SiarasMummy, listening to you describ your birth it is pretty clear that you have suffered birth trauma. Have you ever had a chance to debrief and have your story achnowledged and your experience validated? That may be really helpful for you before you approach this birth. You will have to deal with your fears at some point and it would probably be better for you to do that prior to birth rather than in labour. Doulas can be great at helping you to have the kind of birth that you want and supporting all of the poepl in your birth team because they have seenit all before and they know it isn't about them but it is about you and your hubby and mum all come out of the experience that matters. When you are in labour it is very difficult to advocate for yourself even if you arn't naive because hopefully you are comfortable enough to go to 'that' place whilst in labour. Dads are lovely but to be honest they are men and they are aware of different things than women are. They can be VERY supportive(men that it) but they don't always anticipate the same things that a woman might. I can't speak for whether a student MW would be helpful or not. The fact that you have ahd a bad experience with one type of student may mean you are better off being looked after by a doula who has experience and can support you the way you want to be supported.

XX Bella