TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth Sept 2009

[Gigi1]

CharlieB,
I do feel like a totally different person and i think that is normal. I also think it is a good thing. My baby's legacy in a way. Not easy though when dealing with other people. I feel a bit outside their world often enough. It is almost like dealing with a second personality sometimes. I don't think i was ever happy with whether people asked or not. If they did, it was almost always done int he wrong way but i was happy to have her spoken about. If they didn't i was pi55ed that they didn't care enough. Something i learnt very early on was that very few people could get it right and when they did it was like a weight lifted and I could breath. HOpe AF turns up soon hun so you can get started.xx

Crumpet,
Sweet, i often think the same when i comes to other people going through this. I sometimes think i have all the answers and then other times i think i woud be completely useless as everyone's needs different. A million dollar question really. All any of us can do it be honest, loving and compassionate and hope we could be there for soemone else. xoxo

Be back soon

[Chez67]

Hi Beata

Just popped in quickly to wish you all of the luck in the world tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and your family.

oxo

[Gigi1]

Dory,
One more sleep! Will be thinking of you tomorrow hun.
Yeah i know...rolling around in the hay. When he told me that it is from a tick bite, i thought...You are a fruitcake. Yep whatever mate. Then i went home and did some research. I looked up what this bite area is supposed to look like and sure enough i had a ring bite area on the back of my head 3-4 mths ago. I was embarressed and thought it was a ringworm or fungal thing from my darling nephew who frequents daycare. I smothered it in tea tree and it went away only to return a bit bigger and spread out. So ti make total sense...have no idea though where i would have come into contact with a tick. Stupidly i took photos so that i could see it, being on the back of my head made that a challenge, but got rid of the pictures once i had seen it. Great one kiddo. So yep...that is that. He is a pretty clever and very thorough dude. I have three friends that have been to him and had fab results. So we shall see. But no wonder i have been feeling a little more than i can put down to greif. It was sending me back into depression type feelings when dispite our heartbreak and sadness i thought we were doing so well. I know i have handled a little too much stress lately but still there were just a few things i couldn't put my finger on.
Glad you got to the beach hun. How beautiful. I love watching the weather. I have sadi to dh, our dream home- i don't care if we can't see a huge view of anything else but i want a view of the weather. I love it and so does dh. I bet your bubbas were there with you watching the wild energy and rain. Nothing like getting caught up in the rain. It is even better when you are trying not to get wet ad then all of a sudden...you drop everything and embrace it. So much fun. xx Hm oxo

Beata!!!!!! Go get em baby! Bring us a beautiful baby home. Thinking of you hun and wishing you every calm thought. Good Luck!

[Miss.B]

Hello everyone,

Aww, Gigi, Dory, Cheryl, Crumpet, CharlieB & Aries, thanks so much ladies for your wonderful wishes and words I am so humbled that you are so excited for me. I hope & pray that in the near future I will be wishing you lots of luck with your bubbas!!!

I am going in at 6 am but the c/s isn't until 8.30. Will let you know how it all goes, but I won't be home until Sunday.

Dory GL for tomorrow hun, hope all goes well for you sweets.

Big hugs to all
B xxx

[dory]

Today, I am really walking on air. It was awesome. I didn't really relax until I saw the little chickens heart beat, but we got to that very quickly.

Here are the details - 159 bpm! 6.9cm long and the cervix is 38mm and a 1 in 3599 risk of downs. All in all, a very good result. Made the sleepless night last night worth it.

DH and I have been in our own little world of bliss today, real bliss. It's not been a feeling we have both felt so strongly for such a long time. if we could bottle this moment and just pour some out when we needed it, we would.

We now have a big decision to make - to stitch or not, when its not clearly medically indicated. I am trying to get an appointment with my counselor to see if I have missed anything in my thought processes about the "stitch".

Gigi - I love the rain too. Never used, but now, I just get wet and love it, even in my work gear. Wow, can't believe you actually had a tick "bite". I know the delays to TCC are frustrating, but it is so good that you have some answers and are in a position to heal and put yourself in the best health for TCC.

Oh oh, Beata would have had her bubs by now.... so excited I am hoping around from one foot to the other.

[CharlieB]

Today, I am really walking on air. It was awesome. I didn't really relax until I saw the little chickens heart beat, but we got to that very quickly.

Here are the details - 159 bpm! 6.9cm long and the cervix is 38mm and a 1 in 3599 risk of downs. All in all, a very good result. Made the sleepless night last night worth it.

DH and I have been in our own little world of bliss today, real bliss. It's not been a feeling we have both felt so strongly for such a long time. if we could bottle this moment and just pour some out when we needed it, we would.

We now have a big decision to make - to stitch or not, when its not clearly medically indicated. I am trying to get an appointment with my counselor to see if I have missed anything in my thought processes about the "stitch".

Gigi - I love the rain too. Never used, but now, I just get wet and love it, even in my work gear. Wow, can't believe you actually had a tick "bite". I know the delays to TCC are frustrating, but it is so good that you have some answers and are in a position to heal and put yourself in the best health for TCC.

Oh oh, Beata would have had her bubs by now.... so excited I am hoping around from one foot to the other.

YAY!! That is wonderful news Dory, I am really happy for you and your DH!


I hope the good news of this week continues on!!

[cmeglles]

Can I just say that you ladies make my day? You really do. I have been in a bit of a funk since yesterday about not being pregnant, and then I read these posts and it made it all go away. And can I just say calling the vaginal ultrasound a dildo cam is one of the funniest things I have heard. I LOVE IT. My internet friends (what I call you guys to DH) rock!

Beata- you are probably at the hospital right now-hooray. I am really hoping all things are going super smooth. SO EXCITED for you!

Dory- What wonderful news! What type of counselor are you going to for talking about stitching? I am absolutely THRILLED fro you that you saw a heartbeat and everything looks wonderful. Just so happy. How is it taking time off from work? enjoying it? need a reading list? No tulips yet, although I did hear on the radio that some lambs are being born. It is unusually warm here right now. Usually winter lasts for another month at least, so I am happy that things are warming up and am actively looking for new flowers and signs of Spring.

Gigi1- Lyme disease! How terrible! That definitely explains your symptoms though. I hope that a good dose of antibiotics gives you back your energy. Are they putting you on an IV? It will make TTC much more fun anyways! I am getting my PhD in microbiology so anytime you want to bounce infections and treatments etc off of my brain please feel free. I am happy to share, or not share. Or set your mind at ease--at least with what I know so far. I am trying so hard to be stress free and not have anxiety to avoid infections- but it is so hard. We have been through so much, how do you just turn it off?It totally sucks that you have had to take such a long break. Keep us updated with how you are doing. I am really hoping that you feel better FAST! Sounds like you have a great doctor.

Chez- Sorry about AF arriving. BOOOO. We need some good news in here. Good to hear that DH is behind you all the way this year. It really helps with 100% support I think. IVF sounds more and more promising with this new doctor. I would say go ahead and book the trip, I have never been to the beach in winter, but after booking our vacation I am really grateful to have something longish shortish term to look forward to. Plus some sunshine and warmth--I am so ready! The winters are very long here and everything right now is ugly (and will be for another month or so) It has helped me a lot with relaxing for TTC. (well so far anyways).

Crumpet- Good to see you have some answers and a baseline for your cervix. Now to hopefully move onto bigger and better things like getting you pregnant. My fingers are crossed that this is super short for you.

CharlieB- I still (I am 5 months out of losing our son at 16 weeks) feel weird around people. I don't like it when people pretend or act like nothing has changed, because I have. SO I have totally been there. I deal with it, and I have no clue if this is healthy, by talking about it if the subject comes up and it is relevant to the conversation. For example, someone was asking me why I am interested in specializing in obstetrics and gynecology for medicine and I said all of the standard things and I said I lost a baby in the second trimester, my care was excellent but me and my family have never been so vulnerable and I want to be able to help women like me. Or I went to a women's empowerment retreat for future physician leaders and they asked about a life changing event and I told them. But it is really really hard. Nobody talks about these things, and that makes it even lonelier for me. I don't know if that helps.

Aries- nice to see you lurking. I am glad you are still around. Hope things are going well with you.

For me on CD10. Things are busy at work. I got some confirmation that I will graduate (with the first of my 2 degrees) in a year or so and am really happy. I am so ready to return to medical school. Got into a funk because I found out a co-worker's wife is 15 weeks pregnant and they were doing the ultrasound today---brought back lots of memories of my last ultrasounds.Funny how some things don't bother me and I am excited about and other things (that are basically the same)hurt. I simply do not 'get' my feelings. Anyhow you all made my day. THANK YOU

[crumpet]

Today, I am really walking on air. It was awesome. I didn't really relax until I saw the little chickens heart beat, but we got to that very quickly.

Here are the details - 159 bpm! 6.9cm long and the cervix is 38mm and a 1 in 3599 risk of downs. All in all, a very good result. Made the sleepless night last night worth it.

DH and I have been in our own little world of bliss today, real bliss. It's not been a feeling we have both felt so strongly for such a long time. if we could bottle this moment and just pour some out when we needed it, we would.

We now have a big decision to make - to stitch or not, when its not clearly medically indicated. I am trying to get an appointment with my counselor to see if I have missed anything in my thought processes about the "stitch".

oh my god call me slow but i didnt realise u were preg hun, massive congrats hun!!!!! good luck with ur decison!!

. And can I just say calling the vaginal ultrasound a dildo cam is one of the funniest things I have heard. I LOVE IT. My internet friends (what I call you guys to DH) rock!


Crumpet- Good to see you have some answers and a baseline for your cervix. Now to hopefully move onto bigger and better things like getting you pregnant. My fingers are crossed that this is super short for you.

glad dildo cam gives u a few laughs hun!!! lol.....

thank you, ill hopefully do a test next week...if i hold out that long!!!