My husband is Greek, but I'm not. I am godmother for a beautiful little girl which we christened and I wouldnt change that for the world. However....
I need some advice.
I did not attend the wedding for her parents, (our relationship was in the early days some years ago, so I didnt attend), and my husband was the best man. I therefore feel that i am godmother by default.
During the ceremony I was not included and basically get the impression that the godmother is not as important as the godfather. Is this true???
Now, my husbands sister is christening her baby boy and their best man turned down christening him, and another friend turned them down, and now they have asked my husband to christen him. I feel as though he has only been asked because we are a financially viable option, no-one else can afford it, so we have been called upon. She hasnt even asked me!! It only reinforces my belief that as the woman, or godmother, i am not important, however, it is acceptable for me to put my hand in my pocket again, and fork out for another christening; the last one cost us over a grand.
Am i unreasonable? Is this 'the way'?? I am accepted into my husbands family and am reliable, have a good job, and take good care of my husband, its not as though i am not good enough, but i get the distinct impression that because im 'the woman', i dont matter, but they have no problem asking me to pay for it. oh, and the sister hasnt even asked me to be godparent, she only asked my husband.
i have been to many greek baptisms - and it's not necessarily YOU that is being shut out - i have been where there has only been a female godparent - but from what i understand, unless there is a very liberal church that is attended, official godparents can, in the eyes of the church, ONLY be Greek. i have been to a number (mum's two best friends are Greek Orthodox) - and it's only in the past few years that a priest (can't remember the exact title in Orthodox church but i think it's priest) at the local Greek Church has said he'd be happy to educate a non orthodox person on becoming godparent.
from the "asking" perspective - i don't believe the parents of the child are supposed to ask! because the expense factor in a greek baptism is so high (as you know, godparents pay for baby outfits - more than one - material or outfit for mum, all the gifts for attendees) - it's supposed to be the parents being honored by someone asking if they can be godparent. this may have changed more recently though.
i don't think they're deliberately excluding YOU - it's just the religios side of things that perhaps dont include you so much kwim? i would be a little wary of the financial viability thing though. it's a decision you and DH (whether you're officially acknowledge as godparent or not) need to discuss. and perhaps you need to discuss with your DH your concerns over being effectively ignored as well - he might be able to come up with ways to include you more...
We didnt ask because it wasnt our place to, they had the best man and another friend and they both turned it down. and its bad enough that she hasnt even spoken to me about being godmother, but only asked my husband. i have seen her heaps since and she hasnt even brought it up. it just seems very rude and i feel very excluded. this, plus we are trying to tidy up bills and ttc with assistance is expensive! we arent in the best of positions atm. it means i have to do overtime just to pay for it. i feel like writing her a cheque and staying home.......
it does sound to me like DH is the godfather - and you're a token godmother. i think as far as the ceremony itself goes, you might be excluded a bit, but as the child grows, you can take an active role in their life
i know for at least one of our friends children, the godfather was single but is now married, and although his partner isn't an official "on paper" godparent, she has adapted that role herself and is a big part of her DH"s godson's life (hope that makes sense)
Greek christenings - im not greek..
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