Is there any point having a doula..

[BellyBelly]

FJ, until you have had a doula you wont get what it's all about. This was one complaint of the very many positive that have been on BB. Especially the first time mums get loads of benefit from it - by now you would be more confident and know what to expect... but I wouldn't get flowers, wine, cards and loads of other gifts if I did an average job as a doula. You don't know til you have a doula. You have a student so it will be a little different, if you just want to help her qualify for the birth components but have expectations of an experienced doula then you may end up disappointed. My trainee births were nothing like the births now, when I have loads more confidence, experience to call upon etc.

Working in the hospital system is like a minefield. You have to tread carefully or we'll end up like Ireland where they are trying to get doulas out of the birth room. It's a fine art the whole negotiation thing and I don't expect an inexperienced doula to have mastered that.

[Rouge]

With reference to that quote... YES THEY CAN! And they do Kelly did an awesome job and was more than happy to assert my preferences when I couldn't or Marc and I were too focused on our birth.

Honestly Ray I think you should have a doula, I honestly believe even if one does have their own private midwife a doula it still beneficial.

[*Efjay*]

Kelly Im not trying to knock you or others who are Doula's, I do get that till I have had one I wont fully understand.

But it sounds to me that people are expected to just accpet that there is a rift between midwifes & doula's so the doula is only going to tell you how to rock the boat & not do it for you. I may be totally off the mark but from all of the things I have read here on BB & on websites that Doula's have promoting their services I was under the impression that this was part of the service the couple is paying for.
The labouring couple should be able to get on with giving birth while the Doula is the voice of reason. I realise that one would need to be tactful in their approach and being the voice to say to the couple, lets take a moment to discuss this in private is great. But what happens when neither are in the right frame of mind to do this. This is where I thought the Doula steps in and says This is what is on the birth plan, this is what was discussed prior to labour, this is what my client wants/doesn't want in this situation.

[Rouge]

I don't understand though, I know plenty of doula's that rock the boat. And I never saw any tension between Kelly & my midwives (even the 1 fiesty one we had). I think too though if Kelly had gone all gung ho and started making demands when she could have just made our intentions known without aggression I would have been uncomfortable (but she knew when to say things and how to say them). It really is an art to know what to say and when to say it but I don't think every doula just sits in the corner and quietly whispers into the clients ear "do this..."

Maybe the quote means in an aggressive way? I don't know the context so I'm not 100% sure about this quote. But I don't think all doula's are not as involved with representing their client to the hospital staff.

[meow]

You know, the other thread made me contemplate the role our doula (the fabbo Kelly) had at the birth of my son.

For us the major reason to have her was insurance. If you are going through the hospital system (we went to a birth centre) there will be a million times you may not fit into the 'rules' and be risked out of the care model you have chosen. I wanted a doula with us if we ended up being transferred and my fabulous midwife care couldn't follow. This in itself made me a lot calmer in the lead up to the labour. As Kelly knows, I became very anxious about the labour becoming over medicalised and she was great at putting me at ease that I could achieve the birth I wanted no matter where I ended up doing it.

For us, the birth went well. I loved my midwife and she did a lot to help us achieve the birth I wanted even when teetering on the edge of having to be transferred. But I do think our wonderful doula helped- her presence alone showed our midwife we were serious and she also strengthened the resolve of everyone in the room that I didn't want interventions when it was being suggested I may need the vacuum to get my baby out. The extra persistence she gave helped me remember wanted and I think it reminded my midwife to keep helping me get there.

Then after the birth I struggled majorally with BFing. She quietly pointed us in the right direction and with a wonderful lactation consultant all our problems were fixed- which wasn't happening with the public lactation advice I was receiving. She also visited us at home for a birth debrief- rather different to the birthed and forgotten treatment I received from the midwives.

So, do I think there a point to having a doula when receiving public midwife care? YES!

[amberj]

I would ABSOLUTELY recommend having a doula, even in caseload. My experience was that the midwives (who were great) and my doula had two different roles. The midwives were very supportive, but were focussed on the 'medical' side of things. My doula was all about emotionally supporting me in a very special way. I too was very concerned they would clash, but they worked great together, complimenting one another really.

I would have my doula again in a second!

[maz]

Quote RAY RAY

no one reminded me of things I'd forgoten about, when I was in nof it state to remember, and DH and my mum (my other support person) were too emotionally involved to detach themselves enough to be thinking about it either.

I think you answered your own question there babe.

[Claire]

My midwife, Jane Palmer and doula, Cara worked wonderfully together to support me birthing my son. There was always a significant person holding each of my hands telling me the things I needed to hear. It also freed my midwife to make the observations she needed whilst I was still being supported. If I was birthing in hospital I would use a doula again definitely.

[visitor1]

Most definately have one....i am!