oh hun *hugs* that sounds so stressful. I don't know any answers, other than to say it doesn't sound like the kind of community I'd want to be rushing to join. (the congregation, not the Church). Is it worth trying other congregations again? I know you said you wouldn't be comfortable, but it doesn't sound too comfortable (or supportive) with this one. I'm not a church goer, so I don't know the 'rules' but I couldn't read and not post xxxx I hope you find some support, comfort and answers soon xxx