Gosh, I don't know where to start with this post so forgive me if this is all a bit disjointed.

DP and I would like another child (our first is 9 months old) but I am REALLY scared of doing so because I suffered badly last time with an unstable pelvis (SPD). I am trying to do as much research as possible but time is also running out because I am 39 so obviously I can't dilly dally for too long.

I know next time around I could manage my SPD much better throughout the pregnancy by doing clinical pilates but I am scared that I will end up in a wheelchair (this is quite possible with SPD) after the birth with a toddler and a baby to look after. I have no support network other than DP and I have been told it is difficult to qualify for in-home support.

One of the mistakes I made last time is believing health professionals who told me that it usually goes away as soon as you have the baby or soon afterwards. In my case, it was extremely bad for six months post-birth which meant that I could literally only walk for five minutes, standing was painful and even now, nine months after, rolling over in bed is difficult, carrying my DD is hard and bending down is uncomfortable. So basically I was housebound for six months.

I think the severity of my SPD may have been exacerbated by the type of birth I had last time as well as the fact that I could have managed the condition better while pregnant.

Basically, after a very long labour and 7 hours sleep in 3 days with a posterior baby, I had an epidural. Obviously that meant when it came to pushing, I was in the worst possible flat on the back position and the midwives got me to pull my knees back up to my chest with my arms whilst pushing. I did this for 2.5 hours with no success and ultimately DD was delivered with forceps.

I had no problem (emotionally) with any of this at the time but from what I've since read, this would have been very bad for my SPD and could explain why it has taken so long to recover. It's advised that women with SPD should not be put in positions that REALLY force apart their hips and that before labour you should measure how far you can part your legs comfortably with a piece of string and then take that to the hospital with you.

So ... I guess what I'm asking is:

a) do you agree that those circumstances could have contributed to the severity of my SPD post-birth
b) what would you advise in terms of birth position if you were my birth attendant and IF I chose to have an epidural again (obviously I would be closely following the Spinning Babies website advice to avoid a posterior position and support from a doula would make it much less likely that I would have an epidural anyway)