I was 37 weeks along when she was stillborn. There were no abnormalities that they could see, but the Mayo Hospital thinks that since we have weak heart issues in the family, that her heart most likely just stopped working. They're still doing tests on the placenta to see if there are any issues, and I feel comforted since it's the leading specialist in the country doing them.
As for a face to face support, I have a very strong family net, and I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist, although I'll probably be changing it since I'm not very comfortable with him.
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Everything you have written is something that I could have written myself. What you are feeling and doing is so normal. We have all been through it and continue to go through the processes of grieving. Anger is one of the stages and I know that I went through that stage many times.
Like the other girls have said, I too felt guilt when we started TTC again. I would tell Cooper that we weren't replacing him, we never could. We just needed his brother or sister in our arms.
I hope you find some answers as to why you lost your daughter. Be kind to yourself you are in the early raw stages of grieving. Surround yourself with loving and caring people and continue to talk to us, the people that know how you are feeling without you even saying anything at all. We are here for you.
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