We had one, poem and all and out of our nearly 100 guests only one couple choose to give a present instead of money.
Ive been to plenty of wedding lately and they have all had them(wishing wells and poems)
I think its a personal choice i wouldnt mind either wishing well or gift registary I think its better (easier) than picking a gift
Yes we had a wishing well, we had been together for 10 years and living together for 7-8 or something like that, we had everything so it was an obvious and easy choice for us to have one. we had poem explaining it all, and we sent out envelopes with the invites they could remain anonymous. I think it not only saves people thinking of what to buy but it saves getting things you already have. Only one person brought us a gift and it was a complete dinner set, which looks good but is impractacle for us as it has gold on it and you cant put it into microwave.
I dont think its tacky and I have been to many weddings lately with wishing wells. Maybe the people who think its tacky are having $30,000 weddings, we paid for our wedding ourselves and the wishing well certainly took the sting out of the end total and our wedding cost no where near the $30,000 mark.
We had a wishing well, people were coming from all over so it would have been unrealistic to expect them to lug toasters etc around in their luggage. We brought this little old chest thing, it looked like a treasure chest, and people just put money in that. It was pretty funky actually We used the money for our honeymoon and it was really lovely.
Plus DH and I had been together for a few years and had a habit of having massive garage sales and moving to new states/countries every year, so anything tanglible they gave us would probably have been sold for $10 later that year. We didn't put that in the invite though!
I've only been to one wedding where there wasn't a wishing well and TBH I really freaked out about what to get them. Wishing well is the norm for me. No-one else seemed at all surprised or offended.
Just thinking about how much work it would be to set up a gift registry, I dont think I could have gotten DH to come with me! It would have been a gift registry of shoes, lol.
We had one as well for our wedding in 2005. We went to 8 weddings in the space of 18 months and all of them had wishing wells. I don't find them offensive at all. Afterall, it is the bride and grooms day, so shouldn't the guests be giving a present that the bride and groom want, not what the guest wants them to have.
We had a wishing well at our wedding 7 years ago. We'd only just bought a house 9months prior (with a combined house warming and engagement party shortly after) and we'd already been living together for 2.5years, so had everything small that we would need. So it made sense to do the wishing well as then we could buy something bigger, which we ended up buying a bedroom suite.
We had a nice poem that covered that we'd lived together for many years and got everything we need and that an anonymous donation would be easier you them and us. We printed this poem on an envelope and included it with the invite. This way noone would feel obligated to give us too much- which we didn't want.
Our guests were pretty much my family and a few of DH's- people we saw regularly anyway so they all understood why we did it that way and a couple of people still wanted to buy us presents anyway and that was ok (funnily enough we got a couple of bed sheets sets).
So i don't think its tacky, i guess it just depends on how you word the poem the most and i think leaving it anonymous helps too.
We had a wishing well for our wedding 5 years ago. We didn't live together before getting married, but DH had moved out of home at 18 so pretty much had everything. We were given a number of gifts for our engagement that I still haven't used and didn't want to end up with more. A gift registry wasn't right as we didn't 'need' anything. The house we bought needed (actually still needs) quite a bit of light reno work. In the end, the money paid for a new coat of paint as well as a washer and dryer.
I had one too, we got married 3 years ago. I did the poem thing, worded for it to be optional. A couple of people got us gifts, they were really nice ones too. But the majority contributed to the wishing well. These days I think they're the norm
We had one for our wedding back in 2000. We were living in Melbourne, but having the wedding in Tassie, so the thought of getting back home a load of gifts was just over whelming. Also many people did not know what we needed or our taste in home deco, so many would have been buying blind. We probably could have done a registry at Myer, so they could pick in Tas, but the Melbourne store dealt with it. In the end I thought picking blind off a register is no different to giving what amount the felt was appropriate. If anything since our wedding and having to deal with registers for other weddings, I find registers tacky, not giving money. Why, oh why, put a toilet roll holder on a registry?!?!?
Surprisingly all guests were gave money, my father gave a Myer gift voucher. There were a number of people who said it was a great idea and loved giving cash instead of a gift. I think one (now ex friend) was miffed, but she had a rod up her behind anyway and was rude about the fact we were getting married, rather than eloping, so opinion did not matter. Honestly I expected half of the guests to still give gift.
I think they are fine however I don't know that I like the idea of a wishing well for all occasions. I have seen them done for the engagment party then the wedding also, I seem to think that is a little bit rude.
I love buying a present however sometimes a wishing well is so much better esp. if the money is to go towards whitegoods or a holiday, rather than a heap of little appliances that clog the cupboard.
BellyBelly Member
We used the money for our honeymoon and it was really lovely.
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