Kelly Im not trying to knock you or others who are Doula's, I do get that till I have had one I wont fully understand.
But it sounds to me that people are expected to just accpet that there is a rift between midwifes & doula's so the doula is only going to tell you how to rock the boat & not do it for you. I may be totally off the mark but from all of the things I have read here on BB & on websites that Doula's have promoting their services I was under the impression that this was part of the service the couple is paying for.
The labouring couple should be able to get on with giving birth while the Doula is the voice of reason. I realise that one would need to be tactful in their approach and being the voice to say to the couple, lets take a moment to discuss this in private is great. But what happens when neither are in the right frame of mind to do this. This is where I thought the Doula steps in and says This is what is on the birth plan, this is what was discussed prior to labour, this is what my client wants/doesn't want in this situation.
I don't understand though, I know plenty of doula's that rock the boat. And I never saw any tension between Kelly & my midwives (even the 1 fiesty one we had). I think too though if Kelly had gone all gung ho and started making demands when she could have just made our intentions known without aggression I would have been uncomfortable (but she knew when to say things and how to say them). It really is an art to know what to say and when to say it but I don't think every doula just sits in the corner and quietly whispers into the clients ear "do this..."
Maybe the quote means in an aggressive way? I don't know the context so I'm not 100% sure about this quote. But I don't think all doula's are not as involved with representing their client to the hospital staff.
You know, the other thread made me contemplate the role our doula (the fabbo Kelly) had at the birth of my son.
For us the major reason to have her was insurance. If you are going through the hospital system (we went to a birth centre) there will be a million times you may not fit into the 'rules' and be risked out of the care model you have chosen. I wanted a doula with us if we ended up being transferred and my fabulous midwife care couldn't follow. This in itself made me a lot calmer in the lead up to the labour. As Kelly knows, I became very anxious about the labour becoming over medicalised and she was great at putting me at ease that I could achieve the birth I wanted no matter where I ended up doing it.
For us, the birth went well. I loved my midwife and she did a lot to help us achieve the birth I wanted even when teetering on the edge of having to be transferred. But I do think our wonderful doula helped- her presence alone showed our midwife we were serious and she also strengthened the resolve of everyone in the room that I didn't want interventions when it was being suggested I may need the vacuum to get my baby out. The extra persistence she gave helped me remember wanted and I think it reminded my midwife to keep helping me get there.
Then after the birth I struggled majorally with BFing. She quietly pointed us in the right direction and with a wonderful lactation consultant all our problems were fixed- which wasn't happening with the public lactation advice I was receiving. She also visited us at home for a birth debrief- rather different to the birthed and forgotten treatment I received from the midwives.
So, do I think there a point to having a doula when receiving public midwife care? YES!
I would ABSOLUTELY recommend having a doula, even in caseload. My experience was that the midwives (who were great) and my doula had two different roles. The midwives were very supportive, but were focussed on the 'medical' side of things. My doula was all about emotionally supporting me in a very special way. I too was very concerned they would clash, but they worked great together, complimenting one another really.
no one reminded me of things I'd forgoten about, when I was in nof it state to remember, and DH and my mum (my other support person) were too emotionally involved to detach themselves enough to be thinking about it either.
I think you answered your own question there babe.
My midwife, Jane Palmer and doula, Cara worked wonderfully together to support me birthing my son. There was always a significant person holding each of my hands telling me the things I needed to hear. It also freed my midwife to make the observations she needed whilst I was still being supported. If I was birthing in hospital I would use a doula again definitely.
Hope you don't mind me popping in but just wanted to give a voice from a midwife perspective. I have been involved in births with doula's and there has been no conflict at all. To me, personally, a doula is a support person for the woman and is no different to some women having their mum or friend there. We midwifes aren't horrible creatures who think of a doula as someone to butt heads with or they are treading on our toes. I always follow a birth plan the best I possibly can. We are all in the birth suite together to give the labouring woman and her partner the birth they want.
A doula is a fantastic idea to give you the support you want and also to have someone in with you who knows all of your wishes and is also someone you are comfortable with if a decision needs to be made during your labour when you aren't in your normal frame of mind. Please don't forget that a midwife is there to help you too. Talk to them and let them know.
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