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Thread: TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after 1st trimester ~ December 07

  1. #1

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    Default TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after 1st trimester ~ December 07

    If you have found yourself in this forum you no doubt have had a painful journey. TTC after recurrent miscarriage/stillbirth or Late Loss takes special courage and support. The aim of this forum is to provide a place where women who have endured loss can share their stories, friendships, treatments and triumphs!

    My greatest wish is that you all leave this forum with nice big fat positives in the shortest possible time!!!

    I hope so much that this month is YOUR month.

    If at any time you'd like to make a suggestion, or provide any constructive feedback for this forum, please contact one of your following moderators:

    Cailin
    Flowerchild


    or alternately you may contact Kelly (however she may take a little longer to respond at times!).

    Email addresses can be found here.

    We appreciate all your feedback as it does help to make our forums a much happier, relaxed place to chat! We will always take your comments seriously - all comments are treated confidentially...



    You will find the previous thread HERE

  2. #2

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    Sorry, Cece, i think your right (well duh of course your right, you would know what u r up to!!!!)

    I think the post i read was just from a CeCe not Cece says, i just right away thought of you!! Iwill need to hone my detective skills a bit more!!! Sorry love!!!

    Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas (as Merry as it can be that is) and i Really hope that 2008 brings some Happiness to all of you!!

    love StarBright
    xoxoxoxo

  3. #3

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    So as I was crying this evening thinking about how I am the last cousin in my family not to have a child, my mom called. My wonderful DH was holding me and said let the answering machine pick up. So my mom proceeds to leave me a message asking if I had received christmas cards from my cousins yet and aren't all the little ones so cute. She said doesn't your my cousin's daughter look like an angel. I wonder sometimes if my mom has any sense at all.
    barbara

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    Barb, thank goodness for your DH, let him keep holding you and cry that pain away, my heart is breaking for you babe xoxoxo Its just not kosher for comments like that- do they not THINK before they open their mouths?? I have had a fair share of similar comments. my fave was my dad at a big dinner- we had just lost Zahra and there were a few ppl there with kids who were busy feeding them and sortin gthem their dinner while the mums and dads dinners were sitting there going cold-My Dad looked me straight in the eye and said "isnt it great not to have to worry about feeding kids, we just get to eat our dinner hot" i could have punched him, instead i took myslef far far away and left him wondering what he had said to upset me....... to this day he still hasnt figured out why i was upset.

    Big Hugs Barb, big huge hugs

  5. #5

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    SB - your dad is lucky, I probably would have punched him. I hadn't cried like that in acouple of days and I think it was welling up. hope you are feeling well. any pregnancy symptoms?

  6. #6

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    I'm so sorry you ladies had to put up with such insensitive comments. I really think people just don't think at all.

    Wishing everybody a Merry Christmas, and if you can't be merry, just remember there are people who understand what you're going through.

  7. #7

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    Thinking of you all This Christmas Season.
    I may not be posting much but I do check in on you all and wish you all the best for 2008. May it be a great year of Blessings for you all.
    hugs
    Judy

  8. #8

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    howdy everyone.
    barbara- sorry your mom managed the insensitive comment award. hopefully it is the winner of the contest and there are no others. folks just don't think sometimes. i put myself in that group - i said something stupid to a colleague the other day about his illness. i hope he is the forgiving type. that said, i had another friend say to me at a party he is so glad we are having a girl because there are too many boys in our group of friends already. i wanted to burst into tears or punch him, but instead i told him that i counted one too few. he didnt mean it, i am sure, but it hurts just the same. big hugs.
    cece- hope your dtd does some christmas magic.

    i'm wishing the best for each and every one of you during this difficult time, and sending the biggest, most obnoxious hugs along too. i know in my heart that our angels are with us and are holding our chins and kissing our tears as we wish they were here to open presents and tell tall stories to. love to each of you, xxoom

  9. #9

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    Thanks Auntie M. I know we all hae put our foot in our mouths at some point in our lives. Its just hard when its your own mother saying something. I know our boys are havign a big snowball fight in heaven right now along with the other angels.

    Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season.

  10. #10

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    Hi Everyone
    Just wanted to check in to see if everyone was ok after a very emotional Christmas? I wasnt sure what to do this year but ended up lighting Ethans candle, and hanging his decorations on the tree. I didnt have to say anything to anyone - they all knew the candle was for Ethan and at the end of the night when we went to bed, no one wanted to blow out his candle - of course I ended up doing it!

    My MIL gave me a story book she ordered with Ethans name and our address and animals names etc all through it (thoses books they personalise for kids) and she told me it was for us to read to our next child so they would always know about Ethan. She also made clay footprints in a frame which she copied from the footprints we got at the hospital - it was so beautiful - she is truly amazing!


    Anyway, hope everyone is feeling a little calmer now that the big day is over for another year!

    Love to you all

    Naomi

  11. #11

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    Naomi, the book sounds great!! What a thoughtful gift for your children to come....

    We too had decorations and candles burning, i was naughty and left mine burning!! They were big though, and still burning now...

    Hugs to everyone for this hard time!

    xoxoxo
    StarBright
    xoxoxo

  12. #12

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    Hi y'all...
    AuntieM- thank you for your well wishes! How are you feeling? I think of you often.

    I prayed for each of us these past few days... I honestly don't know where I would be without you wonderful women.

    I *thought* I ovulated on CD 15 like always... but tonight (CD16) I have some crazy ovary area pains... so I guess I might be popping an egg a little late? I have no idea... but will coax DH into DTD in case. My chart is here 185457 Ovulation Charts for those of you who stalk... I am always up for opinions... I am not charting once O is confirmed in hopes that it will make me less insane in the tww.

    Love and Blessings to each of you!
    CeCe

  13. #13

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    Well AF finally arrived so next cycle I will officially be part of this thread.

  14. #14

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    Hi Everyone. Merry Christmas. I survived Christmas - and surprised myself with how well I coped. We spent Christmas with DHs family - and had several events to attend. I was able to talk about Nathaniel and pretty much everyone was lovely to us. We have been very lucky with how supportive people have been. I was around babies a bit, but this does not seem to bother me too much thankfully - as my family always has a baby somewhere.

    I did find that by Boxing Day I was exhausted and needed a break. It is hard having to see people for the first time and hear the sympathy - whilst it is appreciated, it is also taxing. So Boxing Day DH and I had a fight and I am sure it was due to me being emotionally exhausted, but it helped. We went out for dinner on our own, which was great and exactly what I needed. We took Nathaniels' memorial box to show DHs mother - she loved it. We left it with her (which is a big deal as it also contains his ashes) and she was thrilled that we were trusting her with it. She wrote a note saying 'Thanks for letting me look after Nathaniel' - which meant so much because it means she sees how important that box is too us, and I have now realised it is important to her as well.

    Still waiting for AF. Have stopped bleeding since D&C for a week now, so fingers crossed all is healing.

    I hope you all coped with Christmas and that everyone was kind to you.

  15. #15

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    I couldn't sleep. it is 4am here in the states. i started thinking about how happy the holidays were supposed to be and how far pregnant I should be right now (almost 26 weeks). so i am sitting at my computer crying thinking about all the should have beens. this sucks

    barbara

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    Hi everyone...have been off line for a fair while now...been to the bottom of that deep dark place I know you all know about...but have found so much strength in reading this thread. Christmas was tricky as it was our first with 'the first grandchild' provided by my brother for my overly delighted parents...it really sucked...but we got through it and now we have some time to ourselves to prepare for our pending due date...8th January our precious one should have been entering the world...so instead we are moving house? Weird how things work out hey? Hope everyone's doing ok xxx

  17. #17

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    Hi Ellie. I hope you are okay in the days leading up to your baby's due date. I also hope that you have others around you to support you. At the very least you know that we are all here and understand exactly what you are going through. You have obviously had a tough ride, and I hope 2008 brings you some peace and the courage you are looking for.

    I got a bit teary before - just thinking about all the 'should be happenings'. I would be 24 weeks on Monday. It all seems so strange at times to realise that I am no longer pregnant. I was speaking to a good friend today for the first time. She was lovely, but I can tell that no matter what she will never really understand what I am going through. She kept trying to put positive spins on things (even though I was already being postive). I think I will at times have to tell her to back off a bit in the nicest possible way. I know she means good, but at times I felt like I was being lectured.

    Anyway I hope you are all keeping well.

  18. #18

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    Katiegirl - I think we have the same friends. Most pople are very well intentioned and are doing the best they can. And truly I hope none of friends ever do understand what we are going through becasue I wuldn't wish this on my worst enemy. If you need her to back off a bit i am sure she will understned.

    Ellie - I know what you mean about the holidays. I am the last person in my extended family to have kids. My cousin's 4 month old DD was in for her first xmas and everyone doted on her. hope you are doing better and good luck with the move.

    As for me I went out with some old high school frinds yesterday. My best friends from high school are twin boys that I used to do everything with. i don't see them much now since one lives 12 hours away qand the other in London. It was nice. Its like being time warped back to a simpler time. When I was alone with one of them (the one I didn't see for thanksgiving and wasn't able to tell personally about my loss) he just put his arm around me and told me how sorry he was for my loss and hugged me. Then we went on with out evening. It was so nice to feel normal even for a short period of time.

    barbara

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