it does sound to me like DH is the godfather - and you're a token godmother. i think as far as the ceremony itself goes, you might be excluded a bit, but as the child grows, you can take an active role in their life

i know for at least one of our friends children, the godfather was single but is now married, and although his partner isn't an official "on paper" godparent, she has adapted that role herself and is a big part of her DH"s godson's life (hope that makes sense)