. It wasn't prescribed to me following the procedure. It may have been something I was given during?. I presume it's to stop/prevent contractions - as that's the purpose it has been given to me in the past. But then again that might be because I don't fit any classical definition of cervical incompetence. Sweetie - do as much as you can and find out as much as you can so you can make informed choices, but let go of the illusion of control, if you haven't already. At least for me, that made this journey a little easier. Good luck tomorrow.

Crumpet - good to hear you are on the mend and you've got a date with your little worm again next week. Got to love these little dates....

BTW - I have my cervix checked every week to every couple of weeks via either ultra sound, speculum or internal examination. That is certainly something to look forward to....

Hey Lovely Ladies,

Just a quick one. I'm heading away for a few days. Will be glad to take my mind off the last days of the tww! AF due Mondayish and I'm moody, bloated, and cramping so not holding out much hope that I'll get that + result this month :-( (Had some sort of weird spotting though on Tuesday, like small specs of blood...... weird)...

So glad to have heard of some BFP's this month! Well done!!!!! Will check in when I get back next week.

:-)

Hello Ladies,

Thank you to everyone for your support, but it appears that I had a false alarm. B/t and all subsequent HPTs came back negative. AF is not due until next Wed though (I think) and my bbs are really sore, so we may not be out of the running yet. If I can just keep myself from squinting at that evap line..... :rolleyes:

Sorry for the quickie. Sticky vibes to all of you pg lovelies and baby dust to the rest of you (got my heart set on multiples for Chez)!!

:grouphug:

Just popping in to say that I'm definitely leaving you lovely ladies :grouphug: My bloods came back with great numbers so there's no doubt any more :) Hopefully I'll see you all soon in the preg threads!

Ps - if you want to stay in touch more, you can add me on FB (Tenielle Reid) or read my blogs :) Lots of love to all of you xox

ChrisW: What a huge bummer. I still have my FX for you that AF doesn't show and that you are UTD. All the best.

Powelly: Enjoy your time away. Make the most of it hun.

Tenibear - All the best in your pregnancy and look forward to hearing how you are going. Make sure you pop back in.

Hope - thanks for that! I had a great time away, although it was hampered by my PMT! Still no AF but I'm sure it's any minute now.

ChrisW - any updates? Bet that was like being on a little emotional rollercoaster.

As for me, had a great time away. My DS tired me out massively and I had awful PMT/PMS, terrible cramping, mood swings and many tears in those quiet moments alone. I've never had such awful PMS before in my life. It seems to have gotten worse after having my DS and seems worse again since we started trying. Strange stuff. Oh well, all settled at home and back to work tomorrow. I just wish AF would hurry up already and put me out of my misery!

Big hugs to all and sorry for the lack of personals. Still catching up!

*sniff sniff*
I'm gonna miss this thread :crying:
Hope to see you all in the preggy threads soon!

Hi ladies

Teni - hope to see you in the preggy threads too! Good luck with everything :hug:

Powelly - sorry to hear about the PMS - it's just cr@ppy isn't it? Glad you had a good time away although it sounds like you a longer break would have been even better. But then it always is isn't it?

Hope - hope your ob appointment went well.

Chris - damn POAS tests and those evap lines. Sorry to hear that isn't good news for you hun :hug: Hope your cycle sorts itself out soon.

Hi to Gigi, Dory, cmeglles, crumpet and everyone else.

Well, there is no chance for a BFP for me this cycle. I had an ultrasound this afternoon that my GP arranged for me - another story - after getting my b/t results from my FS. I have a 4cm cyst on my left ovary and one tiny follicle and an old follicle on the right. So despite the clomid and pregnyl I haven't ovulated. So I am stopping the pregnyl even though I haven't spoken to my FS. My TCM recommended that I do that and I agree - I think we are just 'feeding' the cyst, which is big enough now thank you very much!

So, back to the drawing board. We're off to see the IVF clinic next week and pay lots of $$ for an IVF cycle about which I am not feeling positive or confident in any way. I just can't help but wonder if my body is able to produce any good eggs at all. Anyway, I am trying to keep my chin up, but it is very hard some days.

Take care all
oxo

Chez - thanks for the hello!. Sorry to hear about your cycst and old follicle. It is tough... and it's ok to feel sorry for yourself. Big hugs my friend. You always have my love and supprt.

Hi to everyone else, I have been MIA, missing my poor cat ( in hospital following radioactive iodine treatment), and feeling sorry for myself as I have a cold. Hopefully will be on the mend soon. Take care.

Hi everyone. Wow lots happening.

Massive massive congrats to Teni and Hope!!! Wishing you both an uneventful 8 months. It is nice to see some BFP's ....lets hope some more are on their way....
ChrisW - sorry to hear about your false alarm - hope you are doing OK as it must have been a tough up and down couple of days. FX AF stayed away??
Dory - your poor furbaby...when does he/she come home? Will need lots of TLC as do you! Hope you have a speedy recovery from your cold.
Powelly - glad you had a nice time away though your PMS sounds horrible!
Chez - aw sweetie not sure what to say. Just sux. Big hugs.

AFM - no BFP. Just bitterly disappointed and don't think I have actually come out of my funk yet. On CD 4 now and feeling low. Shouldn't really have expected success on first month but you can't help but hope can you. Having weird AF as well....back to weekly accupunture for me to see if it will help.

Had a lovely time away (except for getting AF on last day!). FIL was also starting to get on nerves - trying to hold my tongue was getting hard! Luckily IL's have headed to Paris for a couple of days . They have been great with DS though so I should just suck it up!

Babydust to all xx

Hey Ladies!

Well there's been a reason for my crazy mood swings of late. I got a BFP this afternoon. My AF was due on Monday and never arrived and I've been cramping all week and in tears and my boobs were so sore but after POAS every day with negatives, I was sure I wasn't pregnant. I decided to try and relax last night on the advice of a friend and had two glasses of wine. With no periods again today I decided to buy a First Response and up came the BFP!

Immediate reaction: FREAKED OUT! (Especially because I had a couple of wines last night :-(

I'm extremely happy but also extremely nervous about getting to my 20 weeks and hoping that the wine I had didn't do any damage. Can't believe it!!!

:happyforyou: CONGRATULATIONS POWELLY!!!!!! :happyforyou:

OMG that is such good news!! We're having so many BFPs, FX the trend keeps on! :dance:

Teni, Hope, and Powelly - I hope you all have a very uneventful pg. Pop in occaisionally and let us know how it's going. We're going to miss you.

Chez - I'm so sorry that the clomid didn't work. I know it's hard to keep your hopes up, but IVF may do the trick.

SusieQ - Glad you had a good time (even if FIL was getting on your last nerve). Sorry that AF showed up. Try to keep your spirits up.

AFM - I want to thank everyone for their support, but AF showed up on Tuesday. Had a u/s the same day and showed several follicles, so I think I didn't O for whatever reason (sigh). At least the BDing was fun! I saw the RI on Wed and they gave me a thorough going over. It will be three weeks before all of the test results come back, though so I'm on pins and needles until then. One thing we did find out is that my uterine and ovarian blood flow is pretty poor (measured via u/s - very cool to watch). Unfortunately my left ovary is pretty much shut down (not surprising since it didn't respond to the IVF in 2008). I think they will put me on Lovenox to increase blood flow. Does anyone know of anything else that might help?

Hugs to everyone! :grouphug:

Take care

:happyforyou: CONGRATULATIONS :happyforyou:

Powelly, what fantastic news! :dance:

:hello: Hello to all you other lovely ladies, i hope you are all traveling along well.

WOW, Girls you have been busy.

Congratulations to Powelly, Teni and Hope. Hope for us all. May your journeys in pregnancyville be happy and healthy. Love and congrats to you all. xoxoxo Hope I think it was much easier as horney teenagers!! dtd at our parents house etc...

Chez- Thanks for thinking of our DD hun. I am so sorry it has been a bugger of a month for you guys. To be given a glimmer of hope was a gift and then to catch up on your recent events just broke my heart. I hope you got some lovely rest for your time off and I am thinking of you sweet. xoxo Oh and well done on those results you clever cookie.

Chris- Sorry hun that this month was a no go. I hope you are getting some tlc right now. I am thinking of you too. xoxo

Dory- Thanks sweety, hope you are doing ok. I hope your little cat is doing ok too. It is horrible when they are sick. xoxo

Susie- Bummer that Af has turned up. Sorry it is another month down for you. We girls need to stick together in here i think. I am sure we are all just around the corner from a BFP.

AFM- I am back from a wonderful week away. We have nicknamed it our bogan holiday as I think we ate badly, behaved badly and had an all good time with very dear friends...remembering the good old days.
Today is the first opportunity since we got back that i can spend a moment to catch up with my girls.
It was awesome being able to just slot into someone elses family life for a week. It was just what we both needed. Stayed up late, woke up late, playing cricket in the park, boardgames...ate chocolate, drank too much wine. Great fun!

On the TTC front, we didn't ovulate this month...i don;t think anyway. CD28 today and CD1 also as Af has started. She is a little angry at me this month...no doubt for the way i have treated my body this last week but hey...all in moderation. We never let loose to that extent. Not sure i want to again either but time will tell. We gave it a good shot but not many signs for ovualtion at all. No CM, no ov pain, no desire or libido. Temps all over the place and Just a posiitve ov test. Not enough to go on.
I didn't expect to be pregnant this month. DH was so tired before we left loving turned into an argument and then a long and wondeful talk all the way down there. He got to find himself again and got to see how lost he allowed himself to become. Work had swallowed him whole and there was no balance. It is all very well that I am here to take care of all that is needed on the home front. But there is some satisfaction in doing things at home. Anyway...we have sorted that out and have got a whole lot more balance.

Our beautiful angel DD would have turned 1 this last week and if we were to forget for just a moment, we would be reminded with the birthday party of a friends' little girl born when DD should have been. We were not invited but i am comfortable with that. We would never have gone. We are not all that close and because of that i woul dmuch rather things be real and upfront. Our dear friends go to the trouble of thinking further for us and that is all we need.
We spent the week with friends that have lost 4 babys so they were aware and thoughtful. It is weird though, in saying that, we probably talked about it a little less as there was just an inbuilt understanding there. They understand your pain, they have their own, your thoughts are often intertwined. It was lovely.

Anyway...that was a nice chat...hope you are all well.
As usual this time of the month brings a bit of glum and gloom for me and within the next few days I feel renewed. It is funny but right now...I am over it all. Don't want to fight for it anymore. I am done, dusted and moving on. Hmmm how it all changes is beyond me...and maybe oneday it won't. For this moment i feel like throwing in the towel from sheer frustration and disappointment...and knowing I am in for an uncomfortable couple of days. xoxo

Hello Ladies

Don't know where to start, so I will start by introducing myself. My name is Tess and we are our 4th month of TTC after loosing our son Matthew (born sleeping during labour at 39w2d) I was trying to locate somewhere on the internet where there were women of similiar circumstances and that I also didnt feel like a huge thread killer, being a newbie.

I have 11 days before I AF is due... and once again I am highly anxious as a few things have happened this month that has made me very scared and excited all at once about being pg.

Hope to get to know you all and am glad to have found a group of lovely caring women.

Tess

Hi Tess, welcome and so very sorry you find yourself needing to be here. You will find a wealth of love and support not to mention the all elusive...understanding and knowledge that only experiencing this loss can give you from these lovely ladies in here. We have formed ourselves a bit of a group here...although three have fallen pregnant in the last couple of weeks...numbers are dwindling. Hope the fortune rubs off on you too.
I am so sorry that your baby Matthew grew wings too soon in life hun.
My fingers are crossed that you find yourself staying a short time. I hope your feelings this month are on the mark and you find yourself excited and nervous for all the right reasons. 5mths is not very long ago, take care and be gentle.
Good luck Tess xoxoxo

Welcome Tess. So sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your son Matthew. As Gigi said, you will meet some very special women in here who will give you unconditional support in your TTC journey. I was only in here two months and I got a BFP yesterday which I'm still getting my head around. Unfortunately for us ladies, the BFP brings both excitement and happiness and hope, but it also brings anxiety, stress, worry and fear. May your 11 days go quickly, just try and keep yourself busy and try not to read too much into things. I was SURE I wasn't pregnant this month and had 5 BFN's before my BFP yesterday afternoon. May your TTC journey be a short one and know that you have us (I'll be hanging about for awhile!!!).

As for the rest of you awesome ladies, thanks for my congrats and thanks so much for having me! You are all such beautiful ladies and I'm going to miss chatting to you, although if you don't mind, I'll still say hi! As I said above, I'm still moving from happy to freaked out every 5 minutes and hope that calms down! Until I have this bubba in my arms, I'm not exactly celebrating just yet...

Baby dust to all and thanks for being such a supportive group :)