Hey there all,

OMG, how irresponsible... I only woke up an hour ago, didn't sleep well last night so I have slept all morning leaving DH to look after the 3 kids on his own (the only excuse I have is technically they are not mine - is that gonne work? Nah didn't think so, lol). What a great example I set!

Jo - I agree, and I am hoping that taking the pressure off will help. Although I will probably still feel that pressure inside just without letting DH know. But without sounding like complete freak, I want that pressure and I need it to get through the days. I hope you are doing ok?

Lynn - That is a beautiful poem And, I second everything Spring said. I often wonder if those days where you feel completely overwhelmed with emotion and sadness will every go away. I think they may start to be less frequent when we hold our earth bubbas in our arms, but even after that I feel they may always rear their ugly head. I will send you an email a bit later on today, thanks for wanting to see it makes me feel great

Spring - You know what I believe, a line is a line. I understand that you don't want to get too excited at this point, I would probably be doing the same. But, as far as I see it if you aren't pregnant you get zip, nothing! I remember on the day I found out I was pregnant with Nicholas, I did a pharmacy test at home which came up with an absolute positive within about 2 seconds (I think it was Crystal Clear brand) and after my initial freak out decided to go to the doctor to confirm it, and when the doctor had me do a wee test there it came up with nothing and then after about 3-4 mins a very faint line appeared and he said that I was still pregnant, just the HCG concentrate may not be all that strong. Since then I have wondered if different tests are more accurate or sensitive than others. Are you using the tests from that online place? Maybe if you can be bothered you could go to pharmacy and buy a good brand test to see if it is any different on there. If you get a faint line on that also, I think you can safely feel quite confident.

As far as your concerns go, don't stress about whether you have done the right thing. I know you were going to look into having more tests when you get to Sydney, but if you are already pregnant it is a great thing. I believe in feelings, you say you have a feeling things will be different this time. After learning about everything from before you got pregnant, during and then at the end, I too believe everything will be ok. As you know that is the reason I decided not to have the vaccination and that I am not going to avoid TTC this month meaning if I succeed I won't be able to have the hysterogram, I know it may be the wrong thing to do but deep down I believe they have found the causes and I really do think things will be different next time (admittedly that calmness may chance if and when I get a bfp). When are you actually due to AF again? Also, don't quote me but as I remember it Deb actually said that a 12 day luteal phase (think that's what she called it) is ok, and its a shorter one that may cause early miscarriage because the closer you get to AF being due the less time there is for implantation, which takes days, before the uterus starts preparing to shed. Deb will correct me if I am wrong when she gets back but that's kind of what I remember her saying. If you do end up getting a definite positive just try to seek out an OB in Sydney and interview them to see if they feel confident about delivering a healthy baby and in turn make you feel confident they can. If you feel either of those things get another opinion until you find someone who makes you feel that way. Remember that my new OB said that if I was pregnant at the time I had those tests done that they would deal with it.



To everyone else, I hope you are all well. Deb, looking forward to seeing you back online.

Love Mel