TTC after Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth after the 1st trimester ~ Jan 07

Morning all,

Clare - yes he can play and he has more personality (don't forget the cheeky :grin:)

Bailey - I'm with Nat, you should join in anytime. Just cause your not TTC atm doesn't mean you can't just chat, and still gain and give support. Hey and there is no mercy on the Hewitt's... you make your bed you lie in it :lol:... and they did, literally!

Nat - Sorry meant to say last night that I thought what you said about the antibodies was pretty clear (got so sidetracked by hewitt-bashing that it slipped my mind, lol). Thanks for all that info, can't wait to get back and see OB to get the run down on exactly what will happen next time. I agree with you about the strength of mums to angel babies, I definitely feel Nicholas has made me stronger and I don't really let anyone push me around anymore (guess you could say I have become a b$@!*). Oh and too funny about the "comeon, comeon" comment but... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew :eek:

Anyway, at work today so guess I should actually do some :rolleyes:

Have a good day everyone.

Mel

Mel I think it was you who asked (sorry been away for a couple of days & there are loads of posts to catch up on), re the levels changing I'm not sure. All I know is when they initially tested it after Thomas's loss the Pathology form said "negative" with no actual numbers written on it, this time they came back with the numbers "12 & 9" written on it & when DH asked the OB about it she said that obviously they were really low for them to consider them a straight out negative. So I guess maybe they can change?? I don't really know.

And for the record my first bubs (James) was a premmie born at 32wks & he weighed 3lb13oz (1738gms) & he was smack bang in the middle of the top & lower end of the percentile weight for his gestation.

Hi girls,
Hmm gotta agree with the Hewitts saga, I can just imagine Bec running late and him yelling out come on ..he is a dill.
Not much happening here just eating like a bird and drinking lots of water oh the things we do.
I'm glad everyone is well...I cant help with the antibodies, my girls were incomp cervix and prem labour babys. But a few of my friends have been on heprin and had great results.
I had a little baby here this morning ooh small...btw Eliza was born at 37 weeks and was 8lb8 but classified as BIG lol
Bec

Wow! I stepped away from the computer for a while and look at all the posts. I have to say though you girls made me smile, even a laugh (think that was my first). I tend to agree with all said about the Hewitts so we will leave it there. Clare, love your comment about Shelby holding your hair when you puke and Nat, yes she probably does have someone puking for her - wouldn't that be nice. Although sort of looking forward to m/s because it can only mean one thing....... I think I am visual scarred by some of the comments - come on!!!!! :)

Mel - thanks for all the info, it did make sense. I hope you get all the info you need when you next see your ob. Sometimes searching the net can give you more questions than answers. I have been trying to find out how a cord accident happens. I know deep down that there is no answer and that it is just an accident but looking seems to help. Cooper was probably going to be a gymnast with all his somersaults (DH would have hated that, he had already decided he was going to play soccer :) )

Clare - your continued posts don't upset me. I would love for you to stay and chat. Reading your posts gives me hope and I love to hear how you are going. Like Mel said, hopefully one day soon we will all join you. I would love to make you a bracelet, I have found so much comfort in mine and I hope you do to. I will email you and we can discuss further. I'm so glad that your scan went well - look forward to hearing the next update on splodge in 3 weeks. I think I will be like you requesting scans. If I had it my way I would be hooked up to a machine for 9 months lol

Bailey - I felt exactly the same way as you - like you were alone. I think we all did. You just don't hear about these things happening until it happens to you. We are all here for you and would love for you to join in. I know when I first started, I didn't know what to say or how to say it. Now I just type whatever comes to me - sorry if I blab :)

Nat - of course I can make you something. I will email you and find out what you are after. I have a memory box that the hospital gave me and I keep Cooper's pictures, ultrasound pictures and dvds, poems and little angels and trinkets in it. Every now and then I look through it. I haven't been able to watch the last dvd yet as it shows him moving around and his little heart beating. At the moment it is just too hard to watch that. I am also planning on doing a scrapbook but just don't know where to start. I just don't feel creative or crafty at the moment but I guess I just need a kick start and by making you and Clare something that might get me going. How did you go with all those kids! You will probably need a big sleep once they have left :)

Thanks to everyone who wrote about the size of their bubbas. I guess each baby and every mum is different and there is probably no right and wrong weight.

Anyway, I saw my ob this morning and he said that my ovaries are good (not enlarged due to taking Clomid) so that is good news. I have to go for a blood test tomorrow to check my progesterone and insulin. Based on my temps, opk, cm, maybe baby and any other test that is out there that I am doing, it shows that I haven't o'd yet.......although today was the first day that I got a faint line on my opk. Think I will take it as a + just in case. Today is day 21 - I have never been regular thanks for pcos so I will see how the blood test goes and see what it says.

As for Cooper's weight - ob said that he was small. He said that based on the softness of the skin he had probably passed about 2 days before he was born. He said that when they die, they do shrink and lose weight. However Cooper probably would have been a small bubby. If there was no cord (I only wish) and his heart was beating when we had the ultrasound, he said that they would have seen that he was small and then decided on what to do. I asked whether his weight had anything to do with me not putting on weight while pregnant and he said no. I was eating properly so I'm not sure why I didn't put on weight - I should be happy about that I guess............. I asked the ob what I was feeling in the few days leading up to Cooper's birth if it wasn't him moving. He said that it was contractions. I told him I am angry with myself that I didn't know sooner that he wasn't moving and he said that it is hard when you get to the end because there isn't a lot of room and bubby doesn't move as much. I am scared that if I didn't know this time how will I know next time....................

Hope everyone is having a good day
Lynn
xxxxxxxxx

Just read my post and thought I should clarify something. When I wrote "If there was no cord (I only wish) and his heart was beating when we had the ultrasound, he said that they would have seen that he was small and then decided on what to do." In terms of what to do - I meant induce or keep him cooking to see if he got bigger.

Oh Lynn sweetheart what a terrible dilemma you must be feeling you are in atm. When we go through situations such as you have we always question ourselves afterwards, believe me. I second questioned every feeling I had when I fell pregnant with Thomas after losing Alex & in the end I had to tell myself to try & relax & go with the flow of the pregnancy (so much easier said than done), I had to learn to retrust myself & my judgements ~ again not very easy at all. And I have no doubts that another pregnancy will be even more fraught with worry but I guess I'm going to have to try & find a way to deal with it all ~ infact I have organised for the counsellor that I am currently seeing to continue to be involved should we ever go through another pregnancy.

Be kind to yourself & don't doubt your ability & instincts when the time comes.

:

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I told him I am angry with myself that I didn't know sooner that he wasn't moving and he said that it is hard when you get to the end because there isn't a lot of room and bubby doesn't move as much. I am scared that if I didn't know this time how will I know next time...

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Lynn - Please don't be so hard on yourself. Your ob is 100% right. I remember the last 5 weeks with Brigid I would be lucky to notice her move once a day. AND I was having b/h all the time. Hell when I finally went into labour I thought I was constipated! I truely hope there is no next time, all your future pgs will be happy and healthy. Regarding gaining/loosing weight during pg... your body will give the baby all the nutrients before meeting your needs. The fact you didn't gain weight probably meant you were eating the right types of food in the right quantities. Trust me if it was an issue the OB would have told you.

Bailey - I'm not ttc but I still frequent here.

Clare, & Spring (fingers crossed) - don't go anywhere, your being pg gives me hope and i would be happy to share the news of your pg. What lovely women you are to both think that somehow your happiness would hurt any of us... its not like that at all... your happiness gives us hope, and joy, and the promise of bettter times ahead.

Lol - bit dumb here... I knew who llyton was but had to think about Bec... how sad is that!... finally got it.

Ok wont be arround for a while, I have had a kidney bleed (pre-existing condition and the continuous heat is affecting me, might need to move to Antarctica if I ever want to TTC and carry to term).. and will need to be in and out of hospital over the next few days for IV fluids and anti-biotics. Hope you all keep safe and sending baby dust out there for all of you with lots of sticky and BFP vibes.

Just a quick one.........hows Nadal, my god his arms and the bum in the cargos!!!!! I think Im starting to like tennis more and more. DH told me to go to bed if Im only watching for the men....comeon!!!!

Jo I hope your alright and your stay in hospital is not to long, sending prays your way for a quick recovery. lots of lovexxx

Ill post tomorrow i do need bed, four boys was fun but tyring (big girls are teenages).

Talk soon, sweet dreams.xxx

Hi all you wonderful women

Sorry for not doing personals but I have only just caught up on everything that has been happening. The internet only just got connected and I was having major BB withdrawls. It thing DH was getting a bit sick of me asking 'is the internet connected yet?' (lol)

Well I went and had a BT for HCG levels yesterday and I get my results at 2.30pm. I have been testing every day and the line is as dark as the control. The GP was absolutely terrible. Not only did she speak very poor english she didn't listen. I had just explained about how Harrison was stillborn and about the cyst in my milk ducts and the stupid cow asked me how long had a breastfeed for. WTF!!! It is hard enough telling a stranger without having to repeat myself. DH ended up getting really angry and took over explaining to her. I have booked in with 3 High Risk Obs in Sydney and am going to see each of them. If I like the first one then I will stick with them but if not at least I am booked in. The one who sounds the best to me is Dr. Andrew Pesce at the Westmead. He can't see me until 13 Feb ( on holidays) but he has given me the name of a local GP Dr. Sue Ng who he highly recommends. I am going to go and see her weekly for the next three weeks, more so for my piece of mind. It is so much better when you find a Ob who listens to you. I hope he works out and that DH and I trust him.

The other drama that happened is that we had a frantic dash to the 24 vet last night at 11.00pm. We have a border collie cross and we were out playing with him and noticed that he was unsteady on his feet. All of a sudden he fell over and I lost the plot. DH rushed him to the Vet because I thought that it might be a tick or bait. The vet said that because it has been really hot and it is a dry heat in Sydney, Frank just isn't drinking enough and exercising the same amount. Some dogs just play until they drop and that is what Frank did litterally. As you can imagine I spent the entire night checking on him so after three days of unpacking and a night without sleep I feel like a zoombie.

Oh well, got to go back to the stupid GP this arvo and then never again. I hope my HCG levels are perfect. I will drop in later to update and do personals. I think if the HCG levels are good, I actually might let myself announce that I am pregnant. Boy am I nervous.

Luv
Spring.

:hugs: Ohh Spring how exciting I hope all your levels are fantantic!! Might have to surf around for awhile rofl.
Poor puppy hope he gets better soon, Thankfully we have cooler weather today...I hope it heads your way soon.
Bec

Afternoon all


Spring Im so glad to hear your in Sydney and up and running on the internet. Ive missed you! Im sending lots & lots & lots of +++vibes your way and that level is a big three digit number. As for the GP just because they have been to uni means nothing.....Im glad you found a new one and that you have confidence in your new OB. Poor puupy I hope he's back to normal soon what is it with these kids you just can't tell them!!!! May be an afernoon nap for you would be a good thing!

Bec How you going on that diet? I will be joining you if nothing happens by March I will be on a mission! So is it low carbs, high protein type of thing? have you done it before if so did it work?

Lynn How are you? Hope your off getting creative! And thanks the kids were fun but as I said last night I was stuffed!

Mel Hope work is beening good to you today. try not to do to much!!!

Kirsty,Clair, Bailey, Deb and anyone else are you good? Hope to talk to you all latter today. I'll be back soon to hear from Spring.

Nat: I've been on it for 3 days lol but have lost 3 kilos, I know rapid loss isnt heathy but it is working for me. All protien..limited carbs if you goggle cohen lifestyle dot com au it will explain it more. Its just a pain that I know I have to do it before TTC seriously but who is to say that the side effect is increased fertility and I aint complaining about that.
Bec

Thanks Bec I'll get on and have a look, i am hopeing that I do fall next month and dont have to worry for the next 9!!! but who knows. We are going away for 5 days so I dont think I'll worry to much till I get back as im sure there will be a lot of drinking!! Do you want me to have one for you?

P.S Thats great 3kilos you go girl!!

Well it's official, I'm UTD!!!!

The HCG was 430 which considering I am 17 DPO is pretty good.

You would think that I would be excited but I was so nervous going back to the rude inconsiderate GP that by the time I got there I was in such a state that my BP was 150/90 :eek: Not that the GP did anything to relax me, she didn't even tell me I was pregnant for the first 5 mins and just gave me a lecture about my BP. Oh well, I am never going back so who cares.

Thank you to each and everyone one of you for helping me get through every single day to date. You have been my saviours. I am not game enough to leave the TTC thread yet so you're stuck with me for a while. Oh my god I'm pregnant :grouphug:

Luv Spring (and Lil' Spring)

OK spring, its 3.15pm over here in Perth so you muct have had your results by now ....comeon. (that must be our new catch phrase lol) Hun I so hope they are awesome numbers.

lol Dream, I got in trouble the other night for ogling Brad Pitt at the golden globes, how could you not ogle that hunk? DP said. "you know I am sitting right here" hee hee. They were talking about Nadal on sunrise this morning, trying to work out what undies he was wearing under those cargos, so funny.

Well I went to the GP again today, he had my ultrasound from the other day. Bubs was measuring at 5w6d with a heart rate of 113bpm. So happy to see that number. He was a lovely older GP who also works at the hospital were I am going to have bubs so he totally understood why I was so petrified. I have another ultrasound referral for 3 weeks time, so hopefully bubs is measuring at least 9w, I will be able to exhale then. He has also put in a referral to the antenatal clinic for an urgent early booking in appointement so I can have access to counsellors etc free of charge.

Will be sticking around for your post Spring.

WOOHOO, YEAH SPRING
they are awesome numbers, one healthy little bean in there. God I am so happy for you, I think I am more excited for you than I was with my BFP :lol: OMG I cant stop smiling. Now you can have cravings for green apples and water like bec hewitt. lol

:happyforyou: Yeah Spring, Im so happy for you both, that is the best news today......well for a long time! Levels sound wonderful so bring on the M/S not to bad just a enough to keep you happy.

Dont you leave us, I want you to hang around and pass those BFP vibes around. Im just so, so, happy for you the best news.........have a great night tonight.xxxxxx



(I will post everyone else tomorrow)

Thanks guys, I am glad you said that my numbers are good because I didn't really know. I just want to get excited but I am so petrified that I feel sick. I know it will start to sink in soon and I hope that my syptoms get worse (lol) bring on that m/s

Well it is official now, even my ticker says so.

Thanks so much for your unconditional support.

Love Spring

PS DH's cousin is coming over for dinner tonight so I will have to visit BB on the sly, we are not telling anyone yet.

:happyforyou: OMG!!!!! I am sooooooooooooooooooo excited for you Spring - congratulations!!!!!! Bring on the m/s. You are not allowed to leave us yet. Like Nat said, pass some of your BFP vibes around!!! :grouphug:

Big hugs to you and lil' spring :hug:

You have made my day..............my week. I have a MASSIVE grin on my face (and a little tear - but a good one) because I am so happy for you. I have had a pretty rough week but today I was doing better.........now I am more than better. :)

I TOLD YOU SO!!!!! :dance:

I am so happy for you :hug: I have to admit I don't know what normal HCG levels are either (folks are dumb where I come from, lol) but all these gals are very cluey so I would agree they are great!

I will have already text you congratulations by the time you read this because I have to, but all the same CONGRATULATIONS. By the way, tell DH I said job well done :clap:, lol

Talk soon,

Love Mel

P.S. I TOLD YOU SO!!!!! :biggrin:

Oh and Clare, glad to hear that bubba has a strong :heartbeat: :)

And also Spring, I hope Vinnie is ok and well hydrated now. Maybe he is just trying to get you used to those sleepless nights ;) Bring 'em on hey!

Spring what fantastic news hun...I wish you a great 9 months
Bec

Spring what wonderful news sweetie you deserve it!! You have made my week so much better.

And for those that are remotely interested there is a page here with suggested HCG levels at different times.

Clare, Dream, Lynn, Mel Bec G and Kirsty

Thanks so much guys, you really don't know how much your support means to me. And I am glad I am not being kicked out yet because I have plenty of spair :bluedust: to spread around.

Clare: Glad to hear that your little bean has a nice and strong heartbeat. It is amazing everytime you see the miracle that is growing inside you isn't it. Big warm congratulatory :hugs: to you babe.

Lynn: How are you today honey? Have you got much done on Coopers garden in this darn heat? I know you have had a rough week so I hope that you are starting to feel a little better. I will have to go outside tonight and look up for the Southern Cross if it is a clear night and say hi to your little man.

Kerry: OMG a kindney bleed, I hope that everything is ok hunny. Let us know how you are going once you get a chance. Sending heaps of Get Better Vibes your way.

Mel: Well yes you were right. You know you are awesome but a huge thanks for everything that you have done to support me. I think I might need another of our 4 hour phone chats to debrief after my run in with the stupid GP. I know it is O time for you so get your jiggy on girl and I hope :fertilise:

Kirsty: I have read through your posts about your results babe and I really hope that the answers will bring you that mirical that you desire. Thank you for your comforting words, I just hope that you are blessed with a BFP soon.

Dream: Hope you enjoy you time away babe, where are you going, hope the weather is good for you and you don't swelter. Have a ball.

Bec G: Awesome news that you have lost 3 Kgs in such a short time, that is amazing. Just take care of yourself but I hope for you that the kilos just keep dropping off.

Well me, Frank seems to better but is driving us insane as we are not able to exercise him at the moment and he doesn't seem to understand. Anyway, I am still worried about my high BP which is no doubt making it worse. DH has a BP cuff because he was a medic in the army so he is going to take it morning and night. I think I have a major case of White Coat Syndrome and just get so nervous going to the doctors that I feel physically ill. Oh well, better get used to it again, pleanty of trips ahead of me. Has anyone else had a problem with high BP? As of yesterday I have cut out all salt and increased my water intake. Any other suggestions?


Anyway, I'll pop in later to say hi.

Have a great weekend, Luv Spring

PS

Thanks for the HCG levels Kirsty, it made me feel heaps better :)

:confetti: Congratulations Spring!:confetti:
I hope you really do spread that extra :bluedust: around
Cheers
Bailey

Hey everyone,

Spring - sorry I can't help you on the high BP. Mine was ok when I was pregnant with Cooper. Hope someone else can help you. How is Frank - hope he has calmed down and drinking plenty of water. Thank you so much for thinking of Cooper and I hope that you do get to see his star tonight (i hope we don't get a storm). He will be waving down at you and wishing you all the best and sending you the biggest hug. :hug:

Jo - I hope everything is ok and look forward to hearing from you when you are back on line. Thinking of you.

Nat - hope you are having a great time away and find time to relax. Thank you so much for the chat - you have such a positive way of thinking and it made me feel so much better after the week I had.

Clare - glad to hear that bubs had a good heartbeat. Thinking of you.

Well today we started Cooper's garden. Here I was thinking we could have it finished in one day :rolleyes: DH wants it to be perfect so was making sure that the blocks lined up perfectly so it has taken a bit longer than expected. Plus he had to cut some which meant hiring a brick saw and the heat hasn't helped. The temp said that it was 38 degrees. DH is now having a sleep - I think he got a bit burnt. We should have it finished tomorrow which will be nice. I just hope it is as beautiful as I picture it in my head.

My friend dropped over today (with naughty afternoon tea - I've been so good!!!!) and gave me a beautiful crystal dream catcher. It says when suspended in direct sunlight it will cast a myriad of brilliantly coloured perfect rainbox spectrums around the room. It is just gorgeous. I now just need to find the perfect place to put it. Another friend's mum gave me a Swarovski Star with a little tag with Cooper's name on it. That is gorgeous too and I need to find a spot for that as well. I love receiving things like this as they are just another way that I can remember my precious angel.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Oh Mel - your best friend is on the TV tonight - are you going to watch him........comeon!!!!

Hi girls,

Well this is my last post till Friday because we are going away yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! I cant wait, ive packed the bags, done the shopping and purchased to alcohol. So just need to go!! We are heading off to the Hawksbury River. A house we have hired and you can only get there by boat! I will have a drink for you all .......especially those "with beans".

Lynn It was so hot today, I was thinking about you both doing the garden......hope DH recovers! It must be nice to see Coopers garden comming together. Don't forget those photos. Also what day are you at? maybe a BFP is heading your way soon:pray: . Im glad you feel better, anytime. p.s forgot to tell you last night way up there, we were looking at the stars, DS asked about the southern cross, it was so clear, I told him I knew someone whos angel baby star was there and we all made a wish.

Spring What medication are you, on if any this could have something to do with BP? Its not to high and if you cant stand Drs then this could cause a rise. Im glad to hear your puppy is doing better is he drinking more? actually how do you make them drink more? Thanks for the wishes Im hopping for hot weather to sit around making and drink strawberry Daquiers by the pool/water! so.........common!!! Im still so happy for you, everytime I think of it, it makes me smile, Oh I went over to my neighbours to see the twins.........I so much need a baby, I even thought of walking out with one! Like she would miss it. hee hee They were very cute and tiny. Stay well.

Mel Your prob Bding or something like that, well I hope you are the +++++are comming thick and fast around here so your up next!!!:fertilise: catch those eggies.

Clare Great news on the scan,I have to agree with spring about how amazing it is to see that heartbeat it is the ultimate feeling Im very happy for you.The Dr sounded so reassuring it must make you feel a little better, im glad he was so good to you.

Bailey I hope your doing ok. Hope you have a good weekend.

Bec Thanks for that info, had a quick look but will do more once back from hoilday......oh yeah and put on more kilos!!!! have a great weekend I'll make sure one drinks for you!!

Well as Ive already rubbed in re the hoilday (boy Im like a child in a candy shop) way to much, I'll be going off to try and sleep. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and week ahead, keep safe and talk soon.xxx

Hey Lynn, Thanks for asking about Frank, he is my baby so as you can imagine I was worried sick about him. He seems fine today but is really going stir crazy because we can't take him for a walk or play fetch. He is totally addicted to fetch so I think he is having withdrawals. Your DH must be a tough man to brave today's heat, it was insane and is supposed to be worse tomorrow. That is a great Dad for you. I just went outside to look for the Southern Cross, I don't know if what I thought was it was correct but nevertheless every star that shines brightly is just like a gourgeous smile from Cooper. I feel the same way about sunrises. Harrison was born as the sun was rising and my sister got us a picture of the sunrise the day his was born and had it framed. Everytime I look at it I think it is Harrison smiling at me.

Hey Dream: I am not on any medication and I have now decided I have a serious case of white coat syndrome. My DH used to be a medic in the Army so he has a BP Cuff and stethoscope (sp?) He has been checking my BP periodically throughout the day and it is now 135/70, Still a little high but nothing like when I was at the doctors and it was 150/90 :eek: He is going to keep checking it day and night over the next week just to be sure. I am just so petrified of doctors that I work myself into a real state. I am going to get a referral to a psych soon so that I can start to work on some other stuff also. I guess I generally just stress heaps which isn't good for me. Have an awesome holiday hun. You are away for about 5 days arn't you? Will you have internet access? If not can't wait to hear from you when you get back.

Mel: Sending all the :bluedust: your way. On the other important upcoming event, I hope you don't mind me spilling the beans but I do believe that it is a very special B'day for you in only 11 sleeps. I am a big sucker for birthdays so I hope you don't mind if I make a fuss. I know this birthday is going to be bittersweet in some ways but I am going to do my best to make it special. Hmmmm, now to think of ideas..... Leave it with me ;) I know the ultimate birthday pressy would be a BFP so I am sending you all the ++++++++++ive vibes I can muster.

Clare, Bailey, Bec, Kirsty and all you other faboulous gals, I hope you are having a wonderful weekend.

I think I am the only person around here who likes Lleighton Hewitt but he is getting seriously beaten at the moment so COMEON!!!!!

Luv Spring

Hey everyone,

Spring - Glad to hear your BP has gone down a bit. Any morning sickness setting in? How are you feeling today? Increasing water intake is good, but is it good to cut out ALL salt? I thought you got muscle cramps with lack of salt, but don't quote me I am only going on that I had severe leg and feet cramping when I was pg and the OB said it was lack of salt and to take magnesium tablets. Oh and by the way, I think you are the only one who likes Lleyton Hewitt... but that's ok we won't hold it against you, lol ;) By the way how is DH, he must be so excited. I am so glad this happened for you before he started working, it will relieve alot of the pressure for you. What date is the appointment with the first OB? Is that the one on my bday or did you get into one sooner? I wonder what they will say and if they will put you on any meds and what plan they will set out for you as bubba grows? You must be looking forward (or anxious might be the best way to put it) to seeing someone now. And yes, you are allowed to spill the beans that I am leaving the 20's - actually I really don't mind turning 30, the main reason I am not looking forward to it is because all year I had been thinking I would be a mum by 30 and it would be my first birthday celebrated as a mum, and while I know I am still a mum and all but you know, its not what I had planned but its ok I will survive, lol.

Lynn - What a beautiful present your friend bought you, it sounds like she put alot of thought into it. I read a reply to your original post tonight, I am not really sure what the lady meant (although I think I do if that makes sense), I hope it makes you feel good. And all the best with finishing Cooper's garden, I bet it will turn out as perfect as you hope. You will have to show us all when you are done.

Jo - Hoping everything is ok and that you can join us again soon, ya poor bugger.

Nat - You will have already gone but I hope you have a great holiday with DH and DS, how relaxing!

Deb - Thought you were back but maybe not. Hope all is well and you are having/had a great holiday.

As for me, the ticker I created says I O'd yesterday but what the...? I put in the details that 1st day of last AF was 8 Jan with ovulation on day 14, now I know I am no maths wizz but I calculate day 14 to be today, am I wrong? Anyway, did O test only once yesterday about lunch time and it showed no line at all which is a negative, I did another one this morning around 12 and the 2 lines were both really dark and the same darkness so I obviously took that as a positive, then did one at about 7 tonight and it had a really faint line which is a negative. I thought they were meant to get darker if you tested throughout the day!!! Anyway, I am just about done with the O tests they drive me nuts cause I must be stupid, I don't understand them at all. I did say I wasn't going to be doing that this month but I had 5 tests left and thought I may as well use them, if anything for enterainment value, lol. I ended up speaking with DH and telling him that even though I agreed to not go out of my way to try this month he had to know that I am well aware of my cycle (I just can't lie or deceive, it is a curse, lol) and do know what days we are meant to be trying anyway. He said he kind of figured that I would know seeing as I have been counting every single day since I got first AF after Nicholas, he said he was happy to try if that is what I wanted so we agreed that we would still try and if we don't succeed we will take it as a sign I am meant to get this hysterogram done (I say that now, but you know I will be posting on the day AF arrives all depressed asking what are we doing wrong). So I don't know if I have O'd or am about to but either way we started bding Friday and will continue to until about mid week (sorry if tmi) cause then I figure we can't go wrong, right? So anyway, only time will tell I guess. I have to admit I am not feeling as much pressure this time cause I have convinced myself that the reason I haven't fallen pregnant before now is because something was stopping me until I went to have those tests, and to figure out something WAS wrong afterall - call me a psycho if you will, I just keep wondering if that is the reason. Sort of like everyone in here keeps saying, your body will know when it is ready and the time is right.

DH and I had a great night last night. We went to an Indian Restaurant in the city for dinner (yum) and then went to see The Pursuit of Happyness (yes, that's how it is spelt in the movie I promise) at the Director's Suite in Melbourne Central. If anyone doesn't know what that is, its Hoyts version of Gold Class. Movie was really good, didn't get home until about 1am and that is pretty late for me I would have usually well and truly turned into a pumpkin by then! But how's this - we thought we would not be lazy and catch the train in to the city and we got to the station and they had cancelled all of the trains on our line! How rude, I told DH that's what we get for not being lazy so next time we are going to be lazy regardless. I have 24 hr parking near the city for work anyway so we parked there and caught a tram to CBD.

Anyway, I have babbled again... In my defence I haven't posted for a couple of days so I had to make up for it, lol. To everyone else, hope you enjoyed your weekend. Its Monday tomorrow :crying: I really wish I could be a lady of leisure!

P.S. Speaking of ladies of leisure... Glad to see Lleyton is out, Bec won't be happy at all... now they will have to rely solely on her WD diary income (yeah right :rolleyes:)! Hey, she could always hock the ring, lol. Bit harsh about the lady of leisure thing, she is June Cleaver afterall!

Morning lovely ladies how are we all? I hope you are all well.

Not much going on here, we had DH's 40th Saturday nite & I think he is still recovering!! I am sitting here waiting for 9am to rock around so I can see if my hysteroscopy is still going ahead this afternoon (& secretly petrified that they will say yes). I rang Friday morning to see what would happen if AF showed up over the weekend (coz she was already 3 days late) & they said to hang off cancelling the op until this morning as she may not show at all ~ well she showed up Friday afternoon & I've had 2 & a half full on days of bleeding & it has dropped off a lot today. Anyway the midwife said that the OB who is doing the procedure this afternoon is in the clinic this morning so she will talk to her about whether they may still do it if AF is here & to ring them & see what is going on. So I got up at 6:45am & had my light breakfast of yoghurt & started my fast just in case it all goes ahead today. Part of me is absolutely terrified, after all it involves going under general anaesthetic & everything else & part of me just wants it over & done with. So as much as I'm hoping they may say we can't do it, I've gotten myself so worked up to be ready for this that I hope they say they can go ahead & do it anyway.

Nat ~ your holiday sounds divine right about now, hope you are enjoying it immensely. I am so jealous, we so need a good holiday but maybe one days oon we'll get around to it.

Spring ~ it sure is sounding like 'white coat' BP issues for you sweetie. I have had BP issues during all my pg's & am currently medicated (probably overly cautiously so by my Dr in case of another pg) for high BP. But it sounds like you are doing all the right things by drinking lots of water & reducing your salt intake.

Huge hi's to everyone else hope you are all ok & am thinking of you all.

Well I probably won't be back until maybe tomorrow providing I get the go ahead this morning. If it doesn't go ahead then I guess you'll see me before then.

Kirsty, I hope that everything goes really well for you today. Thinking of you

Thinking of you Kirsty, assuming that you got the go-ahead as we haven't seen you! Hope all went well, let us know how you are when you feel up to it.

Hi Kirsty, I hope that everything worked out for you today. I am assuming that because you haven't been back that the hysteroscopy went ahead. I know what it is like to want to just get something over and done with. I don't know much about what the procedure involves but I hope that you aren't in any discomfort and that the results are what you want. Let us know how you are going when you are up to it. Oh and happy 40 belated birthday to DH, from the sounds of it he had a great party.

Mel: I got totally confused when I set up my ticker also and I have no clue what is going on with yours. OPKs were sent to frustrate us but if you got a dark test line then I would take that as a +ive. I think that Bding until mid week is a good idea just incase. I am sure DH won't object. About your birthday, I can relate to the fact that you thought you would be spending your 30th as a Mum but hey, I don't need to tell you babe that you are a Mum and an amazing one at that. I am trying really hard to think of a special pressy but I have a bit of time yet so I might have to spend a few lunches shopping in Sydney, not that I'm complaining. Oh and about my BP, I haven't cut out all salt but I have drastically cut it down. I am convinced now my high BP is stress related because eveytime DH takes it is fine.

Well I am not feeling sick yet, although I wasn't sick at all with Harrison so maybe I will get away without it. To be honest I wouldn't mind some symptoms just so I know everything is ok. The only symptoms so far are major increase in creamy CM (sorry if TMI) and that I am really tired even after a full nights sleep. My first appointment isn't until 13 feb when I will be 9 weeks. I also have an earlier appointment booked on 29 and one on 31 with two different obs. The one I really want to go with is on holidays and that is why I can't get in until 13 however I might go to the appointment on the 29 just to have a scan even if I don't end up going with that ob. I don't know, some part of me just wants to leave it until the 13 but I will see how I feel later in the week before cancelling any appointments.

Anway washing has just finished so I'd better hang it out. Hey to all you wonderful women out there. I hope you are all well.

Love Spring

Spring - CONGRATULATIONS... I am so very happy for you and your DH. Don't worry about not feeling sick... lots of pg women don't! Feeling exhausted, even after a full nights sleep is such a great symptom so don't worry about the no ickiness... hell give me fatigue over prayers to the toilet god any day. I am just so happy for you, oh I said that didn't I.

Mel - You are a mum, you held your precious baby and you have photos. Just because your angel has already gone to a better place doesn't make you any less of a mum. Will be thinking of you for your Birthday and wishing that you get the best present of all.

Kirsty - hope everything went well.

Everyone else - hope you are all doing ok.

OK now for me.. I got to spend 7 hours in the hospital getting iv fluids and anti/b's. They were talking about maybe a course of dialysis just to try and take the pressure off my infected kidneys but I opted to give the meds a try first, besides I had too many things to do for Brigid's birthday. Have been really down and tired the past few days and have spent time each morning and night at outpatients for monitoring but am doing ok. I know the weather was bound to catch up with me sooner or later so have just been waiting for it to hit which means I cought it early enough to avoide being stuck in hospital which when your a single mum is the last place you want to be. Bridie has some health problems (low absorption rate and levels for iron) and has been on iron injections and monitoring since she was 3 months old. Anyway she had her 12 month review and instead of admitting her for some tests to try and work out what was happening they have decided to 'test' a theory and just let her go for the next 3 months and see how she goes. She will still need a monthly blood test but not all the other needles so that was some good news.

Oh I should say, if anyone gets upset by me mentioning Bridie please just tell me and I wont mention her. I fell bad when I do mention stuff about her and would understand if you don't want to hear it at this time. Please, please just let me know so I can adjust posts.

Anyway.... heaps and heaps of sticky vibes and baby dust to everyone who needs it... it seems like a new year, new beginnings, new opertunities.

Spring, you are more than welcome to some of my m/s.

Kerry I think I can speak for everyone here, when I say noone will take offense to you talking about your DD, she is part of your life and you should feel comfortable talking about her. Poor little thing needing those iron injections - ouch. I have the same problem as Bridie but I am not a 3 months old having injections, and those things are horrible.

Kirsty I hope all went well today, when you are up to it (or if anyone else can explain) what is involved in the actual procedure you are having done? I have never heard of it before.

Mel and Dream hope you are both well.

Lynn - how did you go with the garden, bet it turned out lovely.

Nothing new for me, still pukey. I quit work today. Just had enough of putting up with the stress and feeling sick doesn't help. Only 17 days until my next scan. :crossfingers:

Hi girls just a quickie, I am back (obviously) & still a bit sore & uncomfy.

For those that asked a hysteroscopy is where they insert a tiny camera into your uterus to make sure that all is ok in there ~ no defects in the lining which may hinder a placenta implanting or bands or anything that may hinder a baby growing properly. So they knock you out (general anaesthetic) & then they dilate your cervix & off they go, I think they also did a D&C while they were there (can't remember if they said they did or not when I spoke to the Dr in recovery).

So now today I am a bit sore & bloated a bit like having a really bad period & all the pains associated with it. But will get there slowly.

Thanx for all thinking of me & I think I remember the Dr saying all looked normal while they were in there!! But will know for sure at our follow up appt on Feb 12th.

Back later when I can sit still longer more comfortably.

Kerry, Ouchie for your little girl having injections, she sounds much tougher than me, whenever I have a needle I have to lie down for half an hour or I pass out :eek: I hope you are feeling better also sweets. Make sure you take really good care of yourself, I know it is a busy time for you but take as much time out as you can afford. Also about Bridgid, I am sure everyone here would say that they love kids to bits and we really enjoy hearing about life as a mother. Don't ever feel that you have to shy away from talking about her :)

Kirsty: Another ouchie for you sweets but you sound like another toughie and I am glad for you that it is finally over. It is a relief to hear that the Doctor said it all looked good so hopefully he can confirm the exact details at your next appointment. Hope that you don't feel so tender for long.

Clare: kudos to you babe for quitting work. I agree you don't need the stress. Hey if you want to send some of that ms my way I won't complain. When did you start feeling sick? I can't tell if I feel sick or just off because I am so darn nervous. You always want what you can't have hey. Seriously though, I hope the icky feeling subsides really soon. Yay, 17 sleeps to your next scan, I bet you can't wait to see that strong heartbeat pumping away again.

Well me I have an appointment with my GP next Tuesday and then the Ob in 21 sleeps for my first scan because he is on holidays until then. I was a bit bummed about not having a scan until 9 weeks but I had so many scans with Harrison I figure this will be something different with this pregnancy, hopefully I can avoid the transvaginal also which will be a bonus. I know it is superstitious to want this pregnancy to be different, but oh well and just thinking about scans makes me feel like passing out so the less the better I guess.

Anway, DH is cooking dinner tonight so I am going to put my feet up and relax for a while, I am so darn tired at the moment but am having trouble sleeping because I have been thinking about Harrison heaps. So although my eyelids feel like lead I am sure I will be back later for a pop in.

Hugs to everyone else and I hope to hear from you soon.

Mwah
Spring

Hi girls

Kirsty, thanks for explaining that, sounds painful! Hope you are ok and resting as much as you can.

Spring, I think my morning sickness really hit at around 5 and a half weeks but has been getting progressively worse. It doesn't start in the morning until I eat and then its bad all day / all night. I am definately not complaining, I would hate not to have it I just need to find something that will take the edge off it. :rolleyes:

Hugs and kisses to you all
xxxxx

Hey everyone,

Sorry I have been MIA for a few days.

Mel - to be perfectly honest, that post freaked me out. I think I am thinking about it too much and it is upsetting. I am just not going to think about it anymore (well try not to anyway).
I can totally understand how you must be feeling with your birthday coming up. I feel exactly the same way. I started trying for a baby when I was 26 so I thought I would have 2 by now................turning 29 without an earth baby makes me realise that life never turns out the way you want it to. I just hope I can give DH an earth baby before he turns 30 in October (how's that for pressure on myself!!!!)

Spring - I am so glad that you are not feeling sick. I must admit I had the worst 'all day' sickness with Cooper for about 6 weeks. It was terrible because no-one knew I was pregnant so I had to pretend that I was ok. I hope your BP is ok now. I bet you can't wait for the scan so you can see the little bean. I can't wait to hear all about it.
How was dinner? Wow you were lucky, DH cooking. How's Frank going - I hope he has learnt to drink more. How have you settled into Sydney? When does DH start working in Canberra? I'm not sure if you know many people here but if you ever want to catch up let me know - here is my email address - naylynn2001 @ primusonline.com.au. Thank you so much for saying that every shining star is a smile from Cooper - that is beautiful. That is so beautiful what you sister did for you. I promise if I ever get up early enough to see the sun rise, I will make a wish for Harrison. Actually every time I see the sun, I will think of you little angel.

Jo - It definitely doesn't upset me that you talk about Bridie so please continue to. I hope she is ok - the poor thing having all those injections. She has probably got used to them by now and is probably so brave.....not like me. I still hate needles and can never look when I am having one. I must say I have got better, probably has something to do with the amount of needles I have had in the past year. I hope the meds are helping you and that you are feeling ok - thinking of you

Clare - hope you aren't feeling too sick. Good on you for quitting work. Put yourself first.....I like it! I did the same thing last year. I had been at my job for 8 years and was just so stressed with it, working long hours, travelling and adding to it the fact that I couldn't fall pregnant so I quit. I finished at the beginning of March and by mid March BINGO! I was pregnant. I don't know if it was just a coincident but I like to look at it that I was relaxed and stress free and that is why it happened. I guess that is why DH and I have decided that I won't go back to work now. Hopefully it can happen again. Good luck with your scan, I will be counting the days and thinking of you

Kirsty - I hope you are feeling a bit better tonight. That is great news that the Dr said it all looked normal, hoping that he can confirm it when you next see him.

Nat - I know you are not back until Friday but I hope you are having a great time. I have been thinking about you relaxing by the water with a ****tail :D Thank you so much for making a wish when you saw the Southern Cross - that means so much to me :hug:

Well now for me......I have been a bit all over the place the past few days. I will start with the highs. The weekend (although so hot) was good because we got to do Cooper's memorial garden. It meant so much to me to do it and I am so grateful to DH for being out in the stinking hot to make it happen. It is exactly how I pictured it (although the plants are little small at the moment). It just made me so happy when it was finished. DH said that we deserved a drink when it was finished but I said that I didn't want to but I splurged and had a fizzy drink!!! I'm bad, I know. Anyway, I am just glad that it is done and I have somewhere to go and write in my journal. I have created a website and have pictures of the garden on it, please feel free to view. Thank you to everyone that was thinking about me over the weekend as we were doing the garden.

Now the lows.....as you know I had a BT on Friday to see if I had o'd. Well Friday was CD22 and based on all my tests that I have been doing at home they indicate that nothing is happening. I was hoping that I was just doing it all wrong................I rang my OB on Monday to get the results and he confirmed that I didn't O this month. I was so upset because I thought 'here we go again'. Why can't my body just do what it is supposed to do. I would be happier if I had o'd but just missed it but the fact that I am not o'ing again just makes me so upset and puts more blame on myself. DH told me not to stress as this makes it worse but I told him that he wasn't the one with the problem. It is so hard knowing that I am the one with the problem that we can't fall pg. Then just to confuse everything on Saturday my OPK had 2 dark lines and my temp this morning was sky high. I don't know what this all means... Did I O after I had the blood test taken. This would have been very late in my cycle.........but hey I don't know what my cycle is anyway :confused: I am seeing my GP tomorrow (because of another issue - I have this weird lump on my back :eek: ) so maybe I will ask her to do a BT to see if I o'd. If anyone can explain any of this, that would be great.

Hope everyone is well - sorry for the long post. I'll let you know how I get on tomorrow.