I am sitting here crying because I have just read a story about a woman who has lost her second child. It just makes me so upset that there are so many angels - why? Why does this happen to me and you. How does this happen? Why are they taken from us? Life is just so cruel and unfair that little babies don't get a chance, a chance to live their hopes and dreams. Not only am I upset, I am angry. Angry that this happens to wonderful women who try to protect their babies and do the right things. What have we ever done to deserve this?

Today I feel like my empty arms are aching. Aching so much to hold my baby. I want to hold Cooper again and it hurts so much that I won't ever be able to do this. I want to be able to hold another baby too but that it seems is so hard. Why haven't I ovulated at CD28? Why can't I fall pg easy? Why is this so hard? Why does it hurt so much? My arms and heart just ache.