Do I need a doula?

[BekZ]

Hello Ladies,

Do I really need to have a doula? This will be my 3rd birth and I have thought about having a doula present but I don't know if I really need one. My last birth was very short and I handled most it quite well by myself. Although looking back there were little things that I missed out on for instance, it would have been nice to have someone get me a drink, help me get on the bed to actually birth.

Plus after DD's birth I had surgery and needed to recover but DH had to run home to DD1 so I missed out on having a shower until the next day. I had no one to hold bub so that I could get myself together.

The sticking point for me is that I like to do everything myself and I get really embaressed if I have a to rely on others..Even whilst in labour I find it hard to let others comfort me so I am not sure how much support I would actually let someone give me. I am that bad that I apoligise for making too much noise!!! Am I making sense?

[amberj]

Hm, I think doulas are absolutely wonderful, but you definately need someone you can be relaxed around so you can accept their help. Otherwise it will possibly end up being more stressful on you as you feel awkward with someone else helping you (I know this feeling....I feel a bit guilty about someone else helping me).

If you think you can get past being uncomfortable about the help, I would say absolutely go for it. A doula is not only there for emotional support (which it sounds like you have covered), but practical help as well- which with two other kids I am very sure you could use!

Anyhow, that's just my experience with a doula- an actual doula could probably answer you better!

[SamiH]

I jsut had a doula for the first time for my 3rd baby - WOW what a difference. I would never do it by myself again - if there was an again!! ....

I remember when she was giving me water inbetween some big contractions and I was polite and kept saying thank you after each sip - she very firmly told me to stop thanking her cos I was doing all the work - it was great not to worry about hubby, getting my water, telling hubby heat pack duty etc - it was just all magically done for me.

I had a beautiful labour and natural birth

[Tanya]

Bek, even a student doula... then it will have little if no cost.... sounds like you have a lot to offer as well

[BekZ]

Thanks Ladies for your response. I was considering a student doula Tanya.

I actually had a trainee paramedic present at DD1's birth and she was great with taking photos etc. Plus it was the first birth she had ever seen and it blew her mind away.

[Liz]

BekZ - you would get to know your doula before the birth, so it wouldn't be a stranger coming in with you. I think it's a great idea, and I'd probably consider one myself if there's a next time. Not that anything was wrong with my previous births, but I'm not inclined to be active, I have no inclination to get up and moving when I'm in labour, nor to use the shower or anything! So I think if I had a doula supporting me I might be more encouraged to get up and moving.

[Tylersmumdoula]

Hi Bek

As a student Doula offering a free service in order to complete my training I'd be happy to have a chat with you! think you've almost answered your own question i.e. would be nice to have someone get you a drink, support you post birth when hubby has to whiz off and take care of the other children - plus you'll probably find that you'll get more out of the Doula experience than you bargained on!!

There must be a reason you first thought of having a Doula, and even if it is as simple as having someone to get you a glass of water, then it's worthwhile! It's all extra support for you whilst you're doing the most important job of all.

As part of my studying I've been reflecting on whether I would use a Doula at my next birth - particuarly as, like you, my first was so straightforward. I've come to the conclusion that yes, I would, particularly if I were birthing in the hospital with no continuity of care from one particular midwife. Also, if I chose to birth at home (which I probably would) I would like a Doula alongside the midwife to help share the support load.

Hope this helps. You are most welcome to email me on clairenceh@hotmail.com.

[BekZ]

Liz - I understand you motivation to have a support person that will encourage you to try different labouring positions etc. I found at my antenatal courses that the hospital told us all about different birthing positions and aids but when it came down to the actual birth nothing was available to use or it just wasn't offered.Maybe a doula would be on her/his toes enough to demand or request aids well in advance etc.

[BekZ]

Well I just asked DH about having a doula and he got so offened that I thought that he wasn't good enough support in previous births...typical

[Liz]

LOL. Maybe we need to ask if 'we' can have a doula to support 'us' during the labour.. so they think the doula is for them too. haha.

[BekZ]

I have tried that one Liz...I just need to work on him

[buliej]

My sister had a doula for her first birth, and was considering not having one for her second (she loved the doula, but was looking to save money) and her DH refused to go doula-less! He's a fantastic, supportive guy, but still loved having "an expert" around who knew way more than he did. He also felt it left him free to just hold her hand if that's what she wanted and do other things for her without stressing.

[Ilithyia]

Hi there!

I hope you don't mind that I add my 2 cents worth!

I think that you and your husband need to sit down and work out what exactly it is that you both think you would want for the labour and birth. By this I mean, do you think that the services of a Doula would benefit the both of you? Or do you think that you and your husband could work well enough together to "satisfy" the needs/wants that you have for the labour and birth.

I'm not sure that if you know of the satistics on having a Doula or not but I'll give you a few of them:

Studies have shown the use of a doula during labour and birth can have many beneficial effects. A meta ?analysis of twelve trials (including data from a wide variety of medical, cultural and economic settings) showed that the presence of a doula resulted in:

Benefits During Birth:

• 51% reduction in the caesarean rate
• Reduction in length of labour (by an average of 98 minutes)
• 16% reduction in epidural requests
• 71% reduction in oxytocin use
• 35% reduction in analgesia (pain medication) use
• 57% reduction in forceps/vacuum deliveries

Long term benefits include:

• Improved success with breastfeeding
• Increased time with baby and easier bonding
• Increased maternal satisfaction with birth experience
• Reduced postpartum depression

Now I guess you and your husband have to decided whether those benefits, will benefit you.

Personally, for any future births (which will also be my 3'rd and subsequent), I intend on having a Doula. And this is not just because I am a Doula myself. I went doula-less for my first 2 and coped quite well. However, during some reflection, I realised how much I actually missed out on by not having a Doula. Without taking away any credit owed to my parter and mum, I think the knoweledge and support of a Doula would have benefited me emmensely.

I wish you all the best on your search. I hope my post has made your decision that bit easier.

Also, there is plenty of info out there on Dads and Doula's if you are really worried about your husband being offended. I guess the main thing is to reassure if that a Doula, in no way, takes his place or presence at the birth.

Good luck!

[BekZ]

Sara - Thanks for your information. My DH and I actually make a pretty good team in the birthing department. He has been amazing support for both girls. I have been thinking really hard about this and I feel that I need more support in the hours and days following birth. I will have 2 little ones to come home to and I really want to have a rest and get to know my new bub without having to be called up for duty asap for my other kids. Not that I don't want to see them but..

Last time DH and I had little support post birth and it took me ages to recover. I literally did not sleep for 3 days after DD birth nor did I get a shower for 24 hours afterwards. Therefore my milk did not come in for 5 days and I had a very hungry crying bub on my hands and I had anemia.

On the other hand I would love a doula present to talk me through labour and my labouring choices.

[Ilithyia]

Its great to read that your DH provides the support that you need.

Those first few week with a newborn are very hectic and often a lot of sleep is lost. I'm sure that with a 3'rd bub things will be a tad more hectic.

Most Doula's offer a Postpartum service. There are also some PP Doula's. These Doula's are there specifically to help with whatever you want. Now that can be from helping you with breastfeeding, bathing etc. Right through to making some meals to freeze, doing a load of washing, entertaining your other children. These roles vary from doula to doula.

As I said in my last post, I guess you just need to decide if you think you will benefit more from a "full package" (which often includes antental support, birth support and postpartum support), just antenatal support (which often includes birth "preparation", birth prefence guide assistance etc) or just postnatal support.

Maybe you should organise to meet with a Doula and have a chat about her roles. You might find that you automatically "gell" with this particular Doula. This might also help you decide which type of service you think you'll need. You might also find that a Doula is not something you do need and that you'll be fine without one.

Your in Logan, which I am pretty sure is a suburb of Brisbane right? There are PLENTY of Doula's in the Brisbane region.

Again, I wish you all the best.