Help me choose my bridesmaid... and more wedding stuff *long*

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Because I can't!

I have been thinking about it for ages, and now that the official count down is on (sort of... 1year 1 day), I really need to choose someone in terms of looking for dresses and the like... because we're on such a tight budget I really want to get things organised asap.

My problem is this, I had chosen my second bridesmaid, I actually hadn't met this person but she was someone I could talk to about anything and I had every confidence she was the best person for it. But for reasons I do not wish to disclose here, other than feeling betrayed I don't believe she will be in my bridal party anymore.

Now, my mum is still bitter that my aunty didn't use any family when she got married, because said Aunty had been included in all four of her two sisters' two weddings. Including her step-daughter as a Junior BM.
I am keeping this in mind because the last thing I want to do is have mum going on about this about me in five years time.
My aunt's are not what I would call close, and my girl cousins will be 15 &14... (oh and 11 who I haven't seen in five years). The older two would be okay except I only want one more bridesmaid, and I am not willing to exclude my best friend because she is like a sister to me. I will be using my baby sisters as my flowergirls so is it reasonable to assume that is acceptable, and will keep her off my back? Or should I have a third?
Alternatively I could use his sister, he could use his brother as a GM but then my brothers will be left out.

I have a few friends I am considering;
1/ I considered using except that she is so anti-marriage that I don't know if I would gain the support I might need from her, IYKWIM. BUT she was such an amazing support to me while pregnant (she did buy my HPT for me ), it's just recently, mostly due to her Honours Thesis, I feel as though I am unimportant and she doesn't have time for me.

2/ This girl was one of my besties in first year, but we have grown so far apart... She also fooled around with an XP she knew I was still sort of with, and things haven't been the same since. When I see her and talk to her I miss her to bits, but other than that it would be no big deal if she were out of my life. I think I'm closer to a no on this one.

3/ One of DF's best friends... I want to build a better relationship with her and I thought this would be a good way to do it, but she just makes me really uneasy. She is so lovely and she would be an awesome person to be there. She is a bit similar to 1/ on the account of being a bit anti-marriage. In fact she was anti-me for a long time and a bit anti-baby too.

4/ This is the one Anthony is encouraging me to choose (and the one I *want* to choose, before i started thinking) because he knows how much she has made me smile of late and he knows that I feel she is more supportive than most of my 'old' friends despite the fact I haven't known her very long. I feel like it's an odd choice because I'm still a bit socially awkward around her, and I don't know, feel somewhat obligated to choose someone I have known longer?



Okay, second problem. Our reception will only cater for forty. We are thinking anyone under six can just share a platter instead of a meal so we can have five more adukts... but my questions is, how do you weed out the numbers to decide who is in and who is out? Is it obligatory to invite partners of the bridal party? How do I choose one friend over another? I know some BellyBwlly girls I would much rather come and have been much more supportive than my uni friends, but how do I escape the critical eye of my friends who get p!ssy because they haven't been invited to the recpetion?
Our plan is to invite everyone who we cant fit into the recpetion to pack a picnic and join us in botanical gardens for lunch the next day, but we're stuck thinking who on earth will travel for the wedding one day and BYO picnic the next? Our conclusion was sort of that if they are like that they don't deserve to be invited to the real recpetion anyway.


In all of that I conclude with why do weddings have to be so freaking expensive? I mean, seriously .

I know some of this didn't exacly pose a question but any ideas/opinions are welcome.