Spring - Thanks for the chat last night, as per usual I felt so much better afterwards. Hopefully you did too And I am hoping you are doing ok today with the packing and everything. I am going to see GP near home tonight about the c/pox vac (pushed my way in - not like me at all, lol) so I will post later to let you know what they say.
Bec - Your birthday is 1 day before my Mums on the 22nd - hey at least you get pressies though I am going to see how I go over the next couple of days and if I am not doing well or picking back up again I will call SANDS Vic. I sometimes think what you used to about joining Nicholas, but wouldn't do it iykwim. Sometimes I think it would just be easier and all the pain would go away, but then I also realise that I need to keep going for my family and for Nicholas. I imagine he would be so angry with me for giving up. Hoping your day at work is going ok, it sucks huh!
Baily - How are you feeling today? I am glad we have all been able to comfort you, even if it is just a little. You are so right about the two type of loss you experience, you have an emptiness inside but also an empty nursery and every dream, hope, want, and everything image you conjured up in your head of doing with your bub is just gone. You are right no one could possibly understand the agony that causes, and nor would you want them to I guess, especially those close to you. I'm sorry but I can't help you with info about caesars because I had a natural delivery, but the wait is not too long. Keep us informed how you get on Thursday.
Well, all of our wordly possessions are packed. Boy do we have too much stuff. It has been an emotional few days. When the packers (all ladies) arrived today I explained to them about Harrison and how it was really important to us that everything in his nursery was packed very carefully. Of course I cried and they were all a very understanding, a little shocked but very understanding.
DH took the dogs for a run this morning before we started packing. He always wears an Ipod when he is running. I noticed he had got back but that he was staying out in the yard with the dogs, crying his eyes out. I ran out there and realised what song was playing on his Ipod, it was that song I'll be missing you. It goes
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
I'll be missing you.
DH doesn't cry often, he is the type of man that wants to be the strong one but I just held him while he sobbed. I guess even the strong need a shoulder to cry upon.
Mel: great talking to you babe. let me know how the C'pox injection goes. I hope for you that it is good news. Sure they can't just give you a tablet (lol)
Bec: Wow a 21st that is a huge milestone. Do you have anything special planned? I know that special events such as birthday's are marked with sadness for us but I hope you have a magical day full of treats and wonderful birthday wishes.
Bailey99: Hun I don't know if a c-section delays how long before you can conceive. Perhaps post a thread in the Conception (general chatter forum) I am sure someone in there will know. For me I was like you and I thought every day that passed was a day further away from my dream of having an earth baby. My Ob gave us the all clear at 4 weeks to start BD again and I got my first AF at 6 weeks and then my cycles have been farily regular since them. I am actually expecting AF on Sunday so hopefully she stays away and I get that BFP I have been dreaming of but if not, the TTC journey continues for us. Ring you doc babe about when you can start. You are right though, the innocence is gone and if it is possible, we will be even more stressed out while pregnant. Have you heard anything about your tests. No matter the outcome, I want you to know that it is not your fault. We have a tendancy to blame ourselves but that is not what our angels would want.
Anyway, I have to go and change Telstra and all our addresses (which I hate doing) so I'll pop in later. We haven't packed the Laptop so that I can catch up with all you awesome gals.
I called back to say I hope you all get what your looking for in 2007, Im just so sorry that any of you even had to be here and I do truly truly hope that all your dreams come true and that one day soon you are holding that baby in your arms.
Im in kinda weird place today.....I should have been 17 weeks and then I realise that this is the time that some of you lost your angel babies or even later and I feel that maybe I shouldn't be here, I can't even begin to imagine your pain and even though I have tried to stay positive for some time now Im only kidding myself... lets face it after 13 miscarriage am I really going to get one more chance and lets face it I have my special gift from God and maybe if I spent more time thinking about him instead of my self I might feel a little better. I have spent seven years trying to have one more child and nothing, so maybe someone is telling me this is as good as it gets and to look at what I have.....you must all think Im so selfish. Im so sorry about my rembling on I think Im just typing as it comes to me...........so anyway im not sure where im at maybe its just fear that I may get pregnant again only to have it ripped out from right under me and if happens again, beside there is no where else to go, no stupid answers no more stupid tables or injection for me to take but the end of one very long road. Boy people think your strong to be able to go on ...I dont think im strong just can not do this anymore.
Please don't any of you ever give up till there is no more you can do.....and yes it may sound weird comming from someone whos sounds more like and insane person but please always follow your hearts and good luck. all my love dreamxxxx
And I am hoping you are doing ok today with the packing and everything. I am going to see GP near home tonight about the c/pox vac (pushed my way in - not like me at all, lol) so I will post later to let you know what they say.
I am going to see how I go over the next couple of days and if I am not doing well or picking back up again I will call SANDS Vic. I sometimes think what you used to about joining Nicholas, but wouldn't do it iykwim. Sometimes I think it would just be easier and all the pain would go away, but then I also realise that I need to keep going for my family and for Nicholas. I imagine he would be so angry with me for giving up. Hoping your day at work is going ok, it sucks huh!
the wait is not too long. Keep us informed how you get on Thursday.
Bookmarks