TTC after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth ~ #4 2011

Myangelbaby, welcome and so sorry to find you here...but here is the best place to be hun. The ladies in here are incredible women and such support to each other. It is a pleasure to welcome you. You must be feeling all sort of things right now...please feel safe to let loose in here. Look forward to getting to know you and your angel a bit better.

LadyTess- Congrats lovely girl. That is just incredible hun. So very thrilled for you.

Chez- Thank you sweet and hope you are feeling a bit better.

Dores- Love, thank you. I am stalking but have not been in. I am taking a bit of an unannounced break. Miss you all terribly but Dh and I are having to face some raw truths. It is a tough time right now and I am quite busy with it. Life is going ok- we were away for a few days last week in Hervey Bay. My Yoga is delicious and i am really enjoying doing it with others!

Sorry to miss so many of you...i have not gone back too far to find out what you have been up to. Thinking of you all and wishing you all well.

LnD hope you are doing ok love.

Arghh gros...the neighbour is smoking and the breeze is blowing it right into my lounge. I am off to pull the vanity out with DH and close my doors. Gros!
Love to you all. oxoxox

Gi - hugs. You are a woman after my own heart. I find cigarette smoke repulsive. Poor DH, its one of the few things that I really crack a nana about. Enjoy demolishing the vanity with DH.

After being a smoker for years I now can't stand the smell. I gave up the habit about 7 years ago. But they say nothin is worse than a ex-smoker.

Had blood test confirmed, now a puzzle for everyone??? Dr said normal hcg range for 4 weeks gestation is between 25 and 200. Mine is 558....... I am 5 weeks tomorrow and I wonder if it is further along??? Even by a week? What do you girls think?

I had that (high hcg) and the FS thought it might be twins! ....that would be a journey, as it turns out I'm just having a singleton....

Just coming in to send a few of these out to you all :hug: :hug: :hug:

:grouphug: I will be back soon when I have access to my laptop to do personals

Love you All! X


Sent from my iPhone (via Tapatalk) so please forgive the spelling mistakes...

Lady Tess - AWESOME - congratulations! That is a good dose of beta HCG to be sure..... I haven't had my levels tested since Amelia's pregnancy ( two ago) so can't remember.... sorry.

Blessed will attest to this, once you've know the pure terror and joy of a twin pregnancy that ended too early, you're pretty desperate to have another chance at one. I know I am and Blessed has said things like that before. But sweetie, I am hoping for a single bubs for you, much lower risk as a pregnancy. But the heart will always hope...

It still absolutely pierces my heart that others seem to be able to successfully carry a twin pregnancy and I couldn't. Somehow that stings far more than for my singleton pregnancies. I spose it's the loss of two relationships? I don't know.

Lysndan - I wanted to say sorry that you got your hopes up and they were dashed. So unfair.

Gi - miss your little green coloured thoughts....

Thinking of you all, but especially to our newbies, myangelbaby and emily jane. I know this weekend will be hard for us all, but harder for some. I intend to light my babies candles this sunday.... I am their forever mummy.

Hey girls,

I will be brief and green! Been to see the GP and while all i went for was to get a psych referral...she got all gunho (sp) about getting me pregnant. At the time it was just difficult being there for what i intended and it was not until last night and today when my nerves settled that i realised i didn't want her help to fall pregnant. If we couldn't do this ourselves with no intervention then that is it. I don't want clomid and the rest. (This is a personal choice and of no offence to others) Maybe i have read too much, lived with this too long. I have a whol elot of bloods to do on day 21 and we will see what they say. I am happy to have the bloods done anyway for a check over of things. But at the end of the day we have been there done that many a time. Specialists, therapists and all... not much hope that a GP can make any difference. I just wanted the referral.

Anyway...i have a lot in my head atm and too much to put down here. Tough couple of weeks for us with some serious discussions over our future. We are both so pulled in many different directions. Both feeling our time has now passed.

My nephew's bday party tomorrow and i have to make a red skirt for me to where with my black and white striped stockings...I am a clown tomorrow. A cross between cirque d caberet type clown...not the scarey looking ones. I am games co ordinator tomorrow and will have about 30 kids to play with. I have to make his gift too...a rocket ship mobile, i am thinking, with an alien inside.

Talking of playing with...Guide Dogs Aus, have approved us so now it is just the body corp and we can get a puppy.
xoxo
Sorry a self absorbed post. oxox

Better go...got a bit of sewing to do.

Hellooooo! And sorry for going missing in action! I've been lurking but have not posted, mainly because I've only had my phone to access the net and I hate typing on it!

Ok, persies first!

Gi! My friend. I've missed you! Your GP sounds very supportive, maybe a little too eager, but good on you for having the tests nevertheless. And it's no one's business as to any of the decisions you make on your reproductivity! (Is that even a word). Only you can decide what is right for you, and if that is to fall naturally, then good on you girl! I have said it before and will say it again, miracles happen and if anyone deserves a miracle, it's you hun :-)

To all the BFP'sters - CONGRATS! It's a truly amazing feeling, followed quickly by fear, anxiety, worry, happiness, and you go round and round and round again until the little bubber arrives in your arms. Hasten slowly, and be kind to yourself. This journey is unique to every woman so no feelings you may have are right or wrong.

Lynsdan - My heart goes out to you. I had two losses last year, very similar circumstances. The doctors called them "chemical pregnancies" which sounded so awful. There is hope, look at me. I've had two and I'm not 27 weeks along!

Dory - so excited to see you are TTC again! That's awesome news. It doesn't get any easier second time around (emotionally) but you know more of what to expect. I hope to hear some happy news soon that HB will have a wee bro or sis to muck about with!

Chez - great to hear you are doing so well and still keeping bub inside! I think you were on bed rest last time we spoke. Not sure about you but it's going really fast for me now. Can't wait for updates :-)

To all the newbies I have missed, sorry you have found yourself in here, but as you will have found by now, the women in here are unbelievably supportive and open. You will find everything you need in here to heal, and to find the courage to see your TTC experience and subsequent pregnancies through.

Well as for me, 27 weeks along now. This pregnancy has been odd! Always feeling so heavy, bub so low and like he wants to fall out. I've had so many freak outs that I'm in labour and have worried more this pregnancy than I did with DS so I'm not sure why that is. Sadly for me, mothers day is going to be pretty bitter sweet this year as the 4th anniversary of my little Luke is tomorrow. A hard day, but have to try and keep it together for my DS and family. I'm sure everyone thinks I should be over this by now but even 4 years on, it's still just as bloody hard :-(

In saying that, I'd like to wish you all a very Happy Mothers Day for tomorrow and know that your angels are smiling down on all of you. The tough days are best to be seen as milestones that you can get through, and then pat yourself on the back for.

Big hugs to all

XOX

Hi ladies

I hope everyone got through Mother's Day yesterday ok.

Powelly, great to hear from you. I hope yesterday wasn't too hard on you hun and you managed to find some time for yourself. I am sure little Luke was looking over you and your bub. I know what you mean about being so more worried with this pregnancy, but I think that it is only natural for us who have had the unhappy endings to be guarded. Take care of yourself hun.

Gigi, I hope you and DH get through this rough time and that the psych is able to help you with this journey. God, it's so damn hard some days isn't it? Anyway, I am sure you were able to hold it all together for your nephew's birthday. You are blessed to be so close to him. My nearest niece or nephew is thousands of kms away! And yay on the puppy approval. How long now until your body corp meeting?

Dory, sorry to hear about your POAS and b/t results. I am sure little HB's brother or sister is not too far away now. Hope you are all doing well.

Tess, I also had high hcgs early on and we did wonder about twins, but our Dr told us some people just have high hcg and it doesn't mean anything. The only important thing is the increase of levels. FX for you.

AFM, 29 weeks now. Saw my ob last week and everything is going fine. We have another scan next week to check on a slight problem in bub's heart but we're very hopeful that all will be ok. Dr has decided not to send me back to work before my mat leave starts, so I am now making lists of things that I want to do before the baby is born - so far it is huge - even though I am technically still on bed rest! I think I might need some help! I submitted my major uni assignment today - only one small one to go now and then I am DONE! So looking forward to that moment.

Take care and baby dust to all.
oxo

Good Morning Beautiful Ladies,
Just wanted to pop in and say a quick hello to you all. This is a very self absorbed post so I apologise in advance.
Things have been pretty hectic the last few weeks, my DH started a new job so we have been looking for a new house and packing and moving. It has been good in a way to give me a bit of a distraction but as soon as I have a quiet moment to myself it is all still so very raw.
It will be 5 weeks tomorrow since I had my beautiful James, I cannot believe how fast that time has gone. I am still counting the weeks to my due date tho and look at pregnant women and try and guess how far they are along, and if that is what I would be like now too.
I have an appointment with a new doctor in our new town today so not looking forward to seeing someone who doesn't know mine and James's history. Hopefully we will get some results from all of our tests but I am not holding my breath as they said they could take up to 6 months.
I hope you all had a lovely Mothers Day - such a bitter sweet day for all of us on here!
Much love to you all, and I hope for us all that this month is the month that we are blessed with terrible morning sickness and unable to be more than 5 minutes from a toilet at all times :).
Love Trace xo

Hi Ladies, might join you in here for a while me thinks. I have had 4 m/c's now & have just started recurrent m/c testing through Sydney ivf - Illawarra. We are not allowed to start ttc again until the testing is completed - so at least another month.
I know we have all ended up in here for different reasons but just wondering if anyone else has gone through recurrent m/c testing & if so what they found out.
I look forward to getting to know you ladies & it breaks my heart that we have to be here at all.
x

Powelly...you have been missed too my dear. Thank you for thinking of us. I am sorry i missed Luke's Day. I hope it was special for you all. What timing for you hun. So much to deal with at once. No wonder you have the occasional freak out. Thinking of you and if you need a couple of books to read, i can post you some. Something to empower, other stories for you other than the one rolling over in your mind. Well done chook for reaching 27 weeks, i bet a huge relief to get through week 19. Your little bub is growing strong and there is no reason to suggest otherwise. Thinking of you my lovely friend and here if you need anything.

Chez...Well done and congrats for reaching 29 weeks. I am so glad the scans are looking ok and that bub's heart is not giving too much concern...but i know it must be so much on your mind. Wow you are nearly there. Crazy business. And the assignments all nearly done too. Great hun. Try not to go mad on your list...do one thing for me, add to your list ' To remove 5 things from the list'! I always makes my lists far too big...I am an over achiever it seems!
Body corp meeting...is supposed to be in June but last years didn't get called until Aug. I have mentioned to them that i hope it is called asap. I think i annoy the agent taking care of the property, and i am pretty sure she annoys me. Nothing serious, just unprofessional and such delays in dealing with things. I like promptness if there is such a word.
Yes i consider myself the luckiest aunt around. I have three beautiful boys whom i adore...and another package on the way for Dec. It is great living so close to them all and being in their lives. One of the reasons we came home. We go for a camping weekend with them soon and it will be action packed i am sure.
Love to you and glad you are doing well hun.

EmJames...Sweet, i can share only some of your journey as i know it would be so different for you right now. We all walk different paths. I will say that the same year we lost our girl, we moved country, house job, car the lot and it was just full on. Make sure to allow yourself time to fall to pieces too. I was often not in a position to do that living with others and depending on so many people around us while we got on our feet. I found distraction a bit addictive sometimes to avoid heart ache. For me, i found i got angry at the situation for a while there and everyone in it. I just wanted time to be sad and i had so much to do.
I understand this is not the same for you but if a little of my experience can help then I am happy to share. Take care of yourself and nuture your heart hun. Good luck with the new gp...hope you find a good one first time round. xoxo

Mummy2two...Welcome hun. Sorry to find you in here. I am not one of those ladies but there will be a couple who can help you. I hope you find some answers. Here if you need any help. xoxo

Sorry Dory..... How are you sweet? Missing you and hope you are doing ok. Hope you are UTD to be honest. How is your walking going...any more snakes sunning themselves lately?

AFM- doing ok...won't fill in now, best get to bed. Lots going on in my little head. Night to all and especially those i have missed personals for and mcuh love.xoxoox you are in my thoughts.

Sorry for my typos everyone..will fix when i can. xoxo

EmilyJames - Hope your appointment with the new doctor went well. There's nothing worse than having to explain things over and over again. I can't believe it's only been 5 weeks since you lost your precious boy. Still so raw so please take it easy. It's been 4 years for me and I still struggle some days.

Gi'ster I've missed you too lovely, but I've been reading about your exciting things going on with the guide dogs. I'm so mesmerized by you. You are such a giver and an amazing person with such bountiful generosity. You should be so proud of yourself.

Mummytotwo - stay as long as you feel the need. Recurrent miscarriage sucks and is confusing. You sort of want answers, but sometimes you just want to hear there's nothing wrong and live in hope. I think you can take comfort in the fact that you have two awesome children, so you know you can do it. Sometimes these things happen. My step mum had 2 kids and then 4 miscarriages and then 2 more kids. I had two miscarriages last year for no reason. They did all the testing for hormones and I had an ultrasound to check structural issues and all was fine. We fell pregnant the very next cycle and I'm currently 27 weeks along. I hope you get the answers you need, and stay in here and gather comfort from all the lovely ladies.

Chez - great to hear that you are doing well and I do apologise for missing the information about your bub having heart problems. I missed that and I hope that things are ok. It's horrible having a cloud over your head but I believe you will be fine and the advances they have made in treating heart problems in babies is unbelievable. You just keep resting up, and thinking positive. Not long to go now!!!!

Big hugs to all who have gone MIA and have a great weekend :-)

Hi Everyone,

Well the trip to the Dr was a lot less painful than expected except for the fact that the history that I requested was not at the Dr's so I had to go over everything. Other than that the Dr was lovely. I think it helped a bit that she was a younger female with 3 small kids of her own so I think she was more sympathetic which was nice.
She told me as I have had a normal cycle since James that if we are ready emotionally that she cannot see why we cant start trying right away. So on that note I have noticed some of you ladies mentioning cheap ovulation kits on Ebay. Any suggestions on which ones are good and which ones are crap? Or should I just bite the bullet and pay the quiet rude price at the chemist? Are they that much better and worth the extra money?

Gigi1 - I totally understand where you are coming from with distractions being addictive. We are currently staying with my parents until our new place is ready and I dont get a minute alone. I do have a good cry in the shower most mornings as this is the only real time I get alone and I do find it theraputic. If i dont have that cry of a morning I find that I am more likely to cry at the drop of a hat during the day. I dont know if that is normal or not but it seems to be working for me at the moment.

Myangelbaby - How are you going honey, I have noticed that you have only put on one post. Hope things are going ok with you and that you find some comfort here, I know that I have. I am sorry that you have found yourself here with all of us. Hope to hear from you soon.

Powelly - thankyou for your kind words, I do have ok days and then there are days that just suck, sorry no other way to explain them! Congratulations on being 27 weeks, I dont know how I will go when fingers crossed we are pregnant again. I will be the biggest pain in my new Drs butt that is for sure!

Mummytotwo - Sorry no I dont have any information or advise for you, but I do hope that you find some help and comfort here. All of our stories and situations are different but we are all here for the same reason - to have a beautiful, screaming baby in our arms.

To all you other beautiful ladies - love and best wishes to you all. Chat to you all soon and I hope you all have a great week and :stickyvibesgirl: to you all !
Love Trace

HI all,
I posted a long reply in here the other day and my internet failed as I posted. I'm too tired now to say much except hi to all and good luck.
I will try and pop back for a proper reply in the next few days
thinking of you
K

Trace, What ever works i say. You sound pretty normal to me.
Definitely go the ebay ones. They are all pretty much the same...just go the cheapest. So what you do...search for them but them click on that seller's shop because they sell them at different prices. You can work out the cheapest and combo you want...ie preg tests and ov tests.
Hope that helps, scream if i am have not made sense. xoxoxo

Just a quick one here.

Hi Kate, hope you are well hun. It absolutely guts me when i lose a post...they are usually long and i can never say it right the second time round...so much time and effort too sometimes. Good to know you have popped by. xoxo

AFM- My SIL and Bro lost their little bub. They had their first scan today and found out bub must have died about 3 weeks ago at about 8 weeks. They are just gutted, angry, defeated. SIL goes in tomorrow for a D&C and we are madly trying to arrange dinner and flowers and some of their favourite things for them to come home to. Just horrible news and my heart breaks for them. I don't for one minute claim to know how to handle this. I have no idea what to say to them and Certainly no clue what to do. I can only hope they can see we care and love them.

Off to pick DH up. xoxoxo to all. xoxo

Oh Gigi that is so sad :( I hope they are going alright.

:(


Sent from my iPhone (via Tapatalk) so please forgive the spelling mistakes...

Gi - oh my, oh my. that is just devastating... my heart just sank. i am so sad for your sil & bro. hope sil is ok after her d n c today. hmm, how to handle? you know what to do, apart from being yourself.... tell them you are sad and sorry for their lost lil one, and for their pain, let them talk cry etc, always treat their baby as a baby who existed, because for them that lil one was going to be a baby at home....and always remember their angels day. encourage them to do the things that they need to help honour another little life gone too soon. in my own experiences an earlier loss was easier to incorporate and adjust to than later ones.... still hreartbreaking, but a different grief journey. not sure if it's the same for other women though. my friend who's had 2 m/c doesn't memoralise at all or even really remember the dates, i do and sometimes that feels weird. so each to their own.

will be back later....need to have a cry for a wee little one and for broken hearts.

not much happening here - bounding from one illness to the next - hoping the healthy fairy visits us again soon.

Gigi1 - so sorry to hear about your bro & sil. That is just horrible :(

Thank you girls...i embrace and pass on your energies to them.
Dores, I hear you and thought all those things. I also thought, what if this is not what they want. I know for me there were points when no could do anything right really. I don't want to be that person for them. I feel like i should have come out of this experience being better equipped to handle this pain for others but unfortunately we all handle this differently. I was nervous of the same thing...my other SIL while it upset her greatly to have her MC, doesn't remember dates or lose much sleep over it at all now. She was 5.5wks at the time. Although i remember mine at 6wks, i really don't spend much time thinking about it either. For me, my experience was a blessing in some way. I learnt through that MC that i could fall pregnant. I had a chance to be a mum.

Anyway, They are doing ok. SIL was of course upset yesterday am before the procedure but apparently it all went well. They both got home to a big arrangement of flowers, a basket of their favourite things, a candle and dinner. I cooked them their 'pregnancy meal' with garlic bread and bread and butter puddings.
Each of my brothers and their wives get a 'pregnancy meal' from us. Just before or just after the birth of their babies, i cook them their favourtie meals. It started out as what we could afford to do, but it has become a rights of passage for when they are pregnant. Quite lovely really. They loved everything and i think they felt we all cared.

I think i will ask them if they would like a date remembered and let them let me know what they want. We will work it out eventually. I am very sad for them but i know they will get through this.

Dory- hope you are all feeling better soon hun. We have had a bit of a cold floating around too. Not nice. Hit me and trying to get DH but hopefully we will move it on quickly. xoxo
xoxo

Gi - Hope DH dodges the cold! Today is the first day in a week that I feel ok. Not great, but at least that infernal sinus head ache is mostly gone. Good news too on the first step towards puppyhood.

Oh Gi... the pregnancy meal is such a wonderful idea, I would love to have you as my SIL! Now you've got me thinking about what I would choose to have.....

You are such a thoughtful person and always well intentioned and gentle. There might be some days that your SIL feels that no one can do anything right..... but that's ok you know? She's is liekly to be working through those hard lonely emotions. As long as you give with a pure heart, she will know it, even if from time to time she can't see it in the moment.

As an aside, I shut one of my SIL out after Amelia died. I think she was trying to make a connection with me ( she" "oh I've had a m/c too". My thought bubble "yeah that was you and this is me, this is about me, I've had a m/c too and now a child who's died" ) I chided myself for being childish and decided to try and embrace the sisterhood, nah didn't work, esp when she invited herself to the funeral, which we very deliberately made intimate and which didn't include her). Even though I still feel childish, this taught me many things, one of which is, I never really liked her and that hasn't changed and that's ok.

Mummytotwo - I am so sorry for your recurrent m/c. I have been meaning to get on and reply to you. This is a great bunch in here. I had testing -for a lot of things, so many it's hard to remember now - I had checks for physical aspects of the uterus and fallopian tubes - a HSG - hystersalpingiogram ( aka saline infusion of the uterus and tubes). The maternal fetal medicine specialist who conducted the test also said the dye they use is "like a grease and oil change" and there is usually a high chance of falling pregnant afterwards, I had ultrasounds too, of the abdominal cavity. I also had a whack load of bloods. No genetic testing as I am adopted so it is like looking for a needle in a haystack when you don't have anything in particular to look for. There is a great sticky by Inanna for testing to be done for recurrent m/c. I'll find the link and post it here for you - that was my guide for questions and research. I didn't have testing for NKC, that was next on my list.

I know the investigation process takes its toll as does the waiting...... take this time to do the things you can't do when pregnant, and just for a few weeks, try and live and life without a care. I know, easier said than done.

Just as an aside, I do know someone who pursued testing for NKC ( natural killer cells) and she was diagnosed, took the treatment and within two cycles was pregnant and has not long ago had her miracle bubs.

A friend of mine, who has had two m/c but exceptional difficulty TTC was recently diagnosed with Congential Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH) - she's on a course of medication now and is waiting for one more blood test before she tries IVF again. The endo indicated that the CAH was disrupting the hormone levels she needed to fall pregnant. So FX for her.

Here's that link....

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...rmation-25483/


Hugs to everyone else, I know last weekend was hard. Belly rubs too, to those with a precious bubs on board. I will be back, probably over the weekend, to do some more persies. Take care my blossoms.

Gigi

I'm so sorry to hear of your brother and SIL's loss. I am sure they really appreciated the pregnancy meal that you arranged for them, along with the flowers and basket of favourite things. I am sure whatever you do or say will be just perfect, just as it is here on BB.

And thanks for thinking of me and our bub. The scan showed that the hole in the heart is closing naturally, which is great news. Now we hope that it is healed before birth but at least we know now that surgery is highly unlikely so that is good news.

oxo

Afternoon Lovely Ladies,
Gigi - so sorry to hear of your SIL and brothers loss. I really dont know what to say, my heart just breaks now everytime I hear of another woman going through baby loss. Before losing James I was always saddened when hearing that someone lost a baby but now it is such a personal pain. Im sure they appreciate everything you are and will do for them, just knowing you're there and and that you care would be a comfort. When hearing James had passed away my brother drove all day to be with me and was there for the birth. Having my brother at any of my labours was not something I had ever thought to ask of him, but he was amazing. I am thankful every day that he was there with my mum and my DH when James was born. Our relationship is different now, stronger. Do you have a close relationship with your SIL?
How are things with you? You sounded a bit down in your last few posts (understandably).
AFM - having quite a bad day, just overly emotional, cried so many times! I think knowing that we are now officially TTC has thrown me a bit. It is 6 weeks today since James was born, I know that is not very long but I am just so desperate to be pregnant. We started trying to conceive with James on the advice of my Ob as I have reoccurring CN3's so he wants me to hurry up and have babies so if I need to have a hysterectomy I can. So I have that terrible feeling now of time ticking away. Everyone says your still young (31) you have time etc etc, but as I now know baby making is not as damn easy as it looks. I have spent so many years of my adult life trying not to get pregnant it seems like a cruel joke now I am so desperate to be pregnant.
Sorry for prattling on everyone!
How is everyone else going? Everyone seems to be a bit quiet lately and I hope that is due to lots of baby making!

Chez - I am so glad that the news on bubs heart is good.... it must be such a relief. How is the bed rest coming? You must be close to 30 weeks by now? Or maybe more? Time takes on a different pace post TTC and post partum.... whereas before time was thick like molasis, now it's super slippery, like oil. Try as I might, I just can't keep a good grip on it.

Gi - how are you doing?

EmilyJames - hugs for a hard day....ttc after loss is so very hard and honestly, takes a lot of courage. So even though it feels like you're having a bad day, in fact it's just normal part of the grief jorney to have tough days and days that don't seem as tough. It's ok to be desperate to be pregnant too. I am sorry taht you have the added pressue of possible health problems. What is CN3's?

Am going out to dinner tonight.... am so tired that I am fast losing my enthusiasm for it, but I will solider on as I know it will be enjoyable once I get there..... can't live under a rock huh?

Hiya to everyone else, just short form me today.

Hi girls, i know im ment to be taking a break from BB but i wanted to pop and ask u all a question.

did any of u go from wanting a baby more than u wanted to breathe, to not really knowing if u do want a baby?
From the week that Jack died all ive thought about is having another baby, but now that im getting back into things iused to do pre pregnancy, and the girls growing so much in the past few months, im not sure i actually do want antoher one. Jack was to be our last baby and maybe he will be?

i dont know maybe because we're actually trying now and are able to fall pregnant its scaring me.
The big factor is starting riding again, i dont ride when im pregnant, ive just found a new trainer who's fantstic and im looking into buying another horse, but if i fall pregnant again, i cant ride and dont want to buy a horse and turn it out for my entire pregnancy and then get back into it, god knows when! arrgghhh i dunno, is this normal?

Hope ur all well xxx

Normal Normal Normal hun....which doesn't go to say which choice is right for you...that can change daily. I wish it were that simple. It peaves me -this part of the journey. Such a strong desire one minute mixed with a few nonchallant moments can really confuse the mind and the heart.
Sit with it for a bit longer and one of which will happen!!
Ha...such wisdom i have. NOT.
Thinking of you skybie, hope it gets clearer for you. There is nothing wrong with Jack being your last bubba.
xoxo

Thanks girl for all your lovely thoughts for my Bro and SIL. They have gone away for the weekend and none of us know where. So They are doing well, finding time for each other.

Girls, I might have to post this in another area however i will ask here first.
My darling nephew..(3), is going through such a hard time. He had constipation a some time ago and has now got a fissure. He is in absolute agony and it petrified of the toilet and doing a poo. It has become a horrible experience for him. Yesterday he said to me..'Aunty J.., i am never going to do a poo, ever ever again, forever!' My heart breaks for him. They have tried what seems like everything and for the first time last night they had to use an enema...which didn't work. The phobia is certainly growing and the pain for him is horrible. ATM he is having to have caster oil teaspoon everyday to soften the stool for him. He is having a good diet and they have cut back his milk and sugar. He gets god fibre and a bit of fruit. Anyone been through this and how did you get through it? xoxo

Gigi - your poor nephew! As a kid (roughly his age too!) I had troubles going to the toilet do do number 2s it was a little psychological for me. Has he been asked if he is holding it in because he doesn't want to go or just hasn't needed to?

There's a drink you can get from the chemist I think it's called movacol? It supposed to help with constipation. Otherwise my mum put me on chocolate flavored laxatives when I was younger and that seemed to help.

Afm- On the ttc front. Had clomid day 2-6 it's day 9 today. Stopped the blood tests after day 7 as I fainted and have a massive bruise.

Skybie- honey I feel like that every few days too. The whole am I really wanting a bub... It's normal I've been told. I don't want anyone thinking I've replaced my angel zach. (and my chem preg bubs!)

Hope everyone is well x



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Thanks LysnDan.. yeah he will need to go, stiffens his legs and tries to cross them, holds his bottom and his face is terrified as he is trying to stop his body from expelling. He goes into a sweat and starts crying and asking for help. It is just heart wrenching. So he needs to go and he stops himself. xoxo
I will pass that on to my SIL and Bro.

Hope you are feeling ok after that bruising experience. oxoxox

Gigi the bruise is still here. Looks really bad. I'm glad it's cold. Have to cover it up with a jumper.

Going out to dinner tonight with the inlaws :( really missing my boy today.


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Hi Ladies,
Just popping my head in for a quick catch up - no energy for much tonight!
Dory - thanks a heap for the recurrent m/c info - I will check out the link & try & work out what I have/ haven't had. Hope you enjoyed your dinner out too.
Gigi - your poor little nephew - such a shame. No experince here sorry but hope something positive happens for him soon.
Lynsdan - hope dinner was nice & sorry to hear you aremissing your boy. Some days are definitely harder than others....I've had a bout 40 vials of blood taken in the last few weeks so am feeling your pain onn the bruised arms look :)
Chez - great news about bubbas heart - must be a big relief for you!!
Skybie - I think it is totally normal too to swing from wanting a baby more than anything to feelings of doubt. I too feel like that some days. I have 2 beautiful kids which for most is more than enough yet I am pushing for another when it seems the universe doesn't want me too. Some days you do question it all but I think if you look deep enough you know what is right for you.....Good luck sweety!
EmilyJames - hope tomorrow is a better day for you - hugs x Life can be quite ironic & cruel somtimes too - I totally agree!
Anyway girls - enjoy your Sundays & love, luck & magic to all of us xxxx

Skybie - ah.... thankyou for putting into words things that have been running around my own mind lately.... desperation mixed with ambivalence, and in my case guilt too. Glad the girls are doing so well. And I agree with Gi, it's ok if Jack is your last bubba. Only you know what will work for you and your family. But it's a lot to work through.

I haven't ridden a horse in ages, but OMG I just adore the smell of them, and I love the feel of their muzzle and their ears and love the sound as they softly exhale ( some might say snort, but it's more gentle than that). I like they way they move. I like they way they are sneaky about somethings and downright stubborn about others. I find their teeth a bit creepy though.... I think it's the green staining.

The one thing I have learnt on this journey, is don't hold back.... "waiting". If you do, then life will pass you by. But I also learnt that when I had constant nausea for about 4 years. Initially I just stayed home, hoping to get better, but after a while I just got on with doing things, because if I didn't because I felt sick then I wouldn't have done anything.

In my experience, you tend to regret the things you didn't do rather than the ones you did. And besides, I get the feeling that you need to do something for you, something that really makes you happy.

Gi - oh dear sweet little boy! It's so sad that he is so frightened of doing a poo, and that's because it hurts so much. How truly awful to be so frightened of something he has to do. I know there is surgery for fissures, for adults but not sure for kids. My great niece has similar issues but she's only 18 months old. They've been to see a paed but I can't remember what happened with it all, except that she still has problems. Just hugs, for a poor frightened little boy and parents who must just be in knots trying to help.

LnD - GL, hopefully the clomid worked for you this cycle. Has DH come back? I thought I read somewhere that he was going away? You'll never replace Zach and people who think that haven't walked in your shoes and don't understand. You can't control what people think, and sometimes people are just so niaive they will think anything. I was probably one of them..... Enjoy dinner :P Let your bruise show and maybe start some family gossip... oh I am naughty tonight.

Emily James - hope you're going ok today.

AFM - had a bit of a watershed moment recently. I had a conversation with a relative, who I find a bit bossy, and after the call, I thought, why did I ever bother to call you? After feeling critized for my lifestyle and parenting choices, and compared unfavourably to someone else, I just felt pretty downtrodden. But I have devised a strategy to respond to the unfavourable comparisions..... I used to defend myself, but it sounded so hollow and pathetic to me. Sort of whiney? So I have come up with a response and am just waiting to test it out. If I were a different personality I would just speak my mind, and start a family feud, but that's not me. Besides, the last time I said my mind, the family feud lasted for months..... yikes, I just can't be bothered with that sort of caper.

Anyway, I'd best be off. Take care. And belly rubs to those lucky enough to be doing the hard yards of being UTD after late loss....

Hey ladies! Hope you're all well. I will pop in a bit later with persies as I've just got back from my holiday, but Gi I wanted to tell you Cam had the worst constipation a few months ago to the point of me having to put those clear bullets up his bottom so his poo would come out (it was when he was coming off formula onto cow's milk and also it coincided with me giving him heaps more solids than milk). Well it worked but I couldn't to that every time he was clogged up so I give him 1/2 stewed apple a day (granny smith is the best) and he's been having soft poos since. Mum told me that how she deals with her terrible constipation so she suggested to try it on wee man. Your SIL could try that.....xx

[quote

Dory- dh is home. Will be until Thursday. Then he's back to work :(

Dinner went okay. Got a tad bit drunk. The inlaws never make meeting easy... I felt so uncomfortable. Lol after a few drinks I started to feel better.

They brought up having babies and I had a bit of a poor me moment and mil asked me if I was pregnant yet. (dah- I'm drinking- of course I'm not!) lol can't handle people asking at the moment.

Anyway hope everyone is well.


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Why the empty quote expatriate?


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Hi Ladies,

Thought I would pop in here and share my journey with all you lovely ladies. After having my 3rd MC a few months ago we are now back TTC again. I am currently in the 2WW and I think I am about 5-6DPO I usually only have a 8 day LP Oing on day 21 or so. This cycle I actually O'd on day 15-16 which is a huge shock to me as I haven't taken any more Clomid since my cycle where I fell pregnant with bub #4 whom I lost at 9.5weeks which totally gutted me after having and hearing a very strong heart beat on more than 3 ultra sounds. But we are back in the game again and I have my next FS appointment at the end of June thinking about making a DR appointment today to have a BT to check my progesterone levels in a couple of days time if AF don't turn up before then.
I look forward to getting to know you all in here and hope I can help you all through our journey of TTC.

Clairesmummy...welcome and I am sorry it has not been an easy journey for you. You will find beautiful and caring women in here and I know...all the suppor tyou will need. I hope your stay in here is short but as long as you want it to be. osos Take care and good luck for this cycle. I hope it is a bubba to stay! xoxo

Clairesmummy - welcome sweety - I know your story well & was utterly devo'd for you after your latest loss.
I am not actively ttc for another cycle or 2 due to recurrent m/c testing but will be rearing to go again soon too.
Do you plan on trying the clomid again or just natural for the next few cycles? Hopefully you wont need cos you've got
a sticky bubba on board. All the best anyway x
LnD - double d'oh on the inlaws having to ask if your pg esp when your sitting there with them having a drink. A tad insensitive I would
think. Hugs....
Dory - well done to you for trying to keep the peace re: the phone call with your relative. Some times it'as tempting to stoop to their level but be
strong & stay true to yourself.
Anyway, a big hi to everyone else - bbl for more news!
xxxx