Aries, thanks sweetheart I'm glad everything is on track with you hun and I wish that one day soon I'll be wishing you the same when you're having your own bub! Big hugs and know that you're often on my thoughts, I really pray for a BFP for you hun x
Crumpet, I'm glad you were able to compromise with your DH, that's what it's really all about in a good relationship!
Hello to everyone else, spreading lots of and in here for my lovely friends.
I almost forgot I have to go for this BT before Tuesday, where is my brain
Gigi1 - my heart is with you, particularly now. I was away over the weekend, but will light a candle for your DD tonight.
I hope you are managing ok, and good work for your cousin on being the right person at the right time. Thinking of you. Pity about the funky annoying lttle bacteria/virus. I thought Lymes disease could be caught from ticks. Any rolls in the hay latey? And yes only one more day. I have woken each morning for the past two mornings thinking - this is it! I have to get ready, only to realise today wasn't the day. I am a bit anxious too, but not too much. Worry won't help and what will be will be. Oh, I got to go to the beach. It was divine. It was too much for me to get down the beach to the water, so DH and I just sat and watched the rain squalls move across the bay and how the appearance of the water changed with the changing light. It was pretty rough but relatively calm considering. We even got rained on ourselves. It was awesome.
CharliB - it's so hard. I am sorry that you felt so apart from your friends. It will get easier in time, but for now, you will probably feel apart from family, friends, colleagues and the world at large. It's hard for your friends too, they don't know what to say or do and mostly they are so afraid of upsetting you. Little do they know, you're upset already and are actually pretty good at "this being upset caper". If they are close friends, and if you can, sweetie, talk to them about what you need and how you felt and feel. It will help them be better friends for you.
Crumpet - I know what you mean about being uncertain about how to help others, despite your own experiences. But in order to help others, you have to be strong and mostly healed yourself, don't try to take to much on if the opportunity presents itself. My counsellor says that people in grief are like sponges, they absorp sadness and grief around them. I realised I was doing that too
Chez - sorry about the BFN and that you are glum. Be strong my friend, you can do it.
Cmegelles - how are you going sweetie? First signs of spring around? The tulips flowering? That was one of the most exciting things when I was in the US. It really was a visual reminder of the change of season to come.
CharlieB,
I do feel like a totally different person and i think that is normal. I also think it is a good thing. My baby's legacy in a way. Not easy though when dealing with other people. I feel a bit outside their world often enough. It is almost like dealing with a second personality sometimes. I don't think i was ever happy with whether people asked or not. If they did, it was almost always done int he wrong way but i was happy to have her spoken about. If they didn't i was pi55ed that they didn't care enough. Something i learnt very early on was that very few people could get it right and when they did it was like a weight lifted and I could breath. HOpe AF turns up soon hun so you can get started.xx
Crumpet,
Sweet, i often think the same when i comes to other people going through this. I sometimes think i have all the answers and then other times i think i woud be completely useless as everyone's needs different. A million dollar question really. All any of us can do it be honest, loving and compassionate and hope we could be there for soemone else. xoxo
Dory,
One more sleep! Will be thinking of you tomorrow hun.
Yeah i know...rolling around in the hay. When he told me that it is from a tick bite, i thought...You are a fruitcake. Yep whatever mate. Then i went home and did some research. I looked up what this bite area is supposed to look like and sure enough i had a ring bite area on the back of my head 3-4 mths ago. I was embarressed and thought it was a ringworm or fungal thing from my darling nephew who frequents daycare. I smothered it in tea tree and it went away only to return a bit bigger and spread out. So ti make total sense...have no idea though where i would have come into contact with a tick. Stupidly i took photos so that i could see it, being on the back of my head made that a challenge, but got rid of the pictures once i had seen it. Great one kiddo. So yep...that is that. He is a pretty clever and very thorough dude. I have three friends that have been to him and had fab results. So we shall see. But no wonder i have been feeling a little more than i can put down to greif. It was sending me back into depression type feelings when dispite our heartbreak and sadness i thought we were doing so well. I know i have handled a little too much stress lately but still there were just a few things i couldn't put my finger on.
Glad you got to the beach hun. How beautiful. I love watching the weather. I have sadi to dh, our dream home- i don't care if we can't see a huge view of anything else but i want a view of the weather. I love it and so does dh. I bet your bubbas were there with you watching the wild energy and rain. Nothing like getting caught up in the rain. It is even better when you are trying not to get wet ad then all of a sudden...you drop everything and embrace it. So much fun. xx Hm oxo
Beata!!!!!! Go get em baby! Bring us a beautiful baby home. Thinking of you hun and wishing you every calm thought. Good Luck!
Aww, Gigi, Dory, Cheryl, Crumpet, CharlieB & Aries, thanks so much ladies for your wonderful wishes and words I am so humbled that you are so excited for me. I hope & pray that in the near future I will be wishing you lots of luck with your bubbas!!!
I am going in at 6 am but the c/s isn't until 8.30. Will let you know how it all goes, but I won't be home until Sunday.
Dory GL for tomorrow hun, hope all goes well for you sweets.
Today, I am really walking on air. It was awesome. I didn't really relax until I saw the little chickens heart beat, but we got to that very quickly.
Here are the details - 159 bpm! 6.9cm long and the cervix is 38mm and a 1 in 3599 risk of downs. All in all, a very good result. Made the sleepless night last night worth it.
DH and I have been in our own little world of bliss today, real bliss. It's not been a feeling we have both felt so strongly for such a long time. if we could bottle this moment and just pour some out when we needed it, we would.
We now have a big decision to make - to stitch or not, when its not clearly medically indicated. I am trying to get an appointment with my counselor to see if I have missed anything in my thought processes about the "stitch".
Gigi - I love the rain too. Never used, but now, I just get wet and love it, even in my work gear. Wow, can't believe you actually had a tick "bite". I know the delays to TCC are frustrating, but it is so good that you have some answers and are in a position to heal and put yourself in the best health for TCC.
Oh oh, Beata would have had her bubs by now.... so excited I am hoping around from one foot to the other.
I'm glad everything is on track with you hun and I wish that one day soon I'll be wishing you the same when you're having your own bub! Big hugs and know that you're often on my thoughts, I really pray for a BFP for you hun x
and
in here for my lovely friends.
I am so humbled that you are so excited for me. I hope & pray that in the near future I will be wishing you lots of luck with your bubbas!!! 
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