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Thread: How do I write everything I feel in such a small space?

  1. #1

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    Default How do I write everything I feel in such a small space?

    Geez, writing a "tribute" for my Nan to go in the paper is hard! I'm on a very limited budget, and at $10.20 per line, I'm trying to make it as short as possible. BUT I also want to put in as much as I can

    Here's what I have so far (with line breaks where I think the paper will stick them)
    Nan, nothing can describe the pain we feel
    right now. You were always there for us,
    whether we needed shoes or just a ham
    sandwich. You'd think we were silly for crying,
    but it's all we can do. Thank you for being
    the best Nan ever, and for all the cups of tea.
    We love you forever. Tenielle, Scott, Ianto (dec.) and "Baby".
    It looks too long for my liking, but that's about the shortest I could get it. I want to reword bits, too, but can't work that out I know it's not incredibly important, and I can say all I want at her funeral (there's another headache - I put myself in charge of the photo slideshow and promptly realised I didn't know how to put it on DVD!), but you didn't know her. She collected all the notices in the paper for everyone she was even remotely connected to - sometimes she'd even critique them - so it needs to be perfect for her.



    Heeeeellllllpppp!

    ETA: I wasn't planning to tell everyone I'm pregnant for another couple of weeks, but Nan knew about Cookie and she'd be scandalised if I let a little thing like people not knowing stand in the way of accuracy

    ETA2: I finally got it done, took out quite a bit without compromising what I wanted to say - it went in on Friday
    Last edited by TeniBear; August 22nd, 2010 at 10:09 PM.

  2. #2

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    Teni - so sorry to hear about your Nan passing

    The best thing I found was talking to the person at the paper, having them send me different proofs with different quotes. (Just remember to cancel the proof you don't want)

    To shorten it, maybe:

    Nan, nothing can describe the pain we feel
    right now. You'll think us silly, but all we can do is cry.
    You were always there for us.
    Thank you for being the best Nan ever,
    and for all the cups of tea.
    We love you forever. Tenielle, Scott, Ianto (dec.) and "Baby".
    Also - do check the final quote is correct. I just received a bill for "repagination" 2 weeks later.

    ETA: - just thought of a shorter version:

    Nan, nothing can describe the pain we feel.
    You'll think us silly, but all we can do is cry.
    You were always there for us.
    Thank you for being the best Nan ever,
    and for all the cups of tea.
    We love you forever. Tenielle, Scott, Ianto (dec.) and "Baby".

  3. #3

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    I've just finished my first draft of the eulogy I'll be reading (the funeral's tomorrow, I've only just been able to bring myself to do it...) What does everyone think?

    A lot has been said today about Margaret the wife, Margaret the mother, Margaret the sister and friend. I’m here to tell you about my Nan.

    Nan, who you could talk about anything with. If I ever was home when Mum and Nan were on the phone, it sounded like such everyday things, things I’d wonder “why would they be talking about that?” Once I was a little older, and started talking to Nan on the phone every now and then as well, I knew. It’s what Nan wanted to hear about. She was just as interested in the everyday stuff as she was the extraordinary.

    Nan, who loved her reality TV – and god forbid you call her during Big Brother or Australian Idol! I grew out of both shows, but I had to keep up with the basics at least, because Nan would always ask me what I thought of such-and-such, and "isn’t that little Irish bloke” a good singer?

    Nan, who was a great judge of character. When I got back together with Scott, and subsequently married him, she seemed happiest of all. She’d always liked him, and told me off when we broke up originally.

    Nan, who would always have a full spread of food – or at least ham rolls – no matter if you gave her no notice you were coming over. You could drop in after not seeing her for a month, and it would be like you were expected. Hot dogs or dim sims cooking on the stove, Nan making you cups of tea (when you really wanted some sarsaparilla) And on that note – who, out of all the grandchildren here, is not addicted to sweet tea and sarsaparilla now because of Nan? Cream, sugar, and jam sandwiches? Sticking your finger in the sugar bowl?

    Nan, who would tell me off if I wasn’t wearing socks, shoes, and a warm jacket if I went over her place. Even in the middle of summer, if I walked in barefoot, she’d force shoes on me.

    Nan, who was always just there. This past week has been so strange – Mum didn’t have her daily phone call over a cup of coffee. When we walked into Nan and Pa’s house, Nan wasn’t bustling around the kitchen. We’ve all just been lost.

    Nan, who when my son died and then was born, visited us in the hospital and willingly overlooked the fact he was gone. He wasn’t just a cruel statistic to her. He kissed his little cheeks, stroked his feet, and told him how beautiful he was. She didn’t care that he’d never open his eyes and laugh at her. She looked at her great-grandson and smiled at him rather than cry like so many others have done. I’m comforted by the fact that they’re together now, wherever that may be.

    Nan, who found out I was pregnant again and immediately ran out to buy a heap of baby stuff. And bringing everything back to the beginning... Nan, who taught my Mum how to be a good mum. When people told mum she was “spoiling” me as a baby, Nan was the one holding her hand and telling her she was doing a good job.

    For all of these things I am grateful. I may have never realised it until this week, but I am a better person for having been her granddaughter. I will someday be a Nan my grandkids can talk to, who will give them sweet tea and sarsaparilla. I’ll be the mum holding my daughters’ hands as they learn how to be mothers themselves. And I’ll never stop telling my family I love them. Nan never did.

  4. #4

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    That's beautiful Teni.

  5. #5

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    I'm not sure on feedback- apart from you have me crying and I wish I could have known your Nan too

  6. #6

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    Your eulogy is beautiful and heartfelt and I wouldn't change a thing

    I'm sorry for the loss of your wonderful Nan. I sometimes think it's harder when we are older when our grandparents die, as we have got so used to the fact that they are always around that we expect they will be with us forever!

    My thoughts are with you at this time.

  7. #7

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    Tenibear, your Eulogy is beautiful.
    It has me in floods of tears a mixture of happy tears that such beautiful people exist, of hope that one day my family may say things so lovely about me, and sadness that you have lost such a source of beautiful strength.
    AS for the newspaper notice I have recently been stung by the hideous cost. I think if you can, even if it takes a few weeks to financially recover you need to put the words you want. Its a one off cost and it seems you are like me, and words mean a lot.
    She might not be able to read them but they are a beautiful public tribute to her. If finances can't stretch at all, perhaps you could put some words in the funeral proceedings. or write a poem and throw it into the grave (if she is being buried) or put it in the coffin (if possible)
    RIP your lovely Nan, and how lovely that her legacy is hugs and "I love you's"
    Hugs to to you.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by meow View Post
    I'm not sure on feedback- apart from you have me crying and I wish I could have known your Nan too
    :yeahthat:

    Thinking of you xox

  9. #9

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    Teni, it is a wonderful tribute to your Nan.

    I found a couple of words missing and when you are talking about her visiting you in hospital when you lost you son you refer to her as he.

    I am not trying to pick on your wording but when you are up there reading, it is better that your wording is perfect as sometimes the nerves/emotions hit and all you having it down on paper is so much easier. Hope that made sense.

    It sounds like you had a wonderful Nan and what a wonderful role model for your Mum & yourself.

  10. #10

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    You know, I read over it about ten times and never noticed I'd said "he" instead of "she"? Thanks Rivlas I'll re-read a couple more times before declaring it perfect

  11. #11

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    Teni, it sounds beautiful.

    I know what you mean about those newspaper things. We have to do one tomorrow for my Father in law
    Its so hard to do it and it not cost you a fortune.

  12. #12

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    Well you have me in a flood of tears here. What a beautiful tribute to someone who was obviously a wonderful person. Hugs hun.

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