TTC after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth ~ #4 2011

Ha ha Dory, you're funny :)

Wouldn't mind a mad stab in the dark though, hehehehehe :lol:

Oh that made me laugh. I needed that today.

Happy news for my SIL and Bro. They are expecting their second...weren't trying, she is still feeding and no cycle. Hmmmm, how is it that some are dealt with a simple hand. It is just not that easy. Happy for them but numb too. Very numb.

Bit grumpy today but about to spend some time with my DH. xoxo

I just wanted to share that I have had one of the bestest days ever.... a walk and talk with a friend in the gardens and a lovely lunch... the sun is shining on me today.

Gi - I am happy for your SIL & bro on their happy news. But I know how crushing that sort of news can be.... although you're happy for them, it just hurts that it's not you. I know it's unfair. I wish I could change it for you, but all I can do is offer my love, which seems so inadequate at times. Hugs.

Thinking of everyone else, but I can't stay in for long today. I hope even just for a moment it feels like the sun is shining on you today.

Would you look at that...I seem to be having a smashing day today too. Must be something in the air. xoxo ;) Nothing like sharing time with a friend.

Yes it can be a bit of a battle sometimes. I want to be the best i am for them, support them, be there for them, be a kick butt aunty, but it can be hard sometimes when you feel a bit incomplete yourself. I just do what i can and try to accept it is my new best and it is good enough.

i've had a horrible day :( yesterday and today i've woken up with these horrible migraines, and today was so bad all day i've felt sick from it, like i feel hungover except i haven't drunk anything.....:dunno: have taken panadol and that seems to help which is good.

Gigi just though i would give a big :hug: i know what you mean about that 'numb' feeling. only a few weeks after i lost Josiah, one of SIL's, one im actually really very close friends with, she confided in me that she was pregnant. after i got off the phone i went and told DH, and i just broke down. i was so happy for her, and i am still, i'm so excited for them! but i was absolutely gutted, because i felt like they were going to get the baby that i so desperately wanted and had been ripped from me.....DH felt so bad for me as well cause i was torn between emotions

now that i think about it, it might have been after this that DH said he wanted another baby......:o

anyway, and :thumbsup: to you Dory for having a great day, the weather is just beautiful today (at least where i am anyway)

and a big hello to everyone else :hello: hope everyone is travelling well.

hopefully i can shake these migraines soon....have had some vision problems on and off since having J as well, so im off to the Optometrist on Saturday. hope it's a quick fix thing :rolleyes:

Hi all - hope you're well

dory - I'm glad things are going well

Gigi - :hug: I hope things work out for you soon

MD - I hope yu're feeling better

sorry for missing people. In a very dark hole atm. I know I should move to the Pregnancy after late loss forum but I still dont feel safe, even though it's now public. I havent even been able to say anything at work although it's fairly obvious (either I'm pregnant or I'm scoffing doughnuts). I knew it would be hard. I just didnt anticipate that the fear on top of grief just keeps swirling along. It's nearly DS's 9month birthday and it's getting so hard leading up to it. I hate to think what his 1 year birthday will be like. I keep thinking of what we're missing out on - teething, crawling, babbling. I dont know. I dont have another baby to compare it to. I cant deal with other people's babies atm, even when I've been OK in the past. I feel like things are getting worse, not better. I just want my son back and I dont know when that feeling fades.

Tashybabe, I know that terrified feeling all too well, I also am not ready to "change threads" I feel safer here here you guys know me! I know every time you look around you think "that heartbeat will stop soon" or "something is sure to go wrong again 'caue it did last time".
My advice on first angel day is to make good stable plans, for some reason that made the day bearable for us, rather than not knowing what was going to happen for Ellen's first B'day.
Dory, as usual you make me feel like smiling, thanks, I'm glad the sun is shining on you.
Gigi, goodluck and my thoughts are with you too.
Mummydreamer, I think I know you from another forum. You are going wonderfully for such early days, be gentle with yourself even if that is very very hard.

AFM nearly 21 weeks, feeling baby now and then, wondering if we should find out if it's a boy or girl........if it's a girl I'll stress more but if it's a boy I'll be able to relax a bit I reckon. Busy arranging a baby shower for a friend tomorrow evening........

OMG just lost my whole post...you girls knwo how much i babble on. Not happy.

In short....who am i kidding. I will have to come back in later. xoxoox

Hi
I have never posted online in any type of forum before so I hope I am doing it right. My husband and I lost our beautiful son on the 8/4/2011. Words cannot describe how I felt when at my 27 week check up no heart beat could be found.
As it has only been 2 weeks today I know it is too early to TTC but I just cant stop thinking about how desperately I need to try again.
I would love to get to know the other women on here and hope to chat to some of you soon.

EmilyJames - I am so sorry you lost your precious boy :( Welcome to BB I'm sorry it was tragic circumstances that brought you here. I am sure you will find loads of support, as unfortunately many of us have gone down this road :hug:

Dory - Anymore mad stabs in the dark?? :p

Gigi - It is definitely hard to hear pregnancy announcements from your family. That feeling of being jealous as hell, but happy for them aswell. It'ss hard to manage..

Hi to Mummydreamer, Tashybabe, MissB and anyone else I have missed.

AFM - I have updated in the clomid thread a while ago saying that once again my r'ship is very unstable, however being the sucker that I am, he romanced me with a nice ocean view room, dinner and champagne and it just so happened to be last w'end right on O!!!! Considering I didn't want to waste my clomid cycle, it was perfect timing, (although probably not the most responsible thing to do)

Anyway I am 6DPO today and going for my day 21 progesterone test this morning.. Sure enough I have been dreaming about breastfeeding a baby. Happens every month in the TWW I have noticed! It's awful to wake up and feel like your boobs should be full and your baby should be there :(

Things apart from that are up and down, I hate this time of the year with Easter and Mothers day, I haven't been able to sleep and I have been working every day.. On a good note though, I have a job interview in 2 weeks for a hospital's grad program. There aren't many places so i really have to make an impression! So wish me luck!

Hey ladies.

Blessed- good luck With your progesterone cd21 test xxx let us know the results.

Afm- couldn't believe my eyes...

:bfp: at 8dpo yesterday... And :bfp: today at 9dpo... This mornings didn't take very long to come up at all. Maybe 4-5 mins. Defo in the time frame! Omg!!!!! I'm pregnant!!!!

Sending loads of baby dust to y'all! Xox


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:o OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!! So happy for you honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :happyforyou: Sending loads of sticky vibes!!!!!!!

thanks everyone. still getting there day by day, gah i hate it sometimes :( i'd like to think the emptiness will leave me one day, but i have a funny feeling i'm always going to be feeling empty.......

LynsDan congratulations!!!! :happyforyou: that's awesome, how exciting. wish you all the best for your journey ;)

Kateo - yeh i think i know you too Lol. look forward to seeing you around! :lol:

EmilyJames, i am so sorry for your loss :hug:i hope you find a lot of support from this forum, i know i have. :hug: :hug:

Blessed, good luck with your job interview and your TWW.
EmilyJames, I am so so sorry to hear of your so recent loss. I felt the same when we lost Ellen at 41 weeks. I really wanted another baby right away.
Lynsdan .....WWWWOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go the sticky vibes and may that little one hang in there. I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy.
Mummydreamer that "empty arms" feeling has stayed with me but I am getting used to it. I guess that doesn't help much but it's honest. I am pg again but I still dream of Ellen.
AFM been having terrible dreams about things going wrong again when I am in labour. Hopefully I'll dream all the problems then the actual event will only be OK.
I hosted a baby shower on Wed evening... and actually survived without a tear! It was a fun evening.

Hi loverly ladies,

LnD, woohoo!!!! :happyforyou: What fantastic news this morning! Soooo happy for you guys, wishing you the stickiest vibes there are!

Blessed, I know what you mean about the Easter/Mother's Day time of your. I don't want to sound ungrateful for my wee man, because I am sooooooo grateful for him and I love him so much it honestly hurts, but I still miss Josh so much overall it's sort of a sad day for me. Josh should be here and that's that. There is this overwhelming feeling of loneliness on the day. I dunno, I can't explain it properly the way I feel about it. So on Mother's day we'll think of our angels together and wish they were here with us :hug:
On another note, I'll be sending you lots of GL vibes next week for your interview! You go girl :whip:

Kate, the feeling of dread doesn't go away until bub is born and then after that you stress about other things like wind, colic, sleepless nights, hahaha. It is so worth it in the end and YOU WILL GET THERE hun! Big hugs :hug:

Mummydreamer, hope your migranes have improved :hug: They are horrible, but do check your eyes hun, you there could be a connection for sure.

Tash, I hope you're feeling better sweets. Big hugs to you too. The feelings you describe about Leo is what I often think about with Josh. Where he should be now, what he would be doing. Seeing other kids whose birthdays are close to Josh and seeing how they have turned out. Missing my wee man like crazy. It will never stop :cry: These feeling are so normal, so go with the flow and allow yourself to feel them as you're still on your healing journey.

Dory, yes, any more mad stabs????? hahahahaha

Gigi, big hugs honey. I know it must be hard hearing of other pg. You're gonna hate me for saying this as I have Cam but I feel the same way when I hear of others pg, especially close to home :o Hit me, slap me. Big hugs hun :hug:

EmilyJames, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in the best possible place here on BB, and although I am sorry you have found yourself here, you will get all the support that you need going through your grief and through the TTC journey. I found so much support here I will forever be grateful, thanks ladies!!!!!!!!!

Hello to Cheryl and anyone else I missed! Hope you're all doing well.

Big hugs B xoxoxoxo

Thankyou to all of you lovely ladies who have welcomed me to the forum. I am so sad to see how many women have gone through this terrible pain. When my husband put on facebook that our James was born sleeping, I was shocked and saddened at how many of my friends on facebook have lost babies of their own.
I never thought when I fell pregnant with James that anything like this would happen. I definately know that I want more children, but I am terrified of what might happen next time. I have at least another month to wait until the results from all the tests come back to find out what went wrong. I am not sure what will be worse, finding something or finding no nothing.
I am still trying to figure out what all the abbreviations mean so if I use one incorrectly please let me know :)

Oh man...i hate it when i fall so behind.

Firstly, Welcome to EmilyJames. So very sorry your little James couldn't stay. Miss B is totally right, you are in the best place. You must be feeling all sorts of things and no doubt wanting to fall pregnant again can feel so powerful. I have heard women on here say that, a lot of them. It is a very common feeling, just like the fearful thoughts of the futures and what might happen next time. The very best thing through your own journey is time...but time is different for al of us. I am hopeful for you that with test results you get to find out something definitive, I am hopeful that whatever results they are, they give you some peace of mind. Welcome and here for you the whole way. Keep going, one foot in front of the other, breath, be gentle and talk...all good advice given to me from the girls in here...along with a lot of other things. Welcome and hope you find it comfortable here. xoxo

LND, Cheeky minx! CONGRATULATIONS...a little miracle when timing was perfect. The very best thing for your little body too. How precious, So very happy for you. Take care hun.

AFM- Appologies for not many personals...and thank you so much for such loving and kind words from you all.
I am not in for long..tough week. AF arrived today. Easter weekend but mostly our angel DD was born yesterday 2 years ago and well...you all know. So I just wanted to drop in and say thank you but also to excuse myself for a bit. xoxoxoxo

HUGE hugs Gigi sweetheart, on your beautiful angel daughter's birthday yesterday. It never gets easier on our precious little ones angelveraries, as you know hun. Thinking of you and sending you bucket loads of love and kisses and bear hugs :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

Happy belated birthday to your gorgeous girl Gigi.
I;m still about girls,will try my hardest to catch up this weekend i promise
love to all of you xxxx

Hi

Gigi1 - Thankyou for your welcome and your kind words. Each day brings new challenges. Today we went to our local beach markets and it seemed like every women was either pregnant or pushing small babies in prams. It was an epidemic! I made good use of my sunglasses to hide the tears. I am happy for these women - just extremely jealous I guess.
I have a general question for everyone - how long did you wait before TTC?
I look forward to hearing all of your stories and getting to know you all.
I hope that you all have a great Easter with your families.

xoxoxo

Emily i know the feeling, i have two SIL's that are pregnant right now, and every time i go to the shops, i seem to see so many pregnant women or women with babies who would be similar age to J, it's just so hard sometimes :( with ttc, im not there yet, although im lurking this thread :rolleyes: going to wait maybe another month or two, and then start trying. i still haven't got the blood tests that my OB sent me for!! probably going next week when kids go back to school, but should probably get them done before we start properly trying.....

Gigi, i hope her birthday is a special day to you, as hard as it must be :hug:

Skybie, good to see you round again, i've been a bit awol this weekend too.

hope everyone has a great weekend xoxoxox

EmilyJames, after the shock wore off with Josh I desperately wanted to be pg again. My psych told me that on his EDD I would feel differently as all the months I was still supposed to be pg, I didn't have closure ans peace. She was right, on Josh's EDD which was in Feb the following year (he was born in October 08) I had this peaceful feeling that he was now gone. I had an operation in January 09 and mid 09 we did another cycle of IVF and Cam was conceived. So all in all, I almost had an identical cycle with Cam as we conceived Josh in June 2008 and Cam in July 2009. But if the fibroid which caused the m/c wasn't there to begin with, I would have tried earlier if that makes sense. I had to wait 6 months following my surgery to remove the fibroid, to go again.

Hi,
We wanted to get pg again asap after we lost Ellen at 41 weeks. We checked if there was something wrong with her that might happen to another baby. There wasn't and to this date there is no real explaination for her heart having stopped at 41 weeks. We asked the ob at our 6 week meeting when he told us what they knew about her passing (which wasn't much). He suggested we try as soon as I had a proper cycle and suggested we try tracking with "pee on a stick" system. If we didn't have any luck in 6 months we should see a fertility specialist. We first saw one FS who was very negetive (I'm 42) and didn't offer help except IVF. The second FS was wonderful and encouraging which I believe helped heaps.
I was pg less than 12 months after we lost Ellen but we had lots of sad months in between. We did however manage to fall naturally with help in tracking from the FS. Once we found a good FS we fell pg in the second month of seeing her.
I was extremely stressed as I knew we were both getting "old" in terms of fertility.
Being about 21 week pg now is good but I am constantly worried something is going to go wrong..........

Gigi, sorry I missed your little girls birthday.. Hope you had a peaceful day :hug:

EmilyJames, pregnant women and babies appear everywhere when you have had a loss.. I still find it 2 and a half years later and I still get pangs of jealousy.. I hate that I feel that way :( I waited 6 months after the twins. Medically I had to as I had a classical cut c-section. I know everyone is different, but I believe (and just my opinion, not right for everyone) that you need some time for yourself to heal. Sure another pregnancy may be a distraction and some hope for the future, but you need to grieve, and if you don't grieve after the loss, it may be worse down the track.. Again, only you know when you are ready..

AFM 7DPPO and impatient.. Roll on Next weekend so I can test!

Emily we lost our boy in feb and we're ttc now would have been earlier but my cycles have been all over the place

Well ladies I think I may be back in here in a short while


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Thank you girls. I am sure our angel had a special day...we did. Her butterfly cake was delicious and we have eaten wayyyy too much!

OK, DD was born in April 09 at 28wks gestation and i could not even come to terms with DTD(do the dirty) until her EDD(Estimated due date) arrived. That was the begining of July and i did not feel remotely sexual until that day. Even on that day i had to convince myself it was time to be me again. We have been trying ever since...22mths. It took us 10 years to fall pregnant with DD so my stamina for month on month negatives(BFNs) was pretty high but my strengths are dwindling these days. We will keep trying for a bit longer but then, that will be it. Depression and grief both play with libido and overall heath but over the last 22 months we have tried all but 3months. Pretty good really.
I have to agree with the others, it is such a personal choice. I psychologically needed to wait until her due date, but then i found comfort in not falling pregnant in the first year simply because if she were alive, i would have devoted that time to her anyway and not tried for another until that year had passed. As much as i wanted another child, i appreciated the time to spend with her, thinking about her and doing things for her to remember her...which i still do every day. If i were pregnant i am sure i would have found a way to do that too but i spent that time on healing, giving her what i felt she deserved(personal opinion). I don't know if i found comfort in this because i was still waiting but i know i was not ready straight away, ,aybe a couple of months after her EDD would have been good. Just me. Many other women have such a strong desire it overcomes them, a desire to be pregnant again can also heal. A pregnancy can heal hormonally, emotionally, physically. My fear was just too great to heal that way. I am a big chicken and I think other women have been incredibly brave. I am in awe of them.
NOw...well i am more than ready...been ready for a long time and want nothing more than to be pregnant as much as it equally terrifies me.

LND- What has happened babe are you ok? I hope everything with your new BFP is ok, sending you much love and hope. xoxo

Hi Lovely Ladies

mummydreamer, it must be hard to have family that is pregnant. I have 5 or 6 facebook friends that are pregnant and that is hard enough to cope with - reading their happy pregnant status's break my heart. None of my friends IRL are pregnant tho which is kind of a blessing.
Miss.B - how was your pregnancy with Cam? How were you not terrified the whole time?
kateo - Congratulations on being pregnant! I hope that the next 19 weeks run like pregnant clock work and you have a screaming baby in your arms.
blessedatlast - thank you for your words of advice. I am still at the desperate to be pregnant asap stage but do have to wait at least another 3 to 4 weeks for any test results to be back. I need to know if their was anything wrong with my gorgeous boy before I submit myself, DH and DD to the emotional rollercoaster of trying again.
skybie - thank you, I hope that you are pregnant asap!
LysnDan - I hope everything is ok
Gigi1 - Thankyou for telling your story for me, I admire you for your strength and courage to keep trying after all that you have been through. You are amazing.

I am thinking of writing my story on the Stories of Loss thread, I hope that by writing what happened will help me heal slightly. I cannot believe that it has been 2 weeks and 3 days since I gave birth to my James. It just seems so wrong that time keeps moving by without him, that each minute is further from when I held him and kissed him. Did any of you ladies write your stories? Did it help you at all?

Good luck to you all TTC and I hope that being Easter there are plenty of fertile eggs around for you all!

Well I have af! Back again. And I don't think we actually have a chance getting utd this month either. Hubby will be away. He's lucky hes going to be here for our anniversary tomorrow!


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EmilyJames - I wrote my babies story and created a website in their memory after they died.. (link in my sig) It was part of my healing for me.. I was lucky enough to have photo's to share too.. It took me 6 months to write my babies full story from conception to death, (it's quite long) so I din't post it here in the loss thread, but I did post the link to my website when it was finished.. I have spent a lot of time in the loss thread in the last 2 and a bit years, (I'm like part of the furniture now ;) ) as I have experienced my 1st Christmas, birthdays etc without them.. It's so hard, but the support here on BB is amazing.. I would love to read the story of James, when and if you post it. xx

Gigi - Glad you little girls b'day was special and you enjoyed the cake.. xx

Lynsdan - Happy Anniversary for tomorrow. I'm so sorry you have AF.. That sux.. :hug:

AFM - Talk about frustrated! The time is going FOREVER!! I am 10DPO today, massive temp dip 8DPO, but temps are back up now.. Just waiting to test.. I am so impatient but determined not to test yet.. I have no symptoms what so ever :rolleyes: I should find out what my progesterone levels were this month tomorrow.. Not that that gives any indication, last month they were 200 and no baby :( At least I ovulated though I suppose! Yay for clomid..

Well, a selfish post from me today.. I caved and tested today. 2 internet cheapies and 1 first response and they all show those 2 magical lines.. 11DPO and I'm PREGNANT!!!! I am in shock and so so so scared.. But just trying to enjoy it for what it is at the moment.. After 2years and 2 cycles of clomid! Wow! My little angels will be big brothers :) Due 7th Jan according to FF. :dance: If anyone who reads this has me on FB, please don't say anything...

So stoked for you blessed!!!

Congratulations...

Loads of sticky baby dust to you cox :)


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WOOOHOOOO!!!! Great news Blessed! You are due on the same date that my Ellen was due but she hung about until the 13th to arrive. You're going to have my angel as well as yours looking over this little one!
Soooo exciting. I hope you get heaps of symptoms to make you really feel pg.
LD- sorry to hear about AF but I hope you had a nice anniversary.
Gigi- hope you feel good about ho you coped with your girls B'day.
EmilyJames- if you feel like writing your story go ahead. I think we all have to do things we feel we need to do.......I write poems (heaps of them!)
AFM- Fell over on the w/e can't get to see anyone at FMU as phones are switched to answering machine and my Midwife is away. My GP is also on hols......oh well have been feeling little squirt wriggling a lot so should be OK.

Hiya - I get so frustrated when I get left behind in here.... just done a quick catch up and I know I don't have the stamina to do a lot of persies....sorry.

EmilyJane - oh blossom I am so so so sorry that your precious James couldn't stay and has gone too soon... I know these days are hard as you grieve your darling boy. This is a really lovely thread - very supportive and understanding, it has been one of my lifelines. Whilst all our journey's are different, we have walked a similar lonely, painful path... so feel free to come in and just express how you feel - sadness, anger, guilt.

About trying again? For me that is a relatively complicated question. After Amelia, even before we were discharged from hospital, we both wanted to TTC. Not to replace Amelia, no- one could ever do that. And don't listen to people when they say that to you either, and they will say it. It makes me angry actually when people do. They just don't understand. What happened was that after Amelia we knew the absolute miracle that birthing a baby is and quite frankly I became addicted to that. I wanted that glorious love and amazing sensation again, the knowledge that we had created a beautiful perfect being. Bittersweet, that our babygirl was born too early and died. Our Obs gave us the all clear to start again. So we did. It was right for us and we were lucky enough to get a BFP soon. After Nicholas died, we couldn't try again as he was one of a twinship. After Sophie died, I knew TTC wasn't right for us. Not "right away". I think we waited 3 or 4 months. Also had a lot of investigations to see what might have caused our heartache. At the time it seemed like an eternity. Makes me smile a little now, thinking it was an eternity. I just knew I needed to heal, physically and emotionally. Again we were lucky and got a BEFP relatively quickly- and this BFP resulted in our Hannah Bear.

I remember Gigi gave me some advice about just being with your angel baby. It was good advice. You will know when it's right for you. It takes courage to TTC again. It's tough and so is the pregnancy that follows.

After the death of your child during a pregnancy, everything is hard. Just breathing is hard some days.... still. There is so much more I could write, but I need to go to sleep. Sorry.

Writing about your pregnancy and the birth of your precious James will probably help, as will writing about your grief. In time what you write now will be so important. As much as we don't want to forget every detail, some do get forgetten, so if you've written them down now it will help. I often go back and read what I have written. It helps me remember. It helps me get back in touch with my very raw grief, which even though is hard, is one of the only tangible connections I have to my angels. So every so often I make myself delve back into the pain, to be close to them.

Go gently in this very tough time. Fly free sweet precious James, much loved wee one. I would love to read about your journey to meet James.

Gi - you know I've been thinking of you. Sorry that the easter bunny brought AF. The easter bunny brought Hannah gastro. Poor wee girl. I think the easter bunny needs a talking to!

I'll be back tomorrow I hope to catch up.

Chez - thinking of you....how are you doing?

Tashy - hugs, I know it's hard. You can do it. Honestly you can. I believe in you.

Blessed - is your course all done now? OMG - I just noticed your sig.... is it true? UTD? A BFP? Now I get to go to sleep with a smile on my face.... thankyou sweetie. Thankyou so much.

Thanks everyone for your congrats and sticky vibes.

Lol yes Dory, it's true, I can barely believe it myself.. My course will be finished in June. I am back at TAFE as of yesterday (as if I could concentrate and I nearly burst not telling anyone!) and then back at placement next week. I got an interview for a grad program at the hospital I wanted, I was so happy, so many people apply so I felt lucky to get an interview. I had some people on BB help me with my CV and cover letter which I think helped! Anyway, I am still keeping my job in aged care for a while, where I work is fairly low care, so I wont be straining myself, and then I just got a job with a nursing agency (just to do AIN work until I graduate) and I called them yesterday and they said they will still be able to place me out in the community or in low care which is great, because i don't want to be in high care! If I get offered the grad program, I probably wont be able to accept it, as it doesn't start until August and it doesn't finish til Feb, but I'm still going for it, just to see how far I get and it will keep my options open for if... Well, y'know, I need the job after all. (Praying I don't) I think you have a couple of interviews anyway before the job gets offered.

So yeah thats me. Hopefully I am done in this thread but I will of course stalk you all from time to time.. xx

Blessed - that's great about the interview. You can always decline if you're offered it. It's good practice at interviews and also it also lets "people" know you're interested... if you do a good interview but can't take the job, word will get around that you're good. And now good riddance, don't want to see you back here for a while, .... said in the kindest way of course.

AFM- well I am pretty pleased with myself today. Last night I made the best roast potatoes I have ever made ( it's been a work in progress to get ones I am happy with and we only have them once every 4 months). Anyway, maybe will have them more often now I have at least gotten one batch to turn out perfectly. Better than the roast pumpkin pine nut and spinach salad effort on Sunday - the ONLY thing I did right was wash the spinach. Oh well, it's a learning process right?

Hope you're doing ok. Sorry no more persies. There's a few things I need to research.

Hi guys, Im new here :redface: Still trying to work this out!

Lost my angel in February, and i guess im thinking about thinking about TTC again.. if that makes sense... gosh its all so hard lol!

Hey my girls... been a while I know.

in between solictors and the health commissoner prodding into our case about Matthew. I was ready to swear up and down and black and blue that I did not ovulate this month. Went of the clomid about January so we have been having a "break" organised a new lot of Clomid to start this coming month, woke with Cramping yesterday. it felt like ovulation cramps, but I wasnt due for AF till today.

Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to test with a Ovulation Pee Stick thingy, peed and realised soon after that it was a pregnancy stick and went into my bedroom drawers to get an ovulation stick... (as I had peed in a cup) on my return I spotted those precious 2 lines..... I was dumbstruck. I fell to the floor and bawled my eyes out for what seemed to be an eternity. Immediantly (thank god for iphones) I took a picture of the test and sent it to a girlfriend who confirmed she could see 2 lines.

We have done it... Although I have worries very very early. I still have cramping and spotting when I wipe (which is just new today) tomorrow is my appt with my GP to have a blood test and an Ultrasound later in the afternoon. I am so scared about what they will find. I have almost convinced myself it was implanation bleed as today is my due date for AF.

BTW I had confirmed with a more expensive Pee stick test last night... 2 lines showed right away. Then for fun I peed on 5 cheapos... haha all showing healthy lines.

Yet I am not sure how mentally I would handle loosing even a 5 week old fetus... we have been trying for simply forever.

I will come back with personals when I get back from my appointment tomorrow with news......

Fingers crossed ok?

editing to say please ignore my sig..... 7dpo is wrong....

Hi ladies

Gigi, sorry I missed your DD's special day. I hope you had a peaceful and loving day with DH :hug:

Blessed and lady_tess - congratulations to you both. I hope you have H&H 9 months ahead!

LND, sorry to hear that AF arrived. Hope you're doing ok.

EmilyJane, welcome to our thread. You have come to the right place for support. The ladies in here are amazing.

Hi to Dory, kateo, MissB, mummydreamer, skybie and everyone else.

AFM, 28 weeks today, which is another milestone for us. Still recovering from a nasty head cold I picked up last week but doing ok. I am so OVER my uni subject, I have two more assessment pieces to go so I am trying to find motivation wherever I can. The major motivator is that this assignment I am doing now is worth 45% of the total mark so I had better put in a good effort. So back to the books.

Take care all
oxo

Hey - just a quick one from me -

LadyTess - OMG! OMG! OMG! Congrautations to you on your BFP. Unexpected but glorious. Hope the spotting is just implantation with bubs snuggling in. PML about you peeing on the cheapies.... it's so good to get the confirmation isn't it? Hope the legal stuff is going well... I know it's tough. In addition that no doubt every time you have an appointment you re live your grief and experiences with Mathew. Hugs.

Chez - glad you're over the head cold and yay for 28 weeks! That's awesome. Bet your bump is really showing.

Myangelbaby - oh blossom, welcome, this is a great thread, even though a bit quiet the past few days. Very unusual for it to be quiet in here. I am so sorry that you've a reason to join this thread. I am sad for your angel. In time, if and when you're comfortable, I would like to hear more about your angel and your grief journey.

Gi - hey sweetie. Thinking of you... I know the days after an angelversary are hard. Thinking of you and your DH and your DD. Miss you.

AFM - Hannah has had gastro so I've not been in here much. She's better now. Phew! I've had an interesting time lately - I had some vague hope that I was pregnant so took a test or two, and was surprisingly disappointed, even though I was pretty sure I wasn't. Then the Dr ordered a beta HCG for me and it was negative of course. I was surprised at how disappointed I was, and I was actually a little morose for a while. Curious huh? Contributing could also be my little eggies are a year older today...:(

Sorry for no more persies... thinking of you, and hoping this is your month and for those two with the recent BFP's - stay sticky bubs!