TTC after Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth or Loss after the first trimester

Hey gals, I just came accross this in another section, it's very interesting...
I hope I can link it properly
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ad.php?t=34189

Hey everyone, hope you are all well.

Another week, another chance, another hope and another dream :grouphug:

Mel - big hugs to you babe. What is with that man!!! Why can't people be a little bit sensitive. I hope you are doing ok, you sound as though you handled the situation very well. I'm very proud of you, you are stronger than you think :hug:
I think the book is a beautiful idea.
Wow! A new house - how exciting! We built our house 5 years ago and I feel like I need a change.............one day. Did you get any good ideas?
I know how you feel Mel, it is a frustrating journey, but please don't give up just yet. APRIL WILL BE OUR MONTH! I'm sure of it. Please stay positive and let's help each other through and we will get our BFP :pray:

Bailey - sounds like you had a good day yesterday. I hope those pains are implantation pains :crossfingers:
If you decide to go to the ball let me know. If you want to join our table, that would be great! When do you leave on your trip?

Nat - how are you going? How is your dad? I have been thinking about him a lot.

Tommysmum - sorry I think I am the last person to be giving advice on what is a normal cycle! lol. But it is probably just your body getting back into the swing of things. I hope you get your BFP soon, if not then AF so you can start to work on next month asap.

Spring - how did you go at the shops? Did you find something?

Klee - how are you going babe? Have been thinking of you. I hope you are doing 'ok'.

Hi to Chelle and Deb, hope you are both well and anyone else I may have missed.

Well I now have 2 infected ears from the seed that the acupuncturist put there to help me sleep! I don't really think that it has helped me sleep just hurt my poor little ears! So I have taken it out and am trying something else. My big sister (the nice one!) suggested that I buy some fish because this helped her sleep a few years ago when she was having trouble. She said that she used to watch them swimming around for a while and then when she went to bed she used to picture them in her mind and it helped her mind not race but it also relaxed her. So yesterday my sister and I went out and bought a tank and all the other bits and pieces and 2 white goldfish. I have named them Hope and Dream - hoping that they get me to sleep and dream to give me pleasant dreams. And I think it worked last night! Ok, you probably think I am a complete nutcase so send the straight jacket!!! lol

hi everyone,

Lynn - Oh your poor ears. Are you ok? I think the fish is a great idea. We used to have a couple and they are really relaxing to watch aren't they? Thats great they have helped you sleep.

Nat - Doubt very much they were implantation pains :( I just don't think it's going to happen this time. Not sure if you get the paper, but today there was an article about using those steroids to prevent miscarriage. I remember that you were telling us about it the other week. I have saved it, so let me know if you didn't get it and I can send it to you. It's weird, but that is two articles in a couple of days, one was on stillbirth and one on re-current miscarriage. Both of the women in the stories had gone on to have healthy children. Maybe it's a sign for us I all!

Well, I have no idea what is going on with my body at the moment. I think I may have ovulated today!! :doh: just going by CM!! That would make it day 29, and 8 days after we last DTD. So that sucks and rules me out for this month. I can't be sure cos I am no expert on what goes on, it just seems like it. Oh well, I will test in a week, but I have all but given up for this cycle. I will come on later and say hi.

Hey Bailey - is that late for you CD28? Don't give up just yet........the old witch hasn't arrived yet so there is still a chance :pray: It is weird how our bodies work isn't it.

I had another BT today and just got the results back :crying: hormone levels are still really low. I have no idea what is going on. I am CD25 today so surely my levels would be higher if something was going to happen. I am seeing my FS tomorrow so I am going to bombard him with questions as to WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!

Hello everyone!
I have been MIA again - I am now the proud "adoptive Auntie" of twin boys born vaginally after about a 40 minute labour. First baby was born 15 minutes after arrival at hospy and the second ten minutes later! All well and gorgeous.
Yes, it would appear I am still Kelly! They are big boots to fill and I am confused every time I look at it!!!!!!

Bailey: I would really love to read the article you saw. Can you scan or could I email you my address so you could post it??? Would that be okay??? I hope you get your bfp this month my love...

Mel: Have you tested today??? I am thinking of you. I know how tough the end of a cycle is if there has been no positive... I am thinking of you sweet woman.

Nat: So great to see you again!!!! I have missed you a LOT! Tell me your news!
Yep, if the clomid increase this month doesn't stimulate at least two follies then we will move it up a notch to FSH injections next cycle with a trigger shot. This month I am having a follie u/sound on cd12 and I am guessing another a couple of days later. If the follies are a good size on the second u/s I will have a trigger this month also. It just gives a more concentrated bding time frame! Tell me Nat how much clexane are you on 2500 or 4000?

Chelle: How are things? Are you out there?

Lynn: I posted your crystals today and I really hope you get them before Easter. I am so sorry about your results. I am glad you have an appointment tomorrow. Make sure you write down all of your questions - make the most of the time and pick his brains! I will be waiting to hear tomorrow and popping in and out. I am thinking of you and sending lots of love... :hugs:

Tommysmum: I hope you find the support in here a help and may your journey be short and sweet.

Spring: I can't believe that ticker. I hope that things are going better with the inlaws.
I am sorry I have been away so much. It's going to settle down now I am sure!

Well, I haven't stopped today, catching up after a busy couple of days. We have booked four days at Coolum Beach for Easter and I CAN"T WAIT! I begin my first 150mg dose of clomid tomorrow (cd5) I :pray: that this increase will stimulate "my girls" into some serious action! My last angel died in October but the journey has been going on since this time two years ago. I found I was pregnant just before my Evies first birthday and as you know she just had her third birthday last weekend. I am feeling better though now - I always feel really flat when I know it's another month without being pregnant - it takes a few days to get back up again...
We just have to keep believing truly believing that there is another baby out there for us. There is!

I will try to pop back later... :hug:

Flowerchild - I actually meant to mention at the bottom of my last post that I can send you a copy. I don't have a scanner (and even if I did, I probably wouldn't be able to use it :D)but email me your address and I will send it on thursday when I am back at work. Oh, can you get my email address from admin? Or I can email it to you??

Evening Girls

Deb Im glad your feeling better, It is so hard when a anniv comes around, try to be good to yourself over the next couple of days. Sounds like a wonderful couple of days comming up for you, Coolum is just so nice and relaxing just what you need to get those ov going. How very incredible being there for two births Ive been so lucky to witness my 4 N&N birth and I still can not get over that emotion, it would be something I could do everday! two at once....amazing!
Im crossing all that with an increase of clomid you get big fat folllies with eggies, as for my clexcane 4000 once a day but after last visit he said he would increase it, maybe to once in morn and once a night? we will have to see.

Lynn good luck tomorrow, go in there with a written list of questions I find this helps. I have my fingers crossed that you still might O. I will call you tomorrow. As for my dad well scans are being done on wed and thurs so we will know if it has spread Im praying that it hasnt.

Bailey You know that pain could also be your overies producing hormones once pregnant! dont give up hope yet...have you tested? I didnt get the paper but I would love to read the article I will get you my email address or if Lynn wants to give you my address that would also be fine. what paper was it?

Spring is it tomorrow you see little spring?

Mel, chelle tommysmum and anyone else I hope your all doing OK, I will try and pop back in later after I recover my rice!!!! Hay Deb with this Natural killer thing, last night felt like s*%t yet today feeling 100 times better so very weird!

Bailey

I just had four phones calls regards to that newspaper article, and one girlfriend just called in with it so thanks but I have a copy and I think I will be getting a whole lot more!!! Once again thank you so much for thinking of me. Luv nat:hug:

No worries,
When I read it this morning, I thought of you right away cos I remember you telling us about it during our marathon lunch :D It look so promising, the lady interviewed has had a baby after I think 19 m/c's.

Hey girls, just a quickie from me as I am totally exhausted. Pop in tomorrow to do longer personals.

Off for my scan tomorrow. Might find out if Spring is a pink or blue flavour but I am going to keep it to myself (got to have some surprises)

Mel: hope AF has stayed away. Thinking of you babe.

Bailey: Increased CM is a pregnancy sign. Mine was insane (sorry if TMI) so it doesn't mean that you O'd late. I have everything crossed.

Flowerchild: Coolum is wonderful. One of those beaches that hasn't gone crazy with tourists and skyscrapers yet. I love it there. I hope you have a very relaxing holiday and get a chance to revive.

Lynn: See you in the morning for the scan. But don't forget, you can pull out at anytime. You have no idea how grateful I am that you have offerred to be there. I know how huge that is. Hope your ears are better. Sweet dreams.

Dream: Great to see you back babe. Europe in September sounds devine. Sorry you felt so crappy yesterday but I am glad you are feeling better.

Chelle, Tommy'smum and all you other darlings, hope you are well.

I am off to have a shower then might pop in before bed.

Big love
Spring.

Spring - Good luck with the scan tomorrow. Do you have a feeling on what you got in there? How exciting, the suspense is already killing me!! Wow on the increase in CM during pregnancy. I actually just did a HPT which came out BFN, which I expected as I am still 7 days off for AF. Oh, thanks for the positive thoughts, I hope so!
Make sure you get straight on tomorrow and let us all know how the scan goes.

Hey girls

I have been thinking about Chris (confused egg) the lady who has been in a medically induced coma since having her son almost 7 weeks ago. I know that most of her don't really know her, but I am been thinking about her poor husband and family as she lost twins in 2005 and this just seems so unfair. I understand her husband is driving back and forth between the hospital, his son on the otherside of town and checking on his house in Newcastle. I was thinking of organising something whereby we all pitch in with some practical things. Even if we get some petrol vouchers, organise someone to clean the house/mow the lawn etc so that her husband can totally devote his time to her.

What do you think? I am not talking about a huge financial contribution. If say 5 of us pitch in $20-$30 that would be $100- $150 bucks. If this is too much or you want to donate more, then just whatever you can afford is more than enough. I just feel that we should do something/anything to help. If anyone is interested let me know and we can figure out how to organise it. I also have pleanty of baby boys clothes that I am sure Harry wouldn't mind sharing, so perhaps we could also put together a hamper to William her son from our angel babies.

Just a thought.

Luv Spring .

OMG Spring, that is terrible, I didn't know this had even happened.....count me in! What happened? Is there a link I can find here?

Here is the link Bailey

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ad.php?t=33863

I don't know the full story but she had some strokes and is only just waking up.

Life can be so unfair.

Luv Spring

Off to bed now Mrs. B

Talk tomorrow.

lv Spring

Hi Girls,

That is so sad about Chris (Confused Egg) :( I dont really know her but I cant believe how unfair life can be. Even though I am not in Sydney I would love to help her family, I dont have any "boy" clothes as we didnt find out Nicholas' sex before he was born but I do have plenty of gorgeous little outfits that have never been worn (although they were washed in preparation for his arrival) and I would be happy to post something up to one of you to put in from Nicholas, I know he would love that and so would I.

Lynn - All the best for tomorrow. I really hope your FS can give you a plan and some answers and maybe some positive vibes for April cause I second that APRIL WILL BE OUR MONTH (pretty please with a cherry on top :D)!!!! I hope your ears feel better you poor thing, the fish sound like a beautiful idea and I can tell you now that my mum used to have a tropical fish tank and she found her little fishies very relaxing she could just sit and stare at them for the whole night. By the way, I love their names!

Spring - All the best for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you and lil Spring and although it is absolutely killing me to know whether to look for a pink or blue pressie (you know I am really impatient LOL) I will be happy to wait until his/her arrival into your arms.

Deb - Your easter holiday sounds wonderful and I really hope you enjoy it and come back with some good news (or at least not long after that), you really deserve the break.

Bailey - Did you happen to use an OPK at all or are you just going on CM? I sort of agree with the other girls, I remember that when I was pregnant I kept running off to the toilet wondering if I was spotting because of all the CM... fingers crossed!

Nat - Sorry you werent feeling too good, hope the "better" feeling hangs around.

Hi to everyone else.

Well if you hadnt noticed I have changed my ticker to CD1 which yes means AF showed up tonight at about 8pm. I didnt have all that much hope anyway considering she was due yesterday and I did a test this morning and it was BFN. I dont know why she felt the need to mess with my head because I can guarantee you I had my hopes up last night seeing as she has NEVER been late before (well not since I was pregnant anyway). But oh well what can ya do?

My OB rang me at lunchtime today with DHs results... not the best :( WARNING: TMI FOLLOWING!... Count is high which is great, they swim well and last long enough which is also great but 90% are of "poor quality" which he believes is most likely the reason it is taking a while to fall pregnant. He thinks that the tension from both of us during TTC time isnt helping. I dont really understand how this can be the case when he has produced 4 healthy babies (Nicholas was healthy, I was the problem) and now all of a sudden this problem comes up. The OB said it isnt too bad a problem and that basically it just means that what might take another couple 2-6 months to do may take us 8-12 months!!! WTF??? I cant wait 12 months!!! I dont really know what to do. I dont really know all that much about these problems and in all honesty it never entered my head that this could be the problem. DH is obviously devastated and when AF showed up tonight he actually apologised to me which made me feel awful. I told him that he doesnt have to feel guilty everytime AF shows cause it is not his fault and he said it is cause his body isnt working properly. I said well if you think that about yourself technically I could say that it is my fault Nicholas died cause my body didnt work properly! He saw my point and said he will try not to worry about it but I can tell he is really upset. I have made out like I am not worried at all and that we just need to be patient and eventually it will happen. I would not be doing him any favours stressing out so instead I will stress out to all of you girls. Anyway, in a way its good to have answers... but I think I would have preferred not to have answers and therefore no reason to have problems iykwim.

On a different note, we have decided not to wait to build a house and are going to talk to the banks about a full mortgage (very scary :o) to buy the land and get the house underway. We fell in love with a display home that is absolutely perfect for us and our family situation (or planned one anyway). I knew we shouldnt have gone looking but bugger it, we may as well get ourselves sorted out before another bub comes along - especially seeing as it may take a while now. Talk about some severe retail therapy!!!! Not that we have bought it yet, but we are very seriously looking at our options.

DHs kids are staying with us this week, except Wed and Thurs, until Easter Sunday and because DH has to work I am looking after them (YAY to a week off - although agency called this morning and asked me to work Thurs so I said yes seeing as they wont be here). We went and did some fun things with my sister, nephew and niece today and they all had a ball, so did I actually. The youngest (2 and a bit) keeps calling me "Mummy" and I dont really know what to do, I kept correcting her today and saying "no I am Mel" and at one stage I frustrated her and she yelled at me and said "no Mummy". DH says to ignore it and she will grow out of it but I am worried they older kids will go home and tell their mum that she does and her mum will crack it. Up until recently she has called me "Mel Mel" so I dont really know what has changed but now it is quite clearly "Mummy".

Anyway guess I should be off to bed seeing as I have to get up with the kids. Sorry again for the long post but I dont really want to break any habits right? LOL

Take care girls, Mel

hi ladies, I haven't had a chance to catch up on the thread, but will have a read and post another later. Just wanted to let you know how the 6 week check went. Having mixed emotions, all blood results and Phoebe's results were fine which is relieving, but then I feel guilty thinking the way they describe the cord entanglement, surely I should have felt her slow down, but the thing is I didn't notice her slow only that she stopped altogether, which leads me to thinking that she must have had a slow one, something I can not handle. I'm sorry to bring the thread down, I just needed someone to hear it, as its hurting so much. I guess the old saying is true, one step forward, two (quite possibly more) steps back.

Hi Klee :hugs:

Klee, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling and at times like this words just seem so hollow - I can only say I am sorry... :hugs:

Something I do know is that just because you didn't notice Phoebe's movemements slowing down it doesn't mean that her passing went slowly. Did you they tell you if she had an unusually long cord? Sometimes the baby does some flips and turns and gets entagled... YOu know there is absolutely nothing you could have done about it. That is bitter sweet knowledge I know. This was an accident a tragic accident but one that you had absolutely no control over.

Sweetie, I am sending you lots of love and hugs... :hugs:

Hi Klee :hugs:

Klee, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling and at times like this words just seem so hollow - I can only say I am sorry... :hugs:

Something I do know is that just because you didn't notice Phoebe's movemements slowing down it doesn't mean that her passing went slowly. Did you they tell you if she had an unusually long cord? Sometimes the baby does some flips and turns and gets entagled... YOu know there is absolutely nothing you could have done about it. That is bitter sweet knowledge I know. This was an accident a tragic accident but one that you had absolutely no control over.

Sweetie, I am sending you lots of love and hugs... :hugs:

Mel, I am sorry about your DH's swimmers. However, I believe there are some natural things that you can do. Zinc is really important for healthy sperm production, vitamins E and C and Folate along with b12 and b6. It certainly won't hurt and can only help so I would be heading to the healthfood shop! Folate should be taken with b12 and b6 - this aids effectivity and this combo is known to affect (in a healthy way) dna repair. I :pray: that in the next short while that bfp is coming your way. Yay about the house!!! That's exciting - we built the home we are in now and it was lot's of fun. I found it really enjoyable and we had a wonderful builder and a wonderful experience. I hope you have that too. :hug:

Spring: Thinking of you today as you have your u/sound. Please come in and tell us how it all goes... :hug:

Lynn: I am going to pop in and out to watch for your post. I am hoping that you get some answers and a plan today... :hug:

Chelle: How are you???

Bailey: I am hoping that you are having early pregnancy signs!

I have some work to do today - the girls and I just finished playing barbies! Our second chookie has begun producing the goods so that's very exciting!
It is a beautiful day here today so I am off outside for a while - I will be back!

Hi all,

I hope everyone is well.
My period is due in a few days and to be honest I really don't think I ovulated this month, which is unusual.
ttc is hard enough as it is (it took 14mths to concieve our angel) plus we think that DH may have some problems (he's a type 1 diabetic) so I think I'm gonna be here for a long time!
I really want to be pregnant, but i'm also terrified!

Sorry for my whinge, just needed to get some things out, hope you don't mind!

flowerchild, thank you, no they did not mention the length of her cord, but she was very, very active whilst in there, so I guess she just got into trouble.

spring, I would like to contribute, i would like to think that if I was in a similar position, people would help my dh and family out

lynn I hope your appointment went well, waiting to hear

hugs to everyone

oh and spring, I hope your u/s went well and that lil spring is blossoming

Mel: I am sorry about DH's swimmers, I can understand why he feels guilty but it absolutely isn't his fault. I agree with what Flowerchild said about taking vitamins to help their quality. I actually saw a thread about this recently, I'll see if I can find it for you. Although it is little comfort, you know that DH has fathered 4 healthy kids so it may just be a matter of time. I know how devastated you are every month that AF shows up, but I can only hope and pray that it happens sooner rather than later.

Great news about the house though babe, we built our house in Brisbane and I found it a great process. We were lucky to have a smooth run. How exciting picking the design, paint, colour etc.

Klee: Oh you poor thing honey. We have all been through the blaming yourself scenario. Look back on our posts and we have all doubted ourselves and blamed ourselves. I think that guilt is just the only way to try to understand such a tradgedy but I am telling you babe, you were a wonderful mother and there is nothing else you could have done. I agree with Flowerchild, just because you didn't feel a reduction in movements doesnt' mean that Phoebe passed away slowly. I know it is very little comfort to you but there are plenty of us who thought our babies were still moving only to learn that they had passed. I remember, after we had been told that Harry had grown wings and even after I had seen the ultra sound confirming no heartbeat with my own eyes, I could have sworn that I could still feel him move. Try to be easy on yourself. With big warm :hugs: babe.

JLK: You are welcome to whinge whenevery you want babe. Have you been temping or doing OPK's this month to try and track Ovulation? It can take a while for your body to get back into the natural cycle. If you are worried, go and see your doctor, this isn't something that you should have to worry yourself about. I think that you can get blood tests to tell you if you have O'd (I might be wrong though) Flowerchild, Lynn or Dream will be able to help you with that info. Take care babe.

Well: I had my scan this morning with Aunty Lynn in tow. Spring is doing great, all the things I was worried about with Harry don't seem to be a problem. I was a bit annoyed when I got there and they asked me to explain what happened with my last pregnancy after I explained it all the last time I was there. How's this for a tip, take some notes and don't ask me again. She even asked me how long he lived for. Here's another tip, he was stillborn, listen the first time. Anyway, I have forgotten about that now because the relief has set in, if only for a little while. I was a bit worried about the dates being a bit out (about a week for some measurements) so I called the doctor and he said up to 10 days is a normal variance. As Lynn can vouch for me, they had a new machine and the tech lady was there bascially stepping the ultrasound technician through it, so I wouldn't be surprised if she was a bit out due to inexperience with the machine. Anyway, the doctor assures me that the baby is the right size for the dates so I am not going to read anymore into it.

Oh and I know you are all anxious to know and yes, they were able to see if there was a pink or a blue flavour in there. They were as sure as they could be for this stage of the pregnancy but I will get it confirmed in 3 weeks at my 19 week scan. And no Mel, I am not spilling the beans. I only told DH and I whispered it to Harry when I got home, I haven't even told the dogs (lol)

I'll be around all arvo so catch up with you soon.

Lv Spring

Hey everyone!

Klee - I read your post and some of the words were like I had written them myself. Deep down I know it wasn't my fault but I can't help to blame myself so I know how you are feeling. Through this journey you will take one step forward and two back but you will eventually take a few more steps forward. It just takes time. On a positive note, it is great to hear that your bloods are all good. Big big hugs to you :hug:

Jo - welcome back. We haven't seen you in here for a while. I hope you are doing ok. I feel your pain, it took us 2 years to fall with Cooper and now I am struggling again. I hope you have o'd this month and you get your BFP very soon.

Nat - I will be thinking of you and your dad tomorrow. I hope everything goes well :hug: I hope you are feeling better today.

Mel - I am so sorry to hear about DH's boys. It is very hard on the one partner that has the 'problems'. I blame myself all the time that I am the one stopping us from having a baby. While it isn't good news, at least you know and can sort it out. I hate the witch!!!! She is visiting too many of us at the moment. I hope she is kind to you and I know that this is the last time you will see her for a very long time. And because you asked for April to be your month so politely I think you will get it :pray: How exciting about the house! You deserve it! I hope you are ok with the little one calling you mummy. It must be so hard for you Mel, but you are so strong.

Deb - barbies! How much fun! Hope those chookies of yours kick into action very soon. How's the witch treating you?

Bailey - could you please send me a copy of that article. How weird that there was an article on Stillbirths then the next day an article on recurrent m/c. Hopefully this will create more public awareness and hopefully more research. My fingers are still crossed for you.

Spring - how did you go this afternoon at the kennels? Have you had a chance to speak with DH about the scan today? Lil Spring is so cute!!!

Well I went to see the FS today. He said that my body has not responded to Clomid and that I won't o this month. It is just hearbreaking that my body is not doing what it should. It is hard having to grieve the loss of a child and to struggle with TTC. I thought Cooper was going to be our miracle baby but here I am again, struggling to get my miracle. And I know that falling pg is the first struggle because then there is the struggle of getting to full term and having that baby in my arms. I am trying to remain positive. We spoke about the risks and benefits of increasing Clomid or going to FSH injections and IUI. He suggested going on the injections as he thinks there will be more of a chance of me o'ing this way. He has also given me some meds to bring on AF so we can start next cycle ASAP instead of waiting for the witch to arrive which could be whenever! So hopefully this plan is going to work. Not sure how I am going to go with injecting myself every day (Spring don't read that part!) But I have to remember what my dream is and get there any way I can. So the plan is injections, with monitoring via bt and u/s. I hope this works :pray: The main thing is I have a plan and I have something to get me out of bed each day.

Sorry Spring we must have posted at the same time. It just took me a while to hit reply.

I am going to say that lil Spring is a boy. We both said it when we saw the profile that he looked like a boy so if lil Spring is a girl - I'm sorry! lol. Whatever it is, it is so special to have such a wonderful mummy.

I was annoyed too when the lady asked why you were having a scan and what happened last time????? I can only imagine how you felt. I know they see lots of people but we were only there 3 weeks ago. I thought you were very brave and strong telling her the story again :hug: But yes you are right, don't let this bother you because you have a beautiful little baby growing inside of you who you will be holding very very soon. And Aunty Lynn can't wait to meet lil Spring too!

Any hints?????????????????? blue???????????? pink?????????????? Come on!!!! It is killing me!

Lynn I am sorry that you are not going to O this month. I know how devastated you must be. I am amazed that they can give you medication to bring on AF. I hope she hurries the heck up so that you can start with the injections. You are very brave, you know that, and you know what, even though I would probably faint every time, I will help give you your injections if you ever need a hand. Just make sure there is a bed and soft surfaces nearby (lol)

Nup, no hints about pink or blue. Not even telling my Mum and Dad but it does make it seem a little more real now. Not that it wasn't real before, but now DH know the flavour of Lil' Spring, we can start discussing names. Any suggestions for either gender are welcome.

Luv Spring

Lynn, I am sorry my love that ovulation isn't going to happen this cycle :hugs:. However, you have a plan! Do you love a plan? I am a plans girl so plans always make me feel "safe"!
Injecting every day isn't a hoot but it really isn't that bad. I had ten days of injections last month when I was pregnant and truly it's all over in a flash. I will be on FSH next month also if I don't have a few follies on the increased doseage of clomid. FSH gives an increased chance of pregnancy for many women without the effects of the endometrium that the clomid has. You are going to get that baby Lynn. It's there just waiting for the right time. :hugs: What a great friend you are to go with Spring for a Lil Spring sighting!

Spring: So glad my love that the u/s went so well and Lil Spring is doing everything he /she should. I understand at keeping the sex a secret. You know about names... I told my DH that if I had another son I would like to call him Saul. Saul means long awaited one. My husband has an issue with the name due to an association so it's not going to happen here. I am one that likes a name to have a meaning... I thought I'd share...

[Klee: I hope you are okay this evening... :hugs: We are all here for you as you go through this time...

[Jo: Have you thought of using opk's or temping? That will help to give you an idea of what your body is up to. I found opk's took a few cycles to get right but after that I have found them a fabulous tool. I hope you get that positive soon. Remember it can take a good six months for your body to return to optimal fertility after birthing. Sending you lots of love... :hug:
Mel, Chelle, Bailey - I hope you had a lovely day...

I have been making hot crossed buns today (among other things!)- yummo I made a batch that disappeared in no time and batches 2 and 3 are on there way. I had better go it's bath time here!
*See* you all tomorrow...

Flowerchild, we must be on the same wave length. I have spent most of the afternoon searching for a name.

It is really important to me that the name honours Harrison. I am trying to find a name which means little brother/sister or kindred but I am not having any luck. Saul is a gorgeous name and one day I know that you and DH will have a chance to name your child that if you so choose.

I am about to post a thread for a baby boy/girl name with the meanings I want so lets see how I go.

Lv spring.

Thanks Deb. I do love a plan. It is what gets me out of bed each day and a reason to keep going. A plan to me is a positive step and my FS is positive that this next plan will get me to where I want to be. I think the hardest thing for me is accepting help. Help from meds. I never ever thought that my body would fail me and that I would need intervention. I have struggled for 3 years to hold an earth baby in my arms and I feel like I am running out of energy. I don't know if it is because I am also grieving and this takes away so much energy as I feel numb and empty. I just keep thinking how cruel and unfair life is that I was dealt 2 blows - fertility problems and a stillborn. I just feel like everyone around (excluding BB) is falling pg and having healthy babies. How can I be happy for other people when I can't even be happy with myself. I cry every day and I find it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am not the same person I was 4 months and I don't think I ever can be. I feel like people around me don't understand how I am feeling and I can't even write what I am feeling because I don't know how to write it. I want to be that happy and positive person I once was but I just can't find her anymore.

Hello everyone, you guys have been talking alot!!

Spring - C'mon, give us a hint, you know you want to. I know a girl who called her second son Brody and apparently that means brother in Celtic or something. It is great to hear that Springlet is doing well, but that sucks that you had to tell them your story all over again.

Mel - So sorry to hear that AF turned up. Also about the swimmers. But at least you have a reason now, and that gives you something to work towards and Flowerchild said, there are vitamins that DH can take to help the little guys. But you guys have the proof that he can father children, so I guess it comes down to lots more DTD and then waiting. I hope the wait is not too much longer for you. That's so exciting that you are going to get yourself into lot's of debt :) and build your house. I would love to build a new house on our block, but our mortgage is huuuuuge (for a ****ty little 2-bedder) just because we live in Sydney!! So that rules out a new house for me.

Lynn - So sorry to hear that you won't O this month. But, at least the FS has a plan for you. Even if you have to inject yourself, I am sure in a little while from now when you are holding your miracle in your arms, you won't care about how you had to get him or
her. Oh, yep, I will send you a copy of that article, can you email me your address?

Klee - I am so sorry that your results are making you feel so mixed. I was told my daughter had passed a day or two before I noticed but I thought I could feel her. As Spring said, if you go back through our post's you will see that each one of us has blamed ourselves or felt guilt at one stage or another.

JLK - If you can't have a whinge here, where can you? I can't give you any advice on how ovulating etc works, as I can't work my own out, but maybe try the OPK's as some of the others have suggested. I don't think that they worked for me, but I could have been doing them at the wrong times, I have no idea.

Flowerchild - Can I come and stay at your house? It always seems to full of fun and adventure :) Barbies, Hot crossed buns, chickens, it just sounds fun.

Nat - How are your plans going with Europe? I meant to say the other day, if you need any help, advice or quotes let me know. I am away from this week, but I will be back in the office in a couple of weeks so I can give you my email if you need anything.

Tommysmum - Did you get AF yet? How was today, sorry I didn't come, the monster was outta control this morning. I think he's really missing his dad - and he's making me pay. He told me today that he is going to drive the plane to Baaaarly on saturday, lol, and he would probably be a better pilot than the current Garuda ones...oh that is terrible.

Hi to everyone else too.


Well, thanks to everyone for the anti-AF vibes. I hope you are all right, but I doubt it. To answer someones question, I didn't test for ovulation with a OPK, I just guessed by CM, but it is back to normal today, so I have no idea what on earth is going on. I guess I will just wait til I am able to test. When do you guys think would be the best time to do a HPT? AF is due on monday. I know we said this before, but it really does seem that wherever you go, everyone is either pushing around a newborn or is about to pop one out huh? It suck's. It didn't used to bother me, but that was when I thought I would be UTD by now. Oh well.

O Lynn, I wish I could jump into the screen and give you the biggest hug ever. My heart is so aching for you. I cant even begin to imagine the pain that you are dealing with every single day. I only hope that talking to us in here, can ease it some what. Your plan ahead sounds like a very good one, and im so sure you will see the brightest BFP very very soon. Just hold on hunny and I will say a little prayer every day that god is watching over you.

O spring angel, so so exciting, you know the flavour!! well done you for keeping it from us. Thats just awesome that you had a fantastic scan. Hmmm as for names Im not so good on that front!!

Deb, you sound so busy, hotcross buns, aw so YUM!!! they wouldnt last long in this house either, they never do!I was so sorry to hear you got the witch, but you have a wonderful plan in place, BFP coming your way too, I can feel it!

Well as for me AF due today, got all the cramping so I know she is hours away, I have never tested early but I thought why not and of course BFN! I so want a plan. I need a plan too, but it seems like know one will help me. Im under the hospital gyno here, and they seem to not worry. I dont know if I should go pay hundreds to see one!! not sure if they would do anything anyway. I ovulate, Im a 28 day cycle, what is there for me really. What would help... Im getting REALLY impatient..
A big Hi to everyone else, off to bed, too bloated and sore to think straight. So disappointed, but I know once she is here I will just try again...
Nite everyone xxxxxxxx

Lynn: You are strong, you will survive this pain, I know you will. Hang in there babe. As flowerchild once said to me, the universe has amazing plans for you :hugs:

Flowerchild: I'm with Bailey, can I come and sleep over at your house? I was more a Cabbage Patch girl myself but I am flexible and can do Barbies. You are a wonderful mother and a great friend. Two of the most important traits in a woman in my eyes.

Bailey: Depends on which test you have and it's sensitivity. The ones I had were really sensitive and I only got a BFP the day or so before AF so if you do test, don't get to put off if it is a BFN. If you can hold out until the weekend then try and test then, if you are anything like me, you will be testing everyday anyway. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I have been looking at names which mean brother/sister/friend and I have come across Brody and Amity which I both really like. Plenty of time to decide so keep them coming.

Chelle: Good to hear from you babe. I'm sorry to hear that AF is on her way although. About advice concerning TTC, the girls in here know everything there is to know so perhaps Dream, Flowerchild and Lynn can give you some advice/suggestions concerning your options.

Take care my sweeties,

Luv Spring

Good evening all,

Lynn Sorry I havent called, Im sorry the news was not good but Im so glad you have a plan in place, as Deb said the injection are not that bad trust me you do what ever you need to do to get that baby! Bring the witch on and lets get started!!!! Thanks for the thoughts with dad, Im not going with him as he needs to be there for 4-5 hours so he said not to worry but I will take him to Thurs appoint.

Spring Boy or girl, girl or boy.......umh......I will have a think and let you know over the next couple of days. as for names I love a name with a meaning, sometimes you can pick your names and then they are born and look nothing like you thought Im now with, have a good look take some time and go from there! Poor DS waited three days for his!!! I just so very happy all is going well, but whats with the 20 questions?

Mel Im sorry that DH got the not so good news. Im with Deb on this one all those vitm can do wonders start him on them asap. Im so glad you have decided to build your new home, as I said before new home, new baby you will get all underway and hay presto BABY!

Deb Im glad to hear other grown women playing with dolls, saturday night I was playin with my girlfriends daughter and her "little people" she has them all from the ship to the castles!! I dont get to do girl things with all boys, norm playstaion or pokemon!

Bailey Im going to take you up on that offer, but thinking might wait till June for the Autum sales to happen But please send me your email and we will talk! Lovin DS and his Baaaaarly! Bet you cant wait!

Chelle Do you have a Rm/Cunit over there? I will find that doctor who I posted before for you I know he deals with NK cells and Rm/C. Can your GP do anything for you? I think testing could be a good idea. Im sorry AF is on her way, I just wish she would nick off for all you girls.

Klee Im going to just reiterate what alot of the other girls have said, dont ever feel like you are bringing anybody down we are all here to help each other get through the roughest paths we are following. And my god have a look at me in Dec when my world just feel out from under me!!! I just hope you can feel like you can say what you need and find comfort from us all......Im sending you a great big down the computer hug.

Jo As Deb has said it can take a while for our bodies to get back on track as much as we dont want to wait. There is a blood test to confirm if you have O but it has to be done on day 21-22???? DEB confirm or deny (sorry its late and I need bed) but your GP can arrange this if it would put your mind at ease. Dont apologise for whinging that what we are here for. anytime.

To anyone I have missed Im sorry but I do hope you are well.

Well I had a wonderful day babysitting and will again tomorrow, my girlfriend had to work and I happen to be avail!!!!! like what else was I doing, so I played with him all day well accept when sleeping, And I will be taking him out to luch with me so i can push the pram and play babies again........Do I sound sad and desperate? It is fun but. Oh but the way Deb can you send me the recipe for hot cross buns better still send me some over night they sound good!!! You are such a good mum. Im off to bed I need all the energy I can get for my 18mth old tomorrow. Good night and sweet dreams to you all.

Luv Nat xxx

Nat have fun babysitting.

Lynn you will get the baby you so deserve, you are in my prayers every night, and I know that Cooper, as Harrison has for Spring, will guide this most precious gift to you.

Spring, glad to hear lil spring is blossoming, Harrison must be a proud little angel in heaven.

Deb I second the call on the hot cross buns, they and Venetian biscuits have become my vice and diet since Phoebe's passing. If only I had the recipe I would not have to stock my freezer up for the winter months!

You ladies have given me a task to get through today, to learn what all the initials stand for. I know what you are basically talking about but am flying a bit blind, so sorry for my nonchalance.

Thanks ladies, its been a tough few days and nights but I do realise that guilt is part of the grieving, its just hard not to feel it I guess, and I know all you ladies understand what I am feeling. I guess its that knowledge of utter helplessness for our angels that leads to our guilt.

I had a few good days prior to the few bad days so I guess I should have been expecting it. I had my first day out with some friends I had not seen or spoken to since losing Phoebe, it was the christening of one of their children, a bit strange as you would know, but a beautiful mass nonetheless. I experienced the first of the non-recognition episodes that you ladies have mentioned in previous posts. I got the hugs but not the words, I kind of understand, seeing as though it was not the place for it and now that I look at it I guess the hugs were recognition in themselves.

Hi to everyone else, you are all such special ladies, I hope one day to be as strong as you are in TTC. Good luck to you all in TTC.

Deb - thank you so much for the moonstone and rose quartz and the lovely card. I will do as you say and I hope that they along with everything else that I have next to my bed helps me next cycle :pray:

Nat - I hope everything goes well with your dad today. Let me know how he is. Have fun babysitting!

Klee - under 'introduce yourself' there is a thread that lists the abbreviations. This helped me when I first started, so it may help you. You will have good and bad days on this journey. Cherish the good days because they don't come around that often and just ride out the bad days. You can always come in here on bad days and let us know how you are and we can guide you through :hug: Wow! How strong are you for going to the christening. It just shows how much strength you do have - I know that there is no way I could have gone to that. I'm sorry that you have experienced the non-recognition episodes. Unfortunately people just don't understand, but like you said, the hug was probably their way of showing they care.

Chelle - perhaps you and DH could get some tests done just to make sure that there is nothing wrong. I hope that you get your BFP but if not, I hope the wicked witch is kind to you.

Jo - Nat is right, you can have a bt (blood test) done to check your progesterone levels. This will indicate whether you have ovulated or not. The best time to do it is 7 days after ovulation but if you don't know if you have, just have it done and it will be able to tell you.

Hi to everyone else :hello:

lynn, they say you get strengh from the people that support you and well you inspired me to go, I read your email about the shopping centre that morning and thought I can do this, i took my mum for support, I kept focused for the mass, then left in tears. thank you for your inspiration.

Hi Gorgeous Women!

Lynn: I am glad you received your crystals - I wished a thousand wishes over them before I posted them. YOU WILL have another child. I am glad that a plan gives you comfort too. Sometimes our bodies just need a little shake up! The FSH has a good reputation for women who have a little trouble ovulating. Bring on that period and let's get this show on the road!!!

Nat: Thankyou for the kind words - I am glad you got some "girling up" with your friends little one. It's fun sometimes hey to see the world from the ground up. I have a friend who has four boys and she loves to play barbies!!! I struggled with the whole perfect woman barbie thing but...

Spring: I think your idea for a name is a beautiful one. Good luck on the hunt for that perfect name.

Chelle: As Nat says you can have a blood test 7 days post ovulation that is often called cd21 test - it is simply a serum (blood) progesterone level. A level greater than 20 indicates that ovulation has occured. In women of our age (arghhhh) they like the level to be up around 40. It shows then that a "good" ovulation has occured. I would be requesting it from your gp. What cd are you on?
As for is there anything else? Well yes. I ovulate on my own too - I have had a luteal phase defect (when the time period after ovulation is shorter than 12 days - mine was 10-11 days). An effective treatment for this is clomid. Clomid has managed to increase my LP to 14 days so thats great. However, as you know as you age it is sometimes a bit more of a challenge to get a good egg. You could be releasing an egg each month but even in young women not each cycle will you release a healthy egg. Then if you get the egg you have to time intercourse correctly - contrary to popular opinion it is unlikely (not impossible or improbable but unlikely) that your egg will be fertilised by healthy sperm if you don't have intercourse in the 24 hours around ovulation. So, you need to know with a pretty good window when you are going to ovulate. This can be done with temping or with opk's. I personally can't temp as my sleep is too disrupted so I have learnt (and it took some time and patience) to use opk's.
Personally if I were you I would get a consult with an obs - someone recommended by word of mouth. As Nat says given your history looking into an autoimmune cause for your losses would be a really positive move (I think). An obstetric immunologist would be a really good investment. I am not sure how the system works in NZ but I think you have a medicare type subsidy. Either way a consult with a specialist would be really valuable. Many obs are of the belief that for women of slightly mature age;) that stimulating the ovaries to produce more than one egg a month is a more proactive way of acheiving a pregnancy. The thought is that out of 2-3 follicles that there is more likely to be at least one good egg! So what could take 3 cycles to acheive only takes one or whatever but you get the gist. You can do this with clomid or with FSH (which is what Lynn will be beginning on this next month).
I hope that helps some - it sounds like Nat has some contacts for you... It's a really frustrating gig this journey with so many opinions and options. Sometimes it's really hard to know the right path to take... Sending you a big hug... :hug:

Bailey: It is a bit of an adventure sometimes! I love living here - I love the lifestyle and the country town way of life. Sometimes I miss all the wonderful food in the city and the options but at the end of the day I think myself very blessed to have what I do.
With an early detection test you could test tomorrow with fmu - however, it could just be too early as well. I feel for you in the 2ww - it's not a fun time.

Klee: A christening would have been a really hard call :hugs:. Sometimes people just dont' have the skills to know what to say. Sometimes it's just hard to find the words... I do know though just how important it feels to be able to talk - to be able to say what it is you need - to talk of Phoebe and to have the people that you love do that too. I am sorry that you didn't get that. Those hugs though sound like they were loving and heartfelt. I hope you are okay... Sending you lots of love :hug:


Well we have been to playgroup this morning - very exciting with Easter around! I am tired at the moment and am so looking forward to going away tomorrow afternoon for the Easter break! How exciting - after posting here I am going to pack the bags before a certain 4 year old gets home from preschool and directs a fashion parade!
My friend is arriving home tomorrow with her twins. It's very exciting for us all! My kids have made cards and painted pictures for the new babies - very cute!
I began on my 150mg dose of clomid last night. One night down 4 to go. I am worried it will take me to an evil place - the clomid really does affect my moods (I wouldnt' admit that to my DH though!) I am praying that this is the last dose and that this is the month for a bfp for me.

I will pop back in later on. I hope you are all having a lovely day...

Klee - I am so glad that I am able to help and support you. It really touched my heart to read that I had inspired you to go. I wish sometimes I could inspire myself. It is a massive step that you took and you are allowed to cry as much as you want. I think through the loss of Cooper he has made me a much better person and he has helped me find my 'calling'. I like to help people. I want to try and help people through this heartbreaking and painful journey. I know how much it means to have fantastic support around me so I want to be able to provide that back to people including you. I won't lie to you, this is a hard path and I wish that none of us had to travel it, but I have realised that I can't wake up from this nightmare so I have to live it as best as possible. There are hurdles along the way and some are very high but we get there.............one step at a time, together. Phoebe is watching over you and is so proud to have a wonderful, beautiful mummy.

luv & hugs
Lynn
xxxxxxxxx

Deb - I hope that Clomid is kind to you :pray: I'm sure DH is used to it now! I know my DH was last time I was on it. I too hope that this month is your BFP! We have been a bit slack on the graduations here. I realised something this morning though - depending on when AF arrives I think my o time is going to be around the time that I am going to be in Qld. I would really have prefered to be at home. I'm sure we will be able to do things up there if need be???? Nothing I can do now, just wait it out and see what this month brings me :crossfingers: