TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

Hi everyone - geez some people can talk (won't mention any names ladies) - so i hope i get all this down right (excuse me if i have missed anything)....

Flowerchild- I must say that i don't mind those Optus ads but you are right - money should go elsewhere. We are with Telstra and i noticed that they overcharged us $800 over a period of 8 months or so. Before i knew how much they overcharged i rang them and they could see where the overcharge was so they averaged it out over the 8 months ($260) - i was not convinced and did my own homework - rang them back and they credited me the rest instantly - didnt' question it at all. I was very impressed. Also, DH phone was playing up constantly and whilst under contract he demanded to get out and get a new phone etc....no problem again - couldn't believe it. We were very happy after that !

Lynn - sorry that AF has not arrived but perhaps that is because you are UTD !!! What day are you on now ? Yes - well about DTD after being pg. I told my ob yesterday that i don't have to do it anymore (do it ?) and he said "now now" - typical men ! We had a good laugh but i still get the taps on the shoulder by DH. I just say that i am tired/sick etc. Can't hold out much longer though as he will go and find himself another woman - any takers ????

I think you are going to have to post that Lemon/Thyme chicken recipe - i feel like eating it now !

Spring Angel - so you have the pouch too hey - i think mine is a combo of Bub 1 & 2 - i keep thinking i should do 500 situps a day (not) and that should do it - or perhaps wait now as there is only going to be more - how fantastic ! Good idea about being in the public hosp - definitely right ! Our DD needed an op when she was born and thankgod was in the public as there was not a cent to pay and we had a top surgeon - to be honest it didn't even cross my mind about being in a pub hospital for that reason. You will have no problem anyway but best to be organised just the same. Good luck with the appointment !

Mel - i hope you are feeling better about your decision to tell your story. Don't regret what you have done - it is a difficult decision and only you know what you should do. I wish i told the "sausage man" the other day that "my belly is actually from my stillborn son" but i don't think he would have understood (with the language barrier and all)....it just wasn't the time to say anything. I guess as time goes on we will know how we want to handle these situations and who we will say things to and who we won't. It makes me think though - does "everyone" have a story to tell ? How many people out there are hiding something. I bet a lot of people are.

As for showing photo's of babies who have passed - i had no idea how a baby would look at any stage of their gestation/passing. I think i only know a couple of people (apart from BB girls) that has really. I think it as an educational exercise for most people however they react. It is a part of life and unfortunately some of us see it first hand and others are just surprised/shocked by it. If they are then so be it - they don;'t know what to expect and well i want them to know that this is our baby and i am proud of how he looks - he was still a person and always will be. This is how it is. Sorry if i have sounded harsh (i don't mean to be) but this is my personal view and i just want people to know and show them what the real world is about (and only a small part of it), according to me - as before this we were so naive.

Re: SIDS and KIDS - ring them on their hotline. You mentioned the other day that you thought the people there are cliquey. I haven't really found that at our meeting yet. Partners/parents can come too it is no problem. It is not counselling as such - just a discussion (like BB) and we support/help each other. The counsellor there mediates the meeting which is needed as topics can go offtrack. I do hope you find it helpful when you eventually go. I must say i don't mind going - well, i don't find it a loss to go.

Meet the Robinson was great - my DD loved it and balled her eyes out when we left as she wanted to see it again.

As for a present suggestion - how about a box of body lotions/creams etc. It is more for her (but could also suggest a hint of relaxation throughout her pregnancy). I don't know - i am hopeless at these things.

Well my bleeding (as little as it was) has stopped thank god - i must have been so paranoid - what a long pg this is going to be....

Hi to everyone else - hope you are all well.

Spring - what time is your appointment at the hospital today? Do you need company? Besides the Sids group this morning, I will be free this afternoon if you want me to come, just let me know. I am CD41 today. And to answer your questions, yes I am tempted to test. I am having a bt tomorrow morning to see where things are at so they can tell me when to expect the witch but they are also going to do a pg test.............so I will know one way or another tomorrow. My FS said that it is still possible to fall pg while taking Provera.............so there is a chance!!!! But I'm not holding out much hope.

Mel - I think things that we say and do are always going to make us second guess ourselves. I always feel like I say too much to some people too. I hope that she becomes another support person for you at work :hug: I love Australias Next Top Model too! Next week looks like an interesting one! Some of the girls there, I have no idea how they made it this far!!!!!

Tommysmum - see you soon - I'll be the one with the massive box of tissues and looking lost!

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well.

Hi Girls

Just popped in to say a big Hello to you all, Im trying so hard to catch up on raeding all the posts in here!!! I am tryin to get back in and do personals BUT schools holidays and DS and friends think they can over take my computer!!!! well thry have so.......by the time night rolls around its so late I just need bed for the next day! Can you all make sure you stick around once you get BFP Im going to be all alone in here soon if it keeps up!By the time Sept, Oct, Nov.........gets here Ill be posting to myself!!!

All is well here in my camp, taking my dad to get the news tomorrow so not to sure how that will go but fingers crossed all will be as good as it can.

Deb Im wishing hard here for a BFP, I sure hope you got that eggie or two!

Lynn Good luck today, anytime you need anything just call, your not alone in this xxx

Mel Whats with the ex.....Hows the new house comming?

Spring Glad to see you growing! We need a lunch!

Sarah Im sorry you have to join us here but I hope its is short and sweet.

To tommysmum, Klee, Alex and anyone else I forgot HI.

So much for not doing personals!!! But I will come back soon!

Luv Nat xxx

ps Deb the lemon chicken looks like you have been cooking for hours but you dont it very easy, you do need to cook it slow at the start!

hi again ladies, thank you for your lovely words yesterday.
My precious Phoebe, shine as your name means, bright and pure, as the innocence you bought into my life.
Yesterday was a tough one, but I'm not going to vent, DP worked late which gave me the time to myself that I needed. I tried to face the day by coming to work but realised it was much too soon. I found comfort in the strangest thing, I bought some lillies and placed them next to her photo, the closest one to the photo was the only one to open.

Oh Klee, I am sorry that yesterday was tough. I truely believe that the open lily is just like a smile from Phoebe telling you she is ok. I hope today is better, take your time going back to work, it took me 4 months and then was still an absolute struggle. Big :hugs: babe.

Lynn: Thanks for the offer to come to the Hossy but I think I'll be fine. Just doing the checking in appointment thingy with the midwife and then I think I will be talking to a lactation consultant about the lump in my boob. I hope the meeting today isn't too upsetting and that you find the group supportive and helpful. Say hi to Tommysmum and give her a cuddle for me.

Dream: Great to hear from you sweetie, school holidays are almost over aren't they? I agree we will have to arrange another meet up. I think once Bailey is back we should have a few free weekends either before or after Lynn goes away. I'll post in the thread and see what we can organise. I think Tommysmum may also be interested.

Well I am waiting for a tradesperson to come and fix the window. They said they would be here about 9am and when I called it was changed to between 9am and 12noon :rolleyes: . Well they'd better get here soon because I have plans and things to get done today, but I must admit, I am enjoying the daytime TV and doing nothing much.

Luv Spring

thanks Spring, I am back part time at work, basically on my own terms, its not mind intensive work, they are happy to just have me here which is nice. most days go okay then i get a morning like this morning where one of the ladies came in to tell me about her friend that had just had babies at 37 weeks and she goes on to say how big they were and healthy etc. do people honestly not think?

sorry no offence intended to any of you bb ladies.

Does the lady at your work know about Phoebe? If so then she is out of line and very inconsiderate for talking to you about newborns.

What planet are some people from?

Just ignore her if you can.

Take care
Spring

Hi everyone!

Tommysmum: so happy to hear that the spotting has stopped! :dance: now that is the last little whoopsy we will have this pregnancy okay!

Spring: booking in appointment today - that's always a nice thing. It's a plan, you get to talk etc. I hope it is a nice appointment with a caring midwife. LOL at the maternity bra relief! It feels good doesn't it!

Mel: I hope things settle soon with the ex wife. How is the TWW treating you my love? Have you thought about when you would like to test? I am praying so hard for us all this month. Come on :bfp: for us all!!!!!!

Klee: I am glad you got some time to yourself yesterday - the story of the white lily's was beautiful... Big big hugs Klee... :hug:

Lynn: I hope the support group helps today. I look forward to hearing about how it went. Blood test tomorrow - I hope so much that it is wonderful news.

Nat: So glad to *see* you again! We won't desert you and before long you will be in the preg forum too! Can you tell me Nat how much prednisone are you on? This next pregnancy I am going to do 2500u of fragmin (same as clexane) twice daily. What were you on? I know I know I have asked this before but I have a memory retention issue at the moment. I hope it's okay to ask again...

Me: Well I am suffering a bit. I am sooooo bloated and gassy and constipated. I am putting it down to a high progesterone level due to the multiple follicles - I can't put on my usual pants and I smell less than rosy! ;) 4dpo today but who's counting?????!!!!!!!
We had playgroup today - it's always fun but I just feel so uncomfortable. Evie painted herself more than the paper! My friend that had the twins is coming for a cuppa this afternoon - so I have to get off here and organise things a bit! I will pop back later...

Firstly I'd like to wish that someone here gets their BFP this month!That would be absolutely fantastic news:-)

I'm a newbie in this forum/thread I guess you could say I've been lying low and choosing not to talk about our disappointments thus far :(
But could really do with being 'around' others who know the pain I'm going through.
It honestly gets so hard when you want to have a successful pregnancy but lose them repeatedly.
Usually I can hold it together quite well but last few months have been a little harder on me.
Mostly because I have a couple of friends who were ttc with me and they are now both pregnant.
I was pregnant the same time as one of these ladies but obviously my joy turned to tears!
Its been 6 mths or so since my last mc Sept 06 and I still havent conceived which is really unusual for me since I normally do within a 3 mth period so now I'm thinking there is a block in my tubes! I have an appointment with my Ob next mth to discuss though.
Just feeling so down about the losses.
Sorry to start the 1st post on such a downer! You all know exactly what Im going through so Im sure - understand:-)

Well the new ticker is there! Finally! Not sure whether to cry or be happy. I can honestly say that I knew that this wasn't the month because of what happened but it still brings up the emotions. But it also means that this is the start of the next cycle - my last cycle :pray:

Hi Girls,
I don't know if this is where i belong??
I have been trying to cope with my losses and have been in denial a LOT but my latest one which just so happened to be on my wedding day :( i have realised that i can't live in denial all my life and if i am going to deal with it properly i need all the support i can get.
So is it okay if i join you guys, i must admit reading through the last posts i don't know whether i belong here because most of you have had a s/b where as i haven't had a loss that late.
So i am hoping you will allow me to be in here, and be able to express my feelings some where. I am currently an emotional wreck thinking about it so will leave it at that.
Please tell me if i belong here or in the other ttc after m/c loss forum....
Take care
Bye for now.

Hi All

No news on AF for me, STILL got the brown/red loss 16d post-D&C - seeing the GP tomorrow but Practice Nurse said it may be low haem. that's causing it, it's still low after the huge blood loss I had (borderline transfusion, so I was told).

HUGE love going out to Lynn - may THIS be YOUR month Lynn, :pray:

Just a quick welcome to Kristee (hope the DH is being a bit more supportive to you xx)and Hindonly - so sorry you are here but rest assured you are in good hands.

Big hugs to everyone else, can't stop I have rice on the stove!!

Love Alex
xxxx

Hindonly: Welcome to the thread although I am sorry that you have to join us. Of course you are welcome, we will all welcome you with open arms and will take very good care of you. Don't worry about being a downer, you can feel free to be however you want in here and we will support you just the same. It can be really hard when friends and family fall pregnant. I am pregnant and I still find it hard to see pregnant women, go figure. There are a few of us in here at the moment trying to deal with pregnancies of those in our life and the inconsiderate things that can happen (like feeling fogotten) so welcome honey, I hope you stay here is short and sweet. :hugs: to you sweetie.

Kristee-lee- I posted to you in another thread but can I just say again I am so very sorry that you lost your angel on your wedding day, you must be an amazing and strong woman to have survived that pain. It is more than ok that you join us, not everyone in here has had a s/b and a loss at any stage in pregnancy is a loss. By looking at your signature you have had a very difficult and painful time in the past, there are some very helpful women in here that will be able to give you suggestions or advice about test and medications so that you never have to feel the pain of a loss ever again. As I said, I am so very sorry, keep talking babe, it is the best thing I have done finding these women. I was paying a small fortune for a psych, but nothing in the world is better than the love and support of these ladies. Big warm :hugs:

Lynn: I can't imagine the mixed emotions that you must be feeling but I am glad that if AF was going to show up eventually, she didn't make you wait any more. Does that mean that you start the injections today? How did you find the SIDS and Kids meeting? I understand if you don't feel like discussing it, but if you want to talk we are all here.

Deb: How was your friend with the twins? Boy must her life be crazy at the moment. I hope you had a nice afternoon and that the bloated feeling is clearing up.. Day four into the TWW already, bring on day 14 I say.

Well I have my appointment at the booking in clinic. I must admit, I was a bit taken aback at the public health system. I am a private paitent but going to the public hospital and when I was walking to the clinic there were sick people just waiting everywhere, young and old, it was quite upsetting because my appointment took 1.5 hours and when I left there were a few very elderly people who were still sitting in their wheel chairs waiting. Poor old sods, I felt very sorry for them.

Anyway, the appointment was ok, the midwife was good and was respectful about Harry and answered all my questions. Although as soon as I walked in the lady at reception gave me a bounty bag and I burst into tears. I don't want a darn bag, I want Harry. That is all I could think. Of course it was really upsetting going through the whole story of my pregnancy with Harry and the birth but I had prepared myself and the midwife let me take my time. Lil' Spring must have known I was upset because I got some of the best movements I have had so far while I was talking about Harry. I always find it exhausting talking about everything, the midwife suggested I talk to some of their psych staff at the hospital who are women who deal with stillbirth so I think that I will take her up on the offer. It will be good to know that they will be the people talking to me after the birth of Lil' Spring. Also, they have said that I can do a private tour of the maternity unit so that I don't have to be in a group of 15 or so pregnant women so that makes me feel better. They are also fine with me having a Doula but said that the hospital view them as a birth support partner and that they don't have any authority in the hospital. I presume that is the case in every hospital, Deb do you know if that is normal?

Anyway, sorry for going on a bit today, I really appreciate the fact that I can be totally honest in here. Just feeling sorry for myself and for those poor old people who are probably still waiting.

Big love to everyone else. This group is getting too big girls, I think I can feel some graduations coming on.

Spring

Lynn: I can imagine the mixed emotions with receiving your period :hugs: BUT it is the start of your very last cycle!!!!! This is IT!!!! What cycle day will you begin your injections? I think you said you were picking them up tomorrow? How did SIDS for KIDS go my love? Thinking of you... :hug:

Alex: Good luck tomorrow - I bled for over two weeks with one of my D&C's. Then when I thought it was all over it started again for a few days. It would be good to get your HB checked. A supplement that I have found really helpful is "FLORADIX" it is a herbal iron mixture. It is gentle on your body and really does work. I hope your day was good and that bleeding stops for you soon... :hug:

Hindonly: Welcome my love - we have *met* in the assisted conception forum I think? I am sorry that you are here but it's a lovely place to support you through this difficult time. That bfp will be just around the corner I am sure. Remember it can take a while after a loss for your body to be fully fertile again. How many weeks pregnant were you it it's okay to ask? Sending you lots of love and I am glad you found us - we can all help each other through this difficult journey... :hugs:

Me: well I have had a lovely afternoon with my gorgeous friend and her gorgeous babies. Each time I see them I think I should have one too (we were due a weekish apart). So, it's hard but it's so lovely to see these babies finally here safe and sound. One of the things that my journey has taught me is just how precious a healthy live baby is...

I will pop back later - my DH is at ANOTHER meeting tonight (he's the under 8's footy coach this year!) so I can have some BB time tonight!

Hi all,

Thanks for the warm welcomes.
Spring i don't know about being amazing and strong to get through my wedding day- i think it was more of a case where i HAD too. Trust me many tears were shed and i tried to tell my mum that i couldn't get married, not today, i just can't.Somehow with a belly full of painkillers i managed to be able to stand up and i just tried to go with the flow as i was so zombied out.
It must have been so hard for you to talk about Harry to them! I hope you are feeling a little better now.

I was just cleaning up earlier today and came across ultrasound pics and that was the end of me for the rest of the day till now....I just can't help but think,what did i do wrong? What have i done to deserve all this pain and heart ache? I am really that bad of person?:cry:
I don't even know whether i have the strength to keep on ttc! But i just can't see me giving up just yet. I don't know i am just very confused about my emotions at the moment.
DH is starting to come around and comfort me a bit,he has finally admitted that he has no idea how i am feeling now that is a big achievement!

Sorry this post has basically been all about me....just a bit self absorbed at the moment.

Kristee-lee: each one of us in here has asked the same questions, what did I do wrong? Why did my body fail me? But there is nothing you or your baby did wrong honey. There is a reason, we just don't know that reason and to be honest no reason will ever be good enough.

I am glad your DH is coming 'round. As I said in the other thread, I have found that men grieve differently, mostly they deal with emotions internally. It doesn't mean that they aren't upset, it just means that they are dealing with it in a different way.

Just remember that it is early days honey, and you are allowed to be as upset as you need to be. Has your Ob/Dr offerred you and DH any testing?

I hope you are feeling a bit better.

:hug: Spring

Spring i had tests done not long back and they can not find any explanation as to why i seem to be losing the babies.....i think that makes me worse on asking/blaming myself for what has happened because if they can't find a reason it must be something i'm doing...
Yes i am feeling a bit better now thanks for asking.

Hopefully Deb (Flowerchild) or Nat (Dream) will pop in tonight because they know every test under the sun and may be able to help you with a plan of attack about trying to get some answers.

Glad to hear you are feeling a little bit better.

Lv Spring

Hi Spring - I am glad the midwife you saw was supportive and kind. I agree the public system can be very depressing sometimes... :(

Kristee: It's great you are seeing a fertility specialist - where do you live? Who are you seeing? He/she will no doubt do the full gamut of testing.

I have some letters to write tonight so I will pop in later...

Wow it's been a busy day. This thread is getting very full now - I'm sorry if I miss anyone.

Deb - I start the injections on CD4 but I'm picking the 'showbag' up tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous to be honest about this cycle, I just hope it will be ok. I'm just not sure how I am going to be with the injections...........but I have to remember my dream, don't I. I will need a lot of that positive energy that you send to me :hug: Sids and Kids was good. I met so wonderful strong woman but it is just so hard hearing about more babies that we have lost. The weird thing was all of us there had lost boys. It was very difficult for me to talk about losing Cooper but in another way it is good to talk about him and what happened. I hope you are not suffering as much any more. Sending you a really big hug and a belly rub to make your belly feel a little bit better.
Seeing your friend and her babies must of been really hard. I hope you are ok.

Nat - hey Nat, I love seeing your posts! :hug: I will give you a buzz tomorrow after my appointment. I guess I won't need to ask questions about my bt now cos I won't need to have it.

Mel - how are you babe? How is the house plans coming along? Any news back from the ex? Have you done a test yet????? Hope you doing ok :hug:

Spring - I'm glad today went ok. You are very strong and brave to do that alone. Just remember I am here (I'm not a nutcase anymore.........promise!!) Lil Spring is going to be here in no time - I can't wait!

Klee - your lily story is just beautiful. It was your precious angel telling you she is ok. We find comfort in many ways and I think the lillies are beautiful. I'm sorry about that person at work. Unfortunately people don't think and you will come across insensitive people all the time, they make us stronger if nothing else. Thinking of you :hug:

Alex - I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope it all goes well. And yes this is going to be MY month. I just can't keep doing this. So lots of positive thinking happening here.

Tommysmum - it was great to meet you today. Hopefully you can meet up with the rest of the Sydney gals at our next catchup.

Kristee and Hindonly - I'm sorry that you have to join this thread but you have come to the right place. You will get loads of support.

Hi to Sarah, Jo and Chelle - hope you are all doing ok.

Deb,
I just found some of my paperwork of tests already done and some of the tests are as follows:
*Coeliac disease
*Chlamydia
*Plasma Homocysteine
*Chromosomal analysis
*Lupus anticoagulant
*anti-beta !! glycoprotein
*Protein C
*Free protein S
*antinuclear antibodies
*Thyroid Stimulating Hormone
*Antiphospholipid Syndrome
*MTHFR homozygosity
*Factor V Leidin

And they all came back ''normal''. Is there any other tests i should ask for?
I am in Wagga Wagga and am seeing Jane Hargood, but if she does more tests some of them are done by some other doctor i don't know either in Melbourne or Sydney.....i must admit up until now i sorta just went with the flow without asking questions. Its pretty sad that i don't know the doctor that performed some of these tests.

Hi everyone -

Kristee - I am so sorry for the loss of your angels, I really wish you didnt have to be here. But you are very welcome, you have been through a lot and I am so sorry you went through losing your angel on what is meant to be a happy day. Unfortunately it is now the thing that will last in your memories of your wedding day. Although hopefully you graduate from this thread with future memories that will warm your heart and arms :hug:

Hindonly - I am also sorry to you for the loss of your angels. I hope that we can give you support and see you through your next pregnancy. I am sorry that you have been TTC for 6 months now, I understand how hard that is. I fell pregnant with Nicholas accidentally but now have been TTC for 7 (going on 8) months and it is so frustrating, and everytime AF arrives your heart breaks that little bit more. Hopefully we will all be graduating from this thread asap.

Spring - It sounds like it has been an emotional day, so proud of you for doing it (on your own of all things) and being able to talk about Harry. How funny is it that lil Spring was kicking around when you were talking about him... HE/she definitely knows who their brother is! How awful about the old folks, a bit disrepectful really but what can you do - public hospital staff are extremely overworked and underpaid... how evil am I though, couldnt help but chuckle at your comment that they are probably still waiting LOL.

Lynn - YAY that AF has arrived :dance: I know it is hard and you are right it does bring up all sorts of emotions regardless of whether you think you have a chance or not... AF is a reminder of what we have lost I think. But it IS a good thing, now you can plan for next month and as you said, this will be your last month TTC! The ex would have only got our response today so we havent heard anything yet - he has a phone conf booked for 24th april so not expecting to until then. Hey, how did your meeting go? When are you going away again?

Deb - Hey all those symptoms sound promising! Do you think they could be...? I think you are very brave being able to see the babies, I cant look at babies - except my niece. Actually DH had a blood test tonight and I sat in the waiting room waiting for him and he took forever (cause he is a big girls blouse and had to lay down afterwards - MEN!) and a lady came in with an approx. 6 month old boy - he was so beautiful and kept looking at me and smiling and I just wanted to burst into tears. I managed to squeeze out a smile to him (I can hardly be mean to a baby can I?) but deep down I just wanted them to go away.

Tommysmum - I feel the same way you do about our boys - it is almost my mission in life to MAKE people understand that he was just like any other baby but he just wasnt beathing at birth. I mean, other women (many of members of BB as I have noticed) have babies earlier than 36 weeks and their babies survive and are at home with them a few days later. Anyway, I think you should be proud of your boy and show him off any way you can... except to the sausage man, he would probably just stare at you and say "que?" LOL.

Klee - :hugs: to you and Phoebe. What a beautiful thing to happen with the lily - she opened it up just for her beautiful mummy. I hope you are feeling a little better today (well as much as you can iykwim). Work is tough isnt it, I went back very early - after 4 weeks and it is really hard. I think it is very insensitive for the lady at your work to tell you about the baby who was born if she knew about Phoebe, insensitive to the point of being downright heartless! I hope you dont have to go through that insensitivity again.

Nat - Good to hear from you... school hols would have been manic for you! Hopefully you can return to the land of BB again.

Alex - Hope AF pulls her finger out... is it really that abnormal for bleeding 16dp D&C? I would have thought you would bleed for a little while cause your body has to flush and stuff - but then I might be wrong (sorry) as I havent had D&C before. Anyway, fingers crossed it all sorts out soon.

Wow Spring - you are right (as usual) - it is getting full in here and in a way it makes me a little sad cause it means there are more people going through this s***. But there is still noone from Melbourne :crying: I so wish I could come to your catch ups, I think that I relate to you girls more than I can my own friends now, afterall (unfortunately) we have alot in common. And other people just dont understand and expect us to go about day to day life as we did before. I did hear back from Sids and Kids this afternoon and they are going to get a social worker to call me. I am really looking forward to going to a meeting, to meet and interact face to face with other women who have experienced a stillbirth, meet women who actually know this is my life now and not something I will get over. I know it will be hard but I really think I can benefit from it, although I am really nervous. I dont want to go on my own and I think DH doesnt really want to go (cause he knows it will be pretty much just women so he will feel a bit out of place). I would take my mum but I dont think you are allowed to, so I will just have to get up the courage to go it alone.

In answer to the questions about TWW, nothing to report yet - no symptoms whatsoever and unfortunately I have a case of thrush (she says embarrassed) because of the antibiotics I was put on for my UTI - dont know if that can affect conception but if so I wont be getting lucky this month. Anyway, I am going to try and hold off testing until after AF is due, if she doesnt come that is (hey anyone laughing at that as much as I am?) - well I did say TRY.

Hi to Chelle, Sarah, Jo, Bailey (who has left us for the sun of Bali)... OMG I feel like I am forgetting someone - sincere apologies if I am, I dont know if I can keep up with everyone now LOL... and imagine how long my posts are going to have to be now! LMAO (much like this one really). Hey we havent heard from Mish or Tess for a while, hope they're doing ok.

Anyway, guess I better go... If I keep going, Deb might have to start ANOTHER new thread hehe.

Love to all,

Mel

Mel: Don't worry about the thrush - it won't affect conception chances to put that out of your mind. I hope it clears up soon though - it's very uncomfy... :hugs: It can be hard seeing babies - it's a constant reminder. I feel the same about pregnant bellies - I often think "how did she do that" (meaning getting so big) of course I know that's not rational it's just sometimes what goes through my mind... Symptoms - IT IS TOO EARLY! Most symptoms in the TWW are caused by the higher progesterone level of the luteal phase of your cycle. So, don't think you didn't conceive because of no symptoms. I get indigestion, constipation and tingly nipples EVERY cycle - it's the progesterone. I have learned that the only sure way to know is a positive blood test. YOu don't know how much I am hoping for you this month Mel...

Lynn: How are you feeling? Today is show bag day! You will be fine with the injections - in a few days yhou will be an old hand. The thought is unpleasant but once you get down to it it will be fine. When do you go on holidays? I am glad Sids for Kids was an experience that was helpful for you... It's hard hearing all of those personal stories on mass. I was thinking of you and Tommysmum... :hugs:

Tommysmum: So glad that the spotting has gone (I think I already have said that but I am so GLAD!).

Klee, Alex, Hindonly and anyone else I have forgotten - I will pop in later... :hugs:

Kirstee - the tests you have had done are routine ones for recurrent miscarriage so I hope you can find some more direction with the specialist. I have watched your TTC journal closely - did you get a positive blood test? You mentioned you were having it done and you weren't certain if your urine preg test was positive as the line was so feint just before your wedding. Are you seeing the fertility speciaist because you feel you have an issue or is it because of your partner? I see that your little one is only 10 months old and you had an early loss last year. It can take some time for your body to return to optimal fertility after birthing - hormone levels jumping around etc. Are you breastfeeding? As you would know breastfeeding can also hinder fertility.
HOping you get some answers and find some peace...

SpringAngel - Thanks so much for your warm welcome. Its going to be a little easier for me just coming in and trying to get to know some of the ladies here and just be there for each other... I haven't lost a child late in pregnancy and cant imagine how some of the ladies here mustbe feeling & are enduring! Biggest hugs to you all:hugs: and a late congrats on your pregnancy. Although I'm sure you are v. anxious about it too! Maybe talking to someone would be a good thing to work through the pain you are carrying. It would be so difficult:-(

Mel 1977 - We've been ttc since my daughter was 9 mths then I fell pregnant only to lose it then found out it was a molar pregnancy and to be told we had to wait possibly up to 1 yr which was really hard to hear! Since I was ready 'now' iykwim. So its really been such a long haul and to have more preg's just to keep losing them well - you all know how that feels! Hope you get your BFP!! That would be fantastic :D

Kristee - it looks like we are having the same emotional and mental anxiety:-( Sorry we're both here and for that matter - all of us! But I s'pose some women have lots of luck and never exp a mc while others get more than their share! Hope we'll be having good news to share with everyone soon-ish :-)

Lyn - I hope you stay strong for your injections! I hate needles myself they terrify me! But sometimes there are other things much stronger aren't there:-) Praying that this cycle brings you want you dream of and then some!

Flowerchild - thanks also for your welcome and I know your name is familiar to me too! Maybe it was in 1 of the preg forums Im not sure! Its been awhile since I've been in here:-(

Will catch up with every1 else soon, right now I have to get my girl ready for her morning at crazy critters! Big day for us...

BBL

Morning ladies

Mel - I am in melbourne, and have been in counselling with sids by phone and one on one meetings. i haven't been to any of the group meetings but lately have been thinking that it may help. maybe we could both make the first step and meet up there?.

hindonly and kristee - welcome. The ladies here are wonderful and such a tremendous support, you have definitely come to the right place.

Thanks again, not too thinking too much about what the lady talking about the babies said, I think maybe she just forgot (I know that’s no excuse) but I subtly mentioned Phoebe's birth weight and she said "oh", think she realised as she didn't come talk to me again for the rest of the day.

Just wanting to ask a question, which may have been asked before, but how soon after your losses did you start the TTC journey?. I know mentally (and not sure physically) I am not there yet but was just wondering.

Hi lynn, spring, deb and everyone else, will do personals to you a little later on.

Mel - you are right ( you always are! :) ) this is my month and yours.......remember we have to graduate together. You sound like me not wanting to go the Sids meeting on your own. I felt like the new girl in class LOL. It was hard but good to talk about Cooper and to share it with people that really do understand. I'm sure you will benefit from it and Klee's idea of going together sounds excellent. You can be new girls together :hug: I leave tomorrow and will be back on Wednesday night. I am so going to miss all of you girls. I don't think I will be able to post while I am away so I will have a lot of reading to do when I get back. If I have time tonight I will jump on msn and have a chat. I hope you have some good news to tell me when I get back. Actually no if you get some good news you have to ring me!!!!! I will fly straight to Melbourne and hug you!!!

Deb - how am I feeling - that is an interesting question. I'm not sure to be honest. It feels like this is happening to someone else. I was sitting there listening to the nurse and she was explaining everything and it was like I was watching her talk to someone else. I know that sounds really weird but that is what it felt like. I remember I told my counsellor that when I lost Cooper it felt like an out of body experience and she said probably that was my body's way of coping. I'm wondering if this is the same. The needle looks bigger than I thought it would!!! Aghhhh!!!! I am going to be brave and strong and do this! I have to, don't I. I start the injections on saturday so by the time I am back on Wednesday I will be able to tell you what an expert I am :D It seems to have all worked out ok as I will be back just in time for my first BT on Thursday morning. I am going to miss all your words of wisdom over the next few days. Hopefully when I get back there will be some wonderful news for you to tell me :hugs:

Klee - I think each person is different when deciding when to TTC. My ob said that as soon as I had finished bleeding (which was about 6 weeks) I could start trying. When you are ready we will all be here to support you. Maybe check with your ob on what he thinks. I think that it is a wonderful idea of you and Mel going to the Sids meeting together. I know that Mel has been looking to meet someone in Melbourne.

Bailey - you are back this weekend but I am going to miss your first post. I hope you had the most fantastic, relaxing time. Do you have any good news to share with us??????? I have missed you so much :hug: I hope that we can all get together next weekend and hear all about your trip.

Hi to everyone else.

Luv & Hugs
Lynn
xxxxxxxxxxx

Well the secret is out. After generations of secrecy, here is the recipe.........

Whole chicken or pieces

The juice of 2 lemons + 2 cut in ¼ and placed around the chicken

About 3 cloves of garlic places through out the pieces

Fresh Thyme sprigs, about half a bunch throw over the top

Olive oil enough to cover the bottom of the pan

Oh the most important bit a very good splash of white wine all over! (what ever you are drinking make it a good one)

Very important to cover the chicken in foil so no air can escape and cook slow for about 40-50 min on low then once cooked unwrap turn up the heat brown, pour a big glass of white wine (not for you UTD girls!!!!) and serve with salad and the meat should just fall off! Not sure that slow roast would work - but you could try Deb.

Enjoy!

Hi girls,
Mel thanks for the welcome. I have tried to remember positive things that happened on my wedding day but unfortunately like you said the only strong memory i have is losing my angel.
Don't worry about no-one in melbourne there is no-one from Wagga in here either although i think there is 2 maybe 3 other BB members in Wagga Wagga.
Hope the thrush is clearing up for you, no thrush can't stop conception.

Deb i ended up getting the BT done before my wedding day and were going to wait till after our mini honeymoon to find out....after it all happened i came home to an answering machine that was congratulating me and that i was indeed pregnant,made things worse IYKWIM? :(
I am seeing the FS because i believe there is something not quite right and my DH just gave me a little push to make that phonecall, so its a decision we both made.
Unfortunately i am not breast feeding as i had to stop after 5 days so i don't have the effects of BF.

Hindonly i am sorry we are both here too!! But it really does seem as if we are in the same boat with to how we are feeling at the moment.

Well this morning i have been to the doctors and got a BT form to see what things are happening. He was a bit worried about how much blood loss i had so wanted to check whether it had caused any problems and where my hormones were at. Well i am hanging up in the air until i get my results back at 4:30...just 1hr and 24mins...hey but who's counting :lol:
The doctor has told me that if everything comes back normal then i am free to ttc again whenever i feel ready.....i am not sure when that is!
Anyway Talk later

good luck with your appointment Kristee. just have to say you have a great name, sorry ladies same name as me jsut different spelling

lynn - have a wonderful and safe trip, take a bit of you time and look after yourself, look forward to having you back next week.

have a wonderful weekend ladies, i only have internet access at work so until next tuesday.

Kristee - good luck with your results this afternoon. I hope you get the ok to TTC. You will know when you ready to try and when you are, we are all here to support you :hug:

Klee - have a great weekend :hugs:

Welcome to Kristee and Hindonly, I am also new hear and the ladies have made me feel very welcome! Sorry you find yourself in a position that you need to be here, but also glad you are here to share the roller coaster rides we are all on. I hope your stay here is as short as possible.

Not much news from here at the moment, but just wanted to say hi.

Lol
Sarah

Wow you guys have been chatting today so here goes, lets see if I can remember everything.

Lynn: I think sometimes when we feel overwhelmed, we remove ourselves from the situation (not physically but emotionally) so I am not surprised that you felt a bit out of it at your appointment today. I can't blame you, you had a lot to take in. Good luck with the first jab on Saturday, I am sure that you will be fine, you are a brave brave woman. Oh and you are under strict instructions to have a WONDERFUL holiday, that is not negotioable, make sure you give yourself a bit of a break and spoil yourself a little. I will miss you so make sure you post as soon as you get back on Wednesday.

Mel: Sounds like you have a Melbournian buddy in Klee, that is great if you can support eachother at the Sids meetings. I know what you mean about public hospital staff being overworked and underpaid but it is just so sad that people who are really in need care can't afford to be treated now and have to wait around. Oh and smarty pants, you are so sure that Lil Spring has a willy but I know you and I am not going to be tripped up you naughty thing. Don't worry, almost half way to finding out...nice try though.

Kristee: sounds like you are getting the tests that you need. I hope you got good results this arvo. When you get a chance pop in and let us know how you are going.

Klee: You probably won't see this until you are back at work on Tuesday but when to start TTC question is one that comes up often. I had a pretty straightforward vaginal birth ( well in the circumstances anyway) with no tearing, cuts or grazes so DH and I started TTC as soon as my bleeding stopped which was about 4 weeks. To be honest, I don't know how we started so soon but I think the urge to have an earth baby just takes over. So for us it was fairly quick. Everyone is totally different and it takes different amounts of time for your body and cycles to go back to normal. I got AF 6 weeks to the day after losing Harry then had two cycles and fell on the third. If you are having mixed emotions about TTC that is totally normal, I cried so many times because I felt I was dishonering Harry. But that isn't the case, he knows I love him and that he will always bee my first born. Good luck with the decision.

Hindonly: I hope you and your DD had a great day at Crazy Critters, I can't wait to be a mum of an earth baby and do those sort of things. I am glad that you are feeling welcome, we are all here for you so share as little or as much as you feel you want to.

Deb: How are you feeling today? It might be a stupid question but do you continue taking Clomid during the TWW or do you stop after O? I hope that you are feel happy and that the TWW is just flying by.

Well I am looking so forward to this weekend. DH is coming home and it is his B'day on Sunday. I just did the shopping for the weekend and got goodies. We are going out to dinner and a movie on Saturday night and I am making Bacon, Eggs and Hashbrowns for Breaky on Sunday (his favourties) I am also making a double layered chocolate cake with freash whipped cream and Flake chocolate bar sprinkled all over it. Trust me, it is going to be a fat weekend in this house. I just love him so much so I can't wait to spoil him.

Then I have my 19 week scan next Tuesday which is going to have sensational results (see positive thinking) and then I drive to Canberra for Anzac day, I am staying there for two nights and driving back on Thursday so I only have to work two days next week YIPPIE!!! I really feel like I need the break. I can't wait.

Anyway, I haven't even thought about dinner yet so I think it will be an orange and a peanut butter sanger. Just what every pregnant woman needs (not)

To everyone I have missed, sending you huge huggles.

Take care
Luv Spring

Hey there everyone - I so hate working, I miss out on so much here during the day!

Klee - Wow I didnt realise you were from Melbourne - It would be nice to meet up at the meeting. I dont know why I am nervous, I just am. How have you found the counselling they provide over the phone and the 1 on 1's? I havent had any counselling since I had Nicholas, I did have 2 visits with a psych but they werent helpful (felt like she watched the clock the whole time and billed me $265 for it). I think it will be really helpful to go to these meetings, and to know that you would be there would make is so much easier. Re TCC - Lynn is right, it is such a personal decision and I believe you will know when the time is right for you and your hubbie. You may say no today and wake up tomorrow and think yes, but also you may not wake up for a while saying yes. Personally for me it was immediate, I started TTC as soon as I could (as Lynn said, as soon as bleeding stopped). But then, I am still not pregnant and it has felt like an extremely long journey so far. Maybe sit down and have a long think, and talk with DH, about what you want and how you feel right now and what your heart tells you. Whatever you decide, the time will be right for you if and when you start. If you need time to "heal" a little you should take that time. For me the healing can begin once I have a healthy baby in my arms, however I know others feel they need to take that time to sort through their feelings. The drs I found have differing opinions, some say wait 12 months, others say try straight away. One thing I would like to say to you is that dont let the thoughts enter your head that you are being disloyal to Phoebe if you do want to start sooner rather than later - I only say that because I know each and every one of us here have had those thoughts and I imagine you will as well. All Phoebe would want for you and her daddy is for you to do what you need to do to make you happy, if that happens to be having another baby then that is what she would want. You will never replace her, you will be having your 2nd child - Phoebe will always be your first born :hug:

Lynn - Cant believe you are going tomorrow, I will miss reading your posts :( BUT... I hope you have a really lovely time. As Klee said, take some time for you and have some fun if you can, you deserve it. Hope to speak to you on MSN tonight but if not - travel safely and dont even think about us while your away :D Oh, and you will be back well and truly before I would get any good news. AF is not due til the Monday after you get back. Good luck with all of your injections, I know it will be tough but you are a tough cookie and will get through it cause you know the outcome - :crossfingers: we ALL (incl. Deb) get BFP's in the next few weeks - how awesome would that be!

Deb - We do have irrational thoughts though, like the other week when a lady at work left on maternity leave I thought to myself hmmm dont count your chickens before they're hatched - admittedly it was partly sour grapes but I really do believe you just never know what is waiting around the corner now. I know it is too early for symptoms but I constantly have this feeling that last couple of months that it is going to be a very long road for me - I really hope I am wrong but only time will tell.

Kristee - How were your results? Its well and truly past 4.30 now so spill...

Hindonly - I know what you mean by being ready now, I have had that feeling ever since I was pregnant with Nicholas and I found out 26 Jan last year so its 15 months and counting now... I had a baby, but dont have one iykwim. I hope you get a BFP soon too, I hope we all do!

Spring - Hope they havent worked you too hard today, lil Spring will get really mad at them!

Tommysmum - Hope your doing ok, how are you feeling? Still got m/s? Hope it hasnt gotten any worse.

Hi to everyone else.

Other than my personals I dont have much to say tonight. I made an appointment to have all my hair chopped off (well about 5 inches or so anyway) cause I am sick of being "me" - I need a change!

Love Mel

Hey Spring - missed your post (again LOL)...

Cant blame a girl for trying right? :redface:

Your weekend sounds wonderful - you wouldnt mind sending me down a slice of that cake would ya? ;) YUUUUUUUUM! Do you know what movie you are going to see? There are a few good ones coming out in the near future - Absolutely cannot wait for the Simpsons Movie (see big kid I tell ya).

Peanut butter sandwiches are ok - especially combined with fruit! So enjoy :)

Sorry Sarah - just realised I missed you post too - I am so hopeless :rolleyes:

Hope you are doing well :hug:

Lynn: Big big hugs for you and have a beautiful holiday! Those injections will be fine - I wish I was close (if you were coming to the Sunshine Coast instead of Gold Coast I could have helped! ;)) It will be yucky the first few times but it's all over in a flash. I know it's not pleasant or optimal but it is going to help bring an Earth Baby into your life. Take good care and I hope when you get back there is news of more BfP's in here! Enjoy the Gold Coast!

Spring: The weekend sounds lovely and the break in Canberra too. I am glad you are getting away. That 19 week scan is going to be SENSATIONAL!!!!! Clomid is taken for only 5 days of your cycle prior to ovulation cd2-cd6 or cd 3 to cd 7 this month I took it cd5 - cd9. The affects of the clomid last for about 2 weeks after the last doseage though and sometimes a bit longer! I am still having flushes now and then... :redface:!!!

Sarah: Good to see you pop in again my love... :hugs:

Mel: I hope that you are wrong too... :hug: Positive thoughts okay! If we don't get a bfp this month it's just around the corner.

Well I had a busy day yesterday. I had my hair cut and coloured yesterday afternoon with 3 kids in tow arggghhhh it wasn't a relaxing experience but my hairdresser is a darling so it's always fine. The kids got their hair done too. (cut not coloured ;)) Then last night a girlfriend and I went to a wine and cheese night at a gorgeous homewares shop here in town. I spent toooo much! But that's okay - we had a lovely time!
Today is busy too with a meeting for me this morning then I am taking the kids to the Plaza at the coast for lunch and a browse (they love the big shopping centre beingfrom the country!). So I will pop back this afternoon. Have a lovely day everyone!

Hi girls,
KLEE it is a great name isn't it, although i get sick of having to tell everyone how it is spelt!! By the way how do you spell yours?
SPRING that sounds like a totally delicious cake would you mind sending some this way?? Sounds like your DH is going to be totally spoilt!! It all sounds so lovely what you have planned, let us all know how it goes.
Your 19wk scan is going to be absolutely perfect!!!!
Yah on the only having to work two days next week. Sounds like you are going to be very busy, just make sure you have fun!!! It sounds great.

Well all my BT results came back fine so i am can start ttc as soon as i feel ready!
Well i have been doing some serious thinking today. This cycle i am just going to take it as it comes, and towards my FS appointment i think i am going to be ready to actively ttc again. I have decided if i put it off i am not going to get what i want soon, having saying that i will not actively ttc unless emotionally i can take it. DH is ready to start ttc right away. We have had a blue over that! I said that it was alright for him as it wasn't his body that has just been through a lot....doesn't he even want to grieve?? Obviously a baby doesn't mean much to him until it is born alive. I just found that so hurtful that he didn't even ask me whether i thought i could, he just expected me to be ready straight away. :wall:

Other than that there is nothing exciting happening here.
LOL

Take care everyone
and big hugs to all.

Good Evening Everyone,
This is a flying visit. I have had a big day and one little 6 year old is now the proud owner of new footy boots!
I have friends coming for lunch tomorrow so I am cooking (I am crazy it's my bed time!) now as I have been out all day.
I will pop back tomorrow evening...

Kristee: Great to hear your results are all normal - it's wonderful that your FBC is normal after the large blood loss you described. You must be eating well and resting up to have such a great result. Good on you!

I have a friend in the field in Wagga who I was speaking to today. She mentioned that the obs you are going to see isn't a FS but just an obstetrician. It might be worthwhile if you feel you need to see a FS that you contact either Trixie Rasmusen or Scott Giltrap - they visit Wagga from Albury and they both are fertility specialists. While obstetrician/gynaes can do basic fertility work it's worthwhile if you feel fertility is a problem to see a specialist in the area. I hope that helps.